Things not to say during or just after sex.

[Whoreo]

 *sucks thumb and starts making baby noises* lol

Now time for a true story......

"These are my parents...they're going to watch and rate your performance." apparently "They can join in and get a more...in-depth and practical perception, if they like" was not the right reply.

Edited August 7, 2015 by ωнσяєσ

[Manni]

Sorry but your price/performance ratio is like Beats Pro, too fucking low.

[SMFoxy]

Sorry but your price/performance ratio is like Beats Pro, too fucking low.

Like Beats, you charge way to much for something that's so cheap...

[Warlock]

A formula 1 car without tires runs a better race then what you just did.

[Whoreo]

"The best you can do is to just do the best you can..."

... because otherwise you fucking suck.

[SMFoxy]

"The best you can do is to just do the best you can..."

... because otherwise you fucking suck.

*suck at fucking.
*thereifixedit*

Gay Christian chatup line?
"Baby you better get them to legalise Cannabis, because I'm going to get stoned after sleeping with you."
(and yes, I'm aware that's not a real thing, I've read the Bible before. lol)

Edited August 8, 2015 by SMFoxy

[Whoreo]

The more I fuck you, the more I wish I was off my tits on smack.

[SMFoxy]

Someone would have to be off their meds to sleep with you...

[Whoreo]

Sorry but...I would need to be commuted to a mental institute to consider you boyfriend/girlfriend material.

[SMFoxy]

Right fellas, your turn...

[Novaer]

Fuck... Your black hole is sucking me in so hard it's beginning to spaghettify and it feels like it's taking forever to cum.

[SMFoxy]

^You're a creeper! (Yus! Another one for both XD)

That'sssssssss a niccccccccccce vagina/asssssssssssssss you have there... It'd be a ssssssssssshame if sssssssssssssssomething were to happen to it...
ssssssssssssssssssssssss*boom*
 

Fuck... Your black hole is sucking me in so hard it's beginning to spaghettify and it feels like it's taking forever to cum.

"I can't complain about the extra length, but fucking hell..." Alternatively "Nooooooooooooo! My girth!"

[Novaer]

O-M-G.

W-T-F.

L-O-L.

[Warlock]

Yea, the one before was better then this one...

[thedude]

*climaxes at the very beginning of foreplay* 

Was it good for you, too?

[Warlock]

*If you are a firefighter*

I'm sorry love, but I can put a pole in that hole and slide down further then at work, its simply to overused.

[Whoreo]

*growl* that's right baby, gimme your klingon love~

[Warlock]

I know I said I like monster girls, but could you not try to eat it like your a dog finding a bone...

[SMFoxy]

That really gets my beans boiling...

[Warlock]

Yea your mom could do better then this... she should have taught you better

[SMFoxy]

"You fuck like dad."
"That's what mum said."

[Warlock]

Geeze, maybe its better to just go te a-sexual way from now on

[Whoreo]

shitting yourself, that'd be pretty off putting, unless you're all into that sort of thing.

[Warlock]

OH man, I thought you where a dude... sorry

[Jordii~kins]

hang on a moment, i gotta Instagram this shit.