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By Kalvoras Vertal
"I think that the title of this is pretty much the explanation of this ^_^ I don't mind double posts, but please don't go nuts on that XD"
"I'll start this off ^_^"
Frieza: "I've gathered some of these things you people call 'Dragon Balls'. I've gathered them all, but I can't seem to get them to do what I want."
Nail: "Did you try working the shaft?"
Frieza: "Haha, very classy."
Guru: "NAAIIIILLL. What does he want?"
Nail: "He wants to know how to use the Dragon Balls, sir."
Guru: "Did you tell him to work the shaft?"
Nail: "Yes, I did, sir."
Frieza: "Something tells me that you're going to make this difficult"
Nail: "Well sir, if you're having problems with customer service, you can call 1-800-EAT-A-DICK"
Guru: "WE DON'T EVEN HAVE THOOOSE"
~Frieza, Nail, and Guru: Dragon Ball Z Abridged (Season 2)
By Sola Haze
Style of sex: Seme or Uke?: Kinks or Vanilla?: BDSM?: Turn-ons: Between: Turn-offs: Limits: Attitude: Using mouth?: What do they do after sex?: Partners: If Uke, Submissive or defiant?: If Seme, Dominating or Caring?: Masochist?: Naughty Quotes: What are they good at?: What are they bad at?: Do they initiate things? (Kisses, sex, etc): Possessive?: Type of Kisser: Romance or Lust?: Favorite positions: Sexy outfits: Do they wear clothes during sex?: Do they like their partner wearing clothes during sex?: Sexual fantasies: Sex with lights on or off?: Relationships or one-night stands?: Favorite places to have sex: Do they masturbate?: Sex toys: How many partners do they like at once?:
So I'm looking for a guy who would be interested in doing a smutty RP with me. I'm quite a vanilla person, so I don't want someone who only RPs with extreme fetishes/kinks.
I don't mind the scenario, my age, my appearance, etc. It's up to you to decide. Before we RP we can decide on this, then get right in on the loving!
My descriptions during messages will be quite long - I don't mind the length of yours but I don't want supershort ones.
Thank you for reading! Contact me if you'd like to roleplay.
Woah, just in time for Halloween. Okay, so, we've all heard songs before...on the radio, on our phones, out in the streets, and pretty much everywhere in life. But what about the lesser-known, more bizarre stuff out there? I tend to listen to a lot of electronic music, and at times I do come across some tunes that might have a weird sound sample, or some quirky effect. I recently came across one that is quite easily one of the most bizarre songs I have ever heard. It's...well...just listen...
CAUTION: Following audio contains loud, harsh noise, and might be disturbing to some.
So~...What ~is~ the weirdest thing you have ever heard, personally?
[I'm not a professional reviewer just decided to make a post in here. Might make it a regular occurrence... I do have plenty of Hentai, who knows? I don't expect everyone to agree with my views or opinions, and if yours differs please feel free to reply/leave a comment. But lets keep this rational.]
I watched this the only way I could and would ever watch a Hentai; English Subbed (Because the only other language I remotely know is Russian even then... It's pretty much "Hello" and "Can I use the toilet?") and Japanese Dubbed (Because English Dubbing sends to sound shallow, flat, uninspiring and worst of all- Juvenile. In my opinion).
Kuro Ai: Hitoyozumakan Inkou Rannyuuroku A.K.A Dark Love is a very strange Hentai indeed; it starts off with a tentacle rape/tentacle fucking that should give the viewer some indication of what's to come, yet in Episode 1 this is the last time we see a good ol' fashioned Tentacle Scene. I watch this the only way I could and would ever watch a Hentai; English Subbed (Because the only other language I remotely know is Russian even then... It's pretty much "Hello" and "Can I use the toilet?") and Japanese Dubbed (Because English Dubbing sends to sound shallow, flat, uninspiring and worst of all- Juvenile. In my opinion).
The Sex Scenes are on Crack and the Characters are quite possibly on Cocaine and Speed. Welcome to Dark Love.
When I first saw this in 2010; it was immediately hailed as my favourite Hentai of all time, so it's interesting now in 2013 (nearly 2014) that I'd review it again nearly four months on and almost 9 years after episode one was released. Since 2005 the world of Hentai has changed, perhaps forever. So a lot has happened since this was released and I definitely don't think it'd be released today. To say it's "Absolutely Not For Children" would be perhaps the biggest understatement ever; some adults can't even cope with the stuff that goes on in this Hentai. But I'm a little older now, and I believe I can analyse it at least somewhat objectively with hardly any bias. Fingers crossed.
The plot according to ANN states "Tetsuya's investigation into a luxurious hotel turns over a nest of yakuza and a bizarre orgy cult. On rich silk sheets and velvet chairs, the rich and powerful participate in sex acts so depraved that just witnessing them is likely to turn a man into a monster. But the true purpose of this cult is a pact with evil energies that can literally turn Tetsuya into an inhuman demon." Well I'm glad someone has an idea what's going on; I've watched this Hentai about six times already and each time I learn more, I pick more up from it in terms of trying to follow the plot. Perhaps its because I have to read it all (Which no doubt things probably got lost in translation in) but that's not the only thing, as I said earlier the characters seem to be on some kind of speed enhancing narcotic, blink and you probably missed a key part of the story, and if that wasn't bad enough it seems the sex scenes are placed in just the correct format to completely distract you from the Story Line.
Did anyone else find it a little bit strange that Tetsuya Gojou's work can be helped by standing outside of a school for (what I assume is for) girls? Come on... I'm the first to say there are ligitmate reasons why grown men might be around a school (Teacher, Parent, etc) but even in context that's strange.
Now usually this isn't such a bad thing, distraction with some kinky pleasure, and on that regard it works. But the problem is, that's not the only thing that's distracting. The Sex Scenes contain a lot of flashing, and quite frankly high quality GIF like pictures on a 1ms transitional or something (Hence the Crack comment.) Now whilst I see what the producers were trying to do with this, I feel that it was just simply too fast with lacking frames, it was like watching a computer game lag. Then there's the fucking dialogue during the sex scenes, I find it hard to take any of them seriously anymore, even taken out of context it's annoyingly, humorously distracting at best and not in the good way.
On the topic of distractions during the sex if the above wasn't enough, something rather strange happened in the first sex scene. Without giving too many spoilers away (if you haven't watched it already) Miyabi came into the bedroom of Tetsuya Gojou, a phone tucked half in her thigh high as she crawled her way up Tetsuya Gojou's bed. The Phone was connected to a phone call with Ayaka Utsumi (From what I can tell; she's Tetsuya Gojou's girlfriend.) Where she could hear her lover climaxing because Miyabi was giving him a weird blowjob/titjob. Obvious Ayaka Utsumi heard this and was deeply upset that her beloved would cheat on her. So far, so good. Then the music changed, and things started getting weird. They were being watched by Hazuki Sogawa who at this point is masturbating furiously, I think pretending that that Tetsuya Gojou was doing this to her, but then strangely so was his now Ex-Girlfriend (She dumped him apparently). The sex scene jumped back and forward from this rape scene to these two women jiffing themselves off. That was confusing and I'm not entirely certain that upon hearing that news and reacting like that the first thing anyone would do is furiously masturbate over the cheating partner fucking them like this. So yeah that was a little confusing to be honest.
Apparently duc, his well-being doesn't seem to be his biggest priority at the moment.
The more I tried analysing this Hentai the more I got quite cynical about it and I didn't really know what it was. As I said previously the more times I watched it the more it appeared to change my perspective into what exactly I just watched. I love that they crammed so many fetishes into one bag but the scene were we had wiggly worms being inserted up the anus of Hazuki Sogawa... Personally not thing, and I personally don't know who on Earth would find that sexually pleasing. (But apparently it's a real thing, so I withhold my judgement on it, each to their own.)
There is a plot to this porn, but the problem with it is it's both brilliant and hard to follow mainly because of the distractions. If the plot was easier to follow, and less distractions through the whole 'Adult Cartoon' then perhaps it would have made it perfect. I also get we're trying to train 'dirty sluts' here, but I don't quite understand why a "Slut" should have to look up at the man they're blowing off. Really; from my perspective I find it awkward (That could just be me though) if anyone did it. Slut or not. But throughout the series one's not sure if they're berating or complimenting "Sluts" further adding to the confusion.
I feel Dark Love somewhat shares what I personally believe in. Although they probably push the boundaries for me a little bit further than that. It's not often in a Hentai you see a Pregnant Woman simultaneously giving a bunch of men some sexual service, but it was nice to see. Everything about it was tolerable, and even enjoyable (Save the faults listed above) then at the end she was pissed on by all of them. Well there's another boner killer right there.
I have to keep in mind that some people out there do love having a Golden Shower (Again not my thing, I do RP it though.) AND it's with (As far as we're aware) consenting adults. (Okay it's a Hentai, it's fictional. That's not what I meant.)
Episode two; starts off with Rikka Koujin blowing off Tetsuya, somewhat explaining a mission involving the Magic Potion, which was somewhat touched on in the first Episode. We can deduce that this potion fuels some kind of change to tentacle monster from Human in this Episode. I think these are filled with what ever woman he's "Courrupted"'s collection of male jizz. (I've heard that before...) This potion keeps people youthful, slutty and irresistible to- I've watched this six times and honestly I have no fucking idea what's going on. It explains a few things leaves a lot open for interpretation, moving on...
After the titles we're pretty much introduced to Honoka Houjou's sister, Kaori Mizuno, she's a married woman. Except we don't know that bit yet, she's in debt possibly because her business isn't doing so well and she has to pay the money back to what I would assume is either Yukuza or some kind of Non-Tentacle-Monster-Owning-Loan-Shark, there's a shocker. Honoka Houjou brings Hazuki Sogawa and Tetsuya Gojou in with her, at this point Honoka and Kaori are revealed to be sisters and Hazuki and Tetsuya are "Customers" After some whoopsie-daisy I dropped the drink and broke something we enter the closure of the scene after a quick comedy sibling-teasing bit. We seem to jump forward in time, and we come back to the Cafe/Shop thing only to find that now she has to pay by noon not days she was promised before. Tetsuya conveniently makes a re-appearance after the phone call, from what we can assume this is out of the blue. He apparently wants to help her, there's a short cut and he's sitting down, ordering a warm drink. Apparently big breasts means Titty Milk, whilst I won't pick on a hentai for this kind of logic, I will say that her not questioning this did ring as little odd, but perhaps she's desperate.
Kaori returns with the milk in a sippy cup, I dread to think how much that'll set him back. When she brings it over to him we have another typical "Whoopsie-daisy" moment in which her breast milk spills all over his groin.
That's some fascinating stuff. I know some people will say this Hentai is derogatory to women. I'd be happy with that statement, if on the same logic, when applying a faulty premise on a fictional cartoon that it's also derogatory to men too. I don't think I've heard Sperm and Semen reduced to dirty "Cock Juice" and said more times in any Hentai in my life. Seriously it could be turned into a drinking game. If you're one of those people (and whatever -- its your life) that finds and complains about these types of problems then perhaps Dark Love isn't for you. In fact most Hentai probably isn't either.
It seems his luck didn't get the shit end of the stick as well, as within seconds she agreed to clean him all up with her mouth. How nice... Then he got a boner and you know where that's going next. Infact the first time I saw this episode I distinctly remember when I first heard about the Coffee shop saying "HURR! You know where that's going!" Well unsurprisingly it went there, and then some.
After the blowjob we're left with Tetsuya telling her how she was going to pay back her debt, assumingly it involved selling them off. We also get a nice squiggly line away from her mouth from what I assume is a pube. I know I wanted realism but really?
As I went through the plot, I felt it was rushed when she just started handing out sexual favours so willingly, but then I don't consider myself part of the society that's around me... So I have no idea if a married woman would do this so quickly, I doubt it. Then within ten minutes she sold herself and her sister off to pay her debts. Then less than ten minutes after all this started there was a free for all, fuck and cum inside party between her and her sister with a room full of men (apparently). To which they were berated and fucked and then pissed all over again. (This time they made the mentioning of drinking it all down. What ever rocks your boat?) The sex scenes were hilarious in dialogue, animation, and content. I'm also pretty sure that this DVD should contain an Epilepsy Warning, because it just wasn't fun. As fictional (IE. Not real, as in they're not real people) storylines go, it'd probably be alot better if the dialogue was cleaned up, if I could edit Subs in the video I'd probably do it just so I could stop complaining about it. But if the scenes weren't so distracting. There's also a lot of "I'm going to Climax"... I mean repeatedly. I thought this may have been Translation issues but later it was "I'm coming" which to be honest reads better.
I feel if I were wanking off to this, I'd end up like this guy...
I feel this Hentai is supposed to be a boundary pusher, and that's pretty much mission accomplished. In terms of Fetishes, I feel it hits a niche market, so I have to say that's quite daring. We have Pregnancy, Impregnation, Cheating, Bondage, Golden Showers, Inserting Wiggly-Worms up the butt, Tentacle, Dominance, A little Girl on Girl and a dash of romance (I suppose, in the second episode) and it mixes them quite well. It's pretty good at combining these to make a sex scene. Not all of them appealed to me but then it wasn't made just for me. All of this I felt was let down by the extremely low-quality rapid GIF like animations for the sex scenes, the plot was hard to follow and after watching a total of six times in my life, I still have no fucking clue what's REALLY going on. It didn't help that the distractions, distracted from it. Yet you'd be hard pressed to find the fetishes the series covered so it's a tough call. I do feel there maybe capacity for a third and last episode if anything it could tie up a few things and end the story completely but perhaps leaving it on a cliff hanger was intentional. Either way this Hentai IS inspiring particularly if you're Roleplaying something similar. It definitely could have been an actual season (say containing four to six episodes) if the time was taken to properly explain the plot and to spread it out across. That's the main problem with this Hentai; it's on crack; it's just cramming everything into two 30 minute videos and I feel that is ultimately Dark Love's downfall. Perhaps with it spread like that they wouldn't have needed to make the sex scenes look rushed (not just fast but rushed too). Considering this was my favourate hentai I don't say that lightly.
There are a lot of good elements in there, but then a lot of it is ruined by the faults and ultimately; this Unique Hentai could have done really well. But it's a shame. The dialogue is cheesy and lame although the story telling is pretty good, if you can keep up. Overall not the worst hentai I've ever watched... It's awkward, jutty and just simply... It's not the best hentai I've ever seen. But it's still my favourate for now, which proves you don't have to be perfect to be liked.
I don't mean to sound big headed and righteous, hell I don't think I could do better personally. It's worth watching if you're into a lot of things it does and if you Roleplay and need ideas it's perhaps perfect if you're looking for that sort of thing.
Of course I probably have better and worst ones with this kind of collection:
Please note that this article was originally posted up on November 24th 2013; we have since redone our articles system and moved the review - which has given it a new "Published Date". Apologies for the inconvenience.