I think I wanna try to DM something

[ThatLewdCat]

Since a few days ago, I've told myself that it's time to 100% stop roleplaying and even writing altogether. It's a long story, but... I just feel like the time has come to leave this old hobby of mine because it doesn't really bring me any pleasure. Only frustration.

But my mind, my imagination can't just stop working like that, with a snap of a finger. It keeps on going and going. So a stupid idea came to me. A compromise. Try DMing a story/world for someone. Without actually roleplaying a character myself in it. And I guess in a shape of a club here.

There are however several things to consider:

1. Will my idea be interesting to people? I know it's impossible to answer this one without knowing what it is, but... Let's just say, modern real world humans ending up in fantasy/sci-fi (ish?) environment. With super rare (only when REALLY needed) and (mostly) freeform combat, aside from occasional dice roll to decide on some thingies, without any proper D&D-like rule-system or whatever.
2. Will people be even interested in story-driven play here? Obviously with occasional sexytimes between their characters, if they so desire - either in an open thread or in personal messages.
3. Will there be enough interested people at all? It's not like ED is a huge community here... Plus there are already plenty of other clubs. Mine would be just one of many.
4. Most importantly: Will I be able to even do it? And wouldn't it make things even worse for me in terms of frustration than I already am? And I bet I would definitely need help...

It's not like a final decision. Just "wondering", thinking "what if". Should I or should I not. I don't know yet. What are your thoughts?

[Manni]

My question back to you would be what exactly are you finding frustrating about roleplaying here or anywhere? I would think that without understand why you are finding roleplaying frustrating and not enjoyable, you're going to keep going around in circles.

[pH_Scale]

As a GM of an RP for several years, I will say you'll definitely feel frustrated and tired of GMing an RP. Therefore, I advice you to prepare for that if you're gonna GM a grouo RP.

Players will drop, take a long time to respond, etc. But that's the price we pay for wanting to create stories with other people. Perseverance is key.

That said, I will be glad to help you in this endeavor.

[ThatLewdCat]

1 hour ago, Manni said:

My question back to you would be what exactly are you finding frustrating about roleplaying here or anywhere? I would think that without understand why you are finding roleplaying frustrating and not enjoyable, you're going to keep going around in circles.

Are you sure you wanna hear the whole long story? -.-

1 hour ago, pH_Scale said:

As a GM of an RP for several years, I will say you'll definitely feel frustrated and tired of GMing an RP. Therefore, I advice you to prepare for that if you're gonna GM a grouo RP.

Players will drop, take a long time to respond, etc. But that's the price we pay for wanting to create stories with other people. Perseverance is key.

That said, I will be glad to help you in this endeavor.

Thanks for the heads-up. Appreciate it.

[Manni]

30 minutes ago, ThatLewdCat said:

Are you sure you wanna hear the whole long story? -.-

Yes. It might help shed some light on why you keep doing this every few months.

[ThatLewdCat]

58 minutes ago, Manni said:

Yes. It might help shed some light on why you keep doing this every few months.

I'm not "doing this every few months". Taking a break in hopes of things getting better is not the same as trying to stop roleplaying entirely. But okay, I got your message. Loud and clear. Thanks.

[ThatLewdCat]

I simply think the time has finally come to move on. Leave roleplaying and writing behind and... Get a new hobby of some kind. I think I am just Already too old and too dead inside to keep going. Or rather, keep trying to. Sure, most of my experience in the last 2 years was from F-list, but not exclusively.

I tried taking breaks - didn't work. So no, taking a break with clear intentions of returning at one point is not the same as wanting to TRY and stop entirely and forever. Sure, I previously might have had such thoughts of leaving RP behind forever. Maybe even talked about it. But those were just that - thoughts. Just like this thread here. Only thoughts of wanting to DM something.

I moved from site to site, from community to community - didn't change much either.

I tried complicating things and simplifying things, for myself and partners - no positive results.

I tried giving people chances (many!), being super polite against any reasonable limits even with the most nastiest and rude people and I also tried being strict, super picky, even rude at times myself -  no difference. in fact, polite rejections yielded way more negative reactions compared to just blocking or telling the person to fuck off with their rape fantasy or something else they offered to play that is clearly not what I'm looking for.

I tried focusing on one thing, one character/story/concept/profile and I spread myself thin across many things at the same time. Neither of that worked well.

I don't really put much blame on others, even though... a lot of my frustration did came because of various interactions with different people. That stuff obviously still did put a certain toll on me, no doubt.
Im simply... Too old for this, I guess. And it’s not exactly about the literal age here either. That excited and active “writer/roleplayer child” inside me is... dead. All that’s left are memories of the good ol times. But no old partners, no old stories and even no old places to go back to where I had a lot of fun back in the day. Lately, for the last year or even two... It’s all just frustration. Endless cycle of frustration and mood-killers.

Sure, there were moments when I did found good people. Multiple times. Here too. But RPing with them did not seem... right. Did not captivate me for long enough. I can create interesting characters, lore, setups and stories... But can't keep the excitement over them afterwards. As in, I get a core idea, I get excited and build more details around it, write it out as an offer of RP or something. But once that is done and I send it or maybe when the partner messages me an intro or something... I already kinda loose it. The excitement. It's gone, poof. So yeah. I can't hold excitement over roleplay and writing anymore. It's just... Not there. Empty. It appears for the moment of creation, but then poof.

So... It’s for the best. I think I will still lurk around here, chat, upload and share pics... But without any intent of roleplaying ever again in my life.

 

Yeah. Sorry. Asking this question was a mistake. It would also be for the best if you simply delete/hide this thread, @Manni. I'll just lurk around, post silly statuses, upload pics, but that's it. Or just leave in silence.

To all who saw this one - sorry to have bothered you and wasted your time.

[Elena Ichinomiya]

I won't ask why you decide to leave the RP activity altogether, its your own reason. Just know that you might let people anticipation down etc. Not trying to guilt trip you here, just wanna say there's certain gain/loss. Anyway, i'll focus on your question. Don't blame me if you don't like the answer; you post it on public, public will talk.

9 hours ago, ThatLewdCat said:

1. Will my idea be interesting to people? I know it's impossible to answer this one without knowing what it is, but... Let's just say, modern real world humans ending up in fantasy/sci-fi (ish?) environment. With super rare (only when REALLY needed) and (mostly) freeform combat, aside from occasional dice roll to decide on some thingies, without any proper D&D-like rule-system or whatever.
2. Will people be even interested in story-driven play here? Obviously with occasional sexytimes between their characters, if they so desire - either in an open thread or in personal messages.
3. Will there be enough interested people at all? It's not like ED is a huge community here... Plus there are already plenty of other clubs. Mine would be just one of many.
4. Most importantly: Will I be able to even do it? And wouldn't it make things even worse for me in terms of frustration than I already am? And I bet I would definitely need help...

1. Everyone has taste; you can't win them all. When i got an idea that i think its great, 9 out of 10 will prove me wrong as it turn out only trickle of people got absorbed into what i'm writing. By all mean, don't expect much, but don't let it get to your head either. 
2. Like i said, everyone has taste. I personally got interested in story-driven play but it also depends on the theme and genre. Be it clean or sweaty smutty story.
3. This actually worried me. If you easily feel bored and want to end things fast, i won't stop you from trying, but rather to consider the option.
   -Are you gonna be dedicated to your own club?
   -Are you sure you won't lost interest with the club fast? GM got bored with their own club is common thing but got bored on day one is not good.
   -Are you prepare to keep running in circle with the same theme over and over?
   -Are you prepare to handle how people act on your club? (Delay, OOT, OP fiasco, possibly one liner, ghosting, etc)
   IMO, if you still having slightest doubt, don't do it. But again, its just suggestion from stranger who fail at her own club so you can wave this off for your own amusement
4. See point 3 and consider it. People here is nice enough to give you some hand if you ask them but remember that you're the one at the helm since you know your own club better than anyone include moderator; which mean they might come back from time to time to ask something what's the club do and don't. If you still being easily bored, frustrated-self, or any kind of depressing thing you talking about, like i said before, stop and think again. Last thing you want is another load of BS that only make you sad.

But i gotta be honest with you, i want to try my luck to RP with you but after reading your preference sheet, RP request, the terms, my impression of you is "too much". No i'm not saying that's bad thing, i even have my own demand. I don't know what others think so it might be just me. To put it brief, just reading your preference alone already discourage me and telling me that i can't give satisfaction you wanted in RP, hence i bail without bother trying. Not because of kink clashing or genre, but the terms being laid on. This is my personal opinion though, others might don't give a dime what and how you execute things.

Just being honest loved-hated Elena here. I wish you luck on any path you choose.