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I seem to be a latecomer to online role play.

My interest in role playing - and orcs - was sparked by being invited to a Live Action Role Play (LARP): a big event called Empire where thousands of people dress up as knights, warriors, orcs, monsters, peasants, and act out epic battles and intrigues. I think the rules are like Dungeons and Dragons but I am not sure.

I did not think I would enjoy it, but did, very much. I made my own costume - a some short sleeved tunic - but did not have time to do the pants I planned so ended up like a miniskirted female fighter - but it didn't matter because players react to how you present not what you really look like.

There are strict rules of engagement, one being absolutely no sex references, but as a petite skimpily dressed female facing - and sometimes wrestling with - big warriors and hulking orcs I found it distractingly erotic.

Afterwards I started to wonder what it would be like to be in such a world for real, then to fantasize about being cast, as the real me, by some magic into such a world where the warriors and monsters and orcs were real, and not bound by rules of engagement, with me alone and fairly helpless....

After a time I wrote the fantasy down - as I do sometimes with my daydreams and fantasies.

Three years ago, and partly because I wanted to explore the orc fantasy other than just on my own, I started to indulge in online sex chat - which was incredibly erotic at first but soon became repetitive and demanding- and mostly just quick and dirty sex, not the narrative tension and gradual development I craved.

I tried sex forums and found one that welcomed my fantasies - and true anecdotes - but role play in the form I wanted was absent.

Then I found Ecchidreams, and it is like the home for fantasy that I wanted. I don't know the rules or etiquette but I am a willing and happy learner. I wrote an introduction set in the LARP with me being cast into the orc world, and am very much enjoying what they are doing to me, and I am branching out into other fantasies too.

It feels like coming home.

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41 minutes ago, Balthier said:

I think the fantasy or storybulding here is just as important as the gratification seeking. There are definitely some good writers here. Far better than myself.

You seem a very good writer to me.

I am looking forward to developing some long term role plays here.

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The role plays in which I have indulged since coming here have been ... eye opening ... in good ways.

So many themes, some so fantastical, some challenging both my sexual imagination and its limits, some simply so deep and thoughful that I could lose myself in the imaginary worlds that are being created even now when they are only raw beginnings.

I also quickly found the limits of my role playing abilities: I have never played role playing games and although I took part in live action role play the rules there are much less strict for novice players, and more forgiving. I had no idea, for example, that som erole plays would be 'turn-based' with a strict order in which characters act: nor did I realise that in an online role play it is etiquette to clearly announce your characters actions, for instance when leaving a room or ending a scene - in live action both are obvvious because you just walk away, or very naturally make a 'goodbye' remark. I am glad my role play partners in those were understanding of my novice mistakes: but for now I do find less structured role plays both easier to do and to follow.

My last bit of learning is that my story writing does not equip me as well as I hoped for role play: first, I seem unable to shift out of a 'first person' narrative, which I fear places me as a central character that others may not wish me to be - yet for me it is the most immediate, immersive, way to write not just in role play but in story telling - like lived personal experience, unfiltered, immediate and involving (for me anyway); second, and although I have created several 'characters' to suit differet role plays, I find it hard not to play me - the real me - my imagination does not yet seem to run to my being young or beautiful, far less to my having wings or a tail and even less so to my sexual appetite being more voracious and forward - in one role play someone offered to modify my DNA so I became a sort of huge sex diven insect, in another I seem to be about to give birth to a dragon - both fascinating to play but hard to write, and even harder to 'feel' - but that is some of what I sought here, to be stretched (in more way than one..); and finally my sexual desires - in fantasy and role play at least - seem sort of 'fixated', mostly on my being basically gang banged, albeit mildly - surprisingly hard for me to imagine role play romance or myself as the voracious dominant sexual partner or the stranger themes I have been offered. I suppose really what seemed to me wild perverted fantasy is fairly plain vanilla - which sort of sums up the real me too.

So as I hoped, this is being 'a learning experience': opening me up, stretching me (and yes, I intend the innuendo..) - andd so far I love it. 🙂

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