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  *Chapter 6: Standard Procedure*

  *This chapter includes a graphic depiction of a painful medical procedure. Reader discretion is advised.*

  As it turned out, Kevin and his daughter were not far behind Tyler; they arrived about 15 minutes after he did, just in time for Eleanor, much less hurt from her fall than she acted, to tell them of Tyler's whereabouts. Tyler and Shaymin, by that point, were in the bathroom, the latter curled up in a sink, being carefully bathed by the former. Shaymin had opted for a sink bath when given the choice, simply out of convenience. Less water went to waste, as well, which was also an advantage; Shaymin, obviously, was nowhere near Tyler's size. Tyler, on the other hand, had half a mind to thank her; Shaymin already looked nothing less than beguiling to Tyler, but she looked absolutely adorable being bathed in the sink like an infant. Tyler, in fact, was so lost in thought that, were it not for Shaymin turning her head and saying "huh?", he wouldn't have known that somebody was knocking on the bathroom door. He heard the second knock, though, and responded accordingly, turning the knobs on the sink to lessen the flow of water, allowing him to better hear his morally ambiguous friend. "Who is it?" "It's Kevin," was the reply from the other side of the door. "Sakura's here, too. Can we come in, or are you 2 doing something?"

  Tyler and Shaymin both shared the same thought. "Let's pretend we're having sex; we can creep them out!" Of course, they were both smart enough not to act on their shared thought, but the glint in Shaymin's jade-coloured eyes, and Tyler's sapphire-coloured ones, were clear indications of their original plan. "Should we let them in?" Tyler asked. As tempted as Shaymin was to start moaning or crying out "don't stop, Tyler!", she reluctantly nodded. "I don't see why not; it's not as if we're doing anything incriminating." The tone of voice she used upon saying that made the fact that she wished it were a lie as clear as the hot water that was still cascading down onto her from the silver tone faucet. Speaking of that, Shaymin had no doubt that she had made the right choice, as far as the sink bath went; the water felt marvelous pouring directly onto her, whereas, if she had chosen a traditional bath, she would simply have been placed in a full tub. As it happened, Kevin and his daughter had impeccable timing; their arrival coincided with the end of Shaymin's bath. Tyler made a move to turn off the water, so as not to drown Shaymin or scald her while he opened the door to greet them, but Shaymin shook her head in protest. "Mnnff... Just a few more seconds, please? This feels sooooo good!" Tyler couldn't blame her; after what she had gone through, of course she wanted a bit of pampering. Tyler left her be as he walked to the door.

  On the other side of the door, Kevin, responding to Prudence's angry whispers of "Mew Christ; did they drown in there?", was ready to knock on the door again before Tyler opened it. He wanted to yell at his epicene friend for leaving him and his daughter behind, but Tyler beat him to the first word, as well as a good deal more words. "Kevin! Prudence! Thanks so much for coming; I need your help." He moved aside and gestured for them to enter, but they stayed put. "What the Hell is your problem, Ty?!" Kevin demanded. "You took off and left us in the middle of nowhere! What the fuck did Eleanor tell you over the phone?!" "Shaymin threw up," Tyler answered simply. "Look; I could really use your help. Please?" Kevin sighed, then nodded. As angry as he was, he knew Tyler seemed to have his priorities straight. "What do you need?"

  Shaymin was in such a state of profound relaxation, had she been given a minute more, she would've fallen asleep. The hot water surrounding her was as good as a lullaby. As such, when Tyler turned the water off, Shaymin actually whined, eliciting an understanding "sorry" from him. By way of a response, Shaymin looked up at him with a slight, weary smile, then tottered around on the slick porcelain for a bit before Tyler picked her up and set her down on the countertop. Her first instinct was to shake the water off of her fur, like a dog would, but she didn't act on it. She didn't have to; Tyler had her encased in a towel in seconds. A small chuckle escaped Prudence's throat; in truth, she disliked both the goddess of plants and the ridiculously feminine doctor that held her, but she wasn't heartless, and the cuteness of the current situation wasn't lost on her. "So, what do you need our help for?" Kevin asked. Tyler giggled before turning to face him. "Are you ready to play doctor?"

  *A short time later, in Tyler's guest bedroom...*

  Prudence scoffed as her eyes, which had been scanning the overwhelmingly pink guest room, were now focused on the dirtied bed. "Huh. Well, I'll be damned." She was addressing Shaymin; she had obviously seen the Legendary's vomit and blood. "You really DID puke! And it looks like you've been cutting yourself, too." Shaymin kept quiet for a few reasons. For one, even if she were to speak up, she didn't know what to comment on; Prudence implying that Tyler had lied, or her indifference towards what, if it had happened as she had said, would've been a suicide attempt. Secondly, if Shaymin could've made a decision, she didn't trust herself to keep a clean vocabulary. She didn't want to admit it, but Prudence's attitude was getting to her, and she knew there was little chance of coming up with a reply that wouldn't be laden with vulgarity, or, at least, involve it. Luckily, Tyler came through for her. "Shaymin has Mallory-Weiss syndrome. Her esophagus got torn open by the acid in her vomit, as well as how violently she was throwing up. That's where the blood came from." "Ouch," Prudence whispered. Again, Shaymin metaphorically bit her tongue, and, again, Tyler picked up on her vibes and spoke for her, to her great relief. "You would have to throw up a whole lot to get Mallory-Weiss syndrome. There are a few things that could cause profuse vomiting. The most obvious would be food poisoning, but it can't be that. Nothing in the tests showed anything that could've caused it. With that ruled out, I suspect bacterial meningitis. That's what I need help with."

  "Sounds like you already have this figured out," Kevin noted. "What could we possibly help with?" Tyler breathed deeply, showing that what he was about to say would be difficult. "Well,... in order to properly make a diagnosis of any type of meningitis, I have to perform a lumbar puncture. That will involve inserting a needle into Shaymin's back, and collecting fluid samples from around her spinal cord for analysis. That's what I need your help with." Kevin put his hands on his hips and chuckled. "That was very informative, but you still didn't answer my question, so I'm gonna ask it again. You asked me for help. Provided I agree to do it, what will that entail?" Tyler nodded. Kevin was right; it was time to cut to the chase. "Well, in her current state, I can't give her anything orally to numb the pain, but I can't have her squirming around, so I'll need you to hold her down." Even Prudence, who disliked Shaymin, shuddered. "You want daddy to hold Shaymin down while you jam a needle into her spine? That's some horror movie shit!" For whatever reason, Shaymin decided that that was a good time to finally speak up, which shocked all 3 of the others. Though she finally trusted herself not to cuss Prudence out, the annoyance and bitterness in her weak voice were evident. "Well, Prudence, if you have a better idea, I'm sure we'd all like to hear it! And, besides,..." She paused to nuzzle into Tyler's chest, or, rather, the red t-shirt covering it(Tyler was still wearing his lab coat, but it was unbuttoned, leaving a gap in between the 2 halves.). Her voice was gentle and sweet, almost amorous, when she continued talking. "...I trust him. Ty wouldn't do anything to hurt me purposely." "Not purposely, no," Prudence admitted. "Dr. Miller knows what he's doing." Tyler, stunned by Prudence's kindness, opened his mouth to thank her, but she kept talking, not paying attention. "But any procedure has risks." "I explained that to her before you got here," Tyler assured her. "Informed consent has to be obtained before the procedure can be performed." Shaymin gave a happy nod. "That's right, and I gave my consent." Tyler turned to look at Kevin. "So, will you help?" Kevin looked up at the ceiling and ruffled the little bit of hair he had. "Sure. Why not?"

  *A few minutes later...*

  "Our patient is an adult female Shaymin," Tyler announced in the most professional, doctorly voice he could muster, "who presented with a fever of unknown origin, hallucinations, febrile seizures, and, recently, violent vomiting, which has caused an esophageal tear. Suspected diagnosis is Mallory-Weiss syndrome secondary to bacterial meningitis. Consent has been obtained-" "Cut to the chase, Meredith," Kevin interrupted rudely, making a reference to Grey's Anatomy, the main character of which is Dr. Meredith Grey. "I have to give you the briefing," Tyler argued calmly. "We need to treat this like we would if we were in the Pokémon Centre." "We're NOT in the Pokémon Centre!" Prudence snapped. "Get on with it!" "Look; I'm gonna do my thing!" Tyler growled. "Why don't you just go in the living room and chat with Eleanor?" Prudence rolled her eyes and left. "Fine with me." With her out of the room, Tyler addressed Kevin after giving Shaymin an apologetic look, which she responded to by way of a giggle. By this time, Tyler had changed the bedsheets Shaymin dirtied. He couldn't, in good conscience, perform the procedure with the patient lying atop bloody and vomited-on bedsheets. "May I finish now?" he asked. "Fine!" Kevin groaned. "Thank you!" Tyler said cheerfully, before resuming his official-sounding voice. "Consent has been obtained from the patient to perform a lumbar puncture to check for anomalies in her cerebrospinal fluid. Unfortunately, due to her esophageal tear, I can't give her anything orally to sedate her. Intravenous medicine is not recommended prior to a lumbar puncture; therefore, the patient will need to be physically restrained to stop her from moving around. The patient has been through several other diagnostic procedures in the recent past, eliminating the need for further blood testing and neurological examinations. Are you ready to restrain her?" Kevin sighed and nodded. Tyler looked back at Shaymin, who looked extremely happy, despite being ready to have a needle inserted into her. "Are you ready for the procedure?" "Yep!" she replied without a second thought. "Go for it!"

    From what appeared to be a glorified first-aid kit, Tyler procured a syringe, which he fitted with a very thin needle. "Alright; I'm beginning the procedure. Kevin, I'll need you to sit on the bed and hold Shaymin tightly, with her back facing me. This'll only take a few seconds, but don't let go of her." His friend complied and sat on the bed. Obviously, Shaymin heard, too, so she made her way to Kevin's lap, then curled up on it. Kevin got a firm grip on her and pulled her in close. It looked as if Kevin was comforting a crying infant. Clearly, it looked that way to Tyler, as evidenced by the soft "aww" that escaped him. He quickly snapped out of it, though. "This is gonna hurt for a bit, and you're gonna feel 2 pops, but it'll be over soon." "C'mon, Tyler!" Shaymin coaxed, her voice muffled; she didn't have the heart to say it, at least, not at the moment, but Kevin was holding her a bit too tightly. "I'm a big girl; I can handle it!" It registered in Tyler's mind the irony of someone he had bathed in the sink not even a half hour prior arguing that she was an adult, even though it was true. He didn't show it, though, wanting simply to get the procedure over with. With all indications of a strong desire for the entire ordeal to be a nightmare, he walked over to where Kevin was sitting. "Let's see,... in between the L3 and L4 vertebrate..." As he spoke, he ran his empty hand down Shaymin's back, accidentally eliciting a coo from her. "In a Shaymin, that should be... right here!"

  With no more warning than that, he brought the needle in his other hand down onto the spot he had selected. The skin beneath Shaymin's quills gave way with very little resistance. Shaymin let out a yelp, but, thanks to Kevin, she remained still. Tyler gave Kevin a nod of approval before pushing the needle deeper. Soon, he hit some resistance. "Alright; get ready for the first pop." Being immobilized, the only bracing Shaymin could do was mental. A mere few seconds later, she gave another cry as the needle pierced the first layer of protection. "You're doing great!" Tyler assured her. "I'll make this next part quick. On 'three.' One,... two,..." At the same time that he exclaimed "three!", he pushed the needle one last time, and Shaymin, not fully prepared, let out a final cry as the needle went straight through her dura mater, accompanied by another pop. "Kevin, Shaymin, you're both doing great!" Tyler complimented both of them. "That was the painful part." "Praise Arceus!" Shaymin gasped. Tyler didn't say anything. He simply pulled up on the plunger of the syringe very slightly, causing a small amount of cloudy, slightly yellow liquid to be drawn into the clear tube. Tyler pulled the instrument, in its entirety, out of Shaymin's back, then petted the hedgehog gently. "It's over now; Kevin, let her go." Kevin released his grip, and Shaymin leapt off of his lap and onto the bedsheets. She looked up at the doctor hopefully. "It's over? Did it go well?" Tyler nodded happily, but, when he looked down at the fluid in the syringe, his expression fell. Cerebrospinal fluid is definitely not supposed to look like the contents of the syringe. "Well, the procedure went off without a hitch, but the results aren't good at all."

  Shaymin now shared Tyler's unhappiness. "Well,... do you know what's wrong?" Tyler shook his head. "No, but I'm on the right track." His expression brightened slightly. "I wish I could thank you properly for your cooperation, but this stuff has a very short shelf life. I have to get it to the lab. "Well, how long-" was all Shaymin was able to get out before Tyler was running through the living room, clipboard and syringe in hand. Eleanor and Prudence had a similar conversation with him before he was out the door, and talking on his PokéGear. "Hello?... Yes; this is Dr. Miller... I'm en route, and I need access to the lab... Cerebrospinal fluid analysis from a patient with possible bacterial meningitis... No; no assistance will be necessary... About 20 minutes; I'm on foot... Yes, ma'am. Thank you... Goodbye."

  It seemed like an hour before Tyler reached the Pokémon Centre. Only when he was actually in the lab did he calm down a bit. It hadn't taken him too long; the fluid sample was still viable. Neither he nor Shaymin had time for any fancy, time-consuming tests, though, so he simply went for the classic test of putting a small bit of the fluid, mixed with distilled water, between 2 small pieces of glass, and looking at it with a microscope. He, of course, knew what he was looking for, and he was certain he would find it. Unfortunately, he went through sample after sample of the spinal fluid and found no evidence of bacterial meningitis. "C'mon, damn you!" he growled. "This is bullshit! There has to be something in there; cerebrospinal fluid is supposed to be clear!" He looked back at a clock mounted on the wall behind him. He had been so engrossed in the testing that he had lost track of time. "I-I've... I've been at this for over an hour?!" He turned back to the microscope and resumed the analysis, frantically looking now for any abnormality. "I don't get this; I absolutely do not get this at all! Something is in this that is killing Shaymin, but, for the life of me, I can't - wait." Finally, something caught his eye. He adjusted the eyepiece to get a better look. What he saw horrified him, but it answered the million-dollar question. He had finally found what was making Shaymin sick. Unfortunately, it was far worse than he thought. "You had better be fucking kidding me."

  *Author's note*

  Next time, on Grey's Anatomy,... Ha! Just kidding! Seriously, though, wow. I can't believe I was able to do this. I had been caught up with F-List for so long, so I decided to stop screwing around and get back to work! The vast majority of this chapter was written in 3 days. I wanted it to be done by Thanksgiving, and it looks like I did that! I apologise for how boring this chapter was. I tried to add some sweet or funny moments, but it's time to get serious. I also apologise for how impersonal Tyler is towards Shaymin. She's becoming more of a patient to him than a love interest. I imagine there's at least one person out there who sees Tyler and Shaymin as the perfect couple. Thanks; I'm honoured. I didn't want them to be a serious couple, though. That's forbidden love. Anyway, this chapter was originally called "Solving The Puzzle," followed by "An Officer And A Gentle-min." I understand that some of the information given here is not entirely medically sound, but I know what I'm talking about; trust me. For one, in a lumbar puncture, the 2 pops Tyler mentioned occur when the needle passes through the ligamentum flavum and the dura mater. Secondly, Mallory-Weiss syndrome is caused mostly by strain from violent vomiting; not the acidic content of the vomit itself. I just had to change some stuff, to fit the patient, as well as the technology of the Pokémon world. Also, technically, by calling Tyler by a girl's name, Kevin referenced Scrubs, as well as Grey's Anatomy. In Scrubs, Dr. John Dorian is constantly called girl's names by Dr. Perry Cox. So, it looks like Tyler found the answer, but I need one from you now. Do you wanna see how this plays out, or should I end it here? Oh, and, thanks to Neptune's help, look forward to a bunch of pictures in the Gallery on Thanksgiving!

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