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Do you keep your perversion a secret?


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To your family? To your friends?

I don't. Then again, I hate my family and my friends don't give a shit. Either way, I don't think you should. Sure, your family may disown you and your current friends may expel you from their group, but that will give you the opportunity to meet the right friends. Not necessarily friends that share this particular interest, but ones that will be cool with it.

"Oh, him? That's Dave. He likes big asses, that scamp."

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I tend to keep myself to myself either way, to be honest.
Though the majority of people that I spend the majority of my time with are perverts too, so it's never been an issue. xD
Even if it were an issue, ED is a great outlet. So understanding friends in real life or not isn't a problem, since I have understanding friends here.

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  • 3 weeks later...
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On 23/09/2016 at 18:30, captainbuttass said:

To your family? To your friends?

I don't. Then again, I hate my family and my friends don't give a shit. Either way, I don't think you should. Sure, your family may disown you and your current friends may expel you from their group, but that will give you the opportunity to meet the right friends. Not necessarily friends that share this particular interest, but ones that will be cool with it.

"Oh, him? That's Dave. He likes big asses, that scamp."

Not really sure. My dad knows about this site and no doubt hes seen some stuff here. I think for me its more of the right time and the right place. I am open with my friends although I am not that open, and I have different standards for people I have never seen face to face over those that I have met with and spoken to in real life.

As for ostracisation from a group of friends that's already happened to me back in 2010; and then the rest of them about a year or two later... l because of either other issues that I had with them and they had with me.

I have no desire to make friends with them again anytime soon though... 

I think the quality of a friend outweighs the quantity. But then again, I have never been outrageously popular per se. 

Edited by Wolfie
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  • 5 months later...

I'm a big-time introvert, so I have only a few friends.  I also am estranged from my family, much like three bean pizza, I really don't get along with any of those ratfuckers.  I had one family member, my sister, who cyberstalked me after finding out my PSN name was the same handle I used on a 'cannabis' message board and went and told my family a bunch of stuff about what I was posting and made me out to be 'Walter White of the Weed World.'  Um, I wasn't growing/selling, I was using it for medical reasons (anxiety, chronic back pain) but because of that I trust nobody in my family.

I had one friend that I bonded over our shared fetishes, he introduced me to the idea of "My Kink is OK, Your Kink is OK" so it was easier to talk to someone that wasn't going to judge me when I mentioned how I was interested in finding a women that was into pegging.  But over the years we started drifting apart and then he moved and we've just lost touch.  As an introvert it takes me a lot of energy to really keep friendships like that going and we just found that we had less in common than we thought and talking about your sexual 'perversions' just takes you so far.

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  • 7 months later...

Outside, I keep it a secret as well or at least try to... >3 <

Other than that, I am simple guy with..umm.needs.. but I guess I am not the only one here which is a relief. =)

But here, that would depend on my partner and her taste. I don't want to cause trouble with my needs and prefer to divide our selves just to take a deep breath.. 

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  • 2 weeks later...

"I don't think that I've ever hid my perversion. I've always been the projecting type, just throwing thing out there like crazy. Sure, I make my friends uncomfortable sometimes, but they know that I'm joking and that I'll never actually make any moves on them. My parents, on the other hand, know absolutely nothing"

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  • 2 years later...
On 14/04/2018 at 21:59, Rachel Chan said:

Yessu! Reason? *points at my country flag* XD

We are taught to behave and suppressing our desire here XD

 

On 14/04/2018 at 21:59, Rachel Chan said:

Yessu! Reason? *points at my country flag* XD

We are taught to behave and suppressing our desire here XD

What country is that?

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I do not hide it, and am often in fact the one who will engage more conservative (in the personal rather than strictly political sense) friends and family about the realities of certain fetishes and subcultures versus their popular perception (50 sbades of gray caused a lot of such discussions through its frankly juvenile depiction of BDSM culture).

but at the same time I have very little in the way of truly controversial tastes. My personal links really basically come down to loving the expressions and displays of pleasure I can bring out of my partner, and then a personal weakness for girls who like to moan 'daddy~'. In other words, little more than a half step to the right of vanilla as far as contemporary western sensibilities are concerned. I certainly don't have the same personal stake in a conversation as, say, Kanna who needs to dance around the pathos mine field that is our species' relation to its history of pedo-, hebe-, and ephebophilia. Topics that once broached make logical and judgement-free discussion with all but a sliver of humanity an impossibility.

Now, if I listed off all the things I have roleplayed, especially in pursuit of that first kink of mine I mentioned, I'd probably get a much similar reaction from several people, but that kind of discussion by its nature would be limited to people with at least a basic understanding of what RP even is (let alone the existence of ERP), so there is really no reason to bring it up in daily or even monthly conversation.

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Even though I can be pretty open about my sexuality with my friends (I don't have so many real-life kinks. I guess the wildest that it goes is a bit of choking and being called a good girl) and parts of my family (I don't have such a big family and basically there would just be one or two people with whom this topic could be talked about), I would not tell anybody about the roleplays. I guess it is something that needs to be approached slowly and covers sensitive topics, such as ageplay and non-con. To really talk about it, I guess it would need time for the other person to make their own experiences in this field to have a more.. distanced view on those topics. I mean I find it thrilling in roleplays, but in real life those things would be a big no-go. So to sum it up ot is just something I'd rather keep to myself and share it with those, that share it with me (you guys!).

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Hmmm, well. I guess I do kind of keep my perversions a secret. And I don't mean to say that as if I don't trust my family or friends to understand (at least not right away anyways). But, it's more like. . . Why should I talk to them about it? And because I don't want to have this talk to them about it. It kind of propels me to be a bit secretive. I think they're more worried about the fact that the sites I'm visiting for porn are infecting my computer with viruses and stuff so crims can siphon my information. 

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  • 5 months later...

Over the years, I've kept a number of things hidden, starting with waiting until age 16 to come out of the closet and confess to my parents that I'm a lesbian....my younger sister was aware but she kept my secret until I finally gathered up the nerve to tell my parents myself.  

For a long time my wife and I discussed  if we should let my family know of our unique relationship.  One thing to shatter their dreams of their darling daughter married to a worthy male, quite another to have them discover I'm an owned submissive on the end of a leash!

Very few of our most trusted friends know about us and until mores change I doubt the time will come in the near future when I'll appear at my parent's home leashed and collared....

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Well, I've told my college friends that I write erotica, and my parents know that I roleplay... something (my mom might know that I do ERP because she's peeked at my screen plenty of times, but I'm not certain about that). As for my kinks - I'm not sure people know which ones I have, but I've become a sort of "kink encyclopedia" for people from my Uni in a group that I talk with. The reveal was kind of a surprise to me as well, because during a game of Quiplash and/or Cards Against Humanity, I began using various kinks to get a win. I also often described the theoretical appeals of various kinks with vigour, so I may have given people the thought that my kinks are a bit more extreme than they really are. I think.

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