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*Dear Diary: A Pokémon Crystal Custom Nuzlocke Experience* *For this Nuzlocke, I decided to put my own twist on it. I have changed only 2 things. I am allowed to choose 1 Pokémon per route, etc, to catch. Fail to capture it, and I must not attempt to capture any non-shiny or non-Legendary there. I'm allowing myself to reset for genders, etc.* *This copy of Pokémon Crystal is a North American version, downloaded from the Nintendo eShop and played on an original model 3DS console. A duplication glitch will be used for one-off Pokémon, but this will not effect gameplay. Clones will remain boxed until the Elite 4 are defeated.* Dear Diary, My name is Tyler. Tyler Miller. Formerly Dr. Miller, but let's not talk about that. In an effort to find inspiration, as well as knowledge, I have left Goldenrod City for New Bark Town. The Johto region is beautiful, and I want to explore it. Through this diary, I'll chronicle my journey through Johto with the Pokémon I will call my friends. This is our story. Arriving in New Bark Town in the morning, Professor Elm put me to work immediately. A friend of his had called on him to help with a discovery. But, being busy with research, he couldn't go himself. So he sent me over in his stead. In exchange, he gave me a choice of my first partner for this adventure. Ever since I treated a very sick Chikorita, I've wanted a Chikorita of my own. My choice was obvious. Being that my Chikorita is female, I named her Angelica, after a type of flower called an Angel's Trumpet. I'll likely see some on my journey, but I'll have to be careful around them; they're poisonous. Of course, Angelica and I had to fight off wild Pokémon on our way. Our destination was a house north of Cherrygrove City. A bit of a walk, but nothing compared to the trek I'll be taking later. I almost feel jealous of little Angelica; she gets to ride along in her Poké Ball. Anyway, we stopped for a bite to eat before continuing on. Route 30 was more of the same; dealing with attacks from wild Pokémon. The only difference is that the Sentret and Rattata of Route 29 were replaced with Caterpie, and a Weedle or 2. But we made it. The man Elm sent me to see wouldn't tell me his name; only that he was known as Mr. Pokémon. Fair enough. The discovery he made was a Pokémon egg. Apparently, it had appeared at the Day Care Centre near Goldenrod City, secluded from any couples who may have produced it. I was shocked not only by that, but by the fact that this "Mr. Pokémon" had company! Professor Oak, from Pallet Town in Kanto, was looking into the egg too, but, pardon the pun, he just couldn't crack it. With neither of them able to solve this mystery, I was given the egg to take to Professor Elm. And, from Professor Oak, I got a Pokédex! I'll have to remember to check it on a regular basis. So, I left Mr. Pokémon's house. And that's when shit hit the fan. I had only just set foot outside when my PokéGear went off. Probably Professor Elm, wondering where Angelica and I were. Or so I thought. I was half right; it was Elm. But he was understandably not too concerned with us. The lab in New Bark Town was... Well, Elm wouldn't say what happened. But he wanted us back ASAP, so we started our return trip. On our way back, we were stopped by a trainer. An angry young man, tone of voice bitter as unsweetened tea. His hair, were it any colour but blood red, I'd be envious of. I don't much like redheads. Anyway, this kid challenged us out of the blue. Thankfully, he wielded just a low-level Cyndaquil; Angelica and I subdued him. He predictably spat insults at us, then ran off. I thought he was a real dick, frankly. Turns out, I didn't know the half of it. We returned to the lab, only to find it in disarray. Somebody had broken in while I was running my errand! In fact, an officer was there, questioning the professor. Apparently, nobody was hurt, and nothing was damaged. But a Pokémon was taken. A Cyndaquil. I had just battled a Cyndaquil user! I offered that information to the officer, but I couldn't for the life of me remember the trainer's name! I remembered his appearance, though, which was helpful. After the officer left, I completed my errand and gave Elm the mysterious egg. In the midst of thanking me, he noticed my Pokédex. I guess he reasoned that, if Professor Oak could trust me, so could he, because he gave me a suggestion. The suggestion to tun this journey into a mission. A mission to collect the badges from Johto's Pokémon Gyms. Well, I wasn't planning on it, but I guess I should at least try it, if Professor Elm believes in me. I accepted. To get me started, he had one of his aides give me a set of Pokéballs. Happily taking them, I walked out the door. My journey was beginning. Going back through Route 29, I was glad I packed sunscreen for my trip. Angelica didn't need to protect herself from the sunlight; she uses it for energy. But I'll have to remember to pick up some aloe gel or lotion. Grass types like that stuff, and it'll help keep her coat shiny, and her head leaf healthy. But I can't complete this challenge with her alone. In short order, I found and captured a Sentret, who I named Brittany. I dunno why I chose that name; it just sounded right. After a small bit of training, we set out north of Cherrygrove, to Route 30. There, we found another new team member. A Caterpie. Knowing that Caterpie evolves into Butterfree, I named her Julia, after Julia Child, a famous chef known to use lots of butter in her dishes. The trainers along the route were not an issue for us. We tore through them, reaching Violet City just as the sun began to set. We decided to take a break there, and spend the night at the Pokémon Centre. All in all, a good, productive day. I just hope we can keep up this pace. *Pokédex* #152: Chikorita, the Leaf Pokémon Chikorita are loyal companions, and very affectionate towards their owners. During long stretches of inclement weather, these Pokémon may become lethargic, or even ill. When possible, they should be allowed time to lie down in direct sunlight. This keeps them healthy and happy. The leaf on their head is prehensile, and sensitive. #161: Sentret, the Scout Pokémon Sentret are capable of balancing on their tails to appear taller, as well as to obtain a better vantage point. Their bodies have a membrane that connects the forepaws with the hindpaws, and can stretch slightly. Upon spotting danger, Sentret will release an earsplitting cry to alert other members of their group. They can, however, be trained to curb this. #10: Caterpie, the Worm Pokémon A common sight in forests, these Pokémon release a harmless, but rotten stench from their antennae when threatened. Trainers who attend school are often told to keep these Pokémon in their Pokéballs. This Pokémon is a wonderful choice for beginners. *Author's note* This is inspired by the work of @NyxAvatar69. If they do not approve, I will promptly remove this. Pokémon Crystal is probably my favourite of the main series games. I've already completed this challenge in the Virtual Console releases of Gold and Silver. Generation II is by far my favourite Generation of Pokémon. Because this Nuzlocke has different rules to a normal one, I will call this a "Choicelocke." This is because, rather than having to catch the first Pokémon you see in each new area, this challenge allows you to choose one Pokémon in each area to catch. Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy.~

*Chapter Three: Finding Good Help* Faced, sure enough, with a padlock, Artemis took a deep breath. She reached behind herself and gripped the twig nesting in her vermilion tail. As she unsheathed it, sparks ran down its length. Even as she was holding the fully removed twig, the tip was alight with crimson flames. Embers broke off from the fire, only to fizzle out upon hitting the wet grass. "Wait!" "Well, now's a fine time to be giving warnings," Artemis teased, turning to face Bellossom, who had called out to her. "Collateral damage," Bellossom said. "The embers on the ground reminded me. Hold on just a minute." The maid bent down, and, with a sharp tug, broke off several blades of grass. "We want the lock to still work when we're done with it; right?" There was a collective nod as she stuffed the keyhole with the grass. "There. Now, the actual lock is safe; it won't melt and deform from the heat of your wand." Artemis shrugged, carefully pointing the tip of the twig at the top of the lock. The flames died out along most of the "wand," concentrating on the tip. "Alright; stand clear!~" With Bellossom and Pesky both out of the way, Artemis thrust the twig forward. From the tip shot a whip-like ray of flames. Despite her trepidation, it was a figurative bullseye. The flames cut through the metal bar, leaving the lock intact and the bar split cleanly in 2. "Nice shot!" Pesky cheered as Artemis quelled the flame by bringing a paw down over it. "Hush!" Artemis shout-whispered. "Wait until we're in the forest." With the lock broken, the gate opened easily. Pesky and Bellossom hurried in, while Artemis quickly got to work at welding the metal bar back together. When she rejoined the group, she was nursing a paw, holding it close. "Are you alright?" Bellossom asked, advancing gently on her. "Lemme see your paw." Artemis held it forward to reveal a patch of charred fur. With a figure like Goodra's, it was only natural that she turned some heads as she walked through the Goldenrod Department Store. And she stepped lightly. That she was filled out in all of the decidedly best places to be carrying extra weight still meant that she carried extra weight. Seeing her walk with any sort of grace was, in many ways, as striking as it would be to see Wigglytuff carrying herself in such a manner. She had almost finished shopping, and was looking through the list she brought with her. Written on in beautiful cursive, the paper she held was stained with her slime. "Hmm... Yes; this should be enough meat to keep the carnivores happy for quite some time." As she double-checked the shopping list, she found the paper suddenly wet. She was crying. Softly but surely. It finally seemed to hit her that what she was buying, only she and the other residents would partake in. Her master was gone. If he wasn't, the list would likely include his favourite foods. Goodra loved to spoil him. Another tear fell, and she took a sharp, shuddering breath inward. "I should be over it by now, but... I can't forget about you, sweetie. You wouldn't wanna see me like this; I know." She vigorously shook her head, as though she were trying to shake her sadness away. With a smile on her face to mask her true feelings, Goodra trudged on. Sylveon still fussed with her hair as she and Ruri stood outside the Pokémon Centre. "Sylvie, for Arceus' sake, your hair is fine!" Ruri insisted. Sylveon scoffed. "Of course it is, honey! Or it damn well had better be; I spend so much time on it. But fine isn't enough.~" Ruri, exasperated, shut her eyes tightly, likely in an effort to calm down, so she wouldn't lash out at her friend. By the time her eyes saw the world again, the duo was already inside the Pokémon Centre. All around, trainers and their Pokémon waited to be tended to. Sylveon approached the front desk. Before she could strike a bell that would alert staff to somebody waiting to check in, a nurse was already in front of her. "Hello, miss! Do you have an appointment?" "I don't," Sylveon admitted. The nurse turned to look back into the office behind her, at which point Sylveon gave a thumbs up to Ruri. She began to sniffle. It was a talent that was often unused, for fear that it would ruin any trust for her, but Sylveon had a very convincing fake cry. "I... I d-didn't have time to... I..." Ruri was stunned, but understood the thumbs up as a sign to play along. "It's alright. I'm sorry, miss. My friend here, miss..." She paused to look at the lady's nametag. "...Nurse Joy. My friend, she's a maid. I'm sure you could tell by her outfit." "Yes, I could," Nurse Joy replied. "Is she hurt? Or is she here on behalf of somebody else?" She offered Sylveon a tissue, which was politely refused. "S-Somebody else," Sylveon answered her, and, by this time, some of the trainers in the waiting room had taken notice, and were watching the situation unfold. "M-My master; he... He was hurt in the storm. Please; I'm a terrible cook. C-Can you spare any food?" There were enough plants in the flower shop to make a house for a Chikorita! Wigglytuff actually raised a sticky paw to slap herself, but lowered it when she remembered she was in public. "Of course there's a buncha plants here, you big dummy! What did you exp- Oh! Hello, ma'am.~" The older of 2 sisters who ran the shop was in front of her. Brown hair swept her shoulders, and her appropriately floral print dress reached her knees. "Hello yourself, miss," she responded kindly. "We haven't had many customers since the storm. What can I help you with?~" The politeness of the shop owner got the portly bunnygirl to smile. "I'm looking for berries. See, our garden was drowned by that same storm, and we have a lot of herbivores to feed. Do you have any in stock?" With a slightly sorrowful, understanding nod, the florist pointed fowards a corner with several terra cotta flower pots full of plants. "Do you want the plants, or just the berries themselves, dearie?" Wigglytuff looked towards the indicated spot, and felt a pang of nervousness. She was certainly gluttonous, but what she wasn't was impolite. The only member of the household, to her knowledge, that could cultivate a berry plant was Bellossom, and not only was she out helping Artemis and Pesky, but it would be a slap to the face to give her a berry plant and ask her to do all of the work. "J-Just the berries, please. I'm not picky; anything edible will do." Nodding again, the lady led her to a counter. Used to immediately putting money on a counter when walking into a candy store or a bakery, Wigglytuff did the same here. She had a small amount of money. Mostly coins, as her paper money had by and large been exchanged for sweets already. "Can I get anything for this, ma'am?" "How'd you hurt yourself?" Bellossom asked, eyes darting across the forest floor. "I slipped," Artemis replied. "My paw hit the padlock." Pesky rolled his eyes. "Damn. I hate to use this analogy, but when it rains, it pours." "Very funny," Artemis scolded him. Bellossom stepped away slightly to pick a large cyan berry from a nearby tree. "Hold out your paw." Artemis did as instructed, but, rather than handing over the berry, Bellossom took a bite of it. Pesky gasped. "Are you serious?! You can't just eat wild berries; you'll get poisoned!" Bellossom dismissed his concern by waving a hand in his direction. Ever polite, she swallowed before speaking. "It's a Rawst Berry. Perfectly safe to eat, though a bit of an acquired taste." With that, she revealed the remains of the fruit. "Here, Artemis." Before the burnt vulpine could react, Bellossom rubbed an exposed end of the berry onto the blackened area of her outstretched paw. The colour didn't improve, but the pain was quickly dulled. The group didn't have access to bandages, so the application of the healing berry was all that could be done. Through thick foliage, the group pressed on in near complete darkness. Artemis had several times offered to light her wand tip to help, but Bellossom's response was always quick and to the point. Even with the plant life wet from rain, lighting a fire was still a bad idea. It wasn't until the third time Artemis made this offer that a voice besides that of Pesky or Bellossom answered her. "Are you trying to start a brushfire?!" Pachirisu sat in the living room of the Delphox's abode. On her lap, warm from near constant use, was her radio. It was a special radio, capable of picking up broadcasts beyond the range of a normal Pokégear; previously, it was a belonging of her master, who gave it to her when he had his Pokégear updated with similar functionality. Even so, the only advantage the upgraded Pokégear offered was portability, since the radio was a clunky machine. Normally, Pachirisu kept it on her bedside table, so it could provide background noise while she slept. Now, though, she was listening intently to every word spoken by the inhuman voice coming from it. "There are unconfirmed reports of rare Pokémon seen near Ilex Forest. These Pokémon are not to be confronted until conditions improve. Severe weather is expected within the next few minutes, which will endanger the lives of trainers and their Pokémon." Severe weather? "Oh, no!" Cassie and Dragonair had already returned from fishing by this point, and Goodra and Wigglytuff were likely close behind. But Artemis, Pesky, and Bellossom were completely exposed to the elements. "Mistress!" Pachirisu called out. "Mistress!" The sound of footfalls cushioned by fur soon followed as Kianna entered the room. "What's wrong, Pachi?" "I-I just heard that a storm is coming. Pesky and the girls are gonna get caught in it, and we don't have a way to contact them and call them back here!" Kianna stood, taking this information in for a short time. As a mother, she couldn't help her concern. "Poor dears. I hope they get back soon." Concerned as she was, though, she was unable to get Pachirisu's meaning. "No, mistress," Pachirisu corrected her gently. "I have to go after them!" *Author's note* Yes, Pachirisu. Run outside, confident in the belief that a thunderstorm is coming. What could possibly go wrong? So, in this chapter, we learn a few things. Goodra is still sad about her master. Goodra and Wigglytuff are both A B S O L U T E U N I T S. In awe at the size of these lasses! Yeah; we already knew that. But I like reaffirming it. XD Sylveon can cry on command. Bellossom has decent survival skills. The ones who went near the forest were spotted; the report of "rare Pokémon" was about them. Pachirisu's radio is a hand-me-down. So, do you think you can tolerate a fourth chapter? Special thanks again to @SMFoxy, for allowing me use of his characters.

For any Pokemon fans on here: If you were a Gym Leader, what type would you specialize in? Who would your team be? And what would your badge be? I would most likely specialize in Dark types. My team would consist of an Absol, Zoroark, and Umbreon Upon my defeat, I would confer to the victor the Eclipse Badge Rematch team: Absol Zoroark Umbreon Houndoom Weavile Honchkrow

I still hate myself for choosing to do postgame. Also, like Episode 15, due to the nature of how this and all of Episode 15 are written, I'm posting them here instead of the same place as the other 14 episodes...because yeah. The run is finished so the remaining episodes will be released over time because I chose to do postgame. Everything after this is going back to the place I posted the first 14 episodes. A day had passed since Ruby aided the Ultra Recon Squad in stopping the rampaging Stakataka in Poni Grove. Luckily, any news of the incident was kept to a minimum, but it was likely due to the upcoming press conference at the Aether Paradise. Ever since the Necrozma incident at the Alter of the Moone, Ruby had been hearing people asking questions and wondering what had taken place. At least to Ruby, it didn't mean much since her duties as Champion had priority. Stepping out of her room early in the morning, she noticed her mom standing in front of the boxes that still hasn't unpacked. "All right! I've put it off long enough! Now that Ruby has become the Champion..." Ruby's mom said, turning around and looking down at her Meowth. 'Is she actually going to do something about those boxes?' Ruby wondered, deciding to keep quiet for the moment. "Meowth! This is it! We're really, definitely going to put away these boxes today!" she continued until the doorbell rang. "Oh, now who could that be?" she wondered only for someone to come running inside unannounced. "Sophocles? What are you doing here?" Ruby asked, making her way over to the door. "Ruby... I...I...You've got to..." Sophocles tried to say while he caught his breath. "What huge, random task likely involving unknown beings from another dimension do I have to do this time?" Ruby asked. "What are you talking about?" Sophocles questioned. "It's a long story..." Ruby mumbled. "Oh, are you one of Ruby's friends? I'm her mom. It's so nice to meet you!" Ruby's mom said, getting herself involved in the conversation. Sophocles jumped when he suddenly heard the voice of Ruby's mom, turning towards her. "Eeek! S-S-S-Sorrocles! I mean I'm sophorry! I mean I'm sorry! No, I mean I'm Sophocles! I'm a very sorry Sophocles!" Sophocles said. Ruby couldn't help but laugh a bit at this while Sopholcoes turned away. "Sorry... Let me just calm down a bit..." Sophocles said before turning around to face Ruby again. "I...I came because I need your help, Ruby..." Sophocles finally said. 'Here we go again," Ruby thought. "A bunch of strange guys appeared out of nowhere and...and they took over Festival Plaza!" Sophocles explained, but Ruby turned her head as if he had no idea what he was talking about. "You mean that weird place you showed me that one time?" Ruby asked. "I'll show you what I mean. Come on!" Sophocles said, grabbing Ruby's arm and taking her outside. He took out a device with two screens and pressed a few buttons. In a flash of light, Ruby and Sophocles were gone. They reappeared in a circular plaza with a number of shops and attractions with a strange red castle in the center with a bunch of Rs in a rainbow background on the monitors. "Is that supposed to look like that?" Ruby asked, pointing to the castle. "No, it isn't. The space here suddenly became all twisted and the programming of the Plaza was rewritten! That's why the castle looks so..." "Really weird?" Ruby asked. "You think so? It looks pretty menacing, like where a final boss would live... I think it looks kinda cool!" Sophocles said while Ruby let out a sigh. "Sophocles, this isn't a video game. Final bosses don't exist in reality," Ruby pointed out. "Still, they broke through my impenetrable security system, even if they did take advantage of a system malfunction. And they've taken complete control of Festival Plaza," Sophocles said. As Ruby listened to him talk, something occurred to her. She recalled hearing the voice in her head talk about a "twisted script" and things not sounding like they should, leading her to believe that the voice's sudden disappearance and the takeover of the Festival Plaza may be connected. "So, all we have to do is take down the guys behind this operation?" Ruby asked. "Yes, but be careful. These guys know what they're doing," Sophocles replied. "When has that ever stopped me?" Ruby said. "Then you'll help me take back Festival Plaza?" Sophocles asked. "Normally, I would say no because something tells me this place has some problems without the takeover. But this time, I'll do it," Ruby said. Sophocles let out a sigh of relief. "I'm glad that you're with me, Ruby. You're the Champion, after all! W-well... Let's go then..." Sophocles said, making his way towards the castle. 'If all this goes well, that voice in my head should come back, and maybe we can figure out why so many people have been wanting to challenge me lately,' Ruby thought, following Sophocles into the castle. When they got inside, a single man wearing a black suit and a hat was standing in the middle of the room. Hearing the approaching footsteps, he turned to face Ruby and Sophocles. Ruby stopped in her tracks when she saw the rainbow R on the front of his shirt. 'There's no way, right? That team was beaten by some guy years ago...' Ruby thought until he heard the man speak. "Hey, who are you?! Nobody should be able to enter Team Rocket's Castle!" the man questioned. "Team Rocket?! But that's impossible! Team Rocket was beaten years ago by someone named Red! It's old news in Kanto, but people still talk about it!" Ruby said, but as if her words didn't exist, Sophocles went on. "I-I have admin rights..." he tried to say until the man stomped his foot on the ground. "What?! How dare you try to confuse me with your nerdy language!" the man shouted before he turned around and took a moment to calm down. He cleared his throat and turned back towards Ruby and Sophocles. "No matter! Team Rocket's Castle is under our control! There's nothing you can do, whoever you are!" the man said, laughing while he walked away. Ruby clenched her fists and watched as the man walked off. "It seems like this group calls itself Team Rocket. They definitely don't seem like nice people..." Sophocles said. 'Of course they aren't. They steal Pokemon from people. They've even killed one before...' Ruby thought to herself. "I can't believe I've allowed Festival Plaza to be taken over by people like them..." Sophocles said, pacing around a bit while he put a hand to his chin. "Still... He said this castle was under their control. What exactly did he mean...?" he asked himself before returning to Ruby. "Give me a sec and I'll check," Sophocles said, taking out the same device he used to transport him and Ruby to the Festival Plaza. He pressed a few buttons, staring hard at the device. After a few moments, he put it away and turned his attention back to Ruby. "I've got it, Ruby... They have some sort of program lock that prevents us from using the Pokemon in our pary!" Sophocles said. "Well, that's just great. How do we clear these guys out of here, then?" Ruby asked, turning her attention towards a woman dressed the same way as the first man they saw, staring at the Battle Agency desk. 'Maybe...we don't have to use our own Pokemon,' Ruby wondered. "Do you have any ideas on how to get Team Rocket out of here, Ruby?" Sophocles asked. Ruby smiled a bit and turned back towards Sophocles. "How about the Battle Agency?" Ruby asked. "The Battle Agency...? Oh, of course! If we use the Battle Agency rules, we can use other people's Pokemon to battle! It doesn't matter if we can't use our own!" Sophocles replied, taking his device out once again. "Just a sec..." he said while he fiddled with his machine. "Using my admin rights to access the debug features... Rebooting the reception program..." Sophocles mumbled. In a flash of light, a female receptionist appeared behind the once empty Battle Agency desk. "I've made it so we can use the Battle Agency now, too... I wish there was more I could do...but I can't even access my full admin rights..." Sophocles said. "I can take care of it from here. Just leave it to me," Ruby said, making her way towards the Battle Agency desk. "I'll try and get back complete admin access while you keep them busy!" Sophocles said. Ruby turned and nodded in agreement before turning back around and walking to the desk. "Welcome to the Battle Agency!" the receptionist said with a smile. She gave Ruby the general rundown of how the Battle Agency worked before presenting her with three Poke Balls. Ruby looked up at the screen behind the receptionist to see what Pokemon were available. 'A Golisopod, and two Pokemon I've never seen before. Guzma has a Golisopod, and I doubt it let him down. I should pick that one,' Ruby thought, taking the first Poke Ball. Due to the glitches in the Festival Plaza, the Battle Agency could only provide Ruby with hologram trainers instead of actual people, but Ruby didn't really mind it. "Last but not least, before you begin, we request that you project the proper look of an agent at the Battle Agency. Good luck!" the receptionist said, handing Ruby a pair of sunglasses. "Um...ok. Thanks," Ruby said, putting on her sunglasses and stepping onto the transporter next to the desk. 'Here goes something," Ruby thought, closing her eyes as the receptionist hit a button on the bottom of her desk that activated the teleporter, sending Ruby to the stadium in an instant. When she opened her eyes, she found herself in a large, mostly light blue stadium surrounded by silhouettes in the stands. Two other trainers were already in the stadium and Ruby guessed it was the trainers she was supposed to be battling with. She made her way over to the two, and once she did, the referee in the center of the stadium spoke up. "Let me introduce the trainers who will battle along with you," she said, but the two other trainers only gave generic responses. Ruby shook her head while a voice rang out through the stadium. "Installing a battle program... Type "Team Rainbow Rocket." "Rainbow Rocket?" Ruby asked as a man who looked exactly like the one who spoke to her and Sophocles earlier appeared and made his way over to the center of the stadium. "Oh! Who are you? I'll beat you!" the man said. 'He's just as generic as these other two...' Ruby thought. "Let's do this! Raticate, go!" the grunt said, throwing out his first Pokemon, a Raticate. However, this Raticate was nothing like the Alolan variety was. It was as Ruby remembered seeing in Kanto, a normal Raticate. "So that's how they're going to do things, huh? Alright, Golisopod, let's show him what we're made of!" Ruby said, sending out the Golisopod she was borrowing. "Alright, let's give this guy a good first impression, Golisopod!" Ruby called out. The Golisopod went forward and stabbed the Raticate with it's arms, doing significant damage until it started eating the berry it was holding. "That was nothing. Raticate, use Super Fang!" the grunt said. The Raticate's teeth began to glow white as it ran towards Golisopod and bit down hard on it's arm. Golisopod shook it's arm to get the Raticate off before running off behind Ruby, almost as if it was using her as a shield. "Oh right, Guzma's Golisopod did this too. Well, that's fantastic. Return for now," Ruby mumbled, returning the Golisopod to it's Poke Ball and turning towards the two generic trainers waiting for their chance. "So, who wants to go now?" Ruby asked. The sunglasses wearing boy stepped forward with his Poke Ball, sending out a Passimian. 'They may not talk much, but maybe they can actually do something,' Ruby thought. "It doesn't matter at all. Raticate, use another Super Fang!" the grunt said. Like before, the Raticate ran towards the Passimian and bit on it with it's fangs as hard as it could. As the Raticate was trying to return to it's trainer, the Passimian swung it's arm into the Raticate and threw it onto the ground. The impact with the ground was enough to make the Raticate faint. "Not bad, generic guy," Ruby said. While the boy didn't say anything, the Rainbow Rocket grunt was not happy. "You got lucky, kid. My next Pokemon won't be as easy to take down. Go, Golbat!" the grunt said, sending out his next Pokemon. "This one could be trouble," Ruby quietly said. "Golbat, use Screech!" the grunt ordered. The Golbat let out a loud, piercing noise that forced Ruby, the other trainers, and even the Passimian to block their ears. In an attempt to stop the noise, Passimian threw an Iron Ball it had with it at the Golbat. The attack was enough to knock Golbat out of the sky, but not enough to make it faint. At the very least, it had stopped making the noise. "You're getting on my nerves! Golbat, use Toxic!" the grunt said. The Golbat fired off a stream of purple liquid from it's mouth, poisoning the Passimian when it landed on it. The Passimian ran at the Golbat, despite being weakened by the poison, grabbing the bat Pokemon by it's legs and jumping into the air. It swung around in the air and threw the Golbat to the ground. Like the Raticate, it wasn't able to take the impact of the attack and fainted. "Alright, one more to go," Ruby said. "I'm not going to let you win! Arbok, go!" the grunt shouted, sending out his final Pokemon. Ruby turned his attention to the other girl standing next to her. "Hey, you're up," Ruby said. The girl gave a simple nod while the generic boy returned his Passimian. She stepped forward and threw out a Clawitzer. "Arbok, go for a Bite attack!" the grunt ordered. The Arbok charged at the Clawitzer and bit down on it's big claw with it's mouth. The Clawitzer shook the Arbok off and it slithered on back to it's trainer. "Go for another Bite, Arbok!" the grunt said. Like before, the Arbok charged at the Clawitzer and bit into it again. As the Arbok started going back to it's trainer, streams of brown water began to pour out of Clawitzer's claw, and the Pokemon fired the water out like a cannon at the Arbok. "Well...that's something you don't see every day," Ruby said mostly to herself. "No! I won't lose this! Arbok, use Wrap!" the grunt said. The Arbok slithered over and tried to wrap itself around Clawitzer's body, but mostly only managed to get around the Pokemon's large claw. The Clawitzer slowly tried to open it's claw, hitting the Arbok with another blast of water. The blast forced Arbok off of it and back towards it's trainer, causing the snake to slam right into the Rainbow Rocket grunt. A few moments passed and Ruby, along with the Rainbow Rocket grunt, were teleported out of the stadium and back to the Festival Plaza proper. "So, how about that?" Ruby said, crossing her arms with a smile on her face. "Impossible! This kid...defeated me?!" the Rainbow Rocket grunt questioned before stomping his foot on the ground. "That's unfair! You shouldn't be able to battle so effectively with other people's Pokemon!" the grunt added. He shook his head and pointed at Ruby and Sophocles, who had joined Ruby shortly after her return. "Bah... Get 'em, guys!" the man said. Several more Rainbow Rocket grunts who were standing around walked over, leaving Ruby and Sophocles surrounded. "We can't let you take back Team Rocket's Castle. The boss's plans depend on it!" the man said. "The boss?" Ruby asked. "Just in time... Full system restore!" Sophocles said. In a flash of light, several of the Festival Plaza workers had reappeared. Sophocles continued playing with his device in order to get the Rainbow Rocket grunts out of the Festival Plaza. "Target set to Team Rocket... Executing kick from Festival Plaza!" Sophocles added, pressing one more button. In moments, several of the Rainbow Rocket grunts began to dissapear. The first man, who seemed to be leading the group, made one final charge at Ruby before he also vanished. "That was a bit too close for comfort," Ruby said. "Whew... That was close. ...Thanks for your help, Ruby! You kept them busy just long enough for me to get back full admin access... I've used that access to lock Team Rocket from the Festival Plaza forever! I also restored all the features and everything to normal, too," Sophocles explained. "Actually, Sophocles, can you try to fix one more thing for me?" Ruby asked. "What other thing do you want me to fix? Sophocles asked. Ruby took a deep breath and told Sophocles everything that she knew about the voice in her head that guided her along her island challenge and how it had suddenly vanished after she had become the Champion. Hearing herself, she thought that the whole thing actually sounded a little crazy, but at the same time, she knew that the whole thing was real. "I'm telling you that it's all true. If it wasn't for that voice, I don't think I'd even be here right now," Ruby said, watching as Sophocles started walking away from her as if her entire story was nothing but crazy talk. Ruby sighed and walked back inside the castle, taking a seat in a nearby chair. 'I just want them to come back. Without the voice guiding me along, I don't think I ever would've become the champion of Alola. If they were here, maybe we could figure out what's going on with these Ultra Beasts and these Team Rainbow Rocket people. All I want is for things to go back to how they were before,' Ruby thought, looking up at the ceiling. For a few moments, she didn't hear anything at all. Deep down, she had hoped for something to happen, but when those hopes were proven to be a waste of time, Ruby shook her head and stood up. As she started walking towards the castle's exit, a faint, but familiar voice rang out. Ruby stopped and looked around, a part of her thinking she was finally losing it. "I must finally be hearing things," Ruby said until she heard the voice again, a bit clearer than before. She looked around once again just to make sure she wasn't dreaming. 'Is this really possible? How can I hear the voice again so suddenly? Is this some kind of sign or something?' Ruby wondered while she walked around a bit. She shook her head, a part of thinking the reason didn't really matter much. She knew that she could trust the voice to guide her along the way and hopefully help her figure out what was going on. So then I said "well, Diamond and Pearl suck because the games are ultra slow, and Platinum is the only thing saving Sinnoh from being on par with Kalos or Alola in terms of..." Um...Hi? What the heck is this? What's going on here. I finally have access to the Ultra Moon stuff and now Sophocles is thanking me for something and giving me an Eject Button. What even happened? Ever since Episode 14 ended, I've been locked out of my Ultra Moon project. I can only guess this was the work of the same person who's been breaking my script. Well, no worries, it's over now. Now we can start with Episode 15. Wait, what? What do you mean there's already an Episode 15? I never wrote an Episode 15. And who even titled this episode? I thought Team Rocket was censored...and wait, what? Is the script fixed? That's convenient. How did that even happen? This totally has something to do with the weird things going on since the whole Masked Royal case. Well...alright then. I guess we're back in business. I honestly had no intention of doing postgame since there's not even much to do in postgame, but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. Instead, let's talk about what goes down next here in the Gen 7 postgame. According to the game, what comes next takes place straight away after the Rainbow Rocket incident at the Festival Plaza. I won't argue with it, but to be honest, the whole thing just seems a little...eh. Anyway, how about we get on with the show. But first...who named the Type: Null you get without a choice after Gladion the Edgelord? It's also Modest, so it sucks too since Type: Null and Silvally learn almost no special attacks at all, or at least learn any worth using. I'll have to box it later. I'm beating around the bush, now, though. After the whole Festival Plaza fiasco, I guess instead of taking care of those boxes, she taught her Meowth how to turn on the TV. Pro tip, don't teach your pets to turn on electronics. After they walk away, we get to see a press conference from the Aether Paradise regarding the clouds that appeared over Poni Island, but we already know it was the whole Necrozma thing. Lusamine, who is actually crazy and not a good person at all, kinda just drops the bomb and says it was Necrozma's fault. I mean, we still get our praise and...Faba walks away. Ok, I didn't like him anyway. Moving on, as Lusamine rambles on, an Ultra Wormhole opens up and suddenly Rainbow Rocket guy tackles the cameraman. Apparently, there's chaos, but let's be real here, not much is actually going on because Lusamine went after a mysterious man. And so, the Rainbow Rocket Episode begins, postgame content added into Pokemon Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon, and since we're here, we may as well nuzlocke it. I know in the earlier stages of this run, I was on the fence about doing postgame, but at this point, I might as well do it. It gives me more reasons to complain about these games and how...lackluster they are in my opinion. So...Ultra Wormholes are still a thing, and after that little moment, there's someone at the door again. Because in this universe, people don't lock their doors, Lillie comes barging in, but at least she's nice about it...unlike a certain shirtless murderer I will be talking about briefly in the next episode. Anyway, turns out she saw the Ultra Wormhole problem at Aether Paradise, and she just tells us that she's going to see what's going on. I mean, we could always go and see what's up, but..we're not going to do that. Now, here's the thing. We aren't being forced to go to Aether Paradise. We can go there and handle business there anytime we want, so here's what we're gonna go. Some new areas have been unlocked now that we're conqueror of Alola, and that means encounters. That and I want to prove that these games lack in content. I mean, at the time of writing this, Let's Go Pikachu and Eevee have just released and those games have disappointingly small amounts of postgame content even though in my honest opinion, the entire game is a disappointment. We're not here to talk about those games, though. Next time, we will be doing everything we can except the Rainbow Rocket stuff. So, until next time. And no, I'm not catching the Tapus. They're sort of in the same class as the Lake Trio, but better, and even though I will be bending rules soon for certain reasons, I am marking the Tapus in the same class as legendaries like Zygarde and Necrozma. So yeah, we're not breaking the postgame extremely hard. Anyway, with that out of the way, until the next episode. Also, the Rainbow Rocket grunt theme is fantastic and you'll be doing yourself a favor by listening to it.

When you were younger; did you collect Pokémon Cards? Chances are if you were born in the late 80s/early 90s you probably did, I know I certainly did and I was pretty efficient at doing so, owning at least 6,000 or 7,000 Pokémon Cards by the time it went out of style, but I handled many, many more despite the fact that I only ever purchased 2 booster packs at the very beginning. I am going to start this topic by sharing some of my memories of Pokémon Cards and I really hope that you also share your memories too; please leave a comment and tell me what your fondest or darkest memories of the whole thing was for you. There’s a lot of stories associated with these little cards in my history, I became quite astute in Pokémon card economics for my area where I’d see a hole in the ‘Market’ as it were and where I’d go out and ‘buy’ those cards cheap by trading outside of my area (Like around Darbyshire, Oxfordshire, Staffordshire, Wiltshire, Devonshire, Denbighshire and so on) depending on my travels; as I travelled a lot with family. I’d also quite often bulk up my deck by picking up Pokémon cards that were discarded by people who had way too many of that card and didn’t want them, it was very common in my primary school for students to dump cards and just toss them to the ground when they didn’t want them, or for students to drop the cards by accident, and for them to get blown around in the wind. I never got a shiny from anything like that, but I did get some neat cards, and I was willing to pick them up. As deck bulkers. Of course I’d bring those acquisitions home and start bidding wars with groups of other people who wanted them to maximise my profits (In cards) which explains pretty much how I got hold of my ‘vast fortune’ of Pokémon cards. I didn’t need to resort to ‘crime’; IE - Stealing Cards, Fraud or anything like that because I was pretty damn successful at it. My favourite trick was to trade one card for multiple cards; and once (my best deal ever!) when I brought back an illusive shiny Charizard (Which I traded a Venusaur and Chansey shinies to someone who had three Charizards), I got it purely to trade with someone in my area who was willing to part with half of their collection (Including several shiny cards - which included a Venusaur and Chansey!) Why? Because both of the people I was dealing with were collectors - respectable collectors that were only ever interested in completing the sets that they had; Base, Jungle, Fossil and Team Rocket's “Dark” cards. I was less interested in ‘buying’ from ordinary people and more interested in selling to them instead, and ‘buying’ from collectors who had no interest in having multiple copies of the same card. By the end of it; I had 4 Charizards. One in great - mint condition; that was for my private collection and was kept safe in a photo frame that I had in my bedroom; it was the pride of my collection and I very rarely took it out (Except for one incident), and I had three that were in decreasing conditions; one of them was barely a card anymore as the previous owner took it to bed with them and cuddled it causing it to be severely damaged and even the front was splitting from the back and there was no amount of repair work that could fix it; and surprise, surprise no one wanted it. Did I ever have a deal that went bad? Well to be honest, some of my deals felt like a drug deal. I’d have protection, the other side would have protection (In numbers of people) and we’d trade by putting one card on one table and the other side putting their cards on another table before crossing over to collect each other’s cards and leaving. I am and always have been a tall bloke; I am currently around six foot six (6’ 6”) and I was quite tall for my age when I was younger; and extremely strong for my age too. I tried to avoid deals that had to go to certain lengths but when you’re trying to run a ‘Pokémon Card Empire’ in your local area, sometimes you needed to make fantastic trades from people with bad reputations, something I thought I could mitigate with ‘Protection’. One time I remember distinctly that I had a knife pulled on me (I was ~12 years old at the time)... Needless to say my reputation for people who fuck me around is as infamous as it is today. I become extremely unpredictable. Very quickly the guy who pulled the knife, lost control over me, I stared at him blankly and told him to put it down before he poked someone's eye out with it, or I’d ramn it up his arse. He laughed thinking that he had the upper hand, but then I just kind of lunged for him, grabbing his wrist with one hand and his throat with my other hand, knocking him onto the floor. I don’t remember too much of what happened during the struggle - this kid was around the same age I was, and he was holding me at knife point (With one of those red covered swiss army knives, with a tiny blade) and there we were fighting each other over fucking cards. I realised this when I had him to the floor, his own knife to his own neck below my hand; telling him to just let it go. He didn’t want to; and I could see it in his eyes. I told him ‘If you don’t drop it, then I’m going to push it in. If you let go; I can’t do that. Please let go.’ He eventually dropped it and I told him “Look at us. We’re going to kill each other over Pokémon cards. For fuck sake man.”... The above story is absolutely true in that it was a dream. It's a particularly nasty dream that I remember to this day because of the effect it had on me. I woke up afterwards and reassessed what my (I guess you could call it) subconscious was telling me. I kind of saw that one of these days these deals with bad people is going to backfire, like it did in my dream, and I kind of stopped trading with bad people. This was brought about by the amount of people who were getting beaten up for the Pokémon cards, it was so bad that I remember it even being on the news at one point too. A young kid at the end of my street was left needing stitches because some other kids beat him up for his cards. I have a story that I will share, that actually happened in that it happened in real life, not in a dream or nightmare, but real. Whether you believe it or not is up to you. I was in a Pokémon card battle with a school bully in Primary School who when he’d win against people he’d take their Pokémon cards, he’d entice them with, “If you win, you can have all my cards. If I win you have to give me all of your cards.” He had advertised it the previous week, that he was doing it on the following Monday, and I knew exactly what was going to happen. (Spoiler alert: It did happen). It was the one time I risked my good Charizard; because I knew I was going to be in a position where I was going to be winning back the cards that everyone lost. He played fair and reasonable in each battle, having done about eight when I decided to stop this and challenge him, after watching his strategy. Needless to say, as soon as I started evolving my Charmeleons on the bench into Charizards, he started sweating. When I won... He didn’t play fair. When he lost he didn’t live up to his end of the deal which I fully expected; I told him to the effect of; “I don’t want your cards; I just want the cards that you’ve taken from people. If you want to walk away from this with your own cards then do I am telling you. If you don’t want to walk away with your cards then carry on doing what you’re doing.” You’d think he’d chose the former option, but no, he chose the latter. After securing my cards which was easy for me because I only brought my fighting deck where as he had all of his cards there. I decked the ten tonnes of shit out of him, and took all the cards including his own; just as I promised, put them in my bag… Although I had to be careful where I was putting them, because my bag had a hole in the bottom of it, so I put them within this kind of stiched on meshed compartment in the bag that would hold them all. Then I got the fuck off School Premises, and took my stash home because I knew he’d go straight to a teacher and blab. I snuck into my home, and put the cards somewhere safe, and then I also made sure to have a new deck of cards, putting my fighting cards away and kept the other cards safe. The new deck of cards I had was full of my lowest quality cards that was mainly energy cards and trainers and I went back with them. When I came back, I hid behind one of the mobile buildings between a hedge and the building and waited for a teacher to find me. Why? Because that was my alibi. I didn’t “Leave the School.” I was hiding all along. I sat there and started planning every possible outcome I could think of to try and keep my story credible. The headmaster eventually found me and ordered me to get to his office where I found the fellow classmate I had beaten the shit out of nursing his wounds and forming bruises, and I just smirked at him… Like a fucking nutcase. When the headmaster wanted to get to the bottom of it; I decided because at this point I had nothing to lose to be almost completely honest with him. The only thing I lied about was the going home bit - as that would destroy my insurance. I told him that he was battling people for their Pokémon cards; and when they lost they had to hand over all of their cards or he’d beat them up. The headmaster said “Well then they knew what they were getting themselves into, not that, that’s okay. But that’s their fault. They could have said no to the battle in the first place.” So I said “we had the same deal”, I was the last to do it, and the deal was that if I lost I had to hand over all my cards or else I’d be beaten up. If he lost he’d have to hand over all of his Pokémon cards. He lost and refused to hand over his cards and all the cards that he won off of the fellow students. So I beat him up. The headmaster didn’t like that, and started pinning the whole thing on me; I repeated back to him “Well he knew what he was getting himself into, not that it’s okay, but he could have said no to the battle in the first place.” But of course he tried to twist and turn it, he then asked “What did you do after that?” To which I said “I ran from the playground and hid behind the classroom where you found me.” The headteacher then did exactly what I thought he was going to do. He told me to give him all of the cards I took from the student. (Give to the head teacher that is, not the student) to which I feigned resistance - after all if I make it look like I was all too willing to, I was concerned that it was going to look too easy. After several threats of expulsion I handed over the cards and said “That’s all of them.” Which the student said it wasn’t even a quarter of them. I told him “It’s all of them.” This would be the second lie I told. The head teacher then forced me to empty my bag and pockets, and even sent the receptionist out to go look for the cards around where I was found. Because of course he believed the bully over me. (And people wonder why I was such a little fucking shit back then?) When the receptionist came back and said that she couldn’t find anything the head teacher asked me “Where are the Pokémon cards?” For a moment I thought I was about to be found out, I thought my clever plan was falling apart right from underneath my feet, and I couldn’t understand how or why, because he was questioning everything. I told him and lied again, “That IS all of them. I don’t have anymore!” My fatal flaw in my plan had become obvious when my head teacher asked “So where are the cards that you won the battle with?” Damn it; why does my head teacher had to have children who’s explained how they worked to him! I had to come up with an excuse fast, and the first thing I could think of was “I mixed the cards up, they’re all there… Including mine.” It was the third lie I told, and I only planned to tell one lie… I was already seeing that I was building a wall of lies… I had to stick to it - in hindsight like playing Poker. He then asked “So if he won a battle with eight pupils, and each battle deck has sixty cards including yours and his that’s at least six hundred cards. So where are they? This isn’t six hundred cards.” I fucked up. I fucked up bad. I hadn’t even taken that into consideration and I was kicking myself, that I hadn’t even thought about that, I had the perfect plan but I missed something so fucking obvious. I told him that on the way from the playground to the building I “dropped” the other cards somewhere on the path knowing that it was a high traffic area and that any student could just come along and pick them all up. It wasn’t uncommon to find Pokémon cards lying around when I was at school, either cards that someone chucked away because they were worthless or dropped by accident - as I said in the first paragraph. In fact most of the cards in this deck I gave the headmaster were what I called ‘dropsies’. I said that I couldn’t go back and pick them up because I didn’t want to get found by anyone as I only realised when I was hiding that they fell through the hole in my bag. I acted pissed off about it, to really sell that I was kicking myself for doing it. “You could have put them in the netted compartment in your bag.” My headteacher said to which I replied indignantly “Yeah I could of! Then I’d still have them. That’s all that’s left… I’m annoyed as it is, that I didn’t.” The lies were just compounding and compounding by this point, as I put on a look of annoyance, I was thinking about the lies I was spinning and working out if any of this was worth it or not, and what my narrative had changed from when I originally planned this out to what it was now, and focusing on trying to remember the key fake-facts of my narrative. The head teacher then told us both to show him where it happened and we all went outside to the playground where we showed him where the battle happened, we discussed a few things there, before he then told me to show me the route I took to when I went to go hide, which I did. I showed him my route making sure to tell him “I was running so my bag was bouncing up and down at this point…” And he was looking everywhere for cards, it just so happened that on the path we were walking by there was two Pokémon cards in the bush - a Grass Energy and an Electric Energy, and further down the pavement there was another card a Caterpie, I told him that “The cards must have dropped here and someone came along and picked them up.” But regardless we continued to the building I hid behind and said “I opened my bag and took out the only cards I had left. I swore loudly as I realised that I lost nearly all of them; and I put what I had left into my pocket because I didn’t want to lose anymore.” We then went back to his office where the bastard gave the son of a bitch bully the Pokémon cards he took off of me and said “Let that be a lesson to you to never battle people for their cards again. You got lucky in that you got some of your cards back. But if I hear you’re doing it again, I will suspend you.” I felt relieved because if he was buying into the narrative that they were his cards then my lies worked, or were convincing enough for him to believe it. He then looked at me and told me that I was suspended for two days and my father will be called to pick me up for fighting a student. To me; getting suspended was no big deal - it actually happened often in Primary School (In year 4 especially) and I took it as two days off to play computer games or study on my own terms, and my own things… Or watch Star Trek:TNG and Voyager. xD My father wasn’t happy - of course. And I couldn’t tell him the truth because I knew he’d take my cards from me, and go back to the school with all of my cards just to “teach me a lesson.” I was grounded, and when I went back to school I told the people who lost their cards to come to mine on Saturday when my grounding was let off. I also told them to come to me with a list of Pokémon cards that they knew that they had in their collections, and I’d happily hand them back over to them. My father was going to be out in the back garden mowing the lawn and my mother was going to be at work on that day. There was a couple of them that claimed that they had cards that weren’t in the collection I stashed away, and I told them to be honest with me, otherwise they’re getting absolutely none of their cards back. One of them tried to push their luck but when I told them “That’s it. I’m keeping your cards.” He fessed up and admitted that he lied. I got pretty much all of the cards back to their rightful owners; and was left with the bully’s original collection, and several others… Where I got the Chansey that I’d later use to trade to get a Charizard. And if the bully ever reads this; and knows exactly who I am from it because he’d know the story, then you’ll know exactly what this means; “I’m such a winner that even your mum thinks that you’re a loser.” (It was his favourite phrase). This was one of the factors that eventually lead to Pokémon Cards being banned from the school; what put it in the coffin was when teachers started confiscating cards and people would come back to the classroom when it was empty and steal them. I know this because I proved it could be done, when I stole some from the teachers drawer that she had confiscated from my friend, just so I could promptly return them to my friend, after school because the Teacher was going to confiscate them for “a month” - something I felt she wasn’t allowed to do. -- Again I don’t view that as stealing, I view that as taking back my friend’s property to give it back to my friend. I didn’t request or take payment. I did feel dirty about lying, but I didn’t want him to win, and because I stuck with it, I won. Was it stealing? No. I gave him every chance and opportunity to play fair. But he didn’t. I had to lie… I don’t feel right about it, but at the time I saw it as the ends justifies the means… At the end of the day I was doing a net good. But it was still lying… But then again, the headmaster DID give the cards back to the bully… So… What do you think? Was 10 year old me, in the right or the wrong? If you have an opinion on it let me know. I think ultimately I was in the wrong, but it’s a complicated a case; I think I used morally ambiguous means to do something good. To give the cards back to the people who lost them. I of course had legitimate and fun battles with people I won’t say exactly how far I got with that because it probably can be used to personally identify me. But my tactic was sound; have a deck that had two types of cards (Like if I picked Fire, I’d pick something that if the player used something strong against Fire, I’d pick something weak against them. I never battled with Psychic cards), I may have thrown a couple of Normal cards in there; that way I could keep my energy cards to a reasonable level and have room to put in some decent trainers. It was a strategy that really worked for me, and made deck building - something I spent HOURS, on my weekends doing. By the beginning of 2004, my collection was stored in my cupboard when we moved house, and that’s where it remained for years… Now as I’ve said openly a number of times; I was quite a little shit to my parents… Well, to everyone really. In 2006 I moved out of my parents when I was 16 and moved into a friends place until they made up some bullshit and threw me out. In 2007, 6 months after I came back home I moved out again this time permanently, except during this time one of my sisters (from what I have been told by third parties) stole all of my Pokémon cards and either sold them for weed or kept them to herself. They disappeared from the face of the planet, and I’ve never seen hide nor hair of them ever since. Which brings me to Shit I’ve bought from eBay. I was talking to @Neptune and @SMFoxy about the days where I had Pokémon cards, and obviously they were talking about the days when they had Pokémon Cards, back in September. The only one of us that was able to keep a hold of their Pokémon cards was @SMFoxy, which he mentioned here in his status later in October. Both Neptune and I however; had zero to our names; except for two or three that were given by Neptune’s sister (My sister in law) from promotional packs that contained two or three cards. We were in town doing some shopping one day and we just happened to stop by Game in the high street, where Neptune saw the Pokémon cards and sighed in lemeant as she wanted them, I asked her what was up, and she pointed them out and said that she remembered the days when you could walk into some cramped and shady looking comic book store and buy Booster Packs for a quid, or get it from a book shop but didn’t want to ask for it, or to buy something for herself to which I told her that’s fucking nonsense and then I asked her which one did she want. She picked it up and I took it from her and waltz right up to the counter and said “One of these please!” Whilst she stood there dumbfounded. The guy seemed to be hell bent in getting us a membership card, and offering pre-orders and god only knows what, to which I refused; I don’t shop at Game enough to warrant a card, and I don’t pre-order (Not since the X:Rebirth incident. No way. Never.) He then had no choice but to check it out, we paid £20 for it and told him to keep the change and GTFO’ed so fast it was unbelievable. Of course one of the booster packs in the tin contained a Mega Rayquaza EX, which she was very lucky to get and keeps it in a soft plastic sheet within a hard plastic wrapper because she considers it a high value card. Items: 1x Pokemon TCG: Evolution Celebration Tin - Leafeon GX (Neppy) 1x Pokemon TCG: Battle Heart Fall 2016 Tin - Pikachu EX (Me) 3x 100 Pokemon Cards Bundle RANDOM HOLO GUARANTEED -Mixed Lot Mint (Neppy gets 150, I got 150) 1x Pokemon Promo Dragonite Card Nr Mint (Me) 1x Pokemon: Arcanine - 18/108 - Rare - XY Evolutions (Neppy) 1x Joblot Bundle Of 825+ Official Pokemon Trading Cards (No Energy Cards) (Split 50/50) 1x Dragonair rare non holo pokemon card. Base Set 18/102. Wizards of the coast. (Me) 1x Ninetales 12/102 Holo/Shiny Pokemon Card, Base Set, Rare (Neppy) 2x 90 Pokemon Energy Cards Lot - 10 of Each Type Bundle Deal (Split 50/50) 3x 100 Pokemon Cards Bundle RANDOM HOLO GUARANTEED -Mixed Lot Mint (Neppy gets 150, I got 150) Price I paid: £19.99 (Game - Not eBay) £20.95 (Amazon - Not eBay) £27.97 - £5.01 (Buy 2 Get 1 Free) £3.49 £0.99 £37.49 £0.99 £3.24 £10.00 £27.97 - £5.01 (Buy 2 Get 1 Free) Shipping: £0.00 (Bought from Retail Shop) £0.00 (Free Shipping) £0.00 (Free Shipping) £0.00 (Free Shipping) £0.00 (Free Shipping) £0.00 (Free Shipping) £2.00 (Royal Mail 2nd Class Signed For) £2.00 (Royal Mail 2nd Class Signed For) £0.00 (Free Shipping) £0.00 (Free Shipping) Total Cost: £157.08 To see the full list of both of our collections you absolutely can; right here. It’s been alphabeticalised and sorted. In the Mixed Lots (Where we would get three packs of 100 cards) we often got a little more like 103 - 105 cards. So I’d say that particular person on eBay is pretty good; and all the cards that come from them appear to be 100% genuine. If you’re in the UK and you’re interested, in knowing who the seller is on eBay, send me an EcchiText and I’ll send you the seller’s name/listings. He usually sells them in 5’s, 10’s, 20’s, 30’s, 40’s, 50’s, 100’s. 200’s, 300’s, 400’s, 500’s and 1000’s, and at the time of writing has a buy 2 get 1 free deal (You might indeed be able to find him with that information on its own.) I can at least say that the things we’ve purchased from him were legit, and pristine. Very professional. If you play TCG Online; I think he also sells codes. The 850 random card lot we got which was mainly commons and uncommons, there were hardly any rares in there, and if I recall - no holos. It was a bit of a bullshit buy to be honest, but the purposes of getting it was to pretty much bulk out the collection. Also I’m not going to complain 850 cards for under £40 is not bad at all, in fact I actually still left positive feedback, because there was nothing in there that wasn’t advertised, and there was nothing that was advertised but not in there. It seemed to be a one off sale, so this seller doesn’t regularly sell them. With that aside; I will show you some pictures and show you some statistics of the cards we have. Here are some pictures of my cards, with a sneak peek of what’s to come in the next part of Shit I’ve Bought from eBay… And here are Neptune’s Cards Graphs The following graphs cover the following data: Amount of Cards in Each Set Rarity of Cards Date Obtained Card Types Pokémon Types Holographic Count There are somethings that I feel I should point out before I start this; I am well aware that we have labeled a few things that are not canon in the Trading Card Games; for example what we call ‘Normal’ is what most would call ‘Colourless’, what we call ‘Steel’ is what most would call ‘Metal’, ‘Electric’ - ‘Lightning’ and so on. I know some of you will be itching to mention it in the comments below so I thought I’d get that out of the way. I did at least try to stick to the HTML colour pallet of the card types in “Pokémon Types”. We also only started recording date obtained after October 6th. Amount of Cards in Each Set: Temaelrin Neptune Rarity of Cards Temaelrin Neptune Date Obtained Temaelrin Neptune Card Types Temaelrin Neptune Pokémon Types Temaelrin Neptune Holographic Count Temaelrin Neptune Next on: "Shit I've bought from eBay" - HP ProLiant DL380 G5 Rack Mount Server Do you still have your Pokémon Cards? Did you used to collect them? Please leave a comment below and share your experiences!

Some of you know I have a story on here called Lovesick. It's about a sick Shaymin in love with a trainer who wants to cure her. Well, I decided to write a prequel of sorts. This explains why Shaymin is with the trainer, despite being wild. This was touched on, but not really elaborated on. If I may stroke my cock ego for a bit, Lovesick is still up, and available for reading.~ There's more than one Shaymin. More than one Latios. More than one Latias. It makes sense, doesn't it? When you think about it, it's a bit ludicrous to step back and take in the view of a windswept meadow or a treacherous forest and think every blade of grass, every tree, every flower, and every dandelion puff was all the work of a single entity. Arceus Himself didn't even create Sinnoh single-handedly, let alone the myriad of species that live there. That's precisely why the Legendaries exist. Clearly, though, these deities are not immortal. Not invincible. The mere fact that a Shaymin had the incredibly poor fortune to contract a rare and fatal disease is proof of this. But that wasn't her first brush with death. All Shaymin have access to an island in the extreme northeast of Sinnoh. The sun beat down on this one in particular that day as she tended to her property. As it usually did; when Arceus designated that bit of land for the original Shaymin and her descendants, He called on Groudon and Kyogre, to ensure that the weather there would be hospitable towards the growth and health of abundant plant life. Shaymin herself included, of course. Judging by what, indeed, could only be called an abundance of plant life, it clearly worked. Few humans have ever been lucky enough to see what they've rather appropriately dubbed "Flower Paradise," but the general consensus is that, besides Shaymin, no wild Pokémon live there. This is simply fallacy. However, one can hardly blame the misinformed for being misinformed, given what the truth actually is. The plant life does attract Pokémon. However, humans do not typically have the opportunity to venture to the Flower Paradise unless Shaymin allows it. This is relevant because the wild Pokémon hide when a guest of Shaymin approaches. To date, the Flower Paradise has been home to dozens of Shaymin, and these Shaymin have played host to a myriad of human guests. Among these humans lucky enough to be granted an audience with the rulers of fertility, most have been trainers. However, there are exceptions to every rule. It's known that Professor Samuel Oak is permitted entry. As well, engaged and married couples are sometimes shown favour and allowed to enter. In fact, at least one recorded incident has taken place in which a Shaymin, having particular interest in a wedding, posed as the bride's bouquet. It is not the case, however, that Shaymin are attracted by the victorious, the studious, or even the betrothed. Rather, what attracts a Shaymin is gratitude. Of course, Shaymin have personalities all their own. But, as a whole, as a biological instinct, these wondrous deities are drawn to the thankful. Shaymin, as well, are quick to show gratitude of their own. In the Sinnoh region, in fact, Shaymin's name is evoked as the punchline of jeers directed towards the overly talkative, or the overly polite. Shaymin winced as sweat stung her eyes; only now did she realise how long she had been tending her island-wide garden. Moreover, the scent of rain was faint in the air, and she knew she'd soon have to retreat to her shelter. First, of course, her eyes needed cared for. Pure, clean water flowed in a spring nearby, and she used it to splash the sweat out of her eyes. As she blinked the last bits of water away, she smiled. She couldn't help herself from being prideful, gaze resting upon a magical garden of her own creation. Everything seemed to be in order, and the rain would only aid in their growth. Content with that knowledge, Shaymin began the short journey towards shelter. A burrow, cleverly hidden beneath one of the countless flower patches dotting the island. She had fashioned it with her powers some time ago. She wasn't the only one preparing for the rain, either. As she padded towards home, another smile crept up on her. Above, a group of Butterfree searched for a safe place to land. Being a Grass type, Shaymin typically disliked Bug types. She knew these Butterfree, however, and knew them to be friendly. "Come with me," she offered the worried couple. "I'll make room for you." Grateful trills were her reply from the winged beauties as they followed close behind her. They likely wouldn't have much room to spread their wings, but it was a far better alternative to getting caught out in the open during rain. It wouldn't kill them on its own, but their senses would be dulled, making them easy prey. For all of the next few minutes, all was well. It's a shame it couldn't stay like that. For starters, neither Celebi nor Dialga smiled upon her that day; time was not on her side, and rain was dampening her fur before her burrow was in sight. Then again, not much was in sight as it was, with the suddenly harsh wind blowing a curtain of leaves in front of her vision. Hearing the worried cries of the Butterfree behind her, Shaymin acted quickly. Not wholly unlike a child throwing a tantrum, she stomped on the ground with a stubby forepaw. All at once, vibrant flowers sprang up, leading to her burrow. Of course, Shaymin herself didn't need reminded of its location. But she rarely had guests there, and wasn't about to risk her friends getting lost. Due to her stature, she could only trust her ears in this situation, as the blowing leaves obstructed her vision, especially since the oncoming storm prevented her from reaching Sky Forme. But she was content with the wingbeats she could hear growing ever fainter before being drowned out by the howling wind. Meanwhile, she kept running. The sad truth, however, is that she didn't get far. To give credit where it's due, even with the path ahead obscured, Shaymin hardly seemed to have any trouble, her paws crushing fallen leaves and kicking up rainwater as she ran. But something felt wrong. Not just wrong, but very wrong. Shaymin was able to run for only a few seconds before fatigue hit her hard. At once, her gait went from a sprint to a weak stagger. Her breaths came shakily, and with much difficulty. She burst into a fit of harsh coughing, whimpering as every cough hurt. "What..." Shaymin could barely speak; she could hardly hear herself over the cacophony of nature's wrath around her, and the weak voice she had was mostly drowned out by coughs. Her chest burned as though she had just swallowed something too hot to be eaten or drank. "Wh-What... " Shaymin stammered desperately; this was all happening so fast. "What's... happening... t-to me?" She couldn't run anymore; whatever was doing this to her, she was helpless to stop it. Then, a flash of red filled her vision, before the world turned black. Shaymin awoke some time later, in a daze. Without even opening her eyes, she knew full well she was no longer in the familiar surroundings of Flower Paradise. Whatever she was resting on was soft and plush. Certainly not the ground she passed out on. Without opening her eyes, she shifted her position. Yes; certainly, this was a bed. And not the one she had fashioned for herself out of shed bits of fluff from Jumpluff and Whimsicott. Had Arceus teleported her away from the storm when she lost consciousness? She wasn't able to keep that thought in her head for too long, however, before a voice spoke. "Good; she's waking up." Shaymin finally opened her eyes. That voice. A young adult male. She didn't know who the voice belonged to, but it certainly wasn't Arceus. A boy stood over her, gaze fixed on her, and with a warm smile on his face. He wore similar attire to what Shaymin remembered Professor Oak wearing. A white coat, partially open, over a red shirt. Khaki pants adorned his legs, and he wore sneakers, mostly red and with light grey mesh, over plain white socks. Shaymin didn't feel threatened by him; merely uneasy. Nonetheless, she wanted answers. She opened her mouth, but, to her immense shock, could only manage a sort of raspy squeak. What's more, that short vocalisation caused her great pain. Her throat and chest both burned, quickly silencing her. "You can't talk?" the boy asked. Shaymin noted the genuine concern in his voice before nodding. Though she sensed no malicious intent, Shaymin didn't lower her guard. "Can you do me a favour?" the mysterious boy continued. Shaymin cocked her head quizically, allowing him to continue. "I know you must be in a lot of pain, but could you roll over? On your back, I mean. I think I know what's wrong, but I have to make sure." Shaymin complied, nearly as eager as this boy was to identify her illness. No sooner had Shaymin moved onto her back, her leafy quills flattening against her fur, then the boy produced an odd device. Shaymin was certain she had seen it before. But what was it called? A "stellar scope?" She shook the thought from her mind; far more important problems were present at the moment than pronunciation. "This will be cold" was the only warning she received before the boy placed 2 nubs on one end of the device into his ears, then pressed the other end - a flat metal disc - gently against her chest. It was indeed cold, but Shaymin didn't react, as she was warned beforehand. Besides, she suddenly realised something. Upon closer inspection, this boy was wearing white gloves. He wasn't a professor; he was a doctor! This revelation calmed her significantly. At least she was in good hands. Finally, the odd device was pulled away, though only to be repositioned on a different area of her chest. "Can you take a deep breath for me?" the doctor asked politely. "In through your nose, and out through your mouth." Again, Shaymin complied with the innocuous request. Soon after that, the device was again pulled back. This time, the doctor removed the nubs from his ears. "Your heartbeat is fine, which is a relief. But your breathing is definitely laboured." After that explanation, the doctor sat on the edge of the bed. Shaymin righted herself and listened intently as a few medical terms were tossed about. But the topic of the conversation changed quickly as a gloved hand was extended towards her. "I'm sorry; please forgive my poor manners. My name is Tyler Miller. I found you unconscious, and brought you to this Pokémon Centre." In spite of the situation, Shaymin found stifling a giggle rather difficult. Tyler's politeness was welcomed, of course. But it had been quite some time since anybody had spoken to Shaymin with such reverence. Blushing beneath the stark white fur of her cheeks, she nuzzled the boy's hand. Faced with affection from a deity, Tyler's professionalism faded somewhat. "U-Umm... See,... what's wrong is..." Unlike Shaymin, Tyler had no fur cloaking his cheeks. Therefore, when he blushed, it was very obvious. For just a few seconds, Shaymin was glad her voice was shot. At least Tyler couldn't hear her giggling as she backed off to allow him to diagnose her. Even then, Tyler needed a moment to compose himself. The next minute or so was spent in relative silence, save for the sounds of scribbling as Tyler wrote on a chart. "O-Okay. I won't keep you waiting anymore. Your symptoms add up to what I'm sure is bacterial pneumonia." It was, no pun intended, the perfect storm. Treating Pokémon is complicated, in and of itself. They can typically understand humans, but humans cannot easily understand them. Moreover, while Tyler was able to understand some Pokémon language, Shaymin couldn't speak, anyway. So the doctor could only assume his explanation got through to her. "There was blood on your face, mostly near your mouth. Since you were unconscious when I found you, my guess is that you coughed up blood right before passing out. So you fell in it." Tyler hesitated. Could Shaymin understand him? She was staring in wide-eyed shock, implying that the diagnosis worried her, or that she at least understood it. Of course, for all Tyler knew, it could just have been the word "blood" that got her attention, since even Pokémon tend to associate that word with injury or illness. It wasn't until Shaymin gave a slight nod that Tyler continued. "The likely reason for you losing your voice is that the coughing you were doing damaged your vocal cords. With pneumonia, that can definitely happen. Your lungs fill with fluid, and you start coughing to get rid of it." Again, wanting to make sure Shaymin understood him, Tyler fell silent until she responded with a nod. At that, however, he allowed a smile to come through. "There's good news, though. I can cure this." If she could speak, Shaymin would have cheered. But her face told as much as words could. Her eyes, usually emerald green in colour, but now faded with illness, sparkled nonetheless with joy. She made an attempt to voice her gratitude, but was again reduced to a painful squeak. "We'll have to work together to get your voice back," Tyler added. "It'll take a while, but..." Carefully, he extended a hand again. "...I'll be with you every step of the way, if you'll allow it." Not a moment's hesitation followed Dr. Miller's offer before Shaymin closed the distance in a single joyous skip. Of course she agreed to his help. Sure, she would miss Flower Paradise. But it wasn't as though she would never return there. This was merely a temporary setback. And, to be honest, she wasn't even sure it was a setback. She felt no fear towards this boy. He was, if anything, overly polite to her. Shaymin trusted the doctor. Besides, even weakened, the fact remained that she was a Legendary, and could easily fight him off if he attacked her. She would daresay she found a new friend. One that, ironically, she never would have known had she not fallen ill. And she was appropriately grateful for this opportunity. The next week, the duo didn't stray far from each other. And, gradually, Shaymin's health improved. But her voice did not return. While her gratitude was obvious, she couldn't voice it. Tyler had been right when he said getting Shaymin's voice back would require a joint effort. This took nearly another week. During this time, Shaymin learned that her saviour was a trainer. As the days passed, Shaymin's gratitude morphed gradually into affection. She followed him closely, and even slept by his side. But her greatest act of kindness came when she had fully recovered. Knowing she would have to return to her home, Shaymin offered Tyler a final gift. After a heartfelt, and finally verbal "thank you," she presented him with a Gracidea. A single, vibrantly pink flower, native to Sinnoh and sacred to the people and Pokémon there. If ever Tyler wanted her by his side again, she assured him he need only hold the stem of the flower and call out to her. Then, in a flash of white feathers, she took off, into the morning sky. She would see Tyler again. And her feelings towards him would be amplified many times over in the coming years. And some say that, deep in Flower Paradise, Shaymin fiercely guarded an empty medicine bottle. *Author's Note* This was actually fun to write. And cute. But WAS it cute? I leave that judgement up to you!~ Oh, and here are the references. "It's known that Professor Samuel Oak is permitted entry." Shaymin is an event Pokémon, unobtainable through normal gameplay. In Diamond, Pearl, and Platinum, an item called Oak's Letter was required. Without it, there's only a white rock where people pray and give thanks for their blessings. Professor Oak's canonical first name is Samuel. "...a Shaymin posed as the bride's bouquet." A reference to a bonus mission in Pokémon Ranger: Shadows Of Almia. The mission is called "For The Bride And Shaymin." "It wouldn't kill them on its own,..." Refers to several Pokédex entries for Butterfree, stating that the scales on their wings are waterproof.

I got fuck-all for sleep last night. Too excited. I think it was about 3 in the morning before I finally fell asleep. Have you ever heard the phrase "old habits die hard?" No; not the Billy Joel song. That's "Only The Good Die Young." Which, by the way, I REALLY hope is false. That'd mean I'm next to go. I guess I did almost take a tumble off a skyscraper, though; could it be that I'm just good at cheating death? But that isn't where I was going with this. See, Big and I live a bit north of Goldenrod City. A quick walk to the subway. Back when all we had was the clubhouse, we would watch TV through windows. Sure, we got caught a few times. But we were just let be for the most part, since we weren't hurting anyone. Well, since I couldn't sleep, I watched a bit of TV. Next thing I knew, Big was shaking me and there was one of those emergency test things going on. Always hated those, even as a kid. We have to take the Magnet Train. Millenium Town isn't hours away from Goldenrod, but it's way too far to walk. But the Magnet Train? We're Electric types! Won't that hurt us? No; that's me overthinking things. There'd be a sign; wouldn't there? "Not suitable for Electric type passengers," or something like that. Plus, it's right next to the Radio Tower; if they aren't having problems, we won't. Damn; Big is rubbing off on me. I thought only one of us had to be the responsible one. Figures; I couldn't sleep last night, but I fell asleep at the station, waiting for the train. Or I think I did. I remember getting there, buying a ticket, and sitting down. Then Big was shaking me again. Either I fell asleep, or I got wasted. And I don't remember buying a drink. I made a real ass of myself getting on the train, though; that much I remember. I didn't hit anyone, or break anything. But I'm loud when I'm sleepy. And I think I can sing. Enough said. The seats are SO fucking comfy! What're they stuffed with? Wigglytuff fur or something? This proves that I'm still a kid at heart; I can't begin to tell you how much I wanna jump on these seats! I think Big knows, though. I won't say I'd be dead if looks could kill, but I'd totally be fucked up. You know you wanna join, though, Big. Somewhere in you is the big bro who used to party until his paws were too sore to keep going. I'll get him out. A little bit into the trip, a guy came around selling snacks. We both have money, but we weren't really hungry. So we ended up sharing a bag of chips. Not exactly healthy, but we can get a proper breakfast in Millenium Town. How awesome would it be if the bakery on Route 58 was still there? I'll keep my fingers crossed. Though I will admit, I'll be pretty damn happy to see ANYTHING there that I remember from my childhood. But I guess we'll see. Looking around now, the Magnet Train isn't exactly bustling. Then again, it's pretty early. I think we're almost there; I just looked out the window, and the scenery is starting to look familiar. Big's eyes are a little glassy. Good to know I'm not the only one about to fall asleep. At least Big has a reason, what with his job. I'll get work someday. I have tried; I'm not just lazing around all day like a Snorlax. Shitty as this sounds, I hope to move back to Millenium Town, when and if I finally decide to act like an adult. Maybe I'll move in with Delcatty; she still lives there, last I heard. We're definitely getting some looks. I had a feeling we'll be recognised. Definitely gonna take some pictures later. Not that I mind. I'd try to get some sleep, but I'm totally sure I wouldn't even have time for a nap. Again, that'll have to wait for when we get to Millenium Town. Food first, then nap. Priorities done right. Haha! Big and I are feral, so we don't have issues sleeping pretty much anywhere. Don't get me wrong; thank Arceus for beds! But I could've slept on the floor of the apartment last night if I wasn't so damn excited. And I'm still excited! Why shouldn't I be? I get to see my old stomping grounds again, if only for a couple of days. You bet your tail I'm looking forward to this! Plus, Delcatty and I have been texting back and forth leading up to this. I wouldn't be at all surprised If she met us at the station. You know, come to think of it, that'd be great. She could show us around. I guess we'll find out soon. Very soon. I just heard the conductor. "Millenium Town Station is just ahead." Well, here goes nothing! *Author's Note* WOO!!!! I said I'd do a second part. The Magnet Train allows you to travel from Goldenrod City to Saffron City in the Generation II games. You gain access to it after completing a postgame sidequest in Kanto. The abandoned power plant where Zapdos was in Generation I isn't abandoned anymore; people are working there. Or trying to; Team Rocket has made off with a crucial part. Without it, the Plant can't function. Head the verbally-challenged lackey off in Cerulean City, and he'll tell you you're too late. He's already stashed the Machine Part in Misty's gym. Get it, and take it back to the Power Plant. The Magnet Train is convenient, because you usually can't travel immediately from Johto to Kanto. Even using Fly, you have to stop at the Indigo Plateau first. Anyway, I left this one on a cliffhanger, so let me assure you I WILL make a 3rd part. There is one thing I have to explain first, though. Little's guess that the comfortable seat cushions are stuffed with Wigglytuff fur is a reference to Pokédex entries in Crystal, Black 2, and White 2, that state Wigglytuff's fur is so soft and luxurious, once you touch it, you won't be able to take your hands away.

The following story contains foul language, depictions of mental disorders, depictions of suicide, and rape. If you find any of these subjects disturbing, TURN AWAY NOW!!!! What follows is a bit of a summary of several roleplays I've done privately with the wonderful @SMFoxy. The story is told by a Jirachi who mistakenly and tragically wasn't careful when granting wishes, and who now has a wish of her own. To make things right with her victims. This is the second time tonight. The second time I've woken up, screaming bloody murder and drenched in sweat. I can't sleep anymore. Not without the nightmares. They won't stop; every fucking night, they come back to haunt me, like ghosts! What did I do to deserve this? Sure, I haven't been perfect, but nobody has! Dammit, I was just doing my job! Arceus put me here to grant wishes, and that's what I did. Can I really be blamed for the times they went wrong? How could I have known their intentions? I'm a Legendary, sure, but there are still things I don't know. I assumed they could relate. I assumed everybody could! I... I just didn't realise the effect I could have on them. 7 acquaintences became victims. Victims of an old saying. "Be careful what you wish for." In one fell swoop, I ruined the lives of a trainer and 6 Pokémon. If I could take it all back, I would. I can. They just need to ask. But they won't. I've caused them too much pain for them to wanna seek my help. But I'd love a chance to apologise. Anything to stop these damned nightmares! They're in them. Always dying. Always dying! Fuck me; I'll never unsee those nightmares, if I live to be 100 years old! The storm that started everything. Was it supernatural? That, I can't answer. The weather is outside of my jurisdiction. But it came from nowhere, and battered Goldenrod City mercilessly. I saw 6 Pokémon huddled around their trainer, in a closet. They begged for safety. But not for themselves. They wanted their trainer to survive. They all survived; so did the house, by some miracle. But I watched them intently that night. They surrounded the boy with affection. He treated them well. Even after everything I've done to them, I'll stand by this until the day I die; he was never abusive to those Pokémon. Quite the opposite, in fact. Rarely does a Pokémon legitimately enjoy waiting on their "master." But all 6 of them did. Their trainer fell asleep long before the storm subsided, but they still kept a close eye on him. It was honestly adorable. They each made a wish. And it was easy for me to grant them; the wishes were all the same. They whispered with each other how much they wanted to repay their master's love. It warmed my heart. I knew I had to help them, so I did. Finally, they settled on a wish. They wanted to be able to serve him properly. They eventually fell asleep, same as their trainer. It was... I think it was a half hour later. Not that it matters. I got started as soon as I was sure they were asleep. Fur and scales became hair and clothing. Their bodies, depending on species, either stretched or shrank. By the time the physical transformations had been completed, all 6 of the former Pokémon were mostly human. They still had their tails, and some other features. Their trainer could already understand them when they spoke their native tongues, but, since it'd be rather odd for them to walk around in public yipping and cooing like the creatures they were moments before, I altered their voices, as well, so they would speak English. This process, by the way, is not painless. None of them were; there's a reason why I waited until they were asleep. By the time I expected they would wake up, most or all of the pain would've gone away. But I wasn't finished yet. They wanted to serve; didn't they? They were all females. Their trainer isn't sexist. He just doesn't care for burly, musclebound brutes. His preference is for femininity, and it showed in his team. Not that he was ever sexually involved with them. He used to use them in battles, like the majority of trainers do. And, before you ask, no. I don't object to battles. There's a difference between contests of strength and skill, and brutal beatings. Yes, there are occasionally injuries from battles. But accidents can happen from the most innocuous of activities. Sweet, innocent Chansey Scouts trip and fall sometimes. It hurts, you cry, you get a bandage and/or a lollipop, and you go about your day. But I digress. The trainer of the Pokémon I had just transformed held a spot in the Johto Hall Of Fame, which he earned when his team defeated the six battle-hardened, vicious Pokémon of the former champion, a trainer who thwarted terrorist attacks, traversed the entire Johto and Kanto regions, and tamed even the guardian of the sea and the sacred winged rainbow. But he didn't battle with them after his victory. Following that tremendous upset, he left competitive battling to focus on the medical field. A passion of his for a long time. In fact, even before the championships were a blip on the radar, he showed decent skills, being able to repair minor wounds, and cure minor ailments. To make extra money, he would moonlight at Pokémon Centres. By the time he was considering going to the Indigo Plateau, he barely needed Pokémon Centres for healing his beloved companions; he could fix everything from cuts and stings to broken bones. It seemed like just the natural progression of things; forgive me, but it brings to mind another old saying. "What're you going to do now?" "I'm going to Disney World!~" He used his fame from winning the championship to secure a job at the Pokémon Centre in his hometown. This boy became one of my victims. He has nothing now. The 6 Pokémon I transformed were a Bellossom, a Goodra, a Pachirisu, a Sylveon, a Vaporeon, and a Wigglytuff. To grant their wishes to be able to serve their master, I turned them into maids. I thought it would go over well with everyone. At least I was right in that respect. For a while, anyway. When they awoke the next morning, they all eagerly began their chores. Vaporeon had the poor luck to be the one to awaken the boy. They had been made to think their roles had always been theirs. I didn't think - damn; that's a theme - I would need to hypnotise him, too. He was furious. Not from being woken up by a beautiful anthropomorphic Vaporeon. But from being waited on. Trainers can sometimes forget that, were it not for the Pokémon they care for, they wouldn't be trainers. Nor can the Pokémon be champions without trainers to teach them the finer points of combat. Everyone has to work together. Of course, every partnership is different; in some cases, the trainer may have a disability, and their Pokémon have to work harder to come out on top. Or vice versa. I've seen deaf trainers win matches because their Pokémon could understand sign language. I've seen Pokémon with impaired vision use their other senses to outwit and topple opponents. But, at the core of everything, it boils down to teamwork. And these 6 girls were well-versed on the subject, before and after their transformations. As crazy as this is going to sound, after all of the praise I've just given their trainer, it's him that doesn't understand that. But the misunderstanding in this case is probably the opposite of what you might expect. See, he doesn't expect these Pokémon to do everything for him; he would prefer to be the one serving them. I should explain that I knew this boy before the storm. Well, saying that I knew him is a bit of an understatement. I would go so far as to say we were friends. I'm not going to reveal his name; I've revealed too much about him already. In fact, to be fair, he was submissive with me, too, so I suppose his behaviour towards his Pokémon shouldn't be so surprising to me. But he explained that it's because I'm a Legendary Pokémon. One of many that keep this world balanced. So maybe he has a point. But he spoiled those Pokémon rotten when he was still a trainer. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I guess, since I grant wishes, I do more or less the same thing anyway. He devoted his life to the care of Pokémon. Studying, healing, and training. But it all came crashing down around him when he tried to play Arceus. The trainer was born fully human; during a rescue mission, he accidentally bonded his soul to an artifact that fused his DNA with that of a female Cinccino. Still, he went on with his life, and even grew to love his new fluff. Until he was raped for it, that is. That was my first mistake; I should've stepped in. I offered him a wish to console him, but couldn't give him what he wished for. With all of his Pokémon being female, he wished to be feminised. Could I have done it? Without a shadow of a doubt. Child's play. But he held a very important job back then - he specialised in emergency medicine when he was a doctor - that would be put in jeopardy if he showed up in a dress and makeup. So I had to refuse. As horrible as this sounds, if he asked again, I'd grant his wish in a heartbeat, now that he's lost his job. Not granting his wish was my second mistake. And, unfortunately, soon after that, he managed to get in far over his head. His mission was noble; the species he had recently become a member of was, and unfortunately remains, severely endangered. The next time I offered him a wish, he made it right away. His wish was for a massive increase in their population. That was a good bit harder. I can warp bodies, minds, inanimate objects, and more. But creating life is something I'm not at all well-versed in. Mew and Shaymin handle that; in retrospect, I should've asked one of them. Preferably Mew; Shaymin didn't get along well with the boy. I knew I owed him, though, so I tried doing things myself. I won't go into specifics, but I messed up. Big time. Again, I should've asked Mew. My name was certainly mud with the boy and his former Pokémon after that, not that I blame them. But, with that, I struck out with the trainer. As ironic as this sounds, I wish the troubles had ended there. Of course, they didn't. The trainer was ruined, but the girls were in good health. Unfortunately, that was about to change. Starting with Vaporeon. Vaporeon, objectively, was hit the hardest. But they all suffered. Those poor girls lost their minds, and a good bit more. Even I couldn't have predicted the horrors that would befall them. In a way, it angers me; it really, truly does. So many evil people in this world, yet an innocent boy and 6 innocent Pokémon were harmed, just for making wishes! A wish to help a loved one, and a wish to save an endangered species. Not exactly scandalous. "But Jirachi! Just make everything better!" Believe me, I want to. But I can't do anything unless the request is worded as a wish. Arceus added that rule. And no, I can't just make the wish myself; it doesn't work. I've tried. As for what happened to the girls - the "horrors that befell them" - it seems each one bears a different curse. Bellossom constantly exudes a ludicrously strong floral scent. Pachirisu cries at the drop of a hat. Wigglytuff is a glutton. Vaporeon is the opposite; she starves herself. Sylveon is addicted to cosmetics. And Goodra is convinced she's the doting mother of her trainer. Huh? Bellossom's fate doesn't sound so bad? She's scrubbed herself raw trying to remove the stench. To no avail. Goodra doesn't sound like she got a bad deal, either. But you don't see her. She has absolutely gone insane. She fills her bedroom with what she insists are framed pictures of the trainer and her. They're all blank. The victim I see in my dreams changes often, but they die the same way each time! And the deaths, in stark contrast to the victims, aren't pretty. Wigglytuff collapses in agony, dead of a heart attack before reaching the Pokémon Centre. Bellossom is mauled by wild Pokémon. She cries out, but nobody is willing to bear her stench to rescue her. Sylveon is taken into an alleyway, raped, then beaten to death after being drugged while on a date. Vaporeon takes a final, shaking breath in her bed before her organs give out from starvation. Pachirisu, the poor dear, has an emotional breakdown and commits suicide by drinking various cleaning chemicals. And Goodra dies of shock upon finding her "child" hanging from a ceiling fan. 7 images, counting the trainer, that I don't think I'll ever get out of my head. For fuck's sake, every fucking dream is a snuff film! I can't take this much longer! I can't help them; I want to. I really, really want to! But I can't unless they make wishes, or someone makes wishes for them. Vaporeon was helped by a kind Delphox who wished her back to good health, but her mind is fried; I have absolutely no doubt that she's still gonna starve to death unless someone wishes her shattered psyche back together. I don't blame the Delphox, though. He and his daughter have hearts of gold, the both of them. I'll go to my grave insisting that he had Vaporeon's best interests at heart. As for his daughter, her wish broke my heart. Her mother died when she was too young to remember her. All she knew of her mother was stories, as though she was brought into this world by a fairytale princess. Of course, she wished for her mother back. And, of course, I granted her wish. Sort of. As it happens, her mother was a Cinccino. I can't resurrect the dead, but I can revive their souls. The poor trainer of the 6 ill-fated girls used to have a Cinccino, whom he had recently rediscovered was living comfortably in a nature preserve after being released. Sacrifices were made, and that Cinccino was given the memories of the young lady's mother. Both of them, and the Delphox, still live happy, healthy lives to this day; lucky them. But for the Delphox and his daughter, I probably would've eaten a shotgun shell quite some time ago. The blood of 7 innocent victims is on my hands, and I can't help them until they ask for it! The Delphox and the trainer are close friends. That's lovely; otherwise, I have a sneaking suspicion the trainer would've been found hanged with his own tail. Maybe that Delphox can turn things around. But, just in case, let me broadcast a plea to everyone reading this. If any of you see a male Cinccino anthro, or any of the 6 maids I mentioned, I beg you. Please, for the love of Arceus, tell them everything will be alright. And tell them I'm sorry, and that I'll do whatever I can to make everything up to them. Oh, and, if you see me, wish for something that benefits one of them. I promise, if you do, I'll give you a second wish. Whatever you want. That's a promise, literally in writing, from a Legendary. Just make the nightmares stop. If you don't feel sorry for me, which you probably shouldn't, at least do something for their sake. As badly as my nightmares have scarred my mind, at least they end when I wake up. I can't say the same for them.

There's a legend in the Hoenn region about a white rock. Apparently, if you write down wishes on pieces of paper, and attach them to the rock, your wishes will come true. I don't know much else about it; I've only been to Hoenn once, while passing through on a train. I haven't even seen the rock, let alone believing it can grant wishes. But I guess we have some weird legends here in Johto; who am I to judge? But I'm getting sidetracked. The point is, if that wish rock legend is true, I know exactly what I'd wish for. Not love; I already have that. I'm dating a beautiful Delcatty, who I've known since our childhood. And I don't want wealth. I mean, I guess everyone wants to be rich. Me, too. But money isn't all that important to me. I'm a feral Pikachu; what use would I have for it, anyway? So, what do I want? What would I wish for, if I could have anything in the world? I've had fame, friendship, unforgettable experiences,... just a fun-filled life in general. What do I want? To experience it all again. My name is Pichu Little. Or, at least, I think it is. It's what my older brother calls me. We - my friends and I - call him Pichu Big. Those names have stuck with us since we actually were Pichu. Gun to our heads, in fact, neither one of us could tell you our real names, if we have them. I'll have to think about a name if I'm ever mated. Until that day, just call me Pichu Little. Or just Little; I don't mind. If that name sounds familiar, I'll explain why. Along with my brother, we used to be some of the greatest pranksters in the world: The Pichu Brothers. Come to think of it, it could very well be the media that gave us our names; our faces were on TV in Johto more often than that narcoleptic Psyduck who used to host PNF. I was too young to have much of a memory of our earliest pranks, but Big claims we started small. Of course we did; everyone has to. I do remember a few of our older pranks. Toothpaste in cream-filled cookie sandwiches, taking each other's place when one of us got in trouble, making lights flicker,... We obviously stepped up our game since then, but we used to go back to those sometimes. Big told me that we didn't need to do something complicated and dangerous for it to be funny. Of course, we got into plenty of danger. But I didn't see Big complaining. He was a Pichu at heart well into his Pikachu years. Even fully evolved, he still did some pranks with me. But the "real" world got to him eventually. If you had told me, back in my Pichu years, that Big was gonna end up as a stuffy adult, we probably would've both zapped you. But damned if it didn't happen. He has a job now, working at a hotel in Goldenrod City. I'm so proud of him, too! But it doesn't leave us much time to just screw around together. Back when we lived in Millennium Town - we had to move when Big landed that job - we used to spend lunchtime sprawled out on a rooftop, looking through the windows of TV stations while eating whatever we managed to pilfer. Usually berries we took from the Murkrow. But we did get lucky sometimes. Cookies, chips, donuts,... There was, and might still be, a bakery on Route 58, and we would help ourselves to the rejected pastries. When we could; they figured out what we were doing pretty quickly, and made their trash harder to get to. We still risked it, though. Usually on birthdays and Christmas. Anyway, their stuff was delicious! I'll have to make it a point to check out if that place is still there, next time I'm in the area. Besides Big and I, we had a sort of gang. Let's see... There was a Teddiursa, a Smoochum, a Magby, and a Wooper. But that's not exactly a secret; the whole gang was involved in the pranks back in our heyday. As for what happened to them, I can only speak for Smoochum and Magby. They evolved, and married each other. Big and I went to the wedding. As far as I know, they're all still alive. If a member of the Pichu Posse died, it'd be in the news. Most of our activities were. Speaking of that, don't believe what these killjoys on the news say; the worst anyone ever got from one of our pranks was the sniffles. We didn't hurt anyone. Purposely, at least; occasionally someone got banged up. But, like I said, nothing too serious. Some close scrapes, though. I remember vividly - how could I forget - damn near falling off of the roof of a skyscraper. That was when we met that famous Pikachu. I was being a dick, as was my want back then, and karma gave me a little push. I know we met that Pikachu at least once after that. About 2 years later, if memory serves. He and his friends helped us catch a train. Yes; the train I mentioned earlier. See, we overslept that day. Big says we're going back, to see the old clubhouse. We can't stay, for 2 reasons. The first is we won't be able to play around in it, now that we're bigger. I have to admit, though, I'd pay some damn good money to see Big get stuck in one of the tires we built the place with.~ Anyway, the second reason is we obviously can't stay, since Big has the job in Goldenrod City. Honestly, that's fine with me. I just wanna see if the place is still there. It should be, but humans see things differently than us; it was home to us, but it could just be a pile of junk to them. I wonder if we'll be recognised. Big told me he met a fan in Goldenrod who pretty much recognised him right away. But that Pikachu, from what I gathered, is still famous. I hope, if I am recognised, it isn't because they're mistaking me for the other Pikachu. Anyway, that fan was supposed to be at a party at the hotel, so I showed up, too. But I didn't meet him. Not that I'd know if I had, but, hearing Big talk, this kid must be a superfan. I'd think Big would've pointed him out. According to a Delphox, apparently the kid's friend, he was there. But he had to step out. Something about a Goodra and a locket; I dunno. The point I guess I'm trying to make is, if I could have one wish, I'd wanna be a Pichu again. And not just devolving; I wanna actually be back in my prime. I know it'll never happen, but everyone has wishes. We're heading back to Millennium Town tomorrow. I guess I'll get to see for myself what became of the place since we left. I'm sure it's changed, but I hope the changes were for the better. *Author's Note* Been a while; huh? I don't think I need to explain who The Pichu Brothers are; check the Pichu Brothers card I made in my gallery. But there are things I should explain. "Big and Little:" Their actual canonical names are Pichu Big and Pichu Little. To tell them apart, look at their heads. Pichu Big has an extra tuft of fur. "White rock:" In Ruby, Sapphire , Emerald, Omega Ruby, and Alpha Sapphire, there's a white rock in Mossdeep City, near the Space Station. Speaking to a nearby NPC reveals that people like to write down wishes on pieces of paper and stick them to the rock. The wishes come true. The rock does jack dick for the player, but there were rumours in RSE that the rock would trigger an encounter with Jirachi once certain conditions were met. It won't. The only way to get Jirachi is to have it given to you in person at an event, or using a GameCube disc that was given to people who preordered Pokémon Colosseum. I have the disc. ^_^ "Train," "helped us catch a train:" References to the 5th Pokémon short film, Camp Pikachu. "...damn near falling off a skyscraper:" Reference to the 3rd Pokémon short film, Pikachu And Pichu. "Clubhouse," "...one of the tires we built the place with:" The Pichu Posse lived in a clubhouse of likely their own making. The clubhouse is constructed from various bits of junk, including tires and pipes. "Route 58:" That doesn't exist in the games. It's an inside joke. Alvin And The Chipmunks debuted in 1958. Big's job, "superfan," "Goodra and a locket," "Delphox:" RP references. I can't explain the Goodra/locket/fanboy situation, because it involves kinks that put off many people. SMFoxy will know the specifics. "Delcatty:" Team Rocket's Meowth has a niece. A Skitty living in Millennium Town. This is canon. "...that narcoleptic Psyduck who used to host PNF:" In Pokémon Channel for GameCube, the objective is to watch Pokémon themed TV programmes. The news channel is called PNF, short for Pokémon News Flash. The host, a Psyduck, will occasionally fall asleep in the middle of a news report, leading to an abrupt commercial break. Narcolepsy is a disorder which causes victims to fall asleep randomly. Someone who has it is narcoleptic. Would you like to see a part 2? I'd love to write one! Consider this a journal entry.

"This is for the Randomized Nuzlocke of Pokémon Black/White challenge between @NyxAvatar69 and I"

Yes, every episode title is going to have Ultra somewhere in it. So, like with Episode 0, this was written several weeks earlier, so by this time, I'm already about halfway through the main story. As with the first and pretty much every episode, I originally posted this on a site where I believe not many people have too much general knowledge on Pokemon, so please excuse me if my long winded explaining gets a little grating on the eyes. Without further delay, let us begin. You know, to be honest, I'm sort of worried. I remember some details of how my casual playthrough went, and since we're doing a nuzlocke, I can't abuse revives on the more annoying lategame battles and postgame if we do it. Well, this is the hole I dug. Can't complain about it now, so let's get it started. So naturally, I'm gonna play in English...because I'm American and I can only read and understand English fluently. And now, somehow, the Alola region's professor has my number. Seems legit. He gives the usual opening game speech of "oh hey, welcome to the region, Pokemon, fun stuff." You know, things like that. Anyway, once he finishes the first half of his ramble marathon, it's trainer selection time. Naturally, I'm going to use the female character because Nintendo has this habit of giving the female character the vastly superior customization options...and I like the Vacation Hat. So yeah, we're doing it. After that, Kukui goes on about Trop Kick or something, and we're on our way...is what I would say if there wasn't another cutscene right after at some place we aren't going to visit for a good half of the game, so the major details aren't important. The important part is big chase scene, bags, and teleportation. Oh, and people who weren't in the original games. Then cue game title and three month time skip. Gotta love that 12 hour time difference Ultra Moon has to real time. It's nighttime in my game, my 3DS time is an hour ahead because I'm too lazy to change it, and it's 6 AM when I'm typing this. So we get an intro to our mom, who will probably never unpack those dang boxes then get verbally assaulted by her Meowth. Fun fact, it's a Kanto Meowth, not the variety will be seeing in the region. Another fun fact, Vacation Hat as starting female character hat is vastly superior to that stupid chicken hat you got in the original games. So after a little totally not tutorial talk with mom, we can go get our stuff and do some exploring. I honestly just realized there's a Snorlax cushion in the main character's room. Goes to show you how much I pay attention. We get a warning about not walking in the tall grass (what is this, Sinnoh?) and we're on our way to Iki Town. So up to Route 1 and without even walking into the grass ourselves, a thing comes. A Yungoos, or as some people like to call it, mini Donald Trump. I'm gonna keep any political comments out of this, but before this wild Yungoos can destroy our main character thirty ways to Thursday, our starter options come to the rescue and, I guess yell at him or something. Hell if I know. Whatever they did, it worked, and now Mr. "I don't wear a shirt and I'm a professor" shows up, AKA Kukui. I prefer to call him the Sun Nuzlocke Cucklord, but for the sake of argument, I will from this point forth just call him by name. He's going to give another speech and introduce our starter choices to us. I won't always go super in depth here, but you never know if someone's following along who's playing these as their first Pokemon games, so I'd like to at least be a little informative instead of just blathering on for episodes on end. So first up is Rowlet. This Grass/Flying type eventually swaps it's Flying typing out for Ghost type, which can be useful long term if that's your path. Unfortunately, it has good moves that don't come until you're around Lv. 45 outside it's signature move when it hits it's final evolution at 34. Ultra Sun and Moon also gave it access to another priority move outside of one it gets at Lv. 38, but it's only available through a move relearner. It'll be very weak to Ice for a while, but Ice is an uncommon type until mid to lategame. Next is Litten, the only starter I never used. Starts as a pure Fire type and then gains a Dark typing at it's final evolution. It can learn Leech Life in this game, which got a massive buff from how bad it used to be. This buff, however, leads to the Zubat line learning it later than at start. If you want my honest opinion, this thing is going to suck for a while. Weak to Water, a type that is very threatening pretty early, and it's early level movepool leaves a lot to be desired, especially since this game has a bad habit of locking out good Technical Machines behind postgame. It's got potential, I guess, if you stick with it. Not sure how it can do long term since I've never used it. And then you got my personal favorite of this trio, Popplio. I've used this thing in both my Moon and Ultra Sun casual runs. When it reaches it's final evolution, it gets the addition of the Fairy type and eventual access to Moonblast. However, I can't mindlessly sing praises about it's final evolution. It's slow and can't handle physical attacks well. Along with that, it's range of viable moves is...limited, for lack of a better term. By the end of the game, you'll likely be running Moonblast, Ice Beam, a Water move like Scald, and your choice of Psychic, Energy Ball, or Shadow Ball. It can slay dragons, but you need to avoid heavy physical hitters and strong Poison types who can swallow a hit. Now, it's time for the moment of truth. We get to choose one of these three as our starter. To be honest, I thought over what I wanted to use ahead of time, and despite my earlier complaints, I may be digging a hole for this locke, but I have plans to use Litten as my starter. Litten is the only Alola starter I've never used, and this is a prime chance for me to give it a try and see if it doesn't suck as much as I assume it does because of it's weak starting movepool. Now let's just hope my game doesn't crash because I don't have the update installed and there's a bug where the game apparently crashes if you pick Litten. We're in there, boys! No crashes here. So we got ourselves a male Litten because the gender ratio for starters is always pushed farther towards males even though a couple of starters should have a higher female ratio (Chikorita, Fennekin, Popplio). Anyway, I'm gonna go with a Crash Bandicoot reference and nickname this Litten here Tiny. You know, like Tiny Tiger. Big guy, not very bright. You know how it is. Now let's have Kukui go on about how Tiny here is a gift from "the island kahuna." To be honest, every time I hear the word kahuna, my mind immediately thinks of that one Scooby-Doo movie that took place in Hawaii. Upon a single Google search, I found out the movie was called Aloha, Scooby-Doo. Check it out if you got a couple of hours to kill and can find it on DVD or somewhere on the internet. So before we go past the single round of tall grass to Iki Town, let's take a look at Tiny. I have a curse of getting awful natures on my team members, so let's hope it's sunshine and rainbows for now. ...Quiet nature. Less speed for more Special Attack. For those who aren't sure what I'm talking about, it's bad. It means that there will be chances that things can outspeed Tiny when normally, they shouldn't because he'll end up with overall lower Speed. Welp, this is going off to a fantastic start. But of course, we can't go to a town without some kid showing up and talking to us. At least he tells us his name is Hau after asking some stranger what Pokemon she's going to pick from Kukui. Kinda sucks he was too late to the draw. Now, any smart person would pick the Water starter knowing I have a Fire type. Not Hau, though. He's a special kind of kid who chooses to pick starters that mine can just obliterate in no time flat. On another note, I swear this kid doesn't stop smiling. And even after all of this, he wants to battle. How cute. He's doomed, so I don't think I need to explain how this is going to go. We go to Fight, click Ember, watch Rowlet's HP decrease. Rinse and repeat until I win. His battle music is pretty ok, though. Give it a listen if you want. But it turns out that as a counter to getting a bad nature on Tiny, I just crush Hau's dreams even more by getting a burn on Rowlet turn 1 with Ember. I said I was gonna destroy him, but geez, Tiny, it's the first trainer battle in the game, it's not that serious. Anyway, apparently it's a universal law in the world of Pokemon that your opponents must give you their money when they lose. I mean, I'm not complaining. Money is money, right? Anyway, Hau isn't the least bit sad after I just slaughtered his Rowlet, so let's slide on into Iki Town. More like a village than a town. There's only like, four houses. Whatever, let's blow this town and go find a fun thing to do, like seeing guardian deities. However, instead, we spot a girl who has something that spawned a meme, so she's instantly fine in my book. Anyway, this is one of those rare earlygame differences from the original game. The thing in the girl's bag is going to get out and go on the bridge while some Spearow conveniently show up and fly around it like jerks. You didn't have a Pokemon yet in the original games, but this time, Tiny can show these Spearow how we did it back in Kanto even though Johto is the- Damn this creaky old bridge! Couldn't even take an explosion. Luckily, some weird chicken Pokemon thing saved my character's life before she probably got killed by strong rapids. Then again, this is an E rated game. Only Gen 1 and X and Y were able to get away with talking about death and genocide respectively. That's not the point, though. The bridge is out, so it looks like we're not meeting with any deities today...or at all until postgame. Although the girl, Lillie, hands over a Sparking Stone that is going to become an item I'm not allowed to use. Anyway, after being sworn to secrecy about Nebby, who always gets out of the bag, let's go back to Iki Town. I find it funny that Lillie thinks wild Pokemon will attack on a path where you can't run into any Pokemon. She's so paranoid. Apparently, this girl, who isn't a trainer and has a weird Pokemon who is also a meme, is Kukui's assistant. Bro, you should honestly reconsider your choices in assistants. With that little chat done, the guy we were waiting for, Kahuna Hala is here. I swear, this game has tons of dialogue I would love to skip, just like the upcoming "forced tutorials because you clearly haven't played these games for almost 20 years." Rambling aside, we get a Pokedex, which I am already dreading for reasons to be explained later, and an item that I don't need to explain. On another note, Hala gets that Sparkling Stone because the chicken thing, Tapu Koko, left it behind, and we sure as hell can't do anything with it right now. Nebby needs to learn how to stay in the bag, though. So, skip back to home, where the grand Tiny vs. Mom's Meowth meetup takes place. They're both cats...in a sense, so they should get along well. I don't know. I'm a dog person. Dogs aside, we get our third free heal in the past hour of gameplay, and Kukui is walking inside without permission. Dude, I know that the main character is allowed to do that, but just because you're not wearing a shirt under that lab coat doesn't give you permission to screw the rules too. And now, ladies and gentlemen, it's time for everyone's favorite segment: learning how to catch a Pokemon for the 50,000th time even though you've been playing these games since Gold and Silver. Well, at least I have. Mom isn't going to unpack those boxes. Tutorial, tutorial, and tutorial later, and now...the time has come. Kukui has given us Poke Balls, so now the nuzlocke has officially begun. At any earlier point, if Tiny died somehow in some incident, we'd be fine. Now, though, if Tiny faints, that's it for him. Same goes for whatever my Route 1 proper encounter will be, and let's pray it's something amazing. Grubbin. This is both a meh and a very bad encounter. Early game Bug type with no real redeeming qualities until it gets close to evolution. Luckily, it's an early game Bug type, so it evolves fairly early. The very bad news is that it's final evolution is absolutely unavailable...until the fourth island. I'll be running around with a semi average Bug/Electric type until lategame, and by then, he'll fall behind. Gotta take what you can get in earlygame, though. So, nicknames. It's a Bug type that eventually becomes something that looks fast, but in reality got screwed in terms of base speed. I'm gonna name him...Spark Plug. Neutral nature with a currently useless ability because Swarm only affects Bug type moves when you're at low HP. Welp. Better than nothing, I guess. I'm gonna do a little bit of grinding for Spark Plug real quick and I'll be just a moment. So I just learned that your mom gives you a Poke Ball when you go to heal the first time. On another note, I'm glad that Spark Plug started at Lv. 4. I got him up to Lv. 7 so now he has a semi reliable move in the form of Mud-Slap. It's something, right? Let's just rush through this route and get to the "festival" in Iki Town. On the way there, though, there are a couple of weirdos, one with quite the mustache. They mentioned a Blinding One, but otherwise, a couple of weird people dressed weird. I just noticed there was a dude walking with an Alolan Exeggutor when you walk into Iki Town. That's a bit weird. On another note, there's a real lack of people for a festival, but whatever. We're going to have another chance to completely blow up Hau's team because a part of this festival is to have people battle to please Tapu Koko. Whatever floats their boats, I guess. Unrelated, but Lillie loves to be a contradictory little stizh. "I don't like to see Pokemon get hurt, but I'll watch a battle where Pokemon are going to get hurt because it's Hau and Ruby." Nice logic she has there. For some reason, mom is here too. It doesn't change how badly I'm going to blow up Hau's team again. He has a Pichu now...which would be intimidating if I had Popplio, but I don't. Rowlet is the same song and dance as last time. Spam Ember and you win. No turn 1 burn, though, so eh. After making Hau look like a joke in front of everyone, Hala hands over the Z-Power Ring. However, I already stated I can't use it, so it's just going to be a nice accessory. I honestly prefer the Ultra Sun and Moon version over the original game's version...even though it's just a color difference, but whatever. Now with our island challenge amulet that only me and Hau ever have. So let's go home and listen to weirdos talk some more about aura and light and the Blinding One. At least now we know they're the Ultra Recon Squad. Once again, though, mom hasn't done a thing with those boxes. Instead, she's going to sleep and we get our fifth free heal in the span of an hour or so of gameplay. On the next in game day, though, we get someone at the door who knows proper respect. Then again, all she came to say was that the professor wants to see us. Mom slides us over some money because destroying people's Pokemon and taking their money just isn't enough. Lillie says a very foreshadowy line and we're on our way. So Route 1 is one of Alola's rare examples of being split into segments. We're going into Hau'oli Outskirts, another place with encounters for the catching. Although, my encounter is something I used in my Sun Nuzlocke and it lasted me to the very end. A Slowpoke. Naturally, I'm going to name him Master Derp. On a very unrelated note, I have not saved my game once yet and my 3DS fell off my desk while I was typing. Lucky for me, it didn't freeze because I'm using a digital copy of Ultra Moon. Master Derp on the other hand is actually pretty good. He doesn't really need Speed, so Sassy nature doesn't hurt much. In fact, it's pretty helpful. His moves do leave a little to be desired, though. That will change with time, but for now, let's pay a visit to my least favorite shirtless professor. I promise this will be the last time I mention that for a while. The lab is a little...beaten up. Speaking of beating up, it sounds like Kukui is getting beaten up by his Rockruff inside. His body is ready. Lillie proves once again that she's a terrible assistant who's just living in the loft in Kukui's lab and we take a look inside. To be fair, he's got a nice place. Now, here comes the part where our Pokedex gets the ability to talk. No, I'm serious. A Rotom lives in it (even though you can't catch a Rotom in Alola) and now it can talk because Kukui fixed the dex up. If memory serves, the first thing it says is something along the lines of "hands off the goods." A shame they replaced that and another line that comes up not very far from here. Oh, we get a map too, so that's cool. Now we have no choice but to go to the Trainer's School for tutorials nobody cares about. All I care about over there is my encounter...and who turned out the lights for a sec? That was a bit weird. Whatever. To the Trainer's School for an encounter! However, on the way, we have to get our resident Pokemon Center tutorial. I honestly did need a heal, though, so I had to go in either way. Now, with that out of the way, we interrupt your short stroll to the Trainer's School for a Tauros roadblock. Gotta love how they need to find ways to make the path as linear as possible. So, let's cut to the chase here. Trainer's School is a place for forced tutorials, but we also get one of the most overpowered items in the entire game. This item is the Exp. Share, and this thing will make my life a little easier with level grinding. Speaking of levels, let's go score ourselves an encounter. Meowth. The Alolan variety. I used an Alolan Persian in my casual Moon run, but it kinda fell behind due to being frail. Still, gotta take what we can get. I'm gonna be unoriginal and give him the same nickname as my old Persian, Class Act. He's another shining example of "Quiet nature strikes again." At least Meowth and Persian already have boatloads of Speed to spare. His Attack is kinda trash and he has no special attacks to take advantage of. Raising him up is going to be a pain. Anyway, we're gonna call it there. I gotta do some grinding to raise up the party's levels so we'll be ready for the challenges ahead. Suggest nicknames if that's what your heart desires and I'll see you all next time for Trainer's School and the road to our first trial.

I'm pretty sure some of us know about these kinds of games, heard of them, or even played them a couple of times, myself included. For those don't know what Pokèmon ROM hacks are, they're different versions of Pokèmon games, like Pokèmon Blue or Pokèmon Ruby or Pokèmon X, with different graphics, characters, designs, layouts, storylines, or even different Pokèmon from different generations as well as....Fakemon. Some ROM hacks are complex while others cater to the traditional "8 Gyms, Elite Four, Champion" storyline; others, though interesting, are, sadly incomplete, as a hack, depending on the game and how much you wish to fix, can take quite a while to finish. Much to the fans' lament. Now that the explanation is out of the way, anyone wanna join me in chatting about ROM hacks?