Sollux is (not) the coolest uncle on Earth C

Your character is a troll living on Earth C (age, gender, personality, and blood color are all up to you) who was adopted as a teen and raised by Jake and Dirk after Kanaya insisted that they need something to keep themselves distracted for their own good. Being two humans, Dirk and Jake don't give this troll any knowledge of Alternia or troll history and culture. When Sollux—somewhat of an uncle—decides to come over and gawk at just how terrible his dumb human friends are at parenting, he discovers the worst. The two of them haven't just raised a clueless troll; they've raised cullbait. Sollux asks if he can hang out with this adopted troll for a few days so that they can find out what troll life was actually like. Instead of giving them lessons and guiding them through history like a normal person would, Sollux instead shows the cullbait off to his friends, laughs at their incompetence, and then lets them play video games and eat microwaved pizza rolls in his shitty apartment, as is his nature. It is admittedly better than having two parents who are too distracted by each others' asses to pay any attention to their adopted child, but not by much. This will be a long week.