A Love Worthwhile

[Azalyn]

The time was only a couple of hours prior to midnight. Shae had just left a local bar that she commonly visited for reasons none too healthy. She drank, but only enough to drown out her overbearing emotions. Unfortunately, she was feeling a lot lately — and she hated it. She didn't enjoy the effects alcohol had on her body and psych, but she wanted something to numb that portion of herself. She was walking down her usual pathway back to her mediocre apartment where her three dogs resided. She loved them and they loved her, but she often caught herself overthinking that emotion each time she felt it. Love. There are so many variations of it, how could it be possible to tell the difference between all of them? Shae inhaled deeply at the thought, momentarily holding her breath before releasing in a heavy huff.

The night weather was brisk with an absent harsh breeze poking needles into her soft skin. Her pace was slow and she kept her gaze locked onto the pavement. Shae lost herself in her mind quite easily, especially when thinking about that. The thoughts raced and overlapped one another like a noisy highschool lunchroom. Nothing made sense, yet it did. Her expression portrayed emptiness, but she was anything but. Her body felt heavy as she walked, as if she were carrying two thirty-pound bags on each of her shoulders. The noise around her faded as if pressure were building up in her ears somehow. The sound of cars passing by were muffled. The only thing she could concentrate on was her unsteady breathing. Her heart began to race and with that, her pace followed. She just wanted to get home and sleep. She pulled the long sleeves of her hoodie down over her hands, squeezing the ends slightly between her palms. She was quickly becoming overwhelmed by her mind. Her pace was a steady speed-walk at that point. As she rounded the last corner leading home, her gaze still locked onto the ground, she ran full force into the chest of a tall male figure. Shae stumbled backwards in surprise, immediately apologizing before her gaze traveled upward to the man's face. At that moment, everything seemed to freeze for her. She was met with worried and concerned eyes from the man. But, the thing that made this situation so much worse, was that she knew him.

"Aiden..." Shae mustered in a whisper.

"Why are you out here at night? Do you not realize how much danger you could put yourself in? Drunk, nonetheless." Aiden's voice was deep and raspy. His tone was sharp with her. Though, Shae knew it was only out of care. It still annoyed her.

Aiden was a kind and affectionate man. At first glance, he gave a standoffish, intimidating impression and seemed quite unapproachable. But in truth, he was quite protective, gentle and considerate.

"I'm not drunk. I had a drink." Shae diverted her eyes to the side, looking at nothing particular. She just didn't want to look at Aiden. He had an awful quality being able to read her like an open book.

He knew about her past. More than anyone ever did. Sometimes, she would question if he knew more about herself than she did. She had been mistreated often by people she trusted and felt close with. The only person that stood by her through all her outbursts, mistakes and breakdowns was none other than Aiden.

"I'll take you home. Okay?" His voice had turned soft and gentle with compassion for Shae. He knew she was hurting and just needed someone there with her, even if she wouldn't admit it. He stepped closer to her and wrapped an arm around her, nudging her to walk forward in synch with him. She complied. She admitted silently to herself that she felt safer with Aiden by her side.

They both continued together in silence for the remainder of the walk. Aiden knew not to push her, even though he was dying inside to want to carry her weight. As they finally reached the doorway of Shae's apartment, Aiden lowered his arm off of her as she fumbled to find the right key on her keychain. As she located it, she placed it into the lock and twisted it a few times, jerking them around slightly to trigger the bolts within it. She didn't live in luxury, that's for certain. Aiden rubbed under his chin, chuckling slightly in amusement to her struggle.

"Shut up." Shae responded, teasing him in a playful manner. 

The lock finally clicked loudly, indicating they could enter. She placed her hand gently on the door and gave it a slight push to make it slide back out of their way. She sighed as she stepped inside, sliding her shoes off onto the mat before throwing her keys onto the counter. As Aiden stepped inside and gently shut the door behind himself, the two were quickly met with three fluffy, small dogs who greeted them with enthusiastic tail wags. Shae turned to Aiden with a smile about to speak, only to be met by silent scolding and crossed arms. Her smile faded and her expression changed to her annoyance. The dogs themselves felt the tension in the room, meeting it with quiet whimpers and trodding off to play.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" She spoke quietly, almost to the point she could barely be heard. She was preparing herself for an unpleasant lecture, which she received many of by him due to her poor choices in life.

"I'm angry at you. You care so little about yourself that you don't have the—"

He was cut short by Shae turning away from him, groaning and rubbing her neck with her hand. She didn't want to hear it. She was being incredibly dismissive to him when all he did was care. She walked to the fridge and jerked it open, to which she pulled out a bottle of alcohol. Her actions were met with quick and loud footsteps behind her. The bottle was swiftly ripped out of her hand by Aiden. He was much taller than her, him being nearly six two compared to her measley five foot. He held the bottle up above him knowing that she wouldn't even attempt to get it back. 

"Do you think this is a joke, Shae?! Why do you care so little? Do you want me to walk away like everyone else?!" 

His words stung. Horror was written all over her face by his statement. The silence now between the two was deafening, Aiden's eyes reflecting pain for the girl. He gently sat the bottle down on the nearby counter and took a few steps closer to her, simply wrapping his arms around her in a tight embrace. It was met by nothing in return. Shae felt limp in his arms. He knew of her past, how the people in her life easily left her for her mistakes. The fact that he himself had said something so painstakingly horrible to her left him with an immense sense of guilt and regret.