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Tema

Administrator Rambles: Some things that need to be said

My statement regarding recent events on EcchiDreams...

This probably isn't going to age well, because I think with what's going on in the world right now, we're experiencing some very frayed mental states after being locked down for so long and having lives changed because of pandemic. Now; I realise that this is an extreme minority of people that is causing the majority of the problems, so if you're just trying to do your thing, then please carry on, and I am sorry that this post was necessary. Who knows, this post might have absolutely no meaning in a years time and we'll all look back on it and say "Ah yes, that was a bit of an embarrassing period, oh how we've gotten better since then. I don't even know why I hated X." Ha. One can hope.

I know that Aura has put up a status in regards to some of the recent firestorm that's been going on here over the last few days, yesterday. It's honestly quite well worth the read, because he's right on quite a lot of points, especially when it comes to issues of what's being posted on here. There are other statues made by other dreamers on the various subjects that I will be covering in this, and people who have posted replies to those statuses that I want to address directly as well. But this has been building up, and there's a few things I've noticed over the last month or so. 

Firstly; we are all supposed to be adults, but we are also all human, and all make mistakes. Not a single one of us can claim that we're perfect, unless it's perfectly imperfect. It is a shame that no one has apparently read my recent news article where I said:

Quote

...It is extremely important right now, in a time were we must remain apart, that we must come together in spirit. Now more than ever, we need to bring comfort and love to help and support each other. 

EcchiDreams is absolutely here to escape from what's going on in the real world...

Read more: EcchiDreams Newsletter (April 2020)

Political Activism on EcchiDreams

EcchiDreams should not a place where you do your political activism. Should doesn't mean that it's against the rules, and absolutely not allowed by the way.

Politics has become so highly charged and polarised over the last decade and it's not showing signs of stopping this trend any time soon. If you are one side of the political spectrum and you're doing your political activism here, you can expect someone on the other-side to do their political activism on here too, and this is where things are going to go tits up very quickly, because seldom can one side respect another sides personal or political views and not get branded every buzzword under the sun, "Racist, Sexist, Cuck, Simp, Facist, Commie" etc, etc... Even what might seem like a politically neutral or a politically universal statement can be twisted into proof that you're an X, Y and Z. Which is extemely unfortunate, because everyone is going to have different opinions or view points. Just because it doesn't match up to yours or your purity tests, doesn't mean that, that person is sub-human or not even worth talking to. Just agree to disagree and move on.

As I keep saying: We're not going to stop you from discussing politics here on EcchiDreams, however my advice is to do so in EcchiTexts or something. Whilst political opinions are allowed to be discussed openly by nature of Section 15 (Freedom of Speech; so long as it doesn't violate the universal rights of another person) just be aware of what you're getting yourself into by sharing your political views, and that other people on the site might not want to hear them, for one reason or another, or have opposing views that they're going to share... If you can't take it, don't dish it out, but ultimately that is your choice to make, not ours to make it for you. And I stand by that. 

I do not think it's feasible to outright ban political discussion on EcchiDreams even if I "personally" wanted to, which I don't despite how divisive it is and how it's causing more problems than it's worth because just about everything can be turned into a political matter. Political activism that bullies others no matter which side of the political spectrum you're on isn't really against the rules on the face of it, but don't expect it to be tolerated (on a social level) here. Free Speech does indeed have social consequences, yes, but to start an harassment campaign on the other hand is against the Terms of Service. If you can't handle it, ignore the Dreamer in question and move on. Stay ignoring them and don't use it as a shield to hurl abuse and harassment at them, we will be working on the Terms of Service to cover this in future.

Note to those who have been a victim to this: Due to the nature of our Terms of Service, we can't retroactively punish people for a rule that didn't exist when the offence was committed. Which is why we are trying to work on this as quickly as possible. 

I will also say that we've had a number of reports about political stuff being posted in statues, but we're not going to do anything about it. At the end of the say what people post in their statuses, is their business, and it's allowed so long as they're not actively calling for the violation of someone or a groups universal rights, we won't do anything about it.

Free Speech on EcchiDreams

We prided ourselves that we've had free speech on this platform for a long time, and that people have been able to say what they want (So long as it isn't a violation of someone elses universal rights) and they've chosen to use this to spread positivism and happiness without being compelled to. Compelled speech is not free speech, that is you being forced to say something that you don't think is true, as if you don't have a free-thinking mind, and that to me, can be just as bad as censorship, because you're not allowed your own opinion, and you have to say what the other person wants to hear because of their sensibilities and apparently yours can go fuck itself.

You're not going to agree with everything you read on here, hell I don't agree with half of the things that goes on here, especially when it comes to roleplaying certain subjects, or certain political opinions that are spouted as gospel, and if you stray from that path you're a heretic that must be struck down. 

Free Speech doesn't mean freedom to post what you want without social consequences, even if it doesn't violate the rules. But there's a fine line between voicing your disagreement (Which you have a right to do) and harassing that person for it (Which you don't have the right to do).

There are options if you don't like what you're reading and you don't want to cast your opinion:

  • Roll your eyes, stop reading and move on. 
  • Literally ignore them.
  • Ignore them through the ignore system (https://ecchidreams.com/ignore)
    • Although I am aware that it doesn't block their statuses from appearing in the activity feed. The mitigation for that is to make your own activity feed that you have a bit more control over what is on it and what isn't, you can block statuses from appearing on it for example full stop (https://ecchidreams.com/discover/?do=create) or create an activity feed containing content of people you follow only. 

If you want to post your opinions, then again be aware of what you might be getting yourself into, and feel free. If you're respectful and courteous and the other person descends into insults and chaos, everyone will see that and it will say more about that person than it does about you.

Or set up a blanket policy for yourself that you won't talk about certain subjects, I do, and I try to stick by it nowerdays. For example, I am religious, yet I don't feel the need to constantly bring it up and tell everything to seek the path of the divines and all that jazz. 

However you want to deal with it, is ultimately up to you, but please recognise when the right time to pull away is.

Roleplays in Statuses

The same thing I said about political posts applies here too: we've had a number of reports about people roleplaying in statues, but we're not going to do anything about it. At the end of the say what people post in their statuses, is their business, and it's allowed so long as... you get the point. I don't personally like it, but my feelings on the matter doesn't matter, because it's not against the Terms of Service, and just because I'm one of the Community Administrators, and I don't like it, it doesn't mean I'm going to stop it.

I would *personally* prefer that roleplays were done in the designated areas, but that's not going to be enforced. If you prefer roleplaying in your statuses then be my guest, I guess.

However don't rail topics on the forums with it, especially where it's not called for - such an example is the Lets be Honest about Sex topic where I actually moved a lot of that and other off topic posts to Ecchia's Collection of Off-Topic posts. To which I issued a polite notice and have been happy that it's not happened again.

Now; I completely understand the argument of not wanting to read scat stuff. Personally I think it's absolutely fucking nasty, but I rather think that when someone says (And I am literally quoting here):

Quote

"You toilet awaits." He said and opened his mouth wide.

That it really doesn't take a big brained genius to figure out where that's going. If you're uncomfortable with it, then it's probably best to just leave them to it, and ignore it. Individual replies as far as I am aware don't appear in the activity feed, unless it's under the direct status and even then it's only the last few replies, so I really don't see the problem here.

We did once have a system before the clubs where roleplays took place in forums where if you were doing a side story you had to tag the subjects that would be touched upon such as (For example) Rape, Drugged, BDSM, etc. Or if it had particularly extreme content to state it in the opening post "This topic contains: Scat - if you don't want to read it, don't.", for example. 

This is a little difficult with statuses, granted, but not impossible, and again - not enforced. 

I would also ask for some consistency, if you're going to bemoan someone from doing X, and yet when its your friends that are doing it, you don't utter a single word... That, that comes off as extremely hypocritical and therefore it shouldn't come off as a surprise when you're called out on that. I've seen this happen about four or five times in different areas this year and I figured it was right to put this in here. 

Inconsolable Disagreements with Other Dreamers

We are not always going to see eye to eye, we're a wide range of people from a very wide range of different backgrounds, we have everything from people who are unemployed to people who work in professional careers on here. I know of Dreamers who in their day jobs they're solicitors, programmers, doctors, police and security, fire fighters, business owners and so on, I also know that there are a few who work retail like supermarkets, fast-food chains, and so on as well as people who are unemployed and both looking and not looking for work, disabled and otherwise. I've found that some of you are on some kind of autistic spectrum, or have some other mental issue that affects you, but none of this... Not any single difference I've pointed out is an excuse to act like an absolute narcissistic arsehole and cause other people, trouble. But at the same time I would ask that everyone is mindful of this. 

It's therefore not difficult to realise that a number of people here are going to have wildly different political views, and some even polar opposite. It's my experience here that most people are either Centrist in their views, or more right-learning, but there are also more left-leaning people and (I say this from a very centrist point of view), outright far-left and far-right views, although the latter two are very fringe on here. 

There is also going to be a wild difference of opinion on what is and isn't acceptable. What is and isn't acceptable is largely laid out in the Terms of Service, it's not perfect - because it was created by humans who aren't perfect. But we work on it, and update it as and when it's absolutely required, and we generally inform the users when it's been updated and what sections have been updated. 

What I don't like seeing is when these differences pop up and people start getting blocked is to then go out of ones way to contact that person that's been blocked to start shit with them and then use the blocking as a shield to prevent them from saying "Excuse me, could you not contact me anymore, please?" We're going to be tweaking or putting into policy ways of dealing with this abuse as I stated earlier, but it's going to take us a little time. If you don't like another Dreamer to such an extent, then ignore them (Either literally or by the systems in place) and put them out of your mind. Otherwise they're living rent-free in your head, which is not good for you or your mental health. 

We are all here because we have something in common. Just because we don't agree to everything doesn't mean we can't have fun in the one thing that we have in common. I wish we could just leave our differences with each other at the proverbial door, and just get on like adults, but increasingly it's becoming apparent that not everyone seems to be capable of this which is why these systems are in place.

Miscellaneous

Some other things that I wanted to point out that don't need entire paragraphs:

  • You are not allowed to ban specific people from posting on your topics, and I don't know where the idea that you could do this has come from. Even if you've told the person to stop contacting you, and they post on your topic to take part in the topic without addressing you, that's perfectly allowed under the Terms of Service. 
  • Pictures of real life minors are not accepted on this site, or it's discord server. There is literally no excuse why you should be posting up pictures of real life children/teenagers under 18, on this site. Please read Section 18 of the Terms of Service.
  • The Tag System is not supposed to be abused to put in your hate towards other people, or enforcing authoritarian standards. The tag system is used to describe the content of which is tagged so that it can be easily searchable, tags that fail to do this will be removed at a staff members discretion. 
  • You are not allowed duplicate accounts on here, if we're absolutely sure you're duplicate accounting, we will take action. If we suspect we will be keeping a very close eye on your account(s) and collect evidence. We make this very clear on the registration page, and we also make this very clear in the Terms of Service. The excuse of "I wanted multiple personas and accounts to reflect my different characters" isn't going to wash. Although we do have a feature coming up that will satisfy the apparent demand for this.
  • GIFs are not allowed on the Gallery (/gallery/) This is something that is clearly stated in the categories of the gallery. 
  • Just because other sites and platforms allow you to do X, doesn't mean we should, could, or do. You should read the Terms of Service. I bet we do things that other platforms and sites don't do. It's not their responsibility to make their platform like ours, and it's not our responsibility to make ours like theirs. Different sites have different rules, and procedures, don't like it? Well, we're a private entity and we can do what we like (Within the bounds of the law) including dictate our own polices, so... yeah. You're free to make suggestions by all means, but when you're caught out on bad behaviour; the excuse, that's been used time and time again of "I'm allowed to do this on (Some other website)." Is not going to wash, has never washed, and frankly it's immaterial. 

Closing Thoughts/TL;DR

Look. I would like you guys to make more of an effort to get on with each other. If you can't do that you should just ignore (or literally ignore) the other Dreamer in question and just move on, don't keep making things hostile after doing so because that's not ignoring them. I'm not going to force you all to play nice, but the time has come where I have to put my open my mouth (Or in this case move my fingers and press a few buttons) to say 'Stop. Enough is enough. Act your age.' We've had a lot of people over the last month deactivate their accounts, and I can see why from the reasons that they've left, and can't blame them. Because it's becoming a very hostile environment, where your not allowed to even voice your opinions on anything without the bullying. Because that is what it comes down to: Bullying. You can disagree with peoples opinions and that's fine, and social consequences and all of that, but at the same time there needs to be line drawn somewhere. If you disagree with me to the point that you want to close your account then by all means do so. But this is not what EcchiDreams is supposed to be, granted it's not supposed to be a safe-space echo chamber either, but why can't we have disagreements and still act like adults? I want to hope that you can do this, but over the last month or so, I'm not so sure that some of you really can, and ultimately... That's disappointing. 

I want things to change. I want things to get better. But importantly, 

I want you all to stay safe and take care. 

Lots of love (Because, yes, I am capable of that), 

Temaelrin

P.s. Feel free to comment on this article, comments are open below as always. 

Edited by Temaelrin

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Neptune

Posted

I have been on Leave of Absence for the last month, as I've had a very rough month that has been very hard on me and my family. I was not expecting to come back to see the kind of shit flying around on this site.

I'm not angry. I'm just very disappointed, and pretty upset that the fun and friendly community that I've helped to create has become so hostile. It's honestly heartbreaking.

I've seen a lot of shit on this site, and seen a lot of trouble makers. But this is the first time I've ever truly felt disappointed. It really leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.

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Dozle The Crusader

Posted

i my self have not liked what is going on i was gone for like 2 weeeks and a lot of drama came around i still love this site in all of my crusaders little heart  bu seeing so much negative going on almost made my want o keep my break going but i have to many awesome friends to walk away anylonger i my self beed dealing with family problems and it has messed up on what time i go to sleep cause im that worried  i want to spread the awesomness of this site not bring pain to tohers 

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JennyDK

Posted

As someone who has been wronged by this behaviour twice now, I can honestly say that I very much am happy this is getting adressed, but I am saddened by the fact that it needed to be said. I know I am not always the most politically correct (check title here) and I personally have shifted in my political views quite a bit (we all change throughout life after all), but when I act and talk in a calm and polite fashion, that gives no one the right to start freaking out on me for no reason.

Are we going to get along 100% of the time? Absolutely not and it is utterly naive to even think that is possible. Do people piss me off at times? Yes, of course. The adult thing is to either let it go, talk about it in a productive manner or completely avoid that person or that/those topics. There are so many better option than behave like a fucking child who thinks throwing temper tantrums gives them the high ground or make them more right. I have learned more and more to avoid those people. Sadly, we now see how even that still brings those people to toss shit at you.
===========
Now to the positive side of all of this (real talk and all that huplah!):

I really, really love being here and engaging in fun times with nearly everyone I have ever met here and talk to regularly. So much positivity, so many nice people and plenty of creative effort and ideas. It's places like this that made me realize what a cesspoll I used to visit (F-List) and that we have places where freedom of speech is allowed and practiced in many different ways.
Every day is a lot of fun in many different ways and there is generally high empathy and general understanding of each other. We are all very different and while it can sometimes divide us, I think it is best to focus on those many other aspects where it brings us together as a community. There are so many wonderful people who do know how to act like grown-up (to the extent we need xD) and make this an amazing place to be and community.

I want to be very honest here: I still deal with some mental health issues, but I can genuinely say that a lot of people here support me very well and help to build around the foundation that I get from regular therapy. So while incidents like the past week or so are very bad and regrettable, it shall not take away from the 98% positiveness I have gotten out from visiting here.

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Eros Angel

Posted

While I get along with others pretty well usually, I am one of the primary offenders of status update Roleplay and the conveyor of barf worthy public filth. In addition derailing threads with sexy RPing seems to also be primarily me as far as I can tell.

I sincerely apologize.

Ok Dokey, I shall stick to appropriate role play channels now and continue trying to remember not to go off topic.

 

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WritesNaughtyStories

Posted

As the guy who got quoted - I'm going to say I think @Temaelrin has a point. The bulk of that was pretty deeply buried, if, however, you somehow stumbled on it and were grossed out, I do apologize. Especially since it was not the first time.

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Kerzin Kalamond

Posted

I only want to say two things.

I like turtles. 
 

That is a really big read for ‘Don’t be a dick.’ It is pretty simple to me, it is like ‘Do you want somebody verbally harassing you?’ No? Then why you doing it to another? Don't be a dick and get your head out of your own ass. 

I am not a word poet like most of you as I am very much a blunt person. When I get ignored I take the hint and stop bugging the person, I don’t want a person bugging me and I don't want to bug them. It's a site to share and build fun and amusing stories together, try to keep the drama out of it right?

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Peculiaritree

Posted

I am equal parts relieved and frustrated that my thoughts about the increasing community divisions in EcchiDreams have been validated by official statements. Relieved, because for some time I was worried that my sense of perspective had been distorted by recent events, and frustrated because, well...

I used to like logging in, dammit. Now I find myself thinking, "Oh, gee, I wonder who will have gotten into a stupid, pointless argument over nothing of import today?" It's disheartening. This is supposed to be a place for fun. it's literally a site about sex! What's more fun than sex? (Aside from cookies, of course :3)

Personally, I don't have any issue with political discourse appearing on the site, but that's because I'm one of those odd bastards who actually enjoys good-faith political discussion. What I'm seeing now? This isn't good-faith discussion. It's the exact kind of vitriolic, unreasoning, spiteful nonsense that makes me want to hurl something across the room every time I see it on TV or online or even in person.

I'm with Nep on this one. I'm disappointed. I'm disappointed because I know we can do better. I'm disappointed because, when I was a substitute teacher, I saw children treat each other with appropriate respect and compassion. If they can do it, then why can't we, the supposed "mature" ones?

At the end of the day, I don't like watching my friends fight each other. Please be kind.

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Hey man, as long as people don't say patently wrong and hurtful stuff and plug their ears, I enjoy a good natured debate as much as anyone.

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WritesNaughtyStories

Posted

The cynical old man in me has this to say, "Best to stop talking about it before it becomes an argument about the old argument." Recursion isn't always amusing.

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nicjomo

Posted

I honestly want to hop aboard the train, I guess, and say that it is disappointing. It sucks when such a fun little community of sex and debauchery and whatnot...is turning into people against one another. There was a user that said that real world stuff shouldn't be brought into here. And while you can't control what people can or cannot say... I somewhat agree to that. This site is my escape, just like Im sure it is for anyone else. I deal with a lot of drama and bullshit at work. He said, she said... a bunch of adults older than I back stabbing, spreading rumors, creating lies. granted, I havent seen ALL of that on ED, but to see arguing about things that a simple message in private (like people constantly say on here), that go on (and of course, Im a curious shit who wants to read the whole story...gah!)...like... thats the shit Im trying to escape each day at work, or between friends. 

I'm not the most popular guy on the site, nor am I the best rper. And in no way am I trying to start anything up. There are plenty of you who put a smile on my face, or a laugh when I comment on some forum game. I just want people to respect and love each other and have fun. Especially in these times... United we stand, divided we fall. 

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Tema

Posted

Just a few things:

  1. I've updated the miscellaneous section as I had forgotten to add something, "Just because other sites and platforms allow you to do X, doesn't mean we should, could, or do..."
  2. It's a bit of a rough read and a wall of text but I appreciate the time that people have taken and engaged with this post and I also appreciate the feedback. Thank you, everyone.
  3. I will add in a more positive news at least, is the amount of section 18 violations of posting drawn depictions of minors on the site has had a sharp decrease, and I thank you all for that. 

I will respond to people below:

14 hours ago, Dozle The Crusader said:

i my self have not liked what is going on i was gone for like 2 weeeks and a lot of drama came around i still love this site in all of my crusaders little heart  bu seeing so much negative going on almost made my want o keep my break going

This is partly why I am on LoA at the moment, so I can sympathise. Granted though a major part of why I am on LoA is because I have a lot of IRL obligations and stuff that I need to take care of, and it's gotten me bogged down, but I used to enjoy coming back on here after a hard days work and just read some of the discussions and stuff that was going on around the site. Maybe even stick my oar in the water and row my own little boat in the flow of conversation, and the such. Now I'm worried about the sharks that are going to bite my oar off. I get it. Lock down fever is real, it's like cabin fever, people are going stir crazy. But I think this is why we need to be a little bit more understanding and compassionate. 

14 hours ago, JennyDK said:

I want to be very honest here: I still deal with some mental health issues, but I can genuinely say that a lot of people here support me very well and help to build around the foundation that I get from regular therapy. So while incidents like the past week or so are very bad and regrettable, it shall not take away from the 98% positiveness I have gotten out from visiting here.

No, and it is very easy to allow the negative (Even if it is in small minute quantities) to outweigh the positives. I agree.

14 hours ago, Eros Angel said:

Ok Dokey, I shall stick to appropriate role play channels now and continue trying to remember not to go off topic.

Please be aware that I only put what I put from a personal perspective, you're free to carry on in your statuses, but perhaps a compromise: if you're going to be doing shit like - well, shit play, then could you please possibly tag it, or warn others that, this is what's going to happen? I'm not saying you absolutely should do this and you'll be banned otherwise, but it's a suggestion that I've seen from @ThatLewdCat and I think it's a reasonable compromise. It's something to consider, and again, it's not enforced, nor will it be enforced at least in the foreseeable future.

13 hours ago, WritesNaughtyStories said:

As the guy who got quoted - I'm going to say I think @Temaelrin has a point. The bulk of that was pretty deeply buried, if, however, you somehow stumbled on it and were grossed out, I do apologize. Especially since it was not the first time.

No worries, man. Despite my personal views on it, you're not banned from roleplaying it. What you consenting adults get up to, is not really any of my business. I can understand it from both sides, I really can. 

13 hours ago, Kerzin Kalamond said:

That is a really big read for ‘Don’t be a dick.’ It is pretty simple to me, it is like ‘Do you want somebody verbally harassing you?’ No? Then why you doing it to another? Don't be a dick and get your head out of your own ass. 

Perhaps that's all this should have been. Just five simple words: Please stop being a dick. 😄 

But you're pretty much right there. Also:

asdf movie GIF

11 hours ago, Peculiaritree said:

I am equal parts relieved and frustrated that my thoughts about the increasing community divisions in EcchiDreams have been validated by official statements. Relieved, because for some time I was worried that my sense of perspective had been distorted by recent events, and frustrated because, well...

I used to like logging in, dammit. Now I find myself thinking, "Oh, gee, I wonder who will have gotten into a stupid, pointless argument over nothing of import today?" It's disheartening. This is supposed to be a place for fun. it's literally a site about sex! What's more fun than sex? (Aside from cookies, of course :3)

Personally, I don't have any issue with political discourse appearing on the site, but that's because I'm one of those odd bastards who actually enjoys good-faith political discussion. What I'm seeing now? This isn't good-faith discussion. It's the exact kind of vitriolic, unreasoning, spiteful nonsense that makes me want to hurl something across the room every time I see it on TV or online or even in person.

I'm with Nep on this one. I'm disappointed. I'm disappointed because I know we can do better. I'm disappointed because, when I was a substitute teacher, I saw children treat each other with appropriate respect and compassion. If they can do it, then why can't we, the supposed "mature" ones?

At the end of the day, I don't like watching my friends fight each other. Please be kind.

Exactly this. At one point a few weeks ago, every time I'd wake up in the morning and sit in front of my computer with a steaming hot cup of coffee, and waking up (I'm not a morning person, at all) I'd come on and find an ass-load of notifications and reports in the report centre. "Oh well, suck it up. That's part of running a site, that's the responsibility you took on.", Right? Well fair enough. But most of it was un-actionable and stems from drama that was going on all over the place, personal disagreements, and the like. Sometimes there would be no reports and a shit load of drama going down. Seriously surprised it hasn't sparked up a cottage industry of someone doing EcchiDreams Drama News videos or something. xD

It got to the point that by the time I'd finished, I needed a new cup of coffee, because my hot cup would be cold by the time I got to it. That makes me a very unhappy administrator... Well until I get a fresh cup of 'wake the fuck up'. 

10 hours ago, Buio said:

Hey man, as long as people don't say patently wrong and hurtful stuff and plug their ears, I enjoy a good natured debate as much as anyone.

Problem is, what an individual defines as "patently wrong and hurtful stuff" is not going to be the same as what other people define it as, but to be fair, that's probably a debate in its own right. I'm not really one who likes to "Debate" as such, especially with people I've hardly ever spoken to before. To conversate with someone I disagree with, even at a fundamental level, I have enjoyed doing in the past with reasonable people who want to have that conversation, but a conversation is a lot different to a debate - to me anyway - a conversation is a lot less formal. I almost never do it online though, because I find speaking to the person face to face to just be better for both sides. 

But I get what you're saying and I understand where you're coming from. You see something that you believe is absolutely false, and you want to say something about it. No one can begrudge you of that. It's just were things start going off the rails, that I'm concerned about. You're absolutely entitled to your own political beliefs, just as everyone else is to theirs. 🙂

8 hours ago, nicjomo said:

I honestly want to hop aboard the train, I guess, and say that it is disappointing. It sucks when such a fun little community of sex and debauchery and whatnot...is turning into people against one another. There was a user that said that real world stuff shouldn't be brought into here. And while you can't control what people can or cannot say... I somewhat agree to that. This site is my escape, just like Im sure it is for anyone else. I deal with a lot of drama and bullshit at work. He said, she said... a bunch of adults older than I back stabbing, spreading rumors, creating lies. granted, I havent seen ALL of that on ED, but to see arguing about things that a simple message in private (like people constantly say on here), that go on (and of course, Im a curious shit who wants to read the whole story...gah!)...like... thats the shit Im trying to escape each day at work, or between friends. 

I'm not the most popular guy on the site, nor am I the best rper. And in no way am I trying to start anything up. There are plenty of you who put a smile on my face, or a laugh when I comment on some forum game. I just want people to respect and love each other and have fun. Especially in these times... United we stand, divided we fall. 

It is a very small minority of interactions to be fair. You are right though its an adult community, and it's certain subjects that are turning people against each other, totally spot on. To some degree I agree with the statement that real wolf stuff should probably be left at the proverbial door, but I wouldn't make it a rule, because I often find that blanket rules like that tend to sweep up innocent conversation like for example; what if a Dreamer wanted feedback and advice about what colour to paint their new orgy-sex room or something like that? I dunno. Just tossing that one out there. xD

But you would - I think - be in the majority of Dreamers, who use our site to delve into fantasy and escape the bullshit that is going on IRL right now. That is pretty much why the site was created in the first place, because four friends wanted to roleplay somewhere to get away from IRL crap, and other sites were not very good at the time.

But I absolutely agree with your last statement. Indeed; united we stand, divided we fall. 


Thank you again, for everyone's replies. I'm going to give you all love reacts. It was nice waking up to this, but my coffee has gone cold again... Yet strangely I'm not annoyed about it. Still going to get a refreshed coffee though. Oh yeah, and I had no idea that I could highlight "Recommended" comments until yesterday. That was a surprise even to me. Not sure if I should be concerned that I didn't know a feature existed, or amazed. Thanks IPS. xD

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Lollipop

Posted

I know I may be late, but being someone who missed most of what was happening as it was happening and doing what digging I could I would like to offer my two cents if that's okay. I've been off and on the site the past week or so because...well life, and managed to miss most of the drama that was going on. But upon me trying to get back into my usual routine on the site, I found some disturbing stuff in one of the forum games I liked to lurk in a then after looking through statuses found that an argument had spiraled out of control and spread to other areas of the site. 

From what I could tell the disagreement started over a status update put up by another Dreamer reflecting on the current events happening here in the US. I've seen some dreamers post that stuff out side of being fun or sexy isn't really what the site is for, despite over the more than a year I've been here, I have seen multiple users make post about the stuff that's affecting their daily lives on a regular basis. From mental illness, to personal stress, to a number of other issues. And not once have I seen any one treat those post anything less than kindness and understanding. Maybe that's my personal experience, but it's one of the reasons I like the site.

By my account of what happened, no one involved in the discourse that happen on the site in the past week free of any guilt. Aside from the Dreamer who made the original post that started all of this, who was just trying to vent. No one else involved seemed did anything to actually de-escalate what was happening, and it seemed some were even doing their best to just pour oil on the fire. I'm not saying this to point fingers or start a fight, but to make sure those involved hold themselves accountable for their own actions. 

That being said, I want ask that people try to remember other people feelings when making post. Ever since reading some of the stuff posted in one of the forum game that's been shut down, I have felt highly uncomfortable.  I've been here working on two years now, and not once have I seen any of the kind of content that I saw posted there. And before that was something I really liked about this site. We might all be lewd, but it seemed like even some content people refrained from posting because its known to be highly offensive to some people. Again, maybe that's just been my experience on this site. I'm not making a demand or askng for a rule to be added, just that people try to remember some other Dreamers find stuff like that and when posted in public forums or can make some of us highly uncomfortable and ruin the experience of the site for us.

If any of this is off base, please tell me. If I'm wrong about anything please tell me. And if my expectations of what this site had been or is, is not correct please tell me. I by no means wish to unfair and if I'm wrong about something I would like to be told.

 

Again I'm sorry this is so late, and I'm sorry it's long. I just wanted to get that off my chest.

 

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I've been trying to make an effort to be more positive towards people as of late..............I think the situation between @XenoSera and I was eye opening, cuz I've been trying to do better since.  I'm not perfect of course........nor am I an angel, but there has been some good that's come out of all of this. Xenosera and I were able to achieve this by talking to each other privately. we requested @Temaelrin to be a third party arbitrator as he wouldn't be taking one side over the other. he mainly stayed quiet becoz he was going to jump and stop us from rippin' each others e-faces off, which he didn't need to do in the end cuz it was constructive and we both spoke to each other like adults. we were able to resolve this shit and while I've not spoken to XenoSera since, I wouldn't mind speakin' to her again. Ima just not sure what we can talk about, I think we have very little in common. but at least we're not hostile with each other.

but I know I've been a part of the problem and all I can really say is....I'm sorry to everyone. I'm trying to be a better person but who knows, I only really know how to be an arsehole. I see people acting like a piece of shit and I want to treat them like a piece of shit......but that's kinda toxic and I should find other more "constructive ways" of dealing with it. something Tema said is that "two wrongs don't make a right" and he's right. I'm still workin' on it.

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On 09/06/2020 at 15:36, Lollipop said:

If any of this is off base, please tell me. If I'm wrong about anything please tell me. And if my expectations of what this site had been or is, is not correct please tell me. I by no means wish to unfair and if I'm wrong about something I would like to be told.

Again I'm sorry this is so late, and I'm sorry it's long. I just wanted to get that off my chest.

Not at all, Lollipop, I wanted the feedback, and I wanted people to put up how they feel about things, like you did. You're absolutely right to post what you posted up, there's nothing wrong with it at all. Thank you for sharing it. 

7 minutes ago, Whoreo said:

I've been trying to make an effort to be more positive towards people as of late..............I think the situation between @XenoSera and I was eye opening, cuz I've been trying to do better since.  I'm not perfect of course........nor am I an angel, but there has been some good that's come out of all of this. Xenosera and I were able to achieve this by talking to each other privately. we requested @Temaelrin to be a third party arbitrator as he wouldn't be taking one side over the other. he mainly stayed quiet becoz he was going to jump and stop us from rippin' each others e-faces off, which he didn't need to do in the end cuz it was constructive and we both spoke to each other like adults. we were able to resolve this shit and while I've not spoken to XenoSera since, I wouldn't mind speakin' to her again. Ima just not sure what we can talk about, I think we have very little in common. but at least we're not hostile with each other.

but I know I've been a part of the problem and all I can really say is....I'm sorry to everyone. I'm trying to be a better person but who knows, I only really know how to be an arsehole. I see people acting like a piece of shit and I want to treat them like a piece of shit......but that's kinda toxic and I should find other more "constructive ways" of dealing with it. something Tema said is that "two wrongs don't make a right" and he's right. I'm still workin' on it.

I think it's big of you to apologise for your part in the month of antics and so forth and I'm glad to hear that you're working on it. I would love to see a more positive you on this forum because I know you're capable of being nice, Whoreo. You're also capable of being extremely smart and helpful when you want to be. I am glad to hear that your conflict with Xeno is still over, and that you've not sparked it back up. Kudos to both of you. 🙂

I know you're absolutely not going to get along with absolutely everyone, but as you said, you're going to try and find a more constructive way of dealing with it. I wish you luck on that task. But I will point out that your antics only makes up for like less than 2% of whats been going on around here over the last few months, so don't feel you be shouldering the majority of the blame. ... Although this isn't really a blame article either. 

Thank you, though. I look forward to seeing you move past your irritabilities and try to focus on more positive stuff. 

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Darkest King

Posted

I'm new here, so I wasn't here for any of this supposed drama that went down and I'm not sure exactly how deeply I want to read about it, but I will tell you that reading what I did gave me a bit of comfort being here.

I am what you might call an "Anti SJW". It is not because I disagree with any or all SJW goals and politics but almost purely because my identity as a Gamer (and a moderate centrist ((see: disgusting fencesitter)) in general) tends to get me lumped into the "enemy" camp by default. Extremism is rampant in the western world today and me... I just want to hunt monsters and fuck giant titties. I don't want to discuss how unfairly this group or that group gets treated by the gub'ment, or whether or not capitalism is an ultimate evil that needs to be purged.

I don't mind if people don't agree with me on abortion or whatever, and it's refreshing to see that regardless of what I believe, it will not be condoned to harass me for it. I absolutely have no intent to harass anyone or even ask them what they believe or why. Like I said, I'm not here for that. I'm here for... well I already said what I'm here for. lol

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