[Legend of Zelda] The Shota Shuffle [Prompt]

Bringing back Link's first adversary in Ocarina of Time, the original hater... Mido!

Yes, that's right. A glorified schoolyard bully who is soooooo jealous of Link.  Link has everything he wants, popularity, Saria's attention, the Great Deku Tree's favor. All his attempts to show Link up, end up in flames. It seems like Mido can't win against Mr. No Fairy. It's like he has the fate of a legendary hero behind him). Even his Kokiri Blade (3 inches) is no match for Link's Master Sword (8+ inches).

But one of Mido's goons, in a surprising turn of events, provides some good advice -- "If you can't beat him, join him." -- if he can't beat Link, be him!

Pick a few shrooms from the Lost Woods. Mash them up. Boom, bam, bam. Feed it to the chump. Now he's the blond pretty boy with a knee clapping Deku stick and Link is the chubby redhead.  Taking over Link's spot as the most popular Kokiri (and Hero of Fate).

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The shota swap-out pays big dividends for Mido, as he becomes not only the Big Boss of the Kokiri but also the most popular guy around!  Just ask all these babes that keep showing up.

- Saria, Fado, the twins in the Kokiri Forest!
- Princess Ruto ends up swimming down the stream!
- A pretty ranch girl gets lost in the Kokiri Woods.
- Even Princess Zelda takes shelter in their home.

Mido steals the title of [HAREM PROTAGONIST]. This minor NPC becoming the big boss of destiny.

I'm looking for a Mido. I'll RP multiple characters/scenarios, as fate seems deadset on delivering ladies to Mido's doorstep. It's going to be real tough for Link. Those huts have no sound-proofing!