Greetings, friends.
Help yourself to some hot cocao and join me around the hearth as I tell you my tale.
I hail from a distant planet; far, far beyond your stars.
Many eons ago, when chocolate was salty and bacon was sweet, I had a marvelous vision.
In this vision, I saw a land where flowed rivers of delicious honey...
A land where the sun always shoneth...
A land filled... with adorable catgirls.
I awoke from my slumber and knew, right there and then, my purpose: I would find this place, this paradise, this oasis, and make it my home.
I vowed I would not rest until I reached it. I would face any obstacle, pay any price... I would let nothing get in my way, nothing would stand between me and my destiny.
And so, for millennia, I travelled the galaxy. I knew not where to go, but I had faith the spirits of my ancestors would guide me.
I fought off giant space crabs, space pirates, robots... giant robotic space pirate crabs, and more. Heck, the things I've seen would've driven any other man insane.
Even now, they give me nightmares.
But I had something to cling onto during those horrible, horrible years; and now I know, it wasn't for nothing.
tl;dr Hey, nice to meet ya'.