Cash Money Chad

Would it sound stupid if I said I wanted to go for the world record?

How would I be able to to fit 250 pancakes into my stomach?

Wet noodle died because he was standing next to me when the hulk whipped that big green dick around.

*watches the kissing*

Isabella died getting fucked to death by the incredible hulk

Julia walked out onto the beach and saw that two women were already having sex, and a guy was sitting there just relaxing and taking a load off. Both looked nice but she was here to do one thing, for now at least, and that thing was surf. With a deep breath she looked out onto the water and watched the waves roll in. "That's what I'm talking about!" Eager she picked up her board and ran out onto the water diving in and laying on the board with her belly. She paddled out onto he water keeping a a focused eye on the waves that were drawing closer and closer to her. To get as far as she wanted to go she had to ride the smaller waves until she could turn her board around and catch a big one. When she finally did she let the wave pick her and her board up and she shifted her body weight to ride along the wave with the back of her board.

Hey! people like that I have a care free attitude and that I don't get emotional. .or even have them at all..I might as well be with the people who appreciate me..we are done!

OR have you?

David closed the medicine cabinet and took a good look at him self in the mirror. He splashed some water on his face trying to compose him self, but the feeling of exhaustion still remained. Once he shook his head he grabbed a pair of baby scissors and started cutting off any scraggily ends on his beard. Examining his beard he saw a little scratch on his cheek, he looked him self in the eyes and remembered where that scratch came from. Coming to his senses he went back out into his living room, plopping down on the couch caused it to sink the creaking of it sounded like it was about to loose it's integrity. It didn't bother him too much though, he just aid around with an utter lack of care. suddenly he heard someone shouting from the ground floor in front of his window, the voice sounded familiar, it was his friend Mike. so to see what he wanted he got off the couch and jumped over the coffee table, easily clearing the obstacle. The announcement could be heard loud and clear by everyone within ear shot. "WE ARE GOING TO THE PONY TO GET BLOW AND HOOKERS, ARE YOU IN!!!?" Mike opened his umbrella when the rain started to fall. "Isn't the idea to get blow frooom the hookers?!" David asked kind of curious as to why he would be so dumb as to announce all this out in the middle of the street, but hey is no one else cares why should he. David said fuck it and threw a shirt on and went down to the street to meet Mike. Mike pulled out his phone and started dialing the number for one of his connections. They both walked down the street huddled together around the phone listening for the dealer to tell them how much product he still has left. They let him know they need one hundred and thirty dollars worth and start walking that way. "You said there would be hookers to, why not do get some blow go to the glory hole and do it in the bathroom like proper delinquents?" Mike looked up and showed him a picture of a girl" Who the fuck is that?" David asked "A fine ass hooker , she's hooking now and she said to hit her up if we are looking!"

"Hey, Heeeey, HEY FUCK TARD WAKE UP!!!" Eyes opened to see what looked like a dark chocolate blur with raven hair falling over her face which made it look like the black version of the girl from The Ring. "No sleep paralysis demon I don't want to become a woman.." A groaning voice sounded before those eyes closed. A dark chocolate skinned dude rolled over in his bed getting all snug on his blanket." Wh- what the fuck? NO GET UP!!!" A plastic sounding thud, echoed in the guy's ear. Suddenly his eyes widened and he he sat up in his bed with a quick jolt "Sleep paralysis demon's are trying to kill me !! ... Oh it's worse.. Hey sis...The fuck do you want?" The woman stood over him arms folded holding a flesh light in her hand," For starters stop leaving the bong and your sex toys out for our sister to see, and to clean the fucking place up, I know it's your day off but you can do something other than get high, jerk off, and hit the punching bag all day." "I can do your...wait..best fri." He was interrupted by by another crack of the flesh light against the top of his head. " Look Leon, I'm about to go to work so I can't clean up after you so..Oh my god you have a boner! Look fuck it I'll be home late so just..UGH fucking gross!!" Leon rubbed his head picked up the flesh light Lauren used to club him over the head with as she stormed out of the house." Wow her period is really hitting her hard, it comes earlier every month..." Leon opened the cum trap with a confused look on his face." I don't remember cleaning this." ..."Fuck it time for pot!" Leon gets out of bed and goes over to his computer table and packs his bong before hitting it hard and deep..like he dose with most women. Leon still had a raging boner even after getting out of bed and hitting the bong, so raging he knocked his lotion and hid grinder off the table. "Oh shit...is there weed in there?" He said to him self before picking everything up. After taking a look around after checking his grinder he made a little shrug to him self and sat down at his desk and start jerking off. A content smile of satisfaction formed on his face as he looked up porn with the door open. His smile formed into a grin when he turned up the volume to maximum taking full advantage of a seemingly empty house. He sat back in his chair and stroked his big ole dick while watching big bootied Asian girls riding dick. He felt a little tingle on the back of his head the kind that felt like he was being watched, so he glanced over at the door and saw that no one was there so he just kept whacking it without a care in the world. After he came he took another hit and thought to him self about taking a shower. So he got up and walked out into the hall and into the bathroom totally naked with cum dripping from his dick. Phone in hand he put on some nice shower music and ran the hot water stepping in he leaned his head on the shower and watched his cum wash down the drain.. "I'm so high it feels like I'm being watched." He turned his head to look out the bathroom door and once again saw nothing. With another shrug he turned the water off then dried of with a towel, then just threw that shit back over the shower because fuck effort. Leon went back into his room and put on some basket ball shorts and goes out into the living room to clean shit up and watch tv. With the tv on Leon finishes cleaning before he can finally settle down to watch some tv. Sprawling out on the couch he casts Voodoo Child from his phone lays back and laughs him self to sleep. as he naps he starts to have a dream about a girl with hair down to her neck sucking on his dick. He stirs a bit and mumbles in his sleep. He lets out a moan and mumbles" Hey dream girl anyone tell you you look like my twin sister?" Only to hear the faint sound of her saying I she dose not know who that is and for him to shut up and go back to sleep. " Ok wait what?" He said before sitting up and seeing no one there then shrugs and falls back to sleep. @Anastasia

I offer my self up as a partner, with the ideas I presented in Jenny's discord. I'd be happy to Join if both you and @Tsuki are cool with it.

My birthday, I ate at a Japanese place when was the last time you watched really weird porn..I mean like really weird even by your own standards

Today, just spent the last hour having a very awkward conversation with a representative at Guinness When was the last time you masturbated multiple times in a row.

No one Noticed

..today, but all three of those categories were different people When was the last time you had a milk shake?

Did Jenny Poop?

...water sports

Granted but the nothingness makes life empty and depressing, and in turn makes you suicidal I wish I knew how to play piano

Massive Anal Gapes Accepted

Bummed out because now I have to talk to talk to the cops

Would say man you got my cigarette all wet

Would say not right now you are kinda doing sexy time with the blue haired guy, side note damn I'm never gonna get to sleep with all these people in my room.

Would give her a spanking and tell her she is a really bad girl, then I'd punish her hard with my dick

Would tell her if you wanna be punished all you have to do is ask

Would walk in pull the cuffs on the radiator and shot" DO you mother fuckers even know how to play these dame games!?"