Minorikawa

So, keeping in mind that I've only one actual partner and the rest of my experience is "simulated" through sex chat/cybersex and forums, this is the best to my ability to answer. Her Experience Do you think about whether she's actually enjoying it, or does it not cross your mind in the moment? Yes, actually, though it depends. At the very least, I want to make sure she's comfortable. Have you ever asked a woman honestly what it feels like from her side? Would you want to know? I've asked a few, and found that it varies. For some women, it's complete and utter submission. Some like the feeling of being used. Others, it feels like control, perhaps even a reverse psychology; seeming submissive but really, they're the ones controlling things. Can you tell the difference between a performed moan and a real one? Does it matter? Possibly not always, but the more pornographic it sounds the more performed it probably is. Small whimpers, or short, breathy moans come off as more genuine. Have you ever been with a woman who clearly didn't want to be doing it but did it anyway? Did that register? Did it change anything? I have not. Do you think most women genuinely enjoy giving head, or do you suspect they're performing more than they let on? I think there's a difference between "enjoy giving head" and "enjoy pleasing their partner". It's going to vary and depend on the woman. Some women enjoy pleasing their partner and thus they'll give head, perhaps as foreplay, but others have a sincere enjoyment of the act. And then there are women that never want a dick in their mouth because they think it's dirty (which is more common with Boomer ladies and older, I think). Power What goes through your head when you're standing over a woman on her knees about to give you head? In real life I was on my back, and a lot of first timer virgin thoughts were going through my head. I've actually been surprised how few online partners "want to" or imagine giving head laying down, and instead assume I'm sitting or standing. I don't know if anything in particular crosses my mind from the standing position. Do you feel powerful? Is the power part of the pleasure? I don't feel particularly powerful at the idea. Once upon a time I'd jerk off in the shower, and given the wobbliness of my knees the closer I'd approach my limit, the less "power" comes to mind. Have you ever put your hands on her head? What were you thinking about when you did? Only simulated, but my instinct is always to comb through her hair affectionately, clearing her face so I can see her, or just to feel that bob of her head as tactile stimulation. Has a woman ever told you to stop or slow down during one? How did you react? In my simulated experience, more women have told me to speed up or take control (or just assume I'm taking control) rather than have me slow down. Do you think about the vulnerability of her position: on her knees, mouth full, unable to speak? Sort of? On one hand, I prefer minimal talk during a sexual engagement. On the other, the idea of having a casual conversation while being sucked off is hot, so her pulling off to respond to me (be it discussing our day, what we've been watching, whether a movie was good or crap, etc.) is an exciting prospect. Transactional Have you ever felt like a blowjob was something you were owed? Exact opposite. Even digitally, if I have a cybersex partner that enjoys performing the act on me regularly, I start wondering if I'm even worthy. With my girlfriend... well, that's a whole lot of self-esteem baggage which contributed to our inevitable break-up. Have you ever been more generous, giving gifts, attention, or even commitment, after a woman gave you particularly good head? Hmm... Yes and no. I need more than just sexual engagement. I do need conversation in some way, to enjoy one another's company. However, it does help me feel... appreciated, and thus I appreciate all the stronger in return. Do you think there's a connection between how good the head was and how you treat a woman afterward? In real life, I had mixed feelings. It was half good head, half bad head, but I also didn't last as long as I hoped and felt lousy afterward. But I blamed myself for that. Online, because it's a very, very different dynamic, if it wasn't good then I likely don't want to continue playing with her. However, for certain women, so long as she's a good conversationalist, I enjoy giving in other ways to show my appreciation to her. Would you break up with a woman who refused to give blowjobs? Would it be a dealbreaker? I don't know. The prospect of being in a relationship feels so foreign to me that I don't even know if it would be or not. I'd like to say it wouldn't, but... how can I know for sure? Finishing Do you prefer to finish in her mouth? Why? My ex swallowed. I thought I'd be bothered when she kissed me afterward but I wasn't. Mentally, my favorite spot to release is on breasts, stomach, lower back. I'm not big on her swallowing because I've heard enough women describe the taste, and while some say they like it, I feel like it'd be better even to just release on her hands or all over myself. Does swallowing matter to you? What do you think it means to her? I've never asked a woman before what it means to her, but I get the feeling that a lot of women enjoy the feeling of swallowing semen or feeling it inside them during intercourse. I'm guessing there's an emotional, chemical, impact, and evidently studies claim that swallowing semen can have mood boosting benefits, but... perhaps that's something I should ask about more. Have you ever thought about what it actually tastes and feels like for her to swallow? Oh all the time. I know I wouldn't want to swallow it, so if she doesn't, she doesn't have to. Has a woman ever spit it out? How did you feel about it? My ex did not, nor have I ever experienced a woman doing so simulated. Do you prefer to finish on her face or body? What's the appeal? I technically half-answered this question, but for the appeal... I don't entirely understand myself. Many of my favorite "targets" are parts of the body I'm attracted to (boobs being obvious, but abdomen and lower back less so), with the face being a mixed deal. On one hand, the face is very important in terms of attraction and even the appeal of watching a woman suck cock, but I'm the kind of doofus that would accidently get some in her eye while trying to avoid it. However, there's something... I would use the term "marked", but I don't think it's just that. If my partner enjoys it, as some (virtual, naturally), have rubbed it into their skin if it was on their breasts or stomach, or wipe it from their cheeks and into their mouth... there's something pleasing about a woman wearing my seed, but it's not a "marked" thing. It's not a "you're now mine" thing. Real vs. Performance What made the best blowjob you've ever had the best? I mean, in real life, I've only had the one, so... as for online, I'm not sure it's so much just the one blowjob. I'll remember partners or a series of moments. So ten years ago I was part of a chat room that had an Aussie gal that was really good at blowjobs and titty fucking, but I don't remember her prose as much as I remember the connection shared. Was it the physical sensation, or was it something else, like the way she looked at you, the things she said, how she made you feel? For cybersex, some of it is prose and way with words. Some of it is the personality she conveys. And sometimes, it's our ability to make things interesting by changing the setting/scene. Have you ever had a technically skilled blowjob that wasn't as good? What was missing? My ex had no gag reflex that she used well (I guess (I'm average so I dunno whether that matters compared to THE ALMIGHTY ABSURDLY SIZED PORNO DICK)), but it felt like that was the only part she know how to do well. Granted, it could just be that blowjobs are highly over-rated and I only have the one experience to reference. Online, though, there are a lot of women that get lost in the emotional sensations they're experiencing, but tell me nothing about what their tongue, lips, throat, or hands are doing. That's where I feel I have nothing to react to. How much of the pleasure is physical versus psychological? It's both. Don't ask me for a percentage. I mean, 99% of my experience is imaginary so technically psychological, so... Do you need to feel like she wants it for it to be good? This is an odd question. It's very rare you can be good at something you don't enjoy. But, if she doesn't enjoy it, then can I really enjoy it? What's the point if she's not having a good time? Comparison Do you rank the women you've been with by how good they were at this? I don't think so. I've had women that are definitely better at it than others (in terms of writing, at least?) but their personalities just don't gel as well with mine. Have you ever told your friends about a specific blowjob? What did you say? Very few people even know my ex and I went down on one another. As far as the world is concerned I've never experienced anything sexual. Do you think blowjobs are more intimate than intercourse or less? Yes and no. There's something about a woman wanting to put her mouth on my most sensitive (and let's face it, not very attractive) organ, and to work purely towards my pleasure. For her to want to do that, she has to have positive feelings towards me, and that means a lot. On the other hand, there's something very casual about it, or potentially casual, that allows for explicit discrete interaction (blowjob in the stairwell, quickie in the changing room, etc.) that belies the notion of intimacy and is more just casual sexin', no strings attached. While technically intercourse can be that as well, it's a physical connection and is more "bodily", and where both individual's pleasure matters. Have you ever had a blowjob that made you fall for someone? Or fall out of love with someone? In terms of online interaction, I didn't fall for someone, but I definitely wanted to spend more time with them (and perhaps get repeat performances). First Time Do you remember your first blowjob? What did it feel like? Yes. Aside from a LOT of self-conscious thoughts and nervousness that likely impacted how long I lasted, I remember thinking "Is... is this it?" as it didn't really feel like anything. It wasn't until she dove down and curved her head in rapid strokes with her tongue/throat (my eyes were closed, didn't watch) that I felt some serious pleasure. That's what brought me to release, so... I have mixed feelings. Did you know what to expect? No. Or at least, it was different. Were you surprised by anything: the warmth, the wetness, the sight of it? Those rapid movements really hit my frenulum, so that came as a shock. Basically, I was expecting something more like spitting in my hand and jerking off than what I got. Did you feel guilty afterward? Grateful? Both? I feel guilty now because, though I evidently was good at cunnilingus, I didn't go long enough to bring her to climax and here I didn't last very long before spilling into her mouth. I still remember looking up from her sex and watching her grab a pillow to cover her face to gasp and moan into, her body writhing as my tongue teased her clit, and yet for some reason I stopped like "Alright your turn". Selfish of me. Discomfort and Degradation Have you ever held a woman's head down longer than she wanted? I used to be uncomfortable with women gagging. Technically I still am when watching porn. I don't like videos where women are choking themselves on dick. In cybersex and roleplay, I've learned to be comfortable writing holding a woman's head down, but it's not something where I'd want to do so longer than she can manage or enjoy. Have you ever ignored signs that she was uncomfortable? On the contrary, I used to tell women in cybersex that they don't have to deepthroat if it makes them gag, and they'd just ignore this suggestion and do it anyway. In hindsight, some of those might have been men posing as women. Either way, with new partners, if they don't initiate it themselves, I'll test the waters with some bucking. In real life, I clearly have no experience with this. Have you ever thought about it afterward and felt like you took something? It's not really been something online. The closest was usually because a woman was intentionally being a bitch leading me one way in private, only to then publicly go the opposite to make me look like scum. If you could be on your knees in front of someone with their hands on your head, would you want to know what it feels like? Going down on a woman standing up is an unusual position, but I love the feeling of a woman's fingers in my hair. I feel like I'd ruin her composure, so it wouldn't feel like degradation. Face sitting is more the degrading equivalent, but that also just seems inefficient to me. I wouldn't be able to perform well in that position, I don't think. Do you think the act is inherently degrading to women? No, not inherently. I mean, her teeth is capable of biting my dick or nuts off at any time. It's incredibly vulnerable to me. However, I'm oblivious to the other implications, especially as, for a while, I couldn't find a single decent partner since they all practically wanted a skull fucking and to me that's not a blowjob. You can't pride yourself on sucking dick if you just sit there getting a dick jammed in your throat. I guess you could say I'm not a fan of the women (presumably) that just want that. So, I guess in terms of sex in general, it's important to me that the woman wants it, too.

Make him pay child support.

I feel like I must be guilty, but I barely make promises and other guilt is far more overpowering than any broken promise. The next poster has an album they listen to frequently to return to a past period of their life, be it sad, happy, or nostalgic in some other fashion.

Guilty. I still have game consoles from when I was a kid and the games I bought for them. Granted, it's not the largest collection out there, but I'm not exactly getting rid of anything even as some of it sits in storage. Even if it takes me until I'm in a retirement home (hahahahahaha like I'll ever get to retire) I'm going to have a set up with a CRT for retro and HD for "modern" and live through the glory days as intended just as much as the new stuff. The next poster has an expensive hobby of some sort.

Simplified the non-story ideas down, added The Magic Academy, Stranded in the Land of Elves, and Gotta Document 'Em All.

Added two new ideas, BTS and The Wormhole, to story concepts, and added The Gymfluencer to one-shots.

Think I'll be listening to this whole album on repeat again.

Intimate whispers

Added a couple one-shot ideas, will probably add more as they come to me. Willing to discuss full stories, but no guarantees as I've got a good number of those going or starting.

Barely-guilty. I have a few characters I like to use repeatedly since they feel so defined and right, and can conveniently work in multiple stories. However, I'm not one to exclusively use just one or a a couple characters, especially since it can create issues of "Oh, wait, that wasn't our story, that was another..." The next poster is, like me, wondering if the term "sex vacation" is as simple as it sounds or means something very specific.

Not guilty. I'm such a goody two-shoes that, once upon a time ago, when I realized I walked out of a store with a pencil I didn't pay for, I had a moral panic attack and ran right back to return it, apologizing profusely. The next poster has one city on their bucket list they want to visit, but have yet to have the opportunity to do so.

Radiant Historia

Tainted love

Not guilty. Similarly, I've known too many people to get into accidents, some of which did not survive. Heck, I only drive my car because I have to. The next poster has owned many, many cars because they keep getting bored with the current one and want something new.

Enticing kinks

Not guilty, and after living with someone who had a houseplant that caused the heating bill to be absolutely atrocious, I will never have house plants. Besides, that's where all my over-priced models of gaming and kaiju characters go. The next poster prefers apartments over houses and has gotten into arguments with old boomers about it.

Depraved deviant

Semi-guilty. I love that they can make the weather cooler in the summertime, and I love the sound of heavy rainfall on the window, but they sometimes are accompanied by disaster. Still, they're cool. The next poster has a bad habit of staying up later than they ought to.

Guilty. It's my favorite sport to watch live and I wish I could go more often. The next poster prefers minor leagues over major.

Memorial Day There was a time the cobblestone road of the old city bustled with the laughter of children and their parents leading them from shop to shop, stopping by neighborhood friends to discuss pleasantries and the latest gossip around town. Now, the smoke from the diminishing flames flooded the street as if God were sweeping through to claim all the first born. If only it had been so selective. Mira lowered her hood and unstrapped the mask from her face, allowing her hair to billow in the wind. It went against regulations, keeping it down like this. Long hair had a tendency to get in the way in the middle of a fight, but this fight was long over. Their foe was a stubborn one, refusing to flee and instead pulling off the most grand final stands. She expected it, they always expected it, yet they could never predict in what manner their last desperate strategy would take. They dropped mortars on everything and everyone. Didn't matter which side. Most of the buildings weren't even useful cover, as any blast shattered the windows, and if the shards of glass didn't shred through your tactical armor and limbs then the flames would swallow you whole. Mira's ear drums were ready to split not just from the concussive force of each explosive, but from the shrieks of her comrades over the radio. She still couldn't believe she survived, tossed into an alleyway and buried by just enough rubble to provide protection from the searing heat. Yet through it all she could hear the screams of her fellow soldiers, some of whom she'd known since boot camp, piercing through to her very core. Anya, her closest friend, was pleading for her older sister to save her. Her older sister had died two years ago, before there was any war. The stench was the most wretched thing. The stories were true, humans really did smell like burning pork. It made her stomach lurch just thinking about it, and Mira doubled over to expunge her stomach's contents. There were a few others that did the same, it sounded like, though some struggled to remove their masks in time. Looking along the street, Mira began to recount the events of the battle. The blurry haze of events, of bursts of gunfire and splashes of blood, cries to move in and shouts to take cover, began to take shape. It began with a simple patrol, an erroneous message informing them the city had been cleared and deserted. Daniels was in the middle of a story about some blonde floozy with an insufferable accent he'd managed to bed in the last town when a sniper round punched through his throat and pierced the abdomen of the soldier behind him. Was it Miller? Adams? She couldn't recall the marching order, just that everyone immediately dove for cover as enemy fire burst from the windows and grenades fell from the sky. She had taken a position beside a wrecked old car, tossing more than a few grenades into the windows above her before spinning around, laying down fire on the opposing street. Rubble came down from above as her grenades went off in the floors above, as well as the warm, wet bits of human flesh confirming at least one kill. "I'm gonna make for the-!" Trixie Malner began by the hood of the car, only to catch a bullet right in her eye. During boot camp Trixie would often give Mira her carrots. She didn't like carrots. Carrots were supposed to be good for developing one's eyesight. Why did Mira think of that now, aiming down her sights and firing a volley into one of the shooters across the street? Someone tapped her shoulder, letting her know they were right beside and helping provide suppressive fire as a squad entered the building behind her. She could hear the heavy boots stomp up the stairs even as the firefight continued outside. Though her earpiece let her know the squad made contact, the muffled sound of weapons fire from within had already informed her of that fact. Enemy fire across the street reduced, indicating a push was also being made on the other side. Pretty soon they'd have this portion of the road- She was suddenly knocked forward, her face slamming into the car door, blood starting to ooze down her forehead from a cut on the jagged panel. Rubble fell, rocks pounding into her from above as her ears rung with the infinite chime of a bell. Looking up, smoke billowed out from across the street as well as above her. She couldn't hear anything, just a sudden jerk on her back, Sergeant Jessica Childs yelling something, shoving her into the alleyway just as the mortars began to fall. Mira was already loose on her feet, but the shock of the blast sent her flying backwards even further, tumbling, distant enough from the concussive force that she was spared being shredded by the explosion. The smoke flooded the alley and Mira began to cough, prompting her to seal the gas mask. The ringing began to subside, hearing only the sound of her breathing. Deep, desperate gasps for air that surprised her. She didn't realize she'd been in a panic. If anything she felt calm. Her eyes turned downwards, to the ground, a chunk of what used to be the Sarge right there on the ground. Everything quaked around her as the mortars continued to go off, the shrieking of her companions filling her ear, the pounding in her chest becoming a jack hammer. Her earpiece began to hiss and sizzle as the noise all mixed together, too much noise to process coherently, her eyes lingering on that hunk of meat, that chunk of someone she was glad to see promoted, of someone that saved her life so many times, the sizzling only growing louder as the smell of burning flesh filled her nostrils- "GRANDMA!" Mira startled, gasping, her arms reaching to her sides and finding the small, fragile shoulders of her grandson. "Grandma, are you okay?" he said, a look of concern bursting from his bright blue eyes. "Yeah, ma," came her sons voice, standing beside her at the grill. "You just... kind of started zoning out there." His spatula slid under the burger she had been staring at, red blood pooling atop the pink, uncooked meat before he flipped it over. Orange flames burst and sizzled as the blood dropped in. "I am quite alright," Mira said with a smile, her fragile fingers gently patting her son's back and giving him a kiss on his cheek. She then ruffled the hair on her grandson, her smile reassuring him. He sprinted back out into the lawn, lifting his water pistol and firing at his cousins, shouting "I killed you!" His cousin declared that it was, in fact, she who killed him first. She inhaled to let out a sigh, but only shuddered as the scent of cooking meat filled her nostrils. "I think I'm going to get myself a drink," she smiled to her son. He nodded and smiled back, oblivious to the memory she had relived in her mind. She hated cookouts. Were it up to her, they'd just order out for pizza. Yet it was tradition, every year, pool parties and fireworks and grills. She sighed, pouring herself a glass of lemonade. There were so few left to remember, and too many lives lost that have been forgotten. Raising her glass, she silently toasted to all of them left behind. Sergeant Jessica Childs, Trixie Malner, Daniels, Miller, Adams, Anya, and so, so many more. She would carry on their memory for as long as she lived, no matter how painful it was to remember.

Marry so we can get a Brother Husbands reality show to counter Sister Wives and try to rake in the money.