Overview

The desire to write is with me and I feel like I could sit down and do it soon though admittedly I've been doubting my ability to write anything good for a little while too. Still, I really want to and with my troubles subsiding I'm hoping to find the focus and energy I used to have again. I hope your desires come to you too. Its been a bit of a weird time it feels like.

Motivation is a big issue, I feel pretty useless but there are some people that still can get a reply from me.

I miss them both terribly. I know that feeling, not wanting to write. I want to, but I can't really force myself to sit down and do it... it feels like a chore. But I've had a few times where fiction finally came out recently. I really hope I'm turning a corner.

Yeah Starlit has been missing for some time Cadrach too recently and I hope they're alright But that is why I did mention 'if it has to take a bit of a different form" as well though I do miss them for sure.

I have little energy/desire to write. I hope to get better soon. I don't want to bring your moods down but both @WickedCadrach @StarlitSiren haven't been on Ecchi in quite sometime.

I'm in the want category, as well. I really loved the process of creating the game and setting with everyone, and I was looking forward to seeing where it went.

Admittedly I've been dealing with my own nonsense that's kept me from writing. Worst of its over and hoping to get back to normal real soon. I even have some time off coming that'll hopefully cap this off for real. I'd be down for a revival even if its got to take a little bit of a different form. I loved the idea and was definitely looking forward to writing with all involved. I still think of it from time to time and what could have been or could be. Definitely put me in the [Want] category...if we're able.

It seems most of us are busy elsewhere, or have had situations arise that have kept us from the site for extended periods of time. I might actually be getting close to possibly returning to active roleplay. I tried once before, got a couple half-assed posts together for some private roleplay, and then lost it again. I guess I'm just posting this to gauge how everyone else is doing, hoping we're all okay, and checking to see if this is something we might be able to and want to revive.

Someday I will get to reading my library…as I continue to expand it. Now beginning to add World of Darkness to it.

welp, anyone care to play anything? im pretty out of the loop for a lot of things, but im personally recovering from a lot of BS life threw at me a few months back, and would like to get back into the swing of things ^u^

I mean, emotions are not something you need to apologize for sweetheart. I just hope your feeling a bit better...

Thank you. I re-read that. I really need to stop being so dramatic. Sheesh.

well im not sure how to respond to the above.. I would like to help if i can, but to avoid dwelling on it ill leave it there for what its worth, have a snuggle hun<3

No but it becomes a horror if it consumes you and the want for light is extinguished as well. Would that I could gather so many of our virtual friends for dinner - vegan okay for everyone?

It's just everything. Literally everything. My job, all the crap about my mother, my fucked up family, my relationship being up in the air, the world in general, watching people be gleeful about hurting others, everything combining to make me wish I could escape this timeline and find the alternate one where society actually prizes humanity and empathy and we collectively to lift each other up instead of what I see all around me now. I'm trying so hard to not give up in the face of everything falling apart all around me. It's really hard. I know I'm strong, but everyone has limits. I'm running out of steam. I try to be kind like I always am to everyone, my coworkers, my neighbors, everyone I interact with during my day, but every interaction just brings a tear to my eye and puts me on the verge of total emotional collapse. It's exhausting trying to be a positive light in a world of darkness. Sometimes I lay awake at night wondering when the end will come, if it will be sudden or a long, slow, lingering time of suffering, and I am certain it will be the latter. I don't know if I'm built for that kind of suffering. But I try every day to get up and be the smile someone needs, the kind words that might lift someone else out of despair, and none of the people I interact with know my own inner misery and melancholy. I spit it out in words like this on some anonymous website, but in reality, people probably hate how positive and happy I appear in my everyday life. You'd never recognize me in the real world. I want to project hope and positivity, support and love and caring, all the things I believe makes humans good, when what I really feel is wretched gloom and hopelessness. Is that a the kind of lie that isn't so bad if it helps someone else? I don't even know why I'm writing this all out in a public forum. I should probably delete all these words and just post something short and snarky, maybe a little sexy, let everyone see the me I've carefully crafted here, the curated Izzy, the one who always says something fun, funny, or flirty. But I'm falling apart right along with the rest of the world, and at least here, anonymously, I can be honest. I am hurting. Not just personally, but yes, that, too. But I am hurting for the possibility that we could have risen above our pettiness, our selfishness, our fear of anything "other". I hurt for the victimized as well as the dupes who hate what they don't know. I hurt for the disenfranchised, but also for the blindness of the ones who were taken for a ride, for that self-aware moment they may one day have that their hatred was weaponized against their neighbors, friends, family, against the very people who would have loved them unconditionally. I hurt for our failed society. I hurt for our failed humanity. I hurt for what we've become when I know what we could have been. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I'm not enough to make a difference to the people I love. I wish I were stronger. I wish those of you who need it could be right here so I could hug you and share a meal and conversation with you, be the human you need and by doing so, make my own heart that much larger for containing you, too. I wish I could be that person for everyone who needs it. But instead I'm hiding in my house, afraid to be who I really am, afraid of the consequences of being "other" so I keep pretending to be what they want me to be, because it keeps money coming into my bank account, keeps this roof over my head, food on my table, savings in an account so one day I can hopefully quit that job and stop pretending. But that day may never come. Living in a failing empire is only fun for the ones on top, and none of us are those ones. We'll all be crushed sooner or later in the name of profit, in the name of progress, in the name of whatever new label they create for the exploitation of everyone else for their benefit. I hope you can find some peace during these dark days. I hope you have someone to love, someone to hold, someone to talk to. I am surrounded by people most days and have never felt so alone. They say you can only see the stars once it gets truly dark, but that's little consolation to me right now in this rapidly descending dusk. Oh, and um. Here's something sad and sexy, because it's still me. A lonely, lovely young woman, discovered to be the artificial creation that she is. She only wanted to love and be loved, but instead she was alone.

I'm in a similar place and I think it may be the slow, constant ache of our current social collapse.

Hope things come back to you Isabella. It sucks when you want to write but nothing comes. I've been there and it was stressing I had to force it until it clicked again. Pulling for you. On my end things have been lackluster to bad but its looking up.

To be honest, we all have days like this, at one time or another. I've had periods where I just didn't know what to write anymore. It took a while to get ideas back or to write in a way like I wanted to. Maybe it's a temporary mindblock? I hope you will find your ability again soon. Last I remember, you had an impressive writing skill. :)

I'm generating ideas again, so that's something. But the writing is still just not coming like I want. I've never had anything hit my ability to write like this has. Usually ideas come and words flow. My head is just not where it usually is. I honestly have no idea what's happening in my brain these days.

So how are people on the ttrpg side of erps? Life is calming down marginally and i wanted to poke people over here<3

Thought it might be a sonewhat fun question! Like if you were to make a TV show of it with an opening.

I can't quite think of a theme to be honest. But I'll try to!

Just for fun, when you guys think of this game what song pops into your head if any?

Fabula Ultima is one of the best things in existence. (In my opinion. JRPG fan). I have the full book (362 pages) that I could share if I'm allowed to and someone needs it. It explains the entirety of how the game starts, how it is played. What players can do in many different situations and what the game master can do. It also depicts all jobs that can be used. A club tried to do it but it was quickly abandoned. Ever since then, I was hoping to put my Spiritist somewhere. If there's one ttrpg that I'd really want to play, it is definitely this one. IF this was a thing, I would like to join it with the promise to behave myself. My main goal is really for everyone to have fun and I would love to share the guide and contribute to make it work. I dreamed to play this with other people. I know this is not guaranteed to be the next game but if it was, I really wish to join it. This is a table top dream come true, to think FF would become an inspiration for a ttrpg someday. At the top, I included the introduction pages of Fabula Ultima. So yes, I give my word and I'd like to prove my good faith.

There are fairly easy ways to mark sessions in a play-by-post environment. Story arc, scene, or set it to a flat passage of time (or, if you're a dickhead, number of posts). I remember now that I've heard the Final Fantasy comparison before and that's why I haven't dug into it any deeper: I have never played a Final Fantasy game.