Overview

No but it becomes a horror if it consumes you and the want for light is extinguished as well. Would that I could gather so many of our virtual friends for dinner - vegan okay for everyone?

It's just everything. Literally everything. My job, all the crap about my mother, my fucked up family, my relationship being up in the air, the world in general, watching people be gleeful about hurting others, everything combining to make me wish I could escape this timeline and find the alternate one where society actually prizes humanity and empathy and we collectively to lift each other up instead of what I see all around me now. I'm trying so hard to not give up in the face of everything falling apart all around me. It's really hard. I know I'm strong, but everyone has limits. I'm running out of steam. I try to be kind like I always am to everyone, my coworkers, my neighbors, everyone I interact with during my day, but every interaction just brings a tear to my eye and puts me on the verge of total emotional collapse. It's exhausting trying to be a positive light in a world of darkness. Sometimes I lay awake at night wondering when the end will come, if it will be sudden or a long, slow, lingering time of suffering, and I am certain it will be the latter. I don't know if I'm built for that kind of suffering. But I try every day to get up and be the smile someone needs, the kind words that might lift someone else out of despair, and none of the people I interact with know my own inner misery and melancholy. I spit it out in words like this on some anonymous website, but in reality, people probably hate how positive and happy I appear in my everyday life. You'd never recognize me in the real world. I want to project hope and positivity, support and love and caring, all the things I believe makes humans good, when what I really feel is wretched gloom and hopelessness. Is that a the kind of lie that isn't so bad if it helps someone else? I don't even know why I'm writing this all out in a public forum. I should probably delete all these words and just post something short and snarky, maybe a little sexy, let everyone see the me I've carefully crafted here, the curated Izzy, the one who always says something fun, funny, or flirty. But I'm falling apart right along with the rest of the world, and at least here, anonymously, I can be honest. I am hurting. Not just personally, but yes, that, too. But I am hurting for the possibility that we could have risen above our pettiness, our selfishness, our fear of anything "other". I hurt for the victimized as well as the dupes who hate what they don't know. I hurt for the disenfranchised, but also for the blindness of the ones who were taken for a ride, for that self-aware moment they may one day have that their hatred was weaponized against their neighbors, friends, family, against the very people who would have loved them unconditionally. I hurt for our failed society. I hurt for our failed humanity. I hurt for what we've become when I know what we could have been. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I'm not enough to make a difference to the people I love. I wish I were stronger. I wish those of you who need it could be right here so I could hug you and share a meal and conversation with you, be the human you need and by doing so, make my own heart that much larger for containing you, too. I wish I could be that person for everyone who needs it. But instead I'm hiding in my house, afraid to be who I really am, afraid of the consequences of being "other" so I keep pretending to be what they want me to be, because it keeps money coming into my bank account, keeps this roof over my head, food on my table, savings in an account so one day I can hopefully quit that job and stop pretending. But that day may never come. Living in a failing empire is only fun for the ones on top, and none of us are those ones. We'll all be crushed sooner or later in the name of profit, in the name of progress, in the name of whatever new label they create for the exploitation of everyone else for their benefit. I hope you can find some peace during these dark days. I hope you have someone to love, someone to hold, someone to talk to. I am surrounded by people most days and have never felt so alone. They say you can only see the stars once it gets truly dark, but that's little consolation to me right now in this rapidly descending dusk. Oh, and um. Here's something sad and sexy, because it's still me. A lonely, lovely young woman, discovered to be the artificial creation that she is. She only wanted to love and be loved, but instead she was alone.

I'm in a similar place and I think it may be the slow, constant ache of our current social collapse.

Hope things come back to you Isabella. It sucks when you want to write but nothing comes. I've been there and it was stressing I had to force it until it clicked again. Pulling for you. On my end things have been lackluster to bad but its looking up.

To be honest, we all have days like this, at one time or another. I've had periods where I just didn't know what to write anymore. It took a while to get ideas back or to write in a way like I wanted to. Maybe it's a temporary mindblock? I hope you will find your ability again soon. Last I remember, you had an impressive writing skill. :)

I'm generating ideas again, so that's something. But the writing is still just not coming like I want. I've never had anything hit my ability to write like this has. Usually ideas come and words flow. My head is just not where it usually is. I honestly have no idea what's happening in my brain these days.

So how are people on the ttrpg side of erps? Life is calming down marginally and i wanted to poke people over here<3

Thought it might be a sonewhat fun question! Like if you were to make a TV show of it with an opening.

I can't quite think of a theme to be honest. But I'll try to!

Just for fun, when you guys think of this game what song pops into your head if any?

Fabula Ultima is one of the best things in existence. (In my opinion. JRPG fan). I have the full book (362 pages) that I could share if I'm allowed to and someone needs it. It explains the entirety of how the game starts, how it is played. What players can do in many different situations and what the game master can do. It also depicts all jobs that can be used. A club tried to do it but it was quickly abandoned. Ever since then, I was hoping to put my Spiritist somewhere. If there's one ttrpg that I'd really want to play, it is definitely this one. IF this was a thing, I would like to join it with the promise to behave myself. My main goal is really for everyone to have fun and I would love to share the guide and contribute to make it work. I dreamed to play this with other people. I know this is not guaranteed to be the next game but if it was, I really wish to join it. This is a table top dream come true, to think FF would become an inspiration for a ttrpg someday. At the top, I included the introduction pages of Fabula Ultima. So yes, I give my word and I'd like to prove my good faith.

There are fairly easy ways to mark sessions in a play-by-post environment. Story arc, scene, or set it to a flat passage of time (or, if you're a dickhead, number of posts). I remember now that I've heard the Final Fantasy comparison before and that's why I haven't dug into it any deeper: I have never played a Final Fantasy game.

I am a big fan of Fabula Ultima, it has very few rules, very anime esque, you dont gain XP from combat. Having set that I dont think it can work in forum setting given the XP system is entirely designed around the concept of sessions.

Its basically if final fantasy was used as the basis for dnd. Its a system based on keeping that "gamey" feel from its jrpg inspirations In the game players combine multiple different classes, eventually ending up with 5 different classes, and using them to build a very narrative based character. As a game the players have a LOT of narrative control, even being able to spend fabula points to directly affect the plot, where the game even has players take a lot of the control during world building the setting. The game works off 4 stats(might, dexterity, insight, and willpower) that are based off dice size rather than numbers, ranging from d6 to d12 for the stats. Most checks use 2 of these stats to determine the results. Theres a system called "clocks" used for more complex checks and situations that fills in the closer you are to the that result good or bad. All in all its a player centric system designed to make a world and setting made by the players, for the players, that sets them up as jrpg protagonists Hope that helps @WritesNaughtyStories :3

Fabula Ultima is a name I hearca lot but haven't actually dug into even a little bit. Can you give me a quick overview, @DreamsnThings?

I for one have started learning fabula ultima and i love the system?

I knew there was something else that we had in common. Turns out it's the wonky Palladium system for TMNT and Other Strangeness. I fell in love with Transdimensional TMNT back in the day and spent entirely too much time adventuring in alternate dimensions and throughout history using that book and Beyond the Supernatural.

So, with the Apocalypse World debacle behind us, is there some other game we'd all like to play? What's everyone playing with their regular IRL group? At my table it's been the new edition of TMNT. Super fun if you're into 80's camp and the kind of dark humor that permeated the comics. And you're willing to play Paladium's admittedly wonky system. I've always loved it, so I'm having a great time.

It may be rough, but enjoy the trip well you can! Life likes its curveballs ...that sounded more ominous than intended... have fun!

Just glad to see you in higher spirits, take whatever time you need.

Life and all that!

Hey everyone! I just got into Myrtle Beach at 3:00am after driving 14 hours. I can’t remember if I let everyone know I was going to be gone for a week or not, but if you didn’t know before, now you do! I may post from here, but this trip is all work and no play (well, a couple days of play) as I’m taking my niece to visit colleges in South Carolina and Florida. It’s all driving and touring campuses and sleeping in a new hotel every night. So yeah.. no rest for the Izzy!

Kojo wasn't bothered by the scent of blood. He'd smelled it plenty though it was never pleasant. His eyes cast to the prints pointed to him. Phantoms didn't make imprints which was a reassuring fact but as he continued to stare, as his eyes adjusted to the dark more the mystery only deepened more. He knew the system of pulleys and he knew the material they tended to use for them. Rope was the most common but the cables didn't look like rope. Newfangled steel cables was all the rage too. It didn't snap as easily but it did tend to glint in the light at times. These cables didn't look like either of those. There were ways to make them more invisible but these were....something else. He recalled the speed with which the phantom rose but....that meant someone else was pulling the string right? These didn't work on their own. Two people? Why would two people have it out for Silas? It felt like the mystery only deepened. Stage hands used them often or they were used with props. The illusion, of course, of flight and dreams but these were different. This place had the money of multiple wealthy backers and yet? He'd never seen these before. He practiced with the stage hands and knew the material. He'd never seen this before. How did anyone set this up without him knowing? His eyes moved downward to more prints and he followed them in silence and wondering until he found yet another clue. It was a mass of those cables and plugs he'd never seen. He could tell they were removed from their origin. He traced them more to find the web and his eyes widened. How? How had anyone set this up? It couldn't have been set up in a single moment and yet none of them know? His mind poured over the possibilities. He ran through his memories but he wasn't always with the stage hands especially when enmeshed in practice or at home. Someone had managed to do this under their noses. This wasn't theirs. He moved to possibly correct it when he heard...her. He knew that voice and he knew that tone. He'd been in contact and contract with the woman it belonged to for many years now and always always her tone of voice caused the feeling at the base of his skull to intensify even if just a little. He moved to the edge of the catwalk and looked down to see her, peering down to meet a familiar gaze. Kirsa. His employer. It seemed she wanted him down and to leave it to these fools but what would they know about this? He looked back in Billy and Carter's direction "I'll be down in one moment Kirsa. I know the theater better than our...distinguished lawman. It would be prudent of me to have a proper look." he spoke downward, projecting his voice loud enough to be heard. He knew the acoustics of the theater well. His accent shifted to being more in line with her own, foreign. German. It wasn't as though he had to twist his accent when speaking to her the same way he did with others. He wanted another look. If it was quick it would be quick but he'd look again. Someone managed to set this up under their noses but he wanted to see if it was a professional job or if it was the work of an amateur or someone really knew what they were doing and they had managed to get up here unnoticed for the most part. Where did the blood actually come from? He had to at least know how they got up here. He just had to take one more look around.

Edmund’s expression remained a placid mask, but TIAL-V’s report landed like a lead weight in his gut. Sixty-three percent. The cold, analytical number was far more chilling than any rumor. Even a thirty six percent that would be an unacceptably high number. His first, primal instinct was to leave immediately and find Jane Montgomery, to wrench her from Thane's grasp. But that impulse was violently shoved aside as the doors swung open and Aldert Helsink strode in, flanked by his grim-faced entourage. The hunt for Jane would have to wait; a different predator had just entered his territory. A flicker of his eyes towards TIAL-V was the only signal needed. "Track him down, you took her under your care and therefore mine" Edmund murmured, his voice a low, private command meant only for the automaton. "The sheriff is a dangerous man. I want to know where he is and most importantly if Miss Montgomery is safe." The words were a bitter pill, Edmund did not care much for truth, but he feared young woman's life was in danger. As Helsink approached, Edmund’s gaze drifted past the man, catching the eyes of two of his girls near the bar. A subtle, almost imperceptible nod was all it took. They understood their cue, their practiced smiles widening as they began to drift towards Helsink's men, their movements promising distraction and company. A charming, disarming smile spread across Edmund's face as he turned his full attention to his guest. "Lord Blackwood," he repeated with a deep, theatrical laugh, the sound rich and warm. "Please, my friend, it is simply Edmund. We save such titles for the opera houses in London, not for gambling halls in the west." He gestured expansively to the lavish room around them. "But I do understand your concerns. A man must be vigilant." He leaned in conspiratorially, his voice dropping to a more intimate, yet still audible, level. "However, in my considerable experience, there is no such thing as a dangerous woman. Only... misunderstood ones. And they are often the most interesting." Straightening up, his voice boomed with practiced hospitality. "But talk of such grim matters is no way to spend an evening! Bartender! A round of the Stag's finest whiskey for Mr. Helsink and his men and myself, on the house!" He watched them accept the drinks, a predator's calculation hidden behind a host's smile. Let them drink, he thought. Let their senses dull and their tongues loosen. Alcohol and women were the finest ways to unlock a man's secrets, and Helsink looks like a man with a great many of them.

My flight was delayed so I couldn't today tomorrow for certain, sorry for the wait.