Learning how to move on

[SoulReaper Banned]

Where to begin .... Well I'll first say that I'm almost 6 years older than the person irl I have a crush on and I'm going on 26 this year so this was about 8 years ago I was practicing sign spinning when I first met her (and yes even though I'm going to say I would love be to date someone younger than me that's not the point) I immediately fell for her and even though with Asperger's I tried to convey my feelings as best I could at the time but I was still so naive and non coherent of her feelings at the time and as of a few minutes ago I (even though i am still a little shy I still think I am getting better but still a bit naive and I can't shake the feeling there's still something wrong with me approaching women and I don't get it even with my Asperger's I've learned how to communicate semi efficiently with the opposite sex but yet something eludes me) indirectly asked her out and stating I know I'll be rejected but why does it still sting even though I acknowledged this outcome? I honestly don't understand one thing when it comes to women it seems 

[Gwenhwyfar]

First off--I know nothing about Asperger's, so please forgive me if I say something that doesn't quite apply, and take this whole thing with a grain of salt if none of it does.

And secondly--I'm answering especially with the thought that I've never met you. I don't know your experiences--and I'm speaking based purely on my own.

 

I believe it stings--despite that--because it's more about us than it is about the other party. You know? 

We might ask a number of people out--they may share the feelings, or they may not. The common factor is who we are.

I personally feel it makes me aware of some deficiency in myself--in me as a person--that I haven't acknowledged yet--and that demands my foremost attention, before absolutely anything else in life. After all, everything in my life, and its course, depends on who I am. That's who's in charge, that's who's driving things. It's the same for everyone in that regard, at least.

 

That's why I suspect nobody can tell you why a certain thing in your life is a certain way, including this. That's really good news, since it also means somebody else's limitations probably have nothing to do with you.

 

So why does it sting? I don't know... 

Can you find out what's behind it? And can you change it into something you like? Maybe. I don't know, as I said. It's all for you to find out. What stops someone else has no reason to stop you, too--just because you're both human. Don't let it. If you feel the fight in you, don't let it go to waste. They aren't you--you aren't them. There's so much that could go to waste if you just believe that what looks like a limitation is a limitation, and not a sign that there's something to explore and unravel--something tying a painful knot just to get your attention. It might just be what you're looking for.

 

There's so much that happens in a lifetime. I don't for a split second believe I should have to make peace with being something I don't like. It's me, you know? The thing that lives my life. It will not stop me.

 

That's my view. I hope it helps on some degree--I wish you all the best.