BOOBS! Why do people find them so hard to write for?

[Rodeo]

We all love boobs, but why do so many writers find it so impossible to write for them in their RPing?  The vast majority of people who I've RPed with over the years honestly struggle to write for boobs, even when I specifically ask them too, and even in a couple of cases I've had partners refuse to write for them and quit the RP when I ask them too.  And I get it, people aren't going to write anime boob physics into every post that they make, whole paragraphs dedicated to how they just sit there when the character is doing nothing more exciting than watching TV.  But I've rarely come across any writer who writes for them unless they are the absolute centre of what's going on, and some who outright refuse.

No joke, I had a partner once whose character was naked and being held upside down and bounced up and down (Giving blowjob to a demon like a fleshlight) and when I asked them to write about their characters chest, pointing out the literal impossibility that they're doing nothing, they refused to it and quit the RP.

Is it just me?  or do other people have this problem? (from both sides as writers and readers of scenes with boobs)  Is this a male writer or a female writer exclusive problem?  Talk about it with me!  I find it to be a strange oxymoron of how you'd think things are, and find it hard to believe that in all my collective years of writing I've 'just so happened' to never find someone who writes for them naturally and well. (Usually the best I can find is someone who writes for them when specifically requested, moment to moment and needing to be asked every time)

[AJoeOfSubjectiveQuality]

Well, I'm a guy so I can't definitively say for certain why this is, but I have made observations and sometimes got answers to questions so that I feel that I can at least spark discussion.

1. Women don't have the same perspective about how their boobs move during sex. Unless they're watching porn or engaging in voyeurism, they can only feel the movement or sometimes see them moving into and out of their field of vision. There's much that they can infer, but that's not the same as surety.

2. Boob movement during sex is often assumed in writing. Long hair gets into peoples' mouths, knees can be bruised, feet are shifted into different positions, and often this goes unnoticed because those bits aren't the focal point of the action. In your demon example, we all know that gravity and motion are making them flop up and down or back and forth but unless they are smacking her in the face or somehow interfering you have to ask yourself is that really a pertinent detail? To some it could be, but to others it might be just a distraction. If it's important to you, perhaps you can incorporate the details yourself? "The bouncing of her large breasts to the rhythm was mesmerizing."

3. It's hard to describe breast movement during sex prettily. Small breasts jiggle, large ones flop, sway, or bounce. What looks sexy to the eye might not easily translate to the written word well, and some folks might not want to break the mood to consult their thesaurus every time there's a change in position.

4. Women often do not worship their own breasts. Guys can be slaves to them, and even women can gush and grope other women, but in my experience women are less enthusiastic about their own boobs than others are. Large ones can draw unwanted attention, small ones derision (want to destroy a woman with small breasts' ego? Say the words 'training bra' out loud in any context), the fold where the bottom meets their sternum can become sweaty and make them self-conscious, they have to spend a lot of money and effort to find comfortable bras, etc. And for women with really large breasts they can be a source of discomfort or pain. The next time you see a women with spectacular hooters take a look at her shoulders; you may well see permanent grooves that her bra straps have carved into her flesh and muscle over the years. Whilst they might appreciate any positive effects their breasts bring them, I've never seen a woman who appreciates her own to the same extent that others might.

5. Titty-fucking isn't their preferred position/style of sex. Even if they have the boobs to do it, we might not have the junk for it; some women's breasts do not meet in the center of their chests so for we under-hung guys they might have to really smash their boobs together just to get the friction going. And speaking of, how many of us are going to reach for the lube before going there to prevent irritating her skin? Saliva can help to a point, but hawk tua stops being sexy after a while. And this position also makes them very passive and submission, and not all women like that. There's no clitoris on their sternum, so they're not getting the same level of pleasure as we guys do. IMHO, women writers are probably not going to go there with the same gusto as males unless their characters are genuinely trying to please their male lovers.

If you'll indulge a bit of sidetracking, there was an urban legend going around in my early teens about a stripper named Busty Hearts who caused a man to have a heart attack and die from the very sight of them. I suppose that I could fact check this now that the internet is a thing, but back then you had to buy newspapers or watch broadcast news on television to get confirmation of that sort of thing. But let's assume it's 100% true and put ourselves into her stilettos. You're a woman showing her bits to people for money on stages in dimly lit clubs with blaring music. You drop your top, and some stranger that you've never met and that you want to give you cash suddenly gasps, falls out of his chair, and drops dead on the spot. We guys might think, "Oh! The Power of Boobs!" and snigger over it but that woman would likely have needed years of therapy.

To sum up my ramblings, there's a big perspective discontinuity here between the genders. Kinks and turn-ons may be obvious to one but not necessarily so to someone else. Also, since the written word doesn't convey tone of voice well, constructive criticism can be taken as trying to make them feel stupid. Take this response: I'm trying to write from an objective, quasi-intellectual POV to educate and spark discussion, but some may feel that I'm trying to belittle you by pointing out things that they may feel are obvious.

I don't know the solution to your problem, though. Maybe a blurb in your preferences that you like small details from players of female characters about their body movements and use boob movement as a specific example?

[BlueBee]

@AJoeOfSubjectiveQualityyou wrote a well written response! As a woman with boobies, this made me be seen