Better Than Alone - poetry

[WickedCadrach]

Attention. That's what's caught 
In the few inches your skull shifts,
His fist in your hair, vision blurring 
Just before the e-brake strain of neck tendons.
Just before the slap that ignites oil-red blood,
Eyes defiant, brain gone feral, and your stupid,
Stupid mouth about to say something that's so--
you.
Something you heard in a porno while your fingers,
Loud inside of you like dual exclamation points,
Wrote them into you, bringing you to life,
Animating your clay body--the golem whore, 
Pygmalion in an Iron Maiden t-shirt 
Pinching off a roach stained in black lipstick.
Your thoughts were somewhere else,
But now they're here, on him.
Just like your hands. 
Just like your mouth.
Just like your pussy.
Attention. And you're caught
In the slam of your elbow connecting with the wall, 
The 'fuck-you' energy of shoving his chest knowing
He's too large to move while his own push moves you,
The sharpness of teeth, hands pulling your collar,
A fishing net dragging you, limbs collapsing together,
And the lawless physicality of torn skinny-jeans,
Tank tops, and boots you're not sure you want to kick off 
Or stomp into. Unsure
Because the anarchy in your blood that makes you struggle,
That brings your legs together just so he'll force them apart,
It tells you there's shattered glass under you.
But you are an animal of steaming skin,
bare fangs and tongue, and bleeding--
Bleeding is just one more thing this undomesticated body does.
Just like fucking.
Just like singing.
Just like murder and pain and painkilling.
Attention. Fading fast. 
He tries to get it back, but you've called yourself worse.
It's a sort of native language--intuitive and thoughtless.
Just like ordering your drink.
Just like that final wordless groan.
Just like calling your reflection 'you'
Because it's better than being alone.