nuzlocke Ultra Calamity: A Pokemon Ultra Moon Nuzlocke - Episode 11: The Ultra Poni Canyon

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So, before we get into the plot filled fun times that is Poni Island, let me just say one thing.  I added Thug Life, that Scraggy we caught on Route 16, to the team.  Raising her up was a pain since I'm saving my Roto Exp. Points for when I really need them.  Along with that, I have to get my secret weapon ready to go.  Anyway, we have a date with Plot Island, so let's get to it, why don't we?

Thanks to Gladion and his boat driving skills that he somehow has, we arrive in the last town in the game, Seafolk Village.  Almost nobody lives on this island, which apparently makes it the perfect place for all the major story events to happen.  Gladion informs us that we need to find the kahuna, but considering the last time with Nanu not revealing himself as the kahuna until the last second, I have a feeling this won't be a simple task.  Meanwhile, Lillie and Gladion have a sibling moment before he goes off to clean up the Aether Foundation's mess while we go take care of the eventual Necrozma problem.  So, are you ready for almost immediete interruptions because that's how this game works?  If you answered yes, go get yourself a cookie, because as soon as we walk towards Lillie, we're interrupted for the 9001 time in this playthrough by some weird chick standing on a Wailord boat...shop thing.

This is Mina, the local captain.  I have some choice things to say about her, but we'll save that for later.  Trust me, she'll be important later.  Unlike everyone else in this game, she cuts right to the chase, but we're here to take care of other problems.  Apparently, meeting the kahuna is a problem.  Didn't I say this wouldn't be so simple?  Why does this game love to prove me right?  Before we do go and hunt down Hapu and wherever she lives on Poni Island, we have bigger fish to fry, and in this case, it's an encounter.  We can only get something in Seafolk Village by fishing, but something's better than nothing, am I right? 

So on the Steelix boat...house thing, you can score a Flash Cannon TM, which is cool.  As for the encounter, it's the big boy himself, Wailmer.  I ran into a lot of Magikarps before fishing this big one out.  As usual, with the almighty power of Quick Ball technology, I caught the Wailmer and chose to name her Bus.  Why Bus?  I don't know.  It's just a random name and I can't think of something creative for Wailord.  So...this Wailmer kinda sucks, to be honest.  Low defenses, but lots of HP.  It's moves leave a lot to be desired and I don't have a good Water type TM.  Sure, we'll be getting one shortly, but right now, especially since Master Derp is still very much alive, I don't really need Bus.  It's more power in the PC.  With that out of the way, I'm gonna go and restock on Quick Balls since they are apparently the ultimate tool for catching first encounters, and then we'll move onward.

With thirty Quick Balls in hand, it's off to Poni Wilds.  Lillie has her Max Repels and we have an encounter to get.  So for some reason, you can encounter Furfrou in this place, but I already have Styles, so...that's interesting to know, at least.  I ended up running into a Granbull...that didn't have Intimidate.  While I could've used Quick Ball technology, I wanted to press my luck and see if it could SOS one with the ability I want.  Lucky for me, it SOS'd an Intimidate Granbull first try, so this could work out for me eventually.

So despite it's scary appearance, it's a bad watchdog.  Since I already have a Lillipup named Watchdog, I think I'll name this Granbull The Bully.  Why?  It looks like a bully.  Anyway, looking at The Bully's stats, she reminds me a bit of Styles since he has an ability that helps his awful Defense like how The Bully has Intimidate.  A shame that, at the moment, I really can't fit The Bully into the team.  I may have use for her in the future, but for now, it's box time for her.  And now, with that encounter out of the way, we can access Poni Beach, the final Mantine Surfing spot in the game.  There's no move tutor or other lady who sells stuff and things, but...to be honest, the only reason you'd ever come here is if you want the reward for getting the high score on all four Mantine Surfing spots.

Speaking of the reward, I brought it up earlier, but I don't think I ever explicitly said what it is you get.  Well, you get yourself a Lv. 40 Pikachu with Surf.  Yes, you can use a Thunderstone on it straight away to evolve it into Raichu, and then you'll have a surfing Alolan Raichu.  Before, this thing was a pain to get your hands on legit, almost like Deoxys until Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire came out and made it catchable at the final battle of the Delta Episode.  I might do the Mantine Surfing in my own time, but for now, we have a date with Hapu...and her Mudsdale by association, so let's hop to it.

So as you're walking through Poni Wilds, you'll begin to notice that the trainer variety has changed to be primarily Ace Trainers.  Get used to them.  Since we are in lategame territory, trainers like these guys (and their annoying variety pack of mons) will be fairly common sights around these parts, especially in a certain place we'll be heading to soon.  Trust me, we'll talk about it when we get there.  So anyway, after blowing up a few Ace Trainers (and a random chef), we end up at Ancient Poni Path.  Of course, when we see a Mudsdale, we're on the right track.  Although, there's no sign of Hapu...or not.  She just walked out of her house.

So while Hapu compliments Lillie's new look, we have business to attend to, and that's finding the kahuna.  And here's where my assumption from earlier proves to be right.  There is no kahuna for Plot-I mean, Poni Island.  So now...we're going to head to the ruins.  How will that solve our kahunaless kahuna problem?  Hell if I know.  Before we go, though, some stalker woman appears.  Turns out it's Hapu's grandmother while a random Machamp approaches us and poses like this is an episode of Jojo's Bizarre Adventure.  Anyway, she'll take our Ride Pager for a second and...

With a very awkward carrying method, we got Machamp for our Ride Pager.  I'm no princess, but being cradled around by a Machamp just feels and looks...awkward.  Anyway, this is required, so that kinda sucks for me.  This does open up a thing in Lush Jungle, and it's sure to help me.  So, I'll fly over there first, then it's off to the Ruins of Hope.  You know, hope.  The thing I probably won't have any of left by the time this nuzlocke is over.  I'll be a new Junko Enoshima by the end if the despair happens as I think it will.

Rotom talks about his fantasy about wanting to carry me around.  First he calls me a naughty girl in the original game, and now this.  Would it be bestiality for a Rotom Pokedex to get with a human girl?  You know what, I think it's better not to ask.  Anyway, Lush Jungle, the site of my starter's demise.  During your trial, you were likely to see a gigantic square stone that you couldn't possibly move.  Well, with the awkward power of Machamp Shove, these big, square stones are a problem of the past.  So, after pushing aside a big stone and another big stone in a cave that is still part of Lush Jungle, you are rewarded with a TM for Energy Ball.  A good Grass move that I'm putting on Spark Plug right away to help with his rather poor movepool.  Anyway, next up on our hitlist is Ten Carat Hill...even though the item there is useless to me, personally.

Man, I sure don't miss Tutorial Island.  I actually missed another encounter here because of yet another absolutely forgettable area, but we'll get to that in a second.  Ten Carat Hill actually also has something I completely missed even though we could've gotten it when we came here to get Danger Zone.  Past the entrance to the Farthest Hollow (in which I was pointed out that I could've gotten an encounter in the Farthest Hollow, but I ended up never doing it), there is a higher entrance, and in this place...is the Flyinium Z.  Why is it here of all places?  It's like how the Psychium Z is in Haina Desert, and I grabbed that offscreen.  Anyway, after you snag this Z-Crystal, some random woman will show up and teach us the pose for this Z-move.  We have no idea who this woman is or why she just happened to show up now, but don't worry.  We'll be seeing her again later, and I have some choice words about her.  Now, before we get back to the plot, we still have an encounter on Melemele Sea to get...and a TM.  Let's hit it.

So near Kukui's lab is a large body of water.  You could've come back here after getting Lapras from Lana, but to fully explore this place, Sharpedo is required...and having Charizard Glide makes your life infinitely easier, so let's be real here, why would you come back here before getting Charizard Glide?  Anyway, hopping on the water on our Sharpedo and ramming through rocks, we find ourselves a Mantyke.  It's only Level 15, which is far too low for this point of the game, and all it took was the almighty power of Quick Ball technology.  Oh, and it can't evolve without Remoraid, so it's actually useless.  I'll name him Kite, but since he can never evolve since the odds of me finding a Remoraid as a first encounter on a lategame water route is next to nonexistent, I don't think we need to bother with looking at him.  For the curious sort, though, it's Hardy nature with Swift Swim, has the same glaring Electric weakness as Mailbird did, and his moves kinda suck.  Fairly uneventful mon.  Anyway, I'm gonna go hunt down the TMs and items and fly back to Plot Island.

So you thought we were done with encounters?  Nope, not at all.  Actually, there are two more encounters for us, hot off the press.  One for Poni Breaker Coast, where we have to go anyway, and one for Ancient Poni Path.  Since we have to pass through Poni Breaker Coast to get an encounter on Ancient Poni Path, let's get our Breaker Coast encounter first.  As for that, it's a Dragalge.  A Dragon type...but it's also a Poison type.  It's something.  It's also weak to Ice, so take this mon with a grain of salt.  Anyway, I'm gonna name him Evil Kelp...because he hides in seaweed.

A Defense lowering nature on a mon with an Ice weakness.  That's...bad.  Poison Touch is also bad since this thing will mainly be using special attacks.  Oh, and fun fact, Dragalge can learn Thunderbolt.  Yeah, a Pokemon that lives in water can learn Thunderbolt, but, you know, Starmie and Lapras beat it to the punch.  A shame that I have no space for him.  Anyway, time for Ancient Poni Path, and it shall grace us with the almighty and all powerful Scald TM.  Finally, a good Water type move.  Huh?  The encounter?  Oh yeah, that.  It was an Inkay.  I used the almighty power of Quick Ball technology to catch it, but if it doesn't have Contrary, it's hardly worth my time.  Anyway, I named her Metroid...because yes.

Suction Cups.  That is all.  It's a bad encounter.  At least we got a really good TM out of the deal.  Welp, to the box with Metroid.  Let's get on to that story, why don't we?

So before we go and proceed with the game, I should point out that while there is a route we can visit, we can't explore it at all.  It is completely locked away during the main story.  A shame, really.  That's where some of the good TMs are hidden.  Oh well, time to explore the Ruins of Hope, home of Tapu Fini.  Like the Ruins of Life, we get this creepy music.  Anyway, Hapu's Mudsdale is waiting outside, so Hapu must've went in.  Apparently, Tapu Fini can wash away impurity with it's water.  That's cool and all, but I doubt it'll help Nebby.  Before we can get to the end, though, we have more giant square blocks to push with Machamp.

With those blocks out of the way, we reach the main room of the ruins...where Hapu is.  Lillie runs in, rambling on about the island guardians and stuff.  Meanwhile, Hapu is handed over the Z-Power Ring from Tapu Fini...and becomes Poni Island's new kahuna.  What happened to the old one?  Well...he died suddenly, so then there was no kahuna on Poni Island.  Hapu wasn't chosen by the tapu the first time she tried, so she traveled around the region to get stronger.

Now that we've solved that problem, we give Hapu the rundown and that we need Lunala to go after Good Person Lusamine and Guzma before Necrozma kills them or something.  In order to call up Lunala, we need two flutes.  The Sun Flute that Lillie already has and the other one, which for some reason is on Exeggutor Island.  Well, since we need that flute right now, it's time to head back to Seafolk Village so we can get a ride over there.

With the almighty power of Charizard Glide, we're back to Seafolk Village...again.  So while Hapu and Lillie have a little chat about friendship...ok, so what is this, an episode of classic Yu-gi-oh?  Anyway, we have to talk to Mina to get a boat to Exeggutor Island...for some reason.  Turns out that Nanu has been doing the Grand Trials for Poni Island due to a lack of a kahuna until about five minutes ago.  Anyway, after giving Mina the rundown that we need a ride to Exeggutor Island, there's a weird dude standing on the Wailord boat with a Pelipper.  This guy is the chief of the seafolk, but from this moment forward, he shall now be named Steve.  So Steve was listening in on this girls only conversation like some kind of creepy stalker.  Although, this isn't the original games, so we gotta shoot Lillie's character arc in the head again.

So, this is a thing I have failed to bring up through a majority of the game so far, but most of Lillie's character arc has been almost completely pushed aside in this game.  In the original Sun and Moon, you go with Lillie to Exeggutor Island, get attacked by an Exeggutor, have a chat while waiting out a sudden downpour, and then snag the flute.  It was a good time.  That good time does not exist in this game.  May as well put a gun to the poor girl's head.  I can just see the comments about me suddenly saying nice things about Lillie when I complained about her earlier on.  That's beside the point, though.  We have to go alone to Exeggutor Island and find that flute.

Well, it's raining.  That sure isn't a good sign.  We also get a look at the flute we're suppose to be going after.  There's some Exeggutor shaking their heads about like it's the newest dance craze...not that I even know what the current dance craze is.  Call me old if you want, I'm not even that old yet.  Apparently, according to Steve, Exeggutor Island used to be a trial site.  I wonder why it's not a trial site now.  Oh well, we have a chance to get an encounter here, and while I could take my chances with the grass, these Exeggutor are acting...a little odd.  Upon investigating, we learn that they're being bothered by Pinsir.  We need to get them to cut that out, and my first victim will also be my first encounter.  As always, Quick Balls solve all my problems and I got this mold breaking troublemaker in one try.  What did I name her?  The Grip.  Because I don't know.  Me and nicknames don't mix.

So The Grip is another member of Danger Zone's club of "mons that are amazing with their mega evolution, but megas aren't able to be used in the main story of Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon."  Sadly, even with Mold Breaker and eventually learning Superpower, The Grip's moves are fairly lackluster.  Don't get me wrong, she has a lot of Attack for just being caught, but at the same time, it's those moves.  Swords Dance is pretty nice, though.  Still gonna box her, and then clean up the rest of the Pinsir.

After chasing those Pinsir off, the giant necked Exeggutors give us a lift to the flute as thanks for helping out.  With that aside, we go and scoop up the Moon Flute, and we're on our way back to Steve so he can bring us back to Seafolk Village.  Suddenly, the rain stops and there's a rainbow.  That's cool.  Luckily, we just get teleported right back to Seafolk Village.  Mina informs us that we have to play the flutes at the alter...which is in the deepest part of Vast Poni Canyon.  Why did I trail off for a second there?  Trust me, we'll get to that.  For now, I guess it's back to Ancient Poni Path with us.

Our troubles never seem to end, do they?  On the way to Vast Poni Canyon, standing in our way is six Team Skull grunts.  Of course, these guys are idiots, so trying to convince them would just be a waste of time.  There's only one way to get idiots out of the way, and that's to completely crush their hopes and dreams in a battle.  With all of them down and out, Plumeria finally speaks up, considering she was watching the whole thing.  She manages to convince the idiot brigade to back off and then we have a little chat.  I mean, I would say something about Good Person Lusamine, but the moment I do, I'm going to get cut off or censored or something.  Anyway, we'll get a Poisonium Z for free, but it has no use to me. 

And now, ladies and gentlemen...it's time.  Time for one of the scariest areas in the main story, Vast Poni Canyon.  This place may as well be the Victory Road of the original games for...reasons.  We'll get to that later, but the trainer variety on this path is dangerously bad.  I could very easily lose a team member here, and that'll be awful.  We can also get an encounter here, but I'll be using Super Repels to avoid that for now.  Without further delay, let's do it.

The music of my despair.  That lone tree.  The large bridge in the distance.  It's Vast Poni Canyon, alright.  I'm not looking forward to this.  Anyway, walking towards the tree, we run into Hapu again.  If this was the original game, we'd do our Grand Trial right here and now, but of course not.  The Ultra Recon Squad has to show up now of all times.  They think they can handle the Necrozma problem on their own...but they fail to realize Poipole sucks.  I had to blow it up with The Third's Earthquake again just to prove my point.  They can't even beat some random girl, so what makes them think they can handle a legendary like Necrozma?  Idiots everywhere in Alola, I swear.

And now, we're being tasked to fight off Necrozma when it comes here to suck up Alola's light like drinking a milkshake through a straw.  Well, it seems that the Ultra Recon Squad can honestly be on the same level of bad as Team *****.  I don't know why I can't say that one specific word, but whatever.  Just cut me off already.  Um, hello?  Random cut?  Ok, I guess it's not happening this time.  Anyway, how about we-

Anyway, while Lillie ponders the random statue, she hands us over a useless item, and by that, I mean a Max Revive that I can't use.  She's turning into Hau, I swear.  So, she'll catch up to us, leaving us to go on ahead into this nightmarish hell.  The first segment is a straightforward path where you need Tauros to bust through some rocks.  A few trainers with the last one being a double battle against an Alolan Ninetales and Alolan Sandslash, but nothing too super crazy.  Anyway, getting out of that hot mess, we have two paths to go.  I went to the left first in case there were items, but it was the right way while the right path is just a longer path to the same location.  There's some grass in case you're seeking an encounter.

Deeper in we go, finding our way to a Mudsadale optional section.  Getting past the hiker and heading outside, you can take a small hole to another part of this same room, where a Veteran awaits...and likely some goodies too.  I'm personally going for it because the experience and money never hurts.  Maybe throw on a Roto Prize Money if you're hurting for cash at this point.  You can get a TM for Dazzling Gleam if you choose to make it through and survive.  Anyway, let's keep going.

Now, this bridge.  Lillie shows up and this bridge reminds her of when we first met.  You know, when we almost died.  And now, it's time for Lillie's trial, and it's to cross the bridge while Murkrow troll her.  I've learned from playing Pokemon Ranger that Murkrow is a jerk.  Even with the trolly Murkrow, she managed to do it.  Not even bad.  She'll heal up our team and it's back to the painful trek.  Our next room takes advantage of Machamp Shove to push giant square stones into holes so we can reach a ladder...and get ambushed by a guy right after climbing said ladder.

And now, for this bridge.  In the original games, this is where you met Mina, and this is where she just handed you the Fairy type Z-Crystal.  She did say that even though she was a captain, she didn't have a trial.  Not the case in this game, but we'll be getting back to that later.  For now, keep in your hats that Mina's trial is a thing.  It's not now, but let's hope we even get to it.  As we go past, however, a trial gate can be spotted.  A trial gate, all the way out here in the middle of nowhere?  That's...a bit odd.  Anyway, we're near the end.  Up ahead is some grass...and three trainers.

But before we possibly get obliterated by three trainers, we still haven't gotten an encounter, and I'm fishing hardcore for something you can only catch here in Vast Poni Canyon.  Will I get it?  Doubtful, but only one way to find out.  Let's do it!

Mienfoo is not what I wanted, but we take those.  I actually like Mienshao quite a bit.  As usual, Quick Balls solve all my problems.  I'm gonna name him The Whip.  It's the name I always use for Mienfoo or Mienshao.  He's actually...pretty good.  A nature that raises Attack, and he already comes with Regenerator and U-turn.  Drain Punch is pretty nice too for recovery.  If I didn't have Thug Life, I'd put this thing on the team in a heartbeat.  It's one downside is that it's a Unova Pokemon, so it evolves late.  More power in the PC, though.

So, while scouring the area for another good TM, it turns out there's a random Team Skull grunt here....but why?  I guess it's the last time ever you can hear the Team Skull battle theme in the main story, but...why?  This just makes no sense.  He's also incredibly easy because he's a Team Skull grunt.  Anyway, going past him and through this segment made easy with Sharpedo Jet, you can score a TM for Flamethrower.  A shame that Mother's Special Attack sucks.

Now, if you go south of the final segment, you'll find yourself back in the room with the big square stone on the other side of the first trainer you fight in the place.  All you need to do is Machamp Shove the stone into the hole and you have a shortcut back to the beginning of Vast Poni Canyon.  Take this chance to go back and heal up or buy potions and other items, because there is a trial gate here, and we all know what that means.

After three rough battles, the time has come.  It's time for us to proceed and take on...

Trial #7: The Trial of Vast Poni Canyon!  Into the Dragon's Den!

There is no captain.  There is one path.  Step forward and obtain your prize.  That is this trial in a nutshell.  All we need to do is walk forward....until you feel a piercing gaze that seems to cut through you coming from somewhere.  That's a little odd.  Oh well, may as well keep walking and get attacked by a Jangmo-o.  All it took was an Ice Punch to the face.  Although, wailing on that Jangmo-o just made the fierce stare even fiercer than before.  Oh well.  You can score a Dragon Claw TM in here, though.

With the prize in sight, we're attacked by a Hakamo-o...that didn't even take a single Psychic.  Wailing on that Hakamo-o was probably the worst idea ever, because now I feel the fiercest pair of eyes imaginable drilling into me relentlessly.  Whatever is doing the glaring must be very pissed off.  ...Welp, let's just keep going.  All we need to do is take the Z-Crystal and...you know, this reminds me a lot of something.  I feel like we've been through this song and dance before.  Wasn't it a lot like-

Um...hi there.  This is today's totem, Kommo-o.  He gets a boost to all of his stats, and don't think of using Fairy moves on it, because like Araquanid earlier on, this thing has a berry to weaken a Fairy type hit.  Except, unlike Araquanid, this thing is a lot more dangerous...and Level 49.

So, my game plan is simple.  Roto Boost Master Derp a lot and then Psychic to win.  I gave Master Derp the Choice Specs in hopes of netting a quick kill and I have plenty of Roto Boosts to spare.  Although, it turns out this thing has Thunderpunch...because of course it has coverage.  Anyway, the Kommo-o called up a Noivern with Screech and Boomburst, but since Kommo-o has Soundproof, it won't get hurt by that at all.  With three Roto Boosts and a Dire Hit along with some fancy glasses, Kommo-o didn't stand a chance against Psychic.  Noivern ended up meeting a similar fate to our great and powerful Master Derp.  Gotta love how he's been around since Melemele.

So, now that totem is finished, we earn ourselves the Dragonium Z.  So...up ahead is the alter.  We're going to have to face Necrozma and put a stop to it's light sucking plans.  Don't take that out of context.  So...let's go.  Time to save Alola's light...and Good Person Lusamine by association.