nuzlocke Ultra Calamity - A Pokemon Ultra Moon Nuzlocke: Episode 5 - Dance of Ultra Despair

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To be honest, I'm a bit afraid of these upcoming trials.  One is changed ever so slightly and the other one has a very annoying totem to deal with.  The second one is probably one of my least favorite totems, but if you asked me honestly which one I liked, I'd tell you "the easy ones so then I don't get screwed."

Anyway, as usual, I grinded up the team to be ready for the upcoming totem encounter.  Nothing really eventful happened during grinding, but I will say that fighting Oricorio with a Roto Exp. Points is a good way to get experience faster.  But with that aside, it's time to head onto the next town that I totally never mentioned existed in the last episode and should've because it's closer than running back to Heahea City for healing.  Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Royal Avenue, where there's nearly nothing of real important note aside from a store even though you can buy items at the Pokemon Center and...well, we'll get to that second point in a moment because the game's going to force us to go there.  Before we do this thing, though, put something that can beat a Rock type, but isn't weak to Hau's starter in the front of your party.  Trust me on this.

So if you're not hurting for money like I am, the right clerk at the Poke Mart sells TMs.  Sadly, these TMs are all just weather setup moves and are pretty expensive for this point of the game.  To me, they're all just a waste of a move slot unless you're running a team built around specific weather.  Pick your poison, I guess.  Other than that, if you've got yourself an Oricorio, you can score Pink Nectar here in order to change your Oricorio to the Psychic/Flying form able to be caught outright here on Akala Island.  Don't do it.  Out of Oricorio's four type options, Electric/Flying is probably the best one in terms of how many weaknesses it has.  It's up to you, though.  I won't and can't force you to run an Oricorio form if you don't like it's appearance or type or something.  Anyway, let's get to that plot, shall we?

As you walk towards the way out of this town, you'll spot Mr. Edgelord, or as I should call him, Gladion, walking into this building.  This building is where the Pokemon Battle Royales take place.  We have no choice but to go there, so I can blather on about that in a second.  For good measure, I'll repeat what I said previously.  Put something that can beat a Rock type, but is not weak to Hau's starter in the front of the party before you walk inside.  For me, it's Danger Zone.  He can resist Dartrix's moves and has Brick Break.  I'm honestly a bit surprised he's putting in some work despite my earlier complaints about his level up moves.

As you step inside and towards the middle of the room, some dude in a mask who doesn't wear a shirt shouts out at us, and he's (apparently) here to spread the word about the Battle Royal.  He calls himself the Masked Royal, but he sure talks a lot like another guy I know who doesn't wear a shirt.  Apparently, the Battle Royal is a format passed down in Alola for generations.  I want to say something, but we'll get to that.  So, we're going to get dragged into a battle, Hau's here for some reason and wants to take part, Gladion's going to get dragged in even though he was just standing around like a log, and then we got the Masked Royal himself.

Now, let's talk about the Battle Royal.  To make a possibly overly complicated story short, it's Nintendo's way of making a free-for-all.  Each trainer normally has three mons, and when one person runs out, it's over.  This concept is flawed, and just doing multi battles and being free to target your "ally" is a much better way to do free-for-alls.  This battle that we got dragged into is just a tutorial of the Battle Royal.  Hau will always use his starter, Gladion will have Type: Null, and the Masked Royal will have a...Rockruff?  Hmmm, why does that remind me of someone else who had a Rockruff and gave a pointless tutorial about how to use Z-Moves.  Anyway, target Rockruff with a move Rock types are weak to and you should win in about a turn or two...

...or Hau can use Razor Leaf and kill it for me.  I swear, everyone targeted Rockruff.  It was actually pretty funny.  But don't think the real thing is that simple.  For some ungodly reason, the bots have this stupid habit of always targeting the player whenever they can, and hardly go after each other.  It's pretty stupid if you ask me.  With that little bit of exposition aside, some dude says we were on fire...even though Danger Zone didn't get to do anything since he's super slow.  Turns out this is the next captain, Kiawe.  Not much for conversation, I guess.  Anyway, the "Masked Royal" knows who Hau and I are.  Hmm, sounds like a guy who gave me Tiny who also knows who my character's name is.  I'm gonna stop doing that, because it should be obvious by now that the Masked Royal is-

So our last stop before we leave Royal Avenue is Thrifty Megamart, a supermarket...?  The short story is that there are some items you can score here at a lower price than the average Poke Mart, and whenever you go inside, you get a special discount coupon only usable in their store.  Sounds like something your local grocery store would probably do.  Not that I would know because as far as I know, the grocery stores I go to don't really do that.  But to be real here, I go to the ones people know about, so yeah.  You can't buy Super Potions here, so I'd say unless you want lower price Great Balls or status curing items, it's not worth your time.  Let's go explore a volcano area, why don't we?

Welcome to Route 7.  To the north is a gate that we can't go past until we're done with the trial because linear path, but we can get an encounter here even if it'll just be some Water type.  You never know, it could be useful for this upcoming trial.  So, let's hop on Lapras and see what we can get.

I hate my luck.  I chose to fish instead of hit the water, and all I get for my efforts is a Magikarp.  Absolutely useless until Lv. 20, but then it has the potential to be extremely good.  Another shining example of something that would be even better if megas were able to be used in the main story.  Gyarados is no slacker, though.  I'd say it's pretty good, but raising up Magikarp is quite a chore, especially in a nuzlocke.  It also only has Splash until Lv. 15.  I lucked out and the original Magikarp SOS'd for another Magikarp, but this one was Lv. 17.  Maybe I can get good natures sometime soon in this run.

Blue Shrimp the Magikarp is yet another member of the "bad nature" club.  I swear I say that more than anything else in this run, but it's so true.  I really am cursed.  Alright, let's just put the curse aside and move on to the next area, Wela Volcano Park.  We can get an encounter there, too.  Let's just hope it's something...decent?  At this point, I may have to start praying for good encounters.

Cubone as my first encounter.  How do I feel about this one?  To be honest, I'm not sure until we see what it's got under the hood.  First, it's female, so I'm going to name it Mother, as a reference to Gen 1 when Cubone's mother was-

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls.  For the first time in the history of the Pokemon Ultra Moon Nuzlocke, we have gotten a nature that isn't trash.  Impish Cubone isn't horrible.  She's not really going to need her Special Attack stat and the added Defense is always nice to have.  At the same time, though, I already have a full team that's raised up and ready for the trial, and she'll eventually evolve into a Fire/Ghost type.  I have Tiny and Spooky, who already have those types.  For now, I'll box her, but on the off chance I want to ditch Spooky or something happens to him or Tiny, I'll be considering Mother to fill in their spot, even if raising her up will be a bit of a pain.

So Wela Volcano Park shouldn't be too intimidating.  To be fair, there isn't much to it in the first place.  You'll reach the path to the trial site before you even explore the rest of the place since the full park experience is optional.  There are a few goodies and a TM to snag if you really want to grab them.  To be honest, I'm gonna do it before we do this trial.  I-it's not because I'm scared or anything.  I just...want to be prepared.  Nothing else!  Just being prepared!

Anyway, please excuse my second tsundere moment of this run.  On my way to collect the stuff, Spooky almost died from a Rock Blast from a Roggenrola when I switched Master Derp out.  Let's just say I got lucky it only got four hits (and of course the first one was a crit).  Spooky lives to haunt more Pokemon.    Anyway, my options for this trial are fairly limited due to what the totem is.  I'm going to use Master Derp since, once you start this trial, you can't switch which Pokemon you put in the front until it's over.  Save your game, prepare yourself, and head through the gate to the peak of the volcano.  So, as always, it's time for...

Trial #3: The Trial of Kiawe! Dance Dance Memorization!

So, this trial is a test of observation.  A lot of games have parts like this, when you'll be shown one thing, then shown it again.  The second time, the game will want you to find the difference.  In this case, if you're right, you'll be facing an Alolan Marowak.  From this point, afterward, the answers are so obvious that you should not fail this.  The second dance, for some random reason, will add a hiker to the mix that you'll have to battle because you'll only get this wrong unless you're being a meme.  Anyway, one Magmar encounter later and we're onto the big one.  Prepare yourself for the final dance.

This answer is much more obvious in the original games, but here it is, Totem Alolan Marowak.  It gets +2 Speed, so there is a very likely chance it will outspeed your entire team at this point of the game.  Be careful with this one as it has a Thick Club, which doubles it's Attack.  Yes, doubles it's already threatening Attack stat.  If you have a Water type...you should be safe.  In theory.  It has Hex and can call in a Salazzle, the evolution of a Pokemon you can encounter in Wela Volcano Park.

So...my plan was to put the Marowak to sleep, then use Danger Zone to pick him off.  Turns out that's a bad idea because the Salazzle can poison him even if he's a Steel type thanks to it's Corrosion ability.  It also has annoyingly high Special Attack with Flame Burst.  Let's just say that Danger Zone didn't last a second.  Spooky, sadly, met a sad fate too.  Salazzle outsped him and hit him with a Flame Burst as I went for Curse to ware down the totem.  He ended up biting the dust too.  Plan C was to use Class Act, who outspeeds Salazzle, to do damage to the totem.  He couldn't kill the Marowak, then it turns out the stupid thing had Brick Break, because of course it did!  Welp, there goes half my team in an instant.  At least Spooky's Curse took down the totem.

Tiny had to come in, and with a Roto Boost, was able to finish the Salazzle and end this nightmare.  While we get a Firium Z, it's still a bitter victory when half of my team's lives were taken to secure us this victory.  Danger Zone, Spooky, and Class Act.  You were all valuable members of our squad, and you all knew what we were getting into.  For our efforts, we get some Quick Balls and the ability to use Charizard Glide, which is this game's version of Fly.  Still doesn't change how half of my team is dead.

Danger Zone, despite my earlier complaints, you did all you could to prove me wrong, that a regular Mawile with lackluster moves could still be a force of nature.  If only you had Intimidate, though, as Class Act may have had the chance to survive that Brick Break...but he got poisoned too, so I doubt it, to be honest.

Spooky...I honestly had no faith you would live long.  You get almost no good moves for at least half the game, and you couldn't outspeed a Salazzle.  But, without you sacrificing yourself to Curse the totem, it may have been the end of the locke.  Even in your final moments, you tried to make yourself useful.

And Class Act, yet another team member I didn't have much faith would last long.  You were our team's speedy, yet classy, cat.  You put the final nail in the totem's coffin, but sadly, it chose to take you to the grave with it.  Rest knowing you did put in a little bit of work.

Welp, now we're in a spot.  I need to fill three spots, then level them up to around Lv. 24.  Let's think about what we got and who we can put in the team.  First is Tiny.  We already have a major Rock type problem, and that's bad.  The only things I have that won't get totally ruined by Rock is Magneto, Styles, Hex, Amphy, and Watchdog.  Amphy and Magneto share the same Ground weakness too, which is also bad.  At this point, Watchdog is looking like my best choice unless I really want to train Hex up to make him into an Espeon.

Spark Plug still has a long wait before his evolution, and he really lacks in Speed.  Sadly, so does everything in my PC right now except maybe Buzz Buzz, but it goes back to the Rock weakness problem that is actually very bad at this specific point of the game.  Fire is no issue thanks to having Master Derp.  Speaking of him...

Ghost, Dark, Bug, Electric, and Grass.  I have next to no solutions for those problems at the moment, which is pretty bad.  Our next trial is Mallow's Grass trial, and the totem there sucks too.  At this point, there are options.  We could go back to Melemele and get the encounter leftover from Kala'e Bay.  There are two static encounters on Melemele, but we can't access them until after Akala's Grand Trial.  This is bad because I need team members to balance out the team right now, not later.  I'll stop ranting and ponder on who I'll use in my own time.  For those who are still pushing through, even if it's a lot of me complaining about bad natures and 69 ways to not get screwed, I really appreciate it.  I may not say it out loud, but know that I do appreciate it.  So, I'll plan out what we're going to use and next time we're going to hit up the next route for, hopefully, something that can help balance out this mess of a team.