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nuzlocke Ultra Calamity: A Pokemon Ultra Moon Nuzlocke - Episode 17: Ultra Disaster

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Hello, and welcome back to...wait a minute, what the hell is this?  Why does the script make this sound like an intro for a YouTube video?  It looks like I'll be having a nice, long talk with the script crew about this one tonight.  It will not be a pleasant conversation, I'll tell you that much.  That's not what we're here for, though.  Today, it's time to scour the Alola region for content now unlocked since we've become conqueror of Alola.  Well, sort of, since we aren't going anywhere near Aether Paradise.  Now, let's not beat around the bush, let's...oh wait, I forgot.  Before we do go and take care of business, let's talk about team changes.

Since Captain Keys died, we're short one team member.  While I could always put Spark Plug back on the team, he's cursed, so the chances of him getting killed are very high.  Instead, I chose to put Mother back in the team.  Speaking of Mother, she's seen a bit of growth since she was last in the party, and by that, I mean she's level 70.  No, I am not joking.  How do you think I grinded up Blue Shrimp and Shadow before we fought the Elite Four?  So...yeah, Mother will be our red button on non Water types so that she doesn't die.  With that aside, let us begin postgame exploration, starting with everyone's favorite, Tutorial Island.

First, we have to pay a visit to everyone's favorite shirtless murderer, Professor Kukui.  All you have to do is talk to him, and finally, after all the horrid grinding, he hands over the almighty Lucky Egg.  For those not in the know, the Lucky Egg boosts the experience gained from encounters, and when you combine that with how the Exp. Share spreads to all party members along with a hot grinding spot I'll be mentioning later, the pain and torment of grinding against Oricorios in Ula'ula Meadow is a thing of the past.  Now, here's my question that I've been holding onto since midgame?

Why the hell did they not give us this item before?!

Like, seriously, why?  In Black and White, you get the Lucky Egg just handed to you in Chargestone Cave for free.  Sure, in Black 2 and White 2, you need to go out of your way to talk to Professor Juniper at Celestial Tower to get the Lucky Egg, but Gen 5 and X and Y are the only times they give you the item in the main story.  Sure, you can argue that you can DexNav Pelippers in Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire to get a stockpile of Lucky Eggs and argue that you had to work for your experience points in other generations, but it's a glaring problem here.  Vanilla Sun and Moon has a sudden level spike at Lusamine 2, and there are no Rotom Powers to make the grind easier in that game.  There is zero excuse for why this item is postgame only, and this alone was a bad design choice.

Ok, sorry, I kinda strayed into a rant there.  Let's move on, because next on our hitlist for Tutorial Island is Hau'oli City.  First, clothes shopping.  What, you thought I was done talking about clothes in this game after the "knee high socks" ramble earlier on?  No, of course not.  Anyway, going to that one place where we caught the Bewear earlier in the game, there's a clothes shop here...and the prices are actually insane.  You can also scoop up the Gracidea, the item to change Shaymin's form, but good luck getting one of those easily because it's an event only mon.  Anyway, that's not what we're here to talk about.  We're here to talk about the radical prices in this place.  I know very little about the male character variety, but you can get some ultra pricey designer tops, 55k sandals, satchel bags that break the bank, some nice, but pricey hats, and, when you become the champion, a special set can be bought.  For males, there's a Kommo-o set of clothes while for females, a Lurantis set.  To be honest, I'm not a fan of the Lurantis set much, more specifically, I'm not a fan of the Luran Tank.  It's just me, though.  I'm not too big on crop tops (or any midriff exposing tops, really), but then again, I despise jeans too, so your mileage may vary.


As a visual reference, this is the full set.  I found a picture on Google.  Why am I showing you this image instead of buying the items myself?  Because, combined, they are the most expensive clothing items in the game.  The Luran Tank and Shorts each cost 600,000 Poke Dollars while the shoes cost 500,000 and the headband costs 700,000.  We will be coming along a lot of money in the future, so if you really, really want to splurge on all this stuff, have fun grinding up 2,400,000 Poke Dollars.  Now, nobody can say I didn't talk about the Lurantis set, and this will be the last I speak of these items.  Not about clothes because more clothing related things are on our list.  Let's move on, though.

For this next one, we're going to pay a visit to Captain Ilima, and battle him because I didn't do it earlier.  Anyway, nobody died, but his mons are Level 60 now, so be careful.  Anyway, walking out of his room and going back in, he'll ask us to go to Verdant Cavern and put a piece of Normalium Z on the pedestal instead of him.  So, we get, and I quote this exactly from the game's own text, "the Ilima's Normalium Z."  Wow.  Such fantastic writing.  I bet the same person who wrote that also wanted every cutscene in this game to be unskippable.  Anyway, there are apparently a bunch of young trial-goers doing their island challenge even though we never saw any such people at all because this game has solid writing.  Anyway, even though we have a task from Captain Ilima, we're going to blow him off and do other stuff first.  Verdant Cavern isn't going anywhere, anyway.

What does Alola Photo Club offer us?  Crown stickers, and that's it.  Let's talk about Iki Town, because there's stuff there we can do.  Well, that's a lie.  By "some stuff," I mean we can battle Hala, who got shafted out of his Elite Four spot.  We can also go up to Mahalo Trail and find Lillie with Nebby, when I could've sworn that she went to Aether Paradise.  Nice game design, designers.  Guess they didn't account for the fact someone wouldn't go and do Rainbow Rocket straight away.  Anyway, you have a chance to catch your cover legendary, and with Necrozma being able to be caught since Mount Lanakila, you can roll through Rainbow Rocket with Dusk Mane or Dawn Wings Necrozma if you're really into that.  This is a nuzlocke, so I'm not allowed to do that.  A shame, but I set these rules upon myself.  Anyway, let's move on.  We have more to talk about.

Since Tutorial Island hardly had anything noteworthy to begin with, it stands to reason that all we have left outside getting a TM from a house on Route 2 is Verdant Cavern.  Be prepared before you head inside the Totem's Den, because, we have to fight...


Him, again.  And guess what?  They never fixed the Gumshoos cry.  This game is so lazy, I swear.  Anyway, it's time for our rematch with our very first totem, Alolan Raticate, and this thing isn't playing games this time.  First, it's Level 60 now, so I guess either Captain Ilima has been feeding it Rare Candies or venomization is a thing outside the Tales of Zesteria/Berseria universe and it's been killing Rattatas to get stronger.  Anyway, if you want to bother with Fighting moves, it also has a Chople Berry, which will reduce the power of a Fighting type hit one time only.  I mean, you could always do what I did on the Araquanid earlier in the run and Bug Bite the berry away, but who uses Bug Bite in postgame?

That's not the point.  We still have one other problem.  This thing gets the Totem Ribombee treatment and gets +2 to all it's stats.  Unlike Ribombee, though, this thing has no broken setup move.  Well, it has Double Team, but with my almighty strategy, that won't mean anything.  I chose to lead with Shadow for one reason only, and that is Toxic.  Yes, I am using true degenerate strategies and planning to stall this thing to death.  It's only fair, after all.  If it wants to be using evasion moves, I'll use Toxic stall.  So, the deal here is that, no matter how many of it's allies you slay, more will come without end until the Raticate (or Gumshoos if you're following along and playing Ultra Sun) is down.  Toxic stall.  It is a strategy.  I also still have plenty of X items left, so...yeah.  We're doing this.

Through the sheer power of Hyper Potions and Toxic, the battle was over.  The Rattatas did have Super Fang, which was a little troublesome, but it was fairly straightforward because of Toxic stall.  So what do we get for our reward?  A Trial Guide Cap and Trial Guide Tee.  Yes, that is it.  That's all we get.  Now I'm glad I used Toxic stall.  Screw this trial.  But...we did technically fight and beat a Totem, so...break out the MVP Spotlight to show off those new items we got!


The Trial Guide stuff is by no means spectacular, and we'll be getting some cooler clothes soon in this very episode.  So, with that, not counting the fact I didn't battle Hala yet and catching Tapu Koko and Lunala are things I'm not doing because nuzlocke, Tutorial Island is done.  Now we never have to come back here, ever.  And I swear, if someone begs me to buy the Luran Tank for the memes, I will refuse.  Now, how about we move onto Akala Island?


Welcome back to Akala Island, folks, the place where several of my team members met their untimely demises.  If my memory is correct, and it sometimes is, there's not too many things to cover here, and I promise not to go on a tangent about Larvesta having a 1% encounter rate in one area in the entire game.  If you bothered to get the high scores on all the Mantine Surfing spots, you can head on over to The Surf Association in Heahea City to get your Surf Pikachu.  By mere chance and possibly for the sake of a meme, I somehow managed to get the high score on all the spots.  Maybe it was when I was BP grinding to get those Leftovers for Shadow.  Heck if I remember, because that Mantine Surf grinding was one of the most boring things I've done in my entire life, only being topped by waiting for hours to take my dogs to the vet while having nothing at all to do for those several hours.

Anyway, I may as well take it.  It's a static encounter, and it's a sign that this is still a nuzlocke even if we've done so few nuzlockey things so far in this episode.  As for the nickname, I went with a good old classic from the anime.  Ok, that's also a lie because while I originally planned to name it Puka after the Pikachu from the surfing episode, I found out that there's just enough characters to name this Pikachu Humungadunga, so I did it, and I had a good laugh when I found out I could.  It was a good time.  A shame that we'll probably never use him because Spark Plug is my go to Electric type, even if he's marked for death.  Also, Adamant nature.  He sucks, so he'll be permaboxed.

Next up on our list is...the building right next door.  On the second floor of this place is the Game Freak room, which I'm pretty sure is also in other games.  If you're masochistic enough, you can try completing the Alola Pokedex to get the Shiny Charm, and when you do complete it, you also get another outfit.  A Karate Gi for males and a Nurse Joy outfit for females.  Before I say that I can't show you this on my own file because I haven't even finished the Alola Dex on my Ultra Sun, let's talk about how bad completing this dex is.  The problem with this region's dex is a mix of low encounter rates on annoying things, the SOS system just in general being a pain to work around because low chances of getting SOS only mons, and the worst one is they threw in a lot of things that evolve late, mostly from Unova.  So, have fun scouring Alola for that variety pack of 1% encounter rates.  It's not good in the slightest.  Let's move on.  Talking about this nightmare of a Pokedex bothers me.

Heading back to Route 8, we can meet up with the fabulously fabulous man of a man, Colress, who asks if we know about Genesect.  Well, of course not because Genesect is an event only Pokemon and we in the US never got the shiny Extremespeed Genesect because of course not.  Anyway, we're just gonna lie and say we do know, and he'll give us the drives to change the type of Genesect's Techno Blast.  He also informs us about a place called the Battle Tree, but we'll be talking about that later.  Anyway, we're done with Akala Island, so it's time to spread our wings and move to Ula'ula Island, even though there isn't much to do there either.


There's actually a lot less to do here than I thought.  Before we do that, though, I just realized there was a place I never mentioned that was added in Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon, and that is the Kantonian Gym in Malie City.  It's a gym based off of Lt. Surge's gym, also known as one of the worst gym puzzles in the series (unless it's Gen 2 where there is no puzzle and you just waltz over and battle Surge).  Luckily, there's no puzzle here.  You gotta pay to get in, though.  It's not that expensive, and be warned, in postgame, every trainer will have Pokemon in the high 50s.  There is also a chance you'll encounter this weird guy in red who uses Dragon types, so he's a thing.  He was in vanilla Sun and Moon, but he was only just there as a Champion Title Defense battle and nothing else.  Anyway, let's move on to the only other relevant thing on this island.

Ok, once again, I lied, because there's an area I want to mention before we do the last thing on Ula'ula Island.  To the right near the end of Ula'ula Meadow is an alter, and this alter will be the opposite one of whatever alter is at the end of Vast Poni Canyon.  In my case, it's the Alter of the Sunne.  This area is relevant, but we can't do anything with it yet.  Keep it in your hat for now.  It's time we paid one final visit to Po Town.  Even with Team Skull disbanded, there's something we can pick up there.

Our visit in the "rainy all the time" Po Town takes us to the local Pokemon Center, where the Team Skull grunts still are for some reason.  After a very...conversational conversation and a chump change of 10,000 Poke Dollars, you will be the proud owner of a Skull Tank, and in Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon only, you get a Skull Cap for free as well.  After that, the Team Skull guys and the Spinda leave.  I mean, I guess it's fine.  All I wanted was the Skull Tank and Cap.  So, before we move onto the meat of today's episode, get the picture ready!


To be honest, I really like the Skull Tank in combination with the black skirt and striped knee high socks.  The Skull Cap is a little...eh, but it was free and easily replaceable with the Vacation Hat.  Funny how much I praise the default hat in this game when the option of not wearing a hat actually became a thing in this generation.  Also, I used Mother for this picture because there aren't any trials left, so she won't get an MVP Spotlight.  Poor, poor Mother.  Anyway, let's move onto the meat of today's episode, and that is Poni Island.

Hoo boy, Poni Island.  With a chunk of it blocked off completely until postgame and mostly being the plot hotspot, now is the time for us to explore it to our leisure...outside of Vast Poni Canyon because that place can go screw itself.  Anyway, starting off with Seafolk Village, there is one thing for us in the Pokemon Center.  Near the sitting policeman on the left side, there's a sightseer who will battle you when you talk to him.  All he has is an Exeggcute, but not just any old Exeggcute, but a shiny Exeggcute.  Yes, a regular trainer with a shiny.  Doesn't change the fact I had Shadow blow it up with two Paybacks.  He can't give us the shiny, but we get a Nugget for winning against him.  Not just one Nugget, but six of them.  That is totally fine with me.  With that, it's time to move on.

So remember earlier when I said I wasn't going to catch Lunala because it's a legendary?  Well, that means I can't do something at the Altar of the Moone.  In order to do this next thing, Solgaleo or Lunala is required for it.  Because I myself can't do this, we shall just talk about it using my best resource, Serebii.  So, after the Necrozma fiasco, or in vanilla Sun and Moon, after you get Lusamine from Ultra Space and catch your cover legendary, an Ultra Wormhole will still be at the altar.  Now, since we're playing Ultra Moon, that wormhole will always be there so we can go to Ultra Megalopolis or go delving into the wormhole for legendary hunting.

Anyway, this system also has a specific time based gimmick.  If you have Solgaleo, you can only access this thing at night, and during the day with Lunala.  With this restriction covered, you can go to alternate world where the times are flipped.  As we know, Sun and Moon have a 12 hour time difference.  Sun follows your 3DS's internal clock to the letter, so if it's the early afternoon, it'll be daytime in Sun, but nighttime in Moon.  In the alternate world, these times are flipped.  Along with that, your respective altar will also be swapped, so the Altar of the Moone will become the Alter of the Sunne and you get what I mean.

Now, you're probably wondering "why are you wasting so much time with this pointless banter?"  Well, my good friend, allow me to jump straight to the point with a question.  What if you could have a second Solgaleo or Lunala?  This alternate world has a Cosmog that you can go and get if you have your cover legendary in your party and head over to the area located within Ula'ula Meadow.  For Sun, it's normally the Lake of the Moone, but of course, this is an alternate world we're talking about, so it's not the same area anymore.  In a sense it is, but you know what I mean.  If you're into getting another legendary, then there you go.  You can also save beforehand and soft reset to change it's nature.  Ok, lengthy ramble over.  Let's start off with new areas, starting with where those Ultra Beasts were running around, because we can get an encounter over there.  Let's get started, shall we?

You know, I was going to say something really pessimistic because I was expecting a bad encounter, but I found a Heracross, which is actually amazing because it has a 10% encounter rate.  How do I know that?  Well, at the time of writing this, I'm undergoing the masochistic task of completing the Alola Dex...unless Marshadow is mandatory to complete it, in which case I will go on a rant about how dumb this dex is.  Heracross was a Poni Island Pokemon I was missing for my dex.  But enough about my Pokedex completion woes, let's talk strategy.  Because I didn't want Shadow to get obliterated, I sent in Blue Shrimp to tank the Close Combat.  Lucky for me, Heracross resists Dark, so Crunch got it to half health, and after that, it was the "throw balls and it and pray it catches" game.  I mean, I still caught it, but it sure put up a fight.

So it's a male Heracross.  I think I'm gonna name him The Horn...and mother of Arceus, he's actually really good.  Jolly nature for more Speed with Guts so status conditions just make him hit harder.  If my team wasn't full, I'd honestly consider putting him in.  For now, he'll have to be boxed, and we'll be on our way deeper into the parts of Poni Island previously blocked off to us.  There are also trainers about, so be careful.

Next up on our Poni Island exploration list is Poni Plains.  If you've been worried about levels for the Rainbow Rocket encounters, look no further than here.  Let's be real here, in vanilla Sun and Moon, there is no simple, very easy way to grind in postgame.  In this area, it is possible to encounter Chansey, who is an actual experience goldmine.  But while we're here, we can still score ourselves an encounter, so let's hit up the grass for something...like a Gumshoos, but I have a Yungoos, so this is dupes.  The second try got me a Tauros, which I don't have, and it could be...somewhat useful.  Quick Ball technology is on my side, though, so catching it was a snap.  As for a nickname, I named him Cain, because the character Cain from Fire Emblem: Shadow Dragon is known as The Bull, and Tauros is a bull...so yeah.  Pretty creative, am I right?

What is going on in this episode?  Sure, Cain has Anger Point instead of Intimidate, but he's Adamant nature.  Why are these mons getting good natures all of a sudden?  I could've used these when my team was getting slaughtered back at the Fire trial.  Sadly, once again, my team is full and Styles has proven himself as more than cannon fodder, so Cain will also be hitting the box.  So with that covered, we have options on where to go.  But first, if you explore a bit and head to a cave in the northwest, you can find yourself the Kommonium Z, so if you want Nintendo to copyright claim your videos for using Kommo-o's Z-Move, then you got your source right here.

Anyway, we have two paths we can take.  We can go to Poni Coast or head on over to Poni Meadow.  Between the two, going to Poni Meadow may be potentially dangerous for a certain reason, so we're doing that first.  As you approach the meadow, Dexio and Sina will show up and then you'll be forced to battle.  Dexio has five team members, and I believe they're all Psychic types.  Do not take him lightly, though, because we're getting to that.  For that reason, I am, naturally, abusing X Items again.

So he leads with an Espeon, perfect X Item spamming fodder for Shadow to abuse.  I used X Sp. Defs to make sure none of it's attacks hurt that much, and just in case of any random Focus Blasts.  With some Paybacks, the Espeon went down, only for this man to send in a Metagross next...with Brick Break.  Confuse Ray is a useful tool even if it hardly helps, so it was time to throw on some X Defends, because if Shadow dies, we're kind of screwed.  Of course, the bots never hurt themselves in confusion because Pokemon, so you know how it is.

Ok, scratch what I said earlier.  The Metagross hurt itself one time.  Once, out of eight or so Brick Breaks.  After three eternities, Shadow managed to kill the Metagross, only for an Alolan Raichu to come next, which means Focus Blast that won't miss...or Reflect and Thunderbolt?  Where was the Focus Blast?  Does it even have Focus Blast?  Let's find out through our reliable source, Serebii.


Wow.  This Raichu sucks.  Anyway, next up is a Slowking, who also have next to no real options for Shadow, and I can Toxic stall it while I prepare for Dexio's ace because I need the Payback PP.  It has Own Tempo, so no confusion.  Doesn't matter, anyway.  He also does no damage because Shadow is so bulked up on X items.  On the other hand, Shadow doesn't hit for much damage anyway, so before the Slowking died of poison, I threw on an X Attack just to speed up the last Pokemon's death a bit.  Well, that and for safety reasons.  Why?  Because it's an Alakazam.  Not just any Alakazam, though.  This is a Mega Alakazam with Focus Blast, and Mega Alakazam hits like a truck.  Without those X Sp. Defs, I can bet that a Focus Blast would even kill Shadow.  Yes, I'm serious.  There's a chance it could kill my bulkiest team member if I didn't use X items.  A shame that Alakazam's defense still sucks, even when mega.  Oh, and it also didn't miss because of course not.

So for surviving that battle, we obtain the Key Stone along with Alakazam's Mega Stone, the Alakazite.  Here's the thing.  I never banned myself from using megas, and it's incredibly frowned upon to use them, so here's how we'll do it.  If I force myself to grind more Mantine Surfing to get one, and only one, Mega Stone, I can only use it against other megas or legendaries.  Why am I specifically pointing out legendaries?  Well, you'll see.  That's a topic we'll be going on about in detail later.  Anyway, we have a meadow to explore, so let's do just that, because there's another area inside Poni Meadow we can also explore for an encounter.

Mememele, and Ula'ula had meadows we could explore and find Oricorios.  Akala didn't have a meadow, but there was an Oricorio form there.  It stands to reason that here in Poni Meadow, you can run into Oricorio, but it's been locked behind postgame until now, even though it's type kinda sucks.  Anyway, as for the encounter of Poni Meadow, well, I found an Oricorio, but I already have Dance Fever, so it's dupes.  I ended up finding a Floette, which would evolve into the specially bulky Florges with a stone I probably don't have.  On it's own, it's very bad for postgame, and the special AZ's Floette will probably never, ever be released, ever.  Also, Quick Ball technology.  I named it Flowers because reference to Kalos.

Welp, it was going to happen sooner or later.  The bad natures strike again.  Boxed.  End of discussion.  Now, there's another Probopass in this place, but at least this one didn't randomly yell at me like Olivia's rude Probopass.  She needs to teach that thing some manners.  Rude Probopasses aside, with a bit of exploration, we found the Overheat TM and a cave.  This is Resolution Cave, the place they shoved Zygarde because hunting Zygarde Cells and Totem Stickers would just be too boring.  We can also get an encounter here.  I want to explore this place because the TM for Earthquake is here, but let's talk encounters first.

This place should honestly be called Golbat Cave, because that's almost entirely what I ran into until I finally reached the floor where Zygarde is and encountered a Druddigon.  Blue Shrimp nearly got killed by a crit Rock Climb, but we lucked out and he lived on 4 HP.  Quick Ball technology failed me, so we went with a classic, the Ultra Ball.  As for a nickname...I got nothing this time.  I guess I'll name her Dweller.  Gentle nature is a little bleh, but I'll go with it.  It's not like I'll use her or anything, so to the box with her.  Since Zygarde is a legendary, I won't be catching it, but if you do, you can go to, I believe Route 16, to see Dexio and Sina in order to change Zygarde's form.  It is also required to complete the Alola Pokedex, so...yeah.  Anyway, I'm gonna head out, heal my team, and then we'll take the path we didn't go down.

So, on my way towards where we're going, I encountered a trainer who is required to get by.  I dealt with his Skarmory no problem, and thought The Third could handle his Electivire, but it had Fire Punch and instakilled The Third.  I knew he had bad Defense, but I didn't think he'd die that easily.  Such a cruel fate for a survivor of the Elite Four.  I had to send in Mother to teach these bullies a lesson in pain.  On a related note, this guy's Araquanid has also gotten four Defense drops in a row with Liquidation when it only has a 20% chance.  This was the cursed battle.  It was bound to happen sooner or later.  This Araquanid alone almost killed half my team because of hax and Lunge doing boatloads of damage.  Thanks to Mother and Styles, there were no other deaths.  But now I have to go heal again and put The Third in the death box.

A survivor of the Elite Four...killed by an Electivire that outsped him.  That is an awful shame.  Sure, I knew that The Third was fragile, but he was a fighter.  He was an MVP, and proved his worth in the squad.  Rest in peace, buddy.  You served us well.

So...now what?  The Third was probably my best Ground type and I don't want to go diving into uncharted territory with five team members.  I think his time has come, ladies and gentlemen.  The Horn will be joining the team, and I will train him up along with everyone else when we prepare for Rainbow Rocket.  He'll just kinda be in the party for now.

Ok, so after that awful experience, let's move on, but standing in our way are a couple of unfamilar people who, to be honest, have zero purpose even being here.  Well, Looker is here, and he was irrelevant in this game, so now we meet a character who's entire role for existing got shafted when Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire didn't bring back the Battle Frontier, so now she just kinda exists, and she's part of the International Police, but honestly, who cares?  She has no real reason to exist anymore because Nintendo refuses to bring back the Battle Frontier, but...oh right, sorry.  I can't talk about that yet.  We'll be getting to that shortly.

(On a side note, Looker gave me a Red Card.)

Next up is Poni Coast, which has...Flying types to encounter and I believe the Thunderbolt TM is here too.  On a related note, the death toll this episode has now risen to two.  I found a double battle after picking up the Dark Pulse TM, and it was against two Exeggutors, one regular and one Alolan.  I switched Master Derp out for ultra overleveled Mother, not remembering her Special Defense sucks.  Both of them targeted her, and the second Leaf Storm was a critical hit because of course it was.  This game hates me, probably because I call it bad, and it is bad, but this is just getting stupid.  Where were all of these deaths back at Episode 14?!  Is this the salt episode or something?!  Like, seriously, I am so mad right now, I've avoided the urge to type in various amounts of bad language to keep a mildly PG-13 nuzlocke going on here.

The Horn instakilled the Alolan Exeggutor while Blue Shrimp finished off the Kantonian one.  End of story.  I'm too salty right now to make a decent summary of the battle.  Let's go put Mother in the box.

At this point, these deaths are just getting out of hand.  Crit Leaf Storm, being outsped by an Electivire.  What's next, Selfdestruct killing Styles?  Destiny Bond Gengar killing Shadow?  Scenarios like this is why I took an entended hiatus from touching this game after Episode 14, and why I was hesitant about touching postgame.  It looks like I was right to avoid postgame, but we're too deep in the soup now to go back.  I have to finish now.  I owe it to you, the readers, no matter how much more this game pisses me off, to finish this trainwreck of a game.  I apologize for my saltiness, but a game can only push someone so far with it's BS before you just get sick and tired of it and want to give up.  I'm not going to give up, though.  I said in the disclaimer that I'll do my Rubesty, and we're going to do it!  But first, now I need a replacement for Mother.

Thinking it over, I've opted to take The Bully, my Granbull.  She's not a Fire type, which was the best thing Mother brought to the table, but she'll have to do for now, and I'll grind her up before we start Rainbow Rocket stuff.  Let's finish our exploration since we never got an encounter yet.

Trying to avoid being caught in another double battle, I chose to come back for my Poni Coast encounter later and moved onto Poni Gauntlet, which is not an inviting name at all.  As you would expect, this is a battle heavy area, but it is on the way to the Battle Tree.  Of course, there's also grass to encounter things in, so we can score an encounter here.  I found myself a Lickitung, and if it has the right move, it can be evolved right away.  Let's hope it's nature is good, though, because I could put it on the team right away.  As for a name, let's go with The Tongue.  I don't even know anymore.

Neutral nature, but I'll have to Heart Scale on Rollout if I want to evolve her.  I guess I'll use her.  She's a decent enough level and I can always throw some TMs on her so she can be a bit viable until I evolve her.  Her low Speed will be an issue, though.

After surviving the dreaded gauntlet of trainers, including the last one, which is easily the worst because of Flame Body Magmorter getting the burn every possible chance it could with it's ability, we made it.  This is the Battle Tree.  We're not done with the fun, yet, though.  If we approach the area, we meet people who know us, but we don't know them.  This is Red and Blue, and you have to battle one of them.  Yes, you get no choice in the matter outside of which one you face.  I chose Red, but he has a team of six, leading with a Pikachu that is Lv. 74.  Of course, I get Static'd turn 1 after using Headbutt because this game needs to give me the middle finger some more.

Styles managed to take the Volt Tackle from an overleveled Pikachu and finished it off with another Headbutt.  Next up is Charizard, which is Level 70.  What the hell is this?!  Of course, with Air Slash, I get hax'd to death, so rip Blue Shrimp.  After that, I stopped caring completely.  I will abuse X items to win this unfair battle against overleveled mons.  Meanwhile, Red will never miss Focus Blast because of course not.  Ok, he missed one, but he also hax'd my Gyarados to death, so this game can still go screw itself for suddenly forcing Level 70s on you.  This area is unlocked and you don't have to do Rainbow Rocket to unlock it, so this is purely a fault on the game designers, so if they want to pull this BS freely like this, I'll use megas and X items and not care anymore about fairness, because the game sure doesn't care about fairness.

So after hardcore setup and heal spamming, the Charizard is finally dead.  We're not even close to done yet, though, because next is a Venusaur.  Leech Seed is a major annoyance, especially since the bots will never, ever hurt themselves in confusion, leading to even more heal spamming because of course.  After healing the burn, dealing with Venusaur became easier.  Next up, though, is a Lapras that is not Level 70, but Level 69.  Even at +6, Shadow doesn't even do half to this Lapras.  Surprisingly, it missed two Blizzards, but still died because Toxic is Shadow's best move without question.  Next up, Blastoise, another Level 70 Kanto starter that will take several turns to kill.

With Blastoise, I used the same strategy I used on the Lapras.  Stall it with Toxic with Payback uses to stack on damage.  Finally, we reach the end, his Snorlax.  It probably has Immunity because of course, so I didn't bother with Toxic.  I took my chances with Confuse Ray, but naturally, it does nothing because this is Gen 7.  It also snapped out after one turn because of course.  So, meanwhile, after getting paralyzed by Body Slam, I proceeded to get hax'd even more.  Isn't this game just great?  Allow me to show you an accurate image of how I feel right now.


Yup, this is fine.  Totally not dying inside or anything.  Nope, everything is just peachy.  Anyway, I ran out of PP for Payback, so I had to use a Roto PP Restore, making this already drawn out fight take even longer.  Thanks to a Dire Hit and two crits, this nightmare is over, and all it cost me is most of my sanity and my Gyarados.  Then again, I played all of Sonic '06 and did a 100% playthrough of Super Mario Sunshine in a single stream.  My sanity died a long time ago.

So you want to know what you get for that trainwreck?  Nothing.  Actually nothing.  You have access to the Battle Tree, but even that feels like a middle finger.  I need to unleash my rage, so allow me to do so by going on a lengthy, rage filled rant about the Battle Tree and why it's the biggest piece of trash this game has to offer.

Ever since Pokemon Crystal, there's been a building known as the Battle Tower.  Simple, straightforward, stuff and things.  Gen 3 also had it...well, at least until Emerald mixed it up with the creation of the Battle Frontier.  Sure, the Battle Frontier still had the Battle Tower, but at least there were other fun facilities to play.  Gen 4, or more specifically, Platinum, Heartgold, and Soulsilver, also had a Battle Frontier.  Gen 5 didn't have one at all and Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire should've had one, but they shafted us hard and gave us a Battle Tower clone.

"But this doesn't explain at all why you hate the Battle Tree so much" is what you're probably wondering.  The short version is that, like Mantine Surfing, the Battle Tree is very samey and the opponents love, love, love to hax you to oblivion.  It is a nightmare trying to grind Battle Tree, not to mention very boring.  Mantine Surfing sucks too, and it's boring too, because it's very samey.

Also, rage.


Why is it that either Elite Four survivors or an overleveled team member died today?  I was planning on calling this episode Ultra Postgame, but after all of this, I'm officially changing the title to Ultra Disaster, because that is exactly what our Poni Island exploration turned into.  Now, once again, I apologize for my extreme saltiness, but once again, the sheer amount of BS this episode pushed me over the line.  I'll be grinding up a team to about Level 70 and getting a Mega Stone.  Our postgame misadventure isn't over yet, boys and girls, because there's one final place to go.

We have to pay a visit to Aether Paradise, so next time, that's what we'll be doing.  For those who stuck around even after I started getting salty, thanks for sticking with the run even when I'm not at my best.  Next episode, let's take our frustration out on the best part of these games, the Rainbow Rocket Episode.

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    • ArdillaVerde93
      By ArdillaVerde93
      Dear Diary,

      We got up early this morning. Immediately, I headed out into the field. East of Violet City, Route 31 is called home by a Pokémon that only comes out early in the morning. Ledyba. And I wanted to catch one. It took some hunting, but we managed to track one down. Diane the Ledyba, named for her evolved form, joined the team. Don't worry; I don't intend to make my Pokémon work so early on a constant basis. This was a rare occurrance. With a team of Pokémon mostly weak against Flying types, however, we needed to get some serious training in. Just our luck; Violet City's Gym Leader specialises in Flying types. After asking around, it turns out the nearby Sprout Tower welcomes trainers.

        It wasn't hard to find the Sprout Tower. After all, it's, well, a tower. It's not called the Sprout Cave. Hehe. I wouldn't have thought by looking at the tower from the outside that Pokémon battles were conducted there. It honestly looks more like a spot for prayer or meditation. But I could hear the sounds of battling faintly through the ceiling from the moment I walked in. I'm not gonna lie to you; I'm afraid of heights. It's not a crippling fear - that, for me, is lightning - but it was enough to make me hesitant as I climbed up to the second floor.

        I was wrong in thinking Sprout Tower is a place of meditation. But it seems to be a place of enlightenment. The trainers there are monks, and, as I got closer, I could see them training with their Pokémon. Moving fluidly around Vine Whips and the like from the Bellsprout they all appear to be using. I must've caught the attention of one of them, because he bowed and readied a Pokéball. Predictably, from a flash of light came a Bellsprout. So it was for all of the monks training in the tower; they all wielded Bellsprout of varying strengths. And they were all taken down by Julia. My initial thought was that, for the upcoming Gym battle, it'd be best to have a Pokémon that can fly. Butterfree.

        After some hard-fought battles, Julia suddenly tilted her head up and spat out a torrent of thread. This is how they evolve. Knowing this, I was glad that her second evolution wouldn't be far behind. The gooey thread covered her fully, leaving a tangled mass. Bit by bit, the mass hardened and took on a green shine. At the end, Julia had evolved from Caterpie into a Metapod!

        We were all tired by that point, so we rested at the Pokémon Centre before continuing our training. It occurred to me that perhaps Angelica wasn't getting much attention. I'll have to do something special for her after we get the Zephyr Badge. Yes, after. Not if. We're gonna win! As long as we're prepared, we can defeat anybody; that's what I believe. And that means training. If we're gonna be up against Flying types, we'll need to hone our skills enough to fight through the type disadvantage. And, for now, that means we need to go back to Sprout Tower.

        The emergence of a Butterfree is a beautiful thing. I highly recommend the experience be seen by anybody and everybody who has the chance. It's quite easy to see; the metamorphosis of a Caterpie takes place rather quickly. You probably already know, but an area of the Kanto region, near Saffron City, has a yearly celebration in which scores of Butterfree are released to find mates. I'd love to see it in person someday. They say it's impossible to witness without crying. I don't wanna try to watch it without crying; I just wanna be there. Someday, I'll save up enough money to go see it. But, for now, Julia underwent her final transformation recently. After some more felled Bellsprout, she shook as a crack bloomed on her hard emerald-green shell. Little by little, she cast off her shell until she was fully revealed. Light streaming in through the windows set her new pearl-white wings glimmering in a beautiful light show. She stretched out these new appendages and finally took to the sky with a cute trill. Julia had reached her final form.

        With Julia being a Butterfree now, the rest of our training in Sprout Tower went by quickly. It seemed nothing could stand up to her. Until the building shook. I heard a loud bang and instinctively ducked, thinking perhaps an explosive had been set off. But there was no screaming. There were no alarms. I looked up. The head monk was engaged in a Pokémon battle. I thought it was his Pokémon that caused the noise, but they were sprawled out on the floor. His opponent laughed in a cold tone of voice I recognised right away. The Cyndaquil trainer! No wonder. He's lucky he didn't start a fire! I ran to the scene just in time for him to escape. No way was I going after him; I don't harbour a death wish for myself or my Pokémon.

        The head monk offered me a battle, just the same as he had, I assume, offered one to that mystery trainer. He would have to get his Pokémon healed first, of course, but I was willing to wait. In exchange, I helped him with patching his Pokémon up. How they managed it, I have no idea, but they managed to avoid any serious injuries. Our battle began soon. Julia made quick work of yet another Bellsprout. But the Hoothoot that came next gave us some problems. It, too, was dispatched. But the troubles it caused us made me realise something. I couldn't expect Julia to go it alone when it comes to our upcoming gym battle. She would need backup. And, at the moment, the only member of my team who isn't weak against Flying types is Brittany.

        Brittany's training went well, though we hit a speed bump along the way. I heard that there was a young lady on Route 29 who gave out scarves. I thought there'd be no harm in checking it out. Plus, the extra experience from trainers on the way would be worth the trek. So, we set off. Unfortunately, we went all the way to Route 29 only to realise that she only shows herself to trainers with a Zephyr Badge. Damn. Well, you know what they say. Nothing worth having comes easy. On the way back, we tackled - both figuratively and literally - several more wild Pokémon. I think it's finally time for Violet City Gym.

        I'm slightly acrophobic, like I said. I mostly got over it by virtue of my profession. As a doctor, and an emergency physician at that, I would, at times, need to travel by air to the scene of a disaster. But a bit of the fear stuck with me. And the Gym didn't help, to say the least. To accomodate the myriad of winged Pokémon being trained there, the building is of enormous size. It's practically a skyscraper! I had to take an elevator to the top. I still remember looking down and feeling a little sick. This was it. The first Gym.

        The first trainer must've noticed my trepidation; he laughed before the match. But, thanks to Brittany, he wasn't laughing for very long. Being high up, I had a fear that I know is irrational. In fact, I knew it was irrational then. But I worried Brittany would land on a weak floorboard after an attack and fall. She moves so lightly across the battlefield, though. The second trainer was fought with my fears mostly alleviated. As such, I was able to focus better when giving attack commands. He and his winged beasts fell the same as their predecessors. Then came Falkner.

        Greetings were formal; like that mystery trainer, Falkner has a tone of voice that's quickly recognisable. He spoke elegantly, almost regally. But I can speak from experience now in saying that he fights with brutality. From the moment I saw his first Pokémon, I knew he was fighting seriously. A well-trained Pidgey spread its wings and stared Brittany down. At a glance, I could tell this Pidgey has seen maybe dozens of fights. I could also tell, from looking at Brittany, that she was determined to make this encounter difficult for it. No backing down now. It was time to fight.

        Brittany and this Pidgey traded blows for some time, and, to my delight, Pidgey was wearing out. I just had to keep an eye on Brittany to make sure she didn't take any big hits. Finally, Brittany connected with a crushing blow. I was surprised with the power that came from her petite body. Pidgey crashed to the floor, defeated, and I felt happy. Julia was waiting as backup, but, the way Brittany was going, I decided to keep her in for Falkner's second Pokémon. A Pidgeotto, this specimen had an intimidating aura that made even Brittany cringe. I gave a command, and Brittany lunged. She made contact, but Pidgeotto barely reacted. Clearly, this would be a challenge in and of itself.

        Hit after hit, they fought. A Quick Attack was answered by a Gust again and again. Brittany's speed had Pidgeotto confounded, for sure. But a Sentret versus a Pidgeotto? I had my doubts. Until I saw somethjng I'm glad I was around to see. Pidgeotto had Brittany cornered in the rafters. I was ready for Brittany to take a fall. Instead, she took a leap. A leap onto Pidgeotto's back. It all happened so fast. Pidgeotto flew around wildly, but Brittany held firm. Finally, in its thrashing, the mighty bird crashed into the floor trying to shake Brittany off. Falkner was aghast, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel similarly. Then, in a ruffle of feathers, Pidgeotto rose again. It wasn't over. But it was about to be. I ordered a Quick Attack. Brittany leapt again, but came down hard this time. Pidgeotto squawked in pain, then fell once more. We did it! We won!
      #11: Metapod, the Cocoon Pokémon
      Along with its toxic counterpart in Kakuna, Metapod sometimes drop from trees in forests during periods of heavy wind. Take care travelling through these forests. Upon its final evolution, Metapod splits open, and the empty shell is discarded.
      #12: Butterfree, the Butterfly Pokémon
      Albeit exceedingly rare, pink Butterfree are known to exist. It was thought that they hail from the Orange Archipelago, but further research is required. Rubbing the wing of a Butterfree will leave your hand covered in a prismatic silver powder. This powder is non-toxic, and waterproof.
      #165: Ledyba, the Five Star Pokémon
      These Pokémon produce an aromatic fluid that is used to mark their territory, as well as for communication and courtship purposes. Diluted and mixed, it makes a fine perfume, sold in especially large quantities in Johto.
      *Author's note*
      Sorry this installment took so long. As you well know, I had a family emergency to attend to. But enough about that. In this entry, we learn that Brittany is a savage(she actually did sweep Falkner; I didn't make that up.)! Seriously, that... whatever Sentret is based on... I wanna say raccoon... is not to be fucked with. We also get to see Julia evolve! They grow up so fast, huh? Hopefully, Angelica is next. Or will newly-acquired Diane beat her to the Comet Punch? Find out next time! If you WANT a next time, that is.~ Oh, and let's not forget our shiny new Zephyr Badge! Now that things are calming down, I'd like to write more. Only if you want it, though! ^_^
    • ArdillaVerde93
      By ArdillaVerde93
      *Dear Diary: A Pokémon Crystal Custom Nuzlocke Experience*

      *For this Nuzlocke, I decided to put my own twist on it. I have changed only 2 things. I am allowed to choose 1 Pokémon per route, etc, to catch. Fail to capture it, and I must not attempt to capture any non-shiny or non-Legendary there. I'm allowing myself to reset for genders, etc.*

      *This copy of Pokémon Crystal is a North American version, downloaded from the Nintendo eShop and played on an original model 3DS console. A duplication glitch will be used for one-off Pokémon, but this will not effect gameplay. Clones will remain boxed until the Elite 4 are defeated.*

      Dear Diary,

      My name is Tyler. Tyler Miller. Formerly Dr. Miller, but let's not talk about that. In an effort to find inspiration, as well as knowledge, I have left Goldenrod City for New Bark Town. The Johto region is beautiful, and I want to explore it. Through this diary, I'll chronicle my journey through Johto with the Pokémon I will call my friends. This is our story.

        Arriving in New Bark Town in the morning, Professor Elm put me to work immediately. A friend of his had called on him to help with a discovery. But, being busy with research, he couldn't go himself. So he sent me over in his stead. In exchange, he gave me a choice of my first partner for this adventure. Ever since I treated a very sick Chikorita, I've wanted a Chikorita of my own. My choice was obvious. Being that my Chikorita is female, I named her Angelica, after a type of flower called an Angel's Trumpet. I'll likely see some on my journey, but I'll have to be careful around them; they're poisonous.

        Of course, Angelica and I had to fight off wild Pokémon on our way. Our destination was a house north of Cherrygrove City. A bit of a walk, but nothing compared to the trek I'll be taking later. I almost feel jealous of little Angelica; she gets to ride along in her Poké Ball. Anyway, we stopped for a bite to eat before continuing on. Route 30 was more of the same; dealing with attacks from wild Pokémon. The only difference is that the Sentret and Rattata of Route 29 were replaced with Caterpie, and a Weedle or 2. But we made it.

        The man Elm sent me to see wouldn't tell me his name; only that he was known as Mr. Pokémon. Fair enough. The discovery he made was a Pokémon egg. Apparently, it had appeared at the Day Care Centre near Goldenrod City, secluded from any couples who may have produced it. I was shocked not only by that, but by the fact that this "Mr. Pokémon" had company! Professor Oak, from Pallet Town in Kanto, was looking into the egg too, but, pardon the pun, he just couldn't crack it. With neither of them able to solve this mystery, I was given the egg to take to Professor Elm. And, from Professor Oak, I got a Pokédex! I'll have to remember to check it on a regular basis. So, I left Mr. Pokémon's house. And that's when shit hit the fan.

        I had only just set foot outside when my PokéGear went off. Probably Professor Elm, wondering where Angelica and I were. Or so I thought. I was half right; it was Elm. But he was understandably not too concerned with us. The lab in New Bark Town was... Well, Elm wouldn't say what happened. But he wanted us back ASAP, so we started our return trip. On our way back, we were stopped by a trainer. An angry young man, tone of voice bitter as unsweetened tea. His hair, were it any colour but blood red, I'd be envious of. I don't much like redheads. Anyway, this kid challenged us out of the blue. Thankfully, he wielded just a low-level Cyndaquil; Angelica and I subdued him. He predictably spat insults at us, then ran off. I thought he was a real dick, frankly. Turns out, I didn't know the half of it.

        We returned to the lab, only to find it in disarray. Somebody had broken in while I was running my errand! In fact, an officer was there, questioning the professor. Apparently, nobody was hurt, and nothing was damaged. But a Pokémon was taken. A Cyndaquil. I had just battled a Cyndaquil user! I offered that information to the officer, but I couldn't for the life of me remember the trainer's name! I remembered his appearance, though, which was helpful. After the officer left, I completed my errand and gave Elm the mysterious egg. In the midst of thanking me, he noticed my Pokédex. I guess he reasoned that, if Professor Oak could trust me, so could he, because he gave me a suggestion. The suggestion to tun this journey into a mission. A mission to collect the badges from Johto's Pokémon Gyms. Well, I wasn't planning on it, but I guess I should at least try it, if Professor Elm believes in me. I accepted. To get me started, he had one of his aides give me a set of Pokéballs. Happily taking them, I walked out the door. My journey was beginning.

        Going back through Route 29, I was glad I packed sunscreen for my trip. Angelica didn't need to protect herself from the sunlight; she uses it for energy. But I'll have to remember to pick up some aloe gel or lotion. Grass types like that stuff, and it'll help keep her coat shiny, and her head leaf healthy. But I can't complete this challenge with her alone. In short order, I found and captured a Sentret, who I named Brittany. I dunno why I chose that name; it just sounded right. After a small bit of training, we set out north of Cherrygrove, to Route 30. There, we found another new team member. A Caterpie. Knowing that Caterpie evolves into Butterfree, I named her Julia, after Julia Child, a famous chef known to use lots of butter in her dishes. The trainers along the route were not an issue for us. We tore through them, reaching Violet City just as the sun began to set. We decided to take a break there, and spend the night at the Pokémon Centre. All in all, a good, productive day. I just hope we can keep up this pace.
      #152: Chikorita, the Leaf Pokémon
      Chikorita are loyal companions, and very affectionate towards their owners. During long stretches of inclement weather, these Pokémon may become lethargic, or even ill. When possible, they should be allowed time to lie down in direct sunlight. This keeps them healthy and happy. The leaf on their head is prehensile, and sensitive.
      #161: Sentret, the Scout Pokémon
      Sentret are capable of balancing on their tails to appear taller, as well as to obtain a better vantage point. Their bodies have a membrane that connects the forepaws with the hindpaws, and can stretch slightly. Upon spotting danger, Sentret will release an earsplitting cry to alert other members of their group. They can, however, be trained to curb this.
      #10: Caterpie, the Worm Pokémon
      A common sight in forests, these Pokémon release a harmless, but rotten stench from their antennae when threatened. Trainers who attend school are often told to keep these Pokémon in their Pokéballs. This Pokémon is a wonderful choice for beginners.
      *Author's note*
      This is inspired by the work of @NyxAvatar69. If they do not approve, I will promptly remove this. Pokémon Crystal is probably my favourite of the main series games. I've already completed this challenge in the Virtual Console releases of Gold and Silver. Generation II is by far my favourite Generation of Pokémon. Because this Nuzlocke has different rules to a normal one, I will call this a "Choicelocke." This is because, rather than having to catch the first Pokémon you see in each new area, this challenge allows you to choose one Pokémon in each area to catch. Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoy.~
    • NyxAvatar69
      By NyxAvatar69
      I still hate myself for choosing to do postgame.  Also, like Episode 15, due to the nature of how this and all of Episode 15 are written, I'm posting them here instead of the same place as the other 14 episodes...because yeah.  The run is finished so the remaining episodes will be released over time because I chose to do postgame.  Everything after this is going back to the place I posted the first 14 episodes.
      A day had passed since Ruby aided the Ultra Recon Squad in stopping the rampaging Stakataka in Poni Grove.  Luckily, any news of the incident was kept to a minimum, but it was likely due to the upcoming press conference at the Aether Paradise.  Ever since the Necrozma incident at the Alter of the Moone, Ruby had been hearing people asking questions and wondering what had taken place.  At least to Ruby, it didn't mean much since her duties as Champion had priority.
      Stepping out of her room early in the morning, she noticed her mom standing in front of the boxes that still hasn't unpacked.
      "All right!  I've put it off long enough!  Now that Ruby has become the Champion..." Ruby's mom said, turning around and looking down at her Meowth.
      'Is she actually going to do something about those boxes?' Ruby wondered, deciding to keep quiet for the moment.
      "Meowth!  This is it!  We're really, definitely going to put away these boxes today!" she continued until the doorbell rang.
      "Oh, now who could that be?" she wondered only for someone to come running inside unannounced.
      "Sophocles?  What are you doing here?" Ruby asked, making her way over to the door.
      "Ruby...  I...I...You've got to..." Sophocles tried to say while he caught his breath.
      "What huge, random task likely involving unknown beings from another dimension do I have to do this time?" Ruby asked.
      "What are you talking about?" Sophocles questioned.
      "It's a long story..." Ruby mumbled.
      "Oh, are you one of Ruby's friends?  I'm her mom.  It's so nice to meet you!" Ruby's mom said, getting herself involved in the conversation.  Sophocles jumped when he suddenly heard the voice of Ruby's mom, turning towards her.
      "Eeek!  S-S-S-Sorrocles!  I mean I'm sophorry!  I mean I'm sorry!  No, I mean I'm Sophocles!  I'm a very sorry Sophocles!" Sophocles said.  Ruby couldn't help but laugh a bit at this while Sopholcoes turned away.
      "Sorry...  Let me just calm down a bit..." Sophocles said before turning around to face Ruby again.
      "I...I came because I need your help, Ruby..." Sophocles finally said.
      'Here we go again," Ruby thought.
      "A bunch of strange guys appeared out of nowhere and...and they took over Festival Plaza!" Sophocles explained, but Ruby turned her head as if he had no idea what he was talking about.
      "You mean that weird place you showed me that one time?" Ruby asked.
      "I'll show you what I mean.  Come on!" Sophocles said, grabbing Ruby's arm and taking her outside.  He took out a device with two screens and pressed a few buttons.  In a flash of light, Ruby and Sophocles were gone.  They reappeared in a circular plaza with a number of shops and attractions with a strange red castle in the center with a bunch of Rs in a rainbow background on the monitors.
      "Is that supposed to look like that?" Ruby asked, pointing to the castle.
      "No, it isn't.  The space here suddenly became all twisted and the programming of the Plaza was rewritten!  That's why the castle looks so..."
      "Really weird?" Ruby asked.
      "You think so?  It looks pretty menacing, like where a final boss would live...  I think it looks kinda cool!" Sophocles said while Ruby let out a sigh.
      "Sophocles, this isn't a video game.  Final bosses don't exist in reality," Ruby pointed out.
      "Still, they broke through my impenetrable security system, even if they did take advantage of a system malfunction.  And they've taken complete control of Festival Plaza," Sophocles said.  As Ruby listened to him talk, something occurred to her.  She recalled hearing the voice in her head talk about a "twisted script" and things not sounding like they should, leading her to believe that the voice's sudden disappearance and the takeover of the Festival Plaza may be connected.
      "So, all we have to do is take down the guys behind this operation?" Ruby asked.
      "Yes, but be careful.  These guys know what they're doing," Sophocles replied.
      "When has that ever stopped me?" Ruby said.
      "Then you'll help me take back Festival Plaza?" Sophocles asked.
      "Normally, I would say no because something tells me this place has some problems without the takeover.  But this time, I'll do it," Ruby said.
      Sophocles let out a sigh of relief.  "I'm glad that you're with me, Ruby.  You're the Champion, after all!  W-well...  Let's go then..." Sophocles said, making his way towards the castle.
      'If all this goes well, that voice in my head should come back, and maybe we can figure out why so many people have been wanting to challenge me lately,' Ruby thought, following Sophocles into the castle.  When they got inside, a single man wearing a black suit and a hat was standing in the middle of the room.  Hearing the approaching footsteps, he turned to face Ruby and Sophocles.  Ruby stopped in her tracks when she saw the rainbow R on the front of his shirt.
      'There's no way, right?  That team was beaten by some guy years ago...' Ruby thought until he heard the man speak.
      "Hey, who are you?!  Nobody should be able to enter Team Rocket's Castle!" the man questioned.
      "Team Rocket?!  But that's impossible!  Team Rocket was beaten years ago by someone named Red!  It's old news in Kanto, but people still talk about it!" Ruby said, but as if her words didn't exist, Sophocles went on.
      "I-I have admin rights..." he tried to say until the man stomped his foot on the ground.
      "What?!  How dare you try to confuse me with your nerdy language!" the man shouted before he turned around and took a moment to calm down.  He cleared his throat and turned back towards Ruby and Sophocles.
      "No matter!  Team Rocket's Castle is under our control!  There's nothing you can do, whoever you are!" the man said, laughing while he walked away.  Ruby clenched her fists and watched as the man walked off.
      "It seems like this group calls itself Team Rocket.  They definitely don't seem like nice people..." Sophocles said.
      'Of course they aren't.  They steal Pokemon from people.  They've even killed one before...' Ruby thought to herself.
      "I can't believe I've allowed Festival Plaza to be taken over by people like them..." Sophocles said, pacing around a bit while he put a hand to his chin.
      "Still...  He said this castle was under their control.  What exactly did he mean...?" he asked himself before returning to Ruby.
      "Give me a sec and I'll check," Sophocles said, taking out the same device he used to transport him and Ruby to the Festival Plaza.  He pressed a few buttons, staring hard at the device.  After a few moments, he put it away and turned his attention back to Ruby.
      "I've got it, Ruby...  They have some sort of program lock that prevents us from using the Pokemon in our pary!" Sophocles said.
      "Well, that's just great.  How do we clear these guys out of here, then?" Ruby asked, turning her attention towards a woman dressed the same way as the first man they saw, staring at the Battle Agency desk.
      'Maybe...we don't have to use our own Pokemon,' Ruby wondered.
      "Do you have any ideas on how to get Team Rocket out of here, Ruby?" Sophocles asked.  Ruby smiled a bit and turned back towards Sophocles.
      "How about the Battle Agency?" Ruby asked.
      "The Battle Agency...?  Oh, of course!  If we use the Battle Agency rules, we can use other people's Pokemon to battle!  It doesn't matter if we can't use our own!" Sophocles replied, taking his device out once again.
      "Just a sec..." he said while he fiddled with his machine.
      "Using my admin rights to access the debug features...  Rebooting the reception program..." Sophocles mumbled.  In a flash of light, a female receptionist appeared behind the once empty Battle Agency desk.
      "I've made it so we can use the Battle Agency now, too...  I wish there was more I could do...but I can't even access my full admin rights..." Sophocles said.
      "I can take care of it from here.  Just leave it to me," Ruby said, making her way towards the Battle Agency desk.
      "I'll try and get back complete admin access while you keep them busy!" Sophocles said.  Ruby turned and nodded in agreement before turning back around and walking to the desk.
      "Welcome to the Battle Agency!" the receptionist said with a smile.  She gave Ruby the general rundown of how the Battle Agency worked before presenting her with three Poke Balls.  Ruby looked up at the screen behind the receptionist to see what Pokemon were available.
      'A Golisopod, and two Pokemon I've never seen before.  Guzma has a Golisopod, and I doubt it let him down.  I should pick that one,' Ruby thought, taking the first Poke Ball.  Due to the glitches in the Festival Plaza, the Battle Agency could only provide Ruby with hologram trainers instead of actual people, but Ruby didn't really mind it.
      "Last but not least, before you begin, we request that you project the proper look of an agent at the Battle Agency.  Good luck!" the receptionist said, handing Ruby a pair of sunglasses.
      "Um...ok.  Thanks," Ruby said, putting on her sunglasses and stepping onto the transporter next to the desk.
      'Here goes something," Ruby thought, closing her eyes as the receptionist hit a button on the bottom of her desk that activated the teleporter, sending Ruby to the stadium in an instant.  When she opened her eyes, she found herself in a large, mostly light blue stadium surrounded by silhouettes in the stands.  Two other trainers were already in the stadium and Ruby guessed it was the trainers she was supposed to be battling with.  She made her way over to the two, and once she did, the referee in the center of the stadium spoke up.
      "Let me introduce the trainers who will battle along with you," she said, but the two other trainers only gave generic responses.  Ruby shook her head while a voice rang out through the stadium.
      "Installing a battle program...  Type "Team Rainbow Rocket."
      "Rainbow Rocket?" Ruby asked as a man who looked exactly like the one who spoke to her and Sophocles earlier appeared and made his way over to the center of the stadium.
      "Oh!  Who are you?  I'll beat you!" the man said.
      'He's just as generic as these other two...' Ruby thought.
      "Let's do this!  Raticate, go!" the grunt said, throwing out his first Pokemon, a Raticate.  However, this Raticate was nothing like the Alolan variety was.  It was as Ruby remembered seeing in Kanto, a normal Raticate.
      "So that's how they're going to do things, huh?  Alright, Golisopod, let's show him what we're made of!" Ruby said, sending out the Golisopod she was borrowing.
      "Alright, let's give this guy a good first impression, Golisopod!" Ruby called out.  The Golisopod went forward and stabbed the Raticate with it's arms, doing significant damage until it started eating the berry it was holding.
      "That was nothing.  Raticate, use Super Fang!" the grunt said.  The Raticate's teeth began to glow white as it ran towards Golisopod and bit down hard on it's arm.  Golisopod shook it's arm to get the Raticate off before running off behind Ruby, almost as if it was using her as a shield.
      "Oh right, Guzma's Golisopod did this too.  Well, that's fantastic.  Return for now," Ruby mumbled, returning the Golisopod to it's Poke Ball and turning towards the two generic trainers waiting for their chance.
      "So, who wants to go now?" Ruby asked.  The sunglasses wearing boy stepped forward with his Poke Ball, sending out a Passimian.
      'They may not talk much, but maybe they can actually do something,' Ruby thought.
      "It doesn't matter at all.  Raticate, use another Super Fang!" the grunt said.  Like before, the Raticate ran towards the Passimian and bit on it with it's fangs as hard as it could.  As the Raticate was trying to return to it's trainer, the Passimian swung it's arm into the Raticate and threw it onto the ground.  The impact with the ground was enough to make the Raticate faint.
      "Not bad, generic guy," Ruby said.  While the boy didn't say anything, the Rainbow Rocket grunt was not happy.
      "You got lucky, kid.  My next Pokemon won't be as easy to take down.  Go, Golbat!" the grunt said, sending out his next Pokemon.
      "This one could be trouble," Ruby quietly said.
      "Golbat, use Screech!" the grunt ordered.  The Golbat let out a loud, piercing noise that forced Ruby, the other trainers, and even the Passimian to block their ears.  In an attempt to stop the noise, Passimian threw an Iron Ball it had with it at the Golbat.  The attack was enough to knock Golbat out of the sky, but not enough to make it faint.  At the very least, it had stopped making the noise.
      "You're getting on my nerves!  Golbat, use Toxic!" the grunt said.  The Golbat fired off a stream of purple liquid from it's mouth, poisoning the Passimian when it landed on it.  The Passimian ran at the Golbat, despite being weakened by the poison, grabbing the bat Pokemon by it's legs and jumping into the air.  It swung around in the air and threw the Golbat to the ground.  Like the Raticate, it wasn't able to take the impact of the attack and fainted.
      "Alright, one more to go," Ruby said.
      "I'm not going to let you win!  Arbok, go!" the grunt shouted, sending out his final Pokemon.  Ruby turned his attention to the other girl standing next to her.
      "Hey, you're up," Ruby said.  The girl gave a simple nod while the generic boy returned his Passimian.  She stepped forward and threw out a Clawitzer.
      "Arbok, go for a Bite attack!" the grunt ordered.  The Arbok charged at the Clawitzer and bit down on it's big claw with it's mouth.  The Clawitzer shook the Arbok off and it slithered on back to it's trainer.
      "Go for another Bite, Arbok!" the grunt said.  Like before, the Arbok charged at the Clawitzer and bit into it again.  As the Arbok started going back to it's trainer, streams of brown water began to pour out of Clawitzer's claw, and the Pokemon fired the water out like a cannon at the Arbok.
      "Well...that's something you don't see every day," Ruby said mostly to herself.
      "No!  I won't lose this!  Arbok, use Wrap!" the grunt said.  The Arbok slithered over and tried to wrap itself around Clawitzer's body, but mostly only managed to get around the Pokemon's large claw.  The Clawitzer slowly tried to open it's claw, hitting the Arbok with another blast of water.  The blast forced Arbok off of it and back towards it's trainer, causing the snake to slam right into the Rainbow Rocket grunt.  A few moments passed and Ruby, along with the Rainbow Rocket grunt, were teleported out of the stadium and back to the Festival Plaza proper.
      "So, how about that?" Ruby said, crossing her arms with a smile on her face.
      "Impossible!  This kid...defeated me?!" the Rainbow Rocket grunt questioned before stomping his foot on the ground.
      "That's unfair!  You shouldn't be able to battle so effectively with other people's Pokemon!" the grunt added.  He shook his head and pointed at Ruby and Sophocles, who had joined Ruby shortly after her return.
      "Bah...  Get 'em, guys!" the man said.  Several more Rainbow Rocket grunts who were standing around walked over, leaving Ruby and Sophocles surrounded.
      "We can't let you take back Team Rocket's Castle.  The boss's plans depend on it!" the man said.
      "The boss?" Ruby asked.
      "Just in time...  Full system restore!" Sophocles said.  In a flash of light, several of the Festival Plaza workers had reappeared.  Sophocles continued playing with his device in order to get the Rainbow Rocket grunts out of the Festival Plaza.
      "Target set to Team Rocket...  Executing kick from Festival Plaza!" Sophocles added, pressing one more button.  In moments, several of the Rainbow Rocket grunts began to dissapear.  The first man, who seemed to be leading the group, made one final charge at Ruby before he also vanished.
      "That was a bit too close for comfort," Ruby said.
      "Whew...  That was close.  ...Thanks for your help, Ruby!  You kept them busy just long enough for me to get back full admin access...  I've used that access to lock Team Rocket from the Festival Plaza forever!  I also restored all the features and everything to normal, too," Sophocles explained.
      "Actually, Sophocles, can you try to fix one more thing for me?" Ruby asked.
      "What other thing do you want me to fix? Sophocles asked.  Ruby took a deep breath and told Sophocles everything that she knew about the voice in her head that guided her along her island challenge and how it had suddenly vanished after she had become the Champion.  Hearing herself, she thought that the whole thing actually sounded a little crazy, but at the same time, she knew that the whole thing was real.
      "I'm telling you that it's all true.  If it wasn't for that voice, I don't think I'd even be here right now," Ruby said, watching as Sophocles started walking away from her as if her entire story was nothing but crazy talk.  Ruby sighed and walked back inside the castle, taking a seat in a nearby chair.
      'I just want them to come back.  Without the voice guiding me along, I don't think I ever would've become the champion of Alola.  If they were here, maybe we could figure out what's going on with these Ultra Beasts and these Team Rainbow Rocket people.  All I want is for things to go back to how they were before,' Ruby thought, looking up at the ceiling.  For a few moments, she didn't hear anything at all.  Deep down, she had hoped for something to happen, but when those hopes were proven to be a waste of time, Ruby shook her head and stood up.  As she started walking towards the castle's exit, a faint, but familiar voice rang out.  Ruby stopped and looked around, a part of her thinking she was finally losing it.
      "I must finally be hearing things," Ruby said until she heard the voice again, a bit clearer than before.  She looked around once again just to make sure she wasn't dreaming.
      'Is this really possible?  How can I hear the voice again so suddenly?  Is this some kind of sign or something?' Ruby wondered while she walked around a bit.  She shook her head, a part of thinking the reason didn't really matter much.  She knew that she could trust the voice to guide her along the way and hopefully help her figure out what was going on.
      So then I said "well, Diamond and Pearl suck because the games are ultra slow, and Platinum is the only thing saving Sinnoh from being on par with Kalos or Alola in terms of..."  Um...Hi?  What the heck is this?  What's going on here.  I finally have access to the Ultra Moon stuff and now Sophocles is thanking me for something and giving me an Eject Button.  What even happened?  Ever since Episode 14 ended, I've been locked out of my Ultra Moon project.  I can only guess this was the work of the same person who's been breaking my script.  Well, no worries, it's over now.  Now we can start with Episode 15.
      Wait, what?  What do you mean there's already an Episode 15?  I never wrote an Episode 15.  And who even titled this episode?  I thought Team Rocket was censored...and wait, what?  Is the script fixed?  That's convenient.  How did that even happen?  This totally has something to do with the weird things going on since the whole Masked Royal case.
      Well...alright then.  I guess we're back in business.  I honestly had no intention of doing postgame since there's not even much to do in postgame, but we'll cross that bridge when we get to it.  Instead, let's talk about what goes down next here in the Gen 7 postgame.  According to the game, what comes next takes place straight away after the Rainbow Rocket incident at the Festival Plaza.  I won't argue with it, but to be honest, the whole thing just seems a little...eh.
      Anyway, how about we get on with the show.  But first...who named the Type: Null you get without a choice after Gladion the Edgelord?  It's also Modest, so it sucks too since Type: Null and Silvally learn almost no special attacks at all, or at least learn any worth using.  I'll have to box it later.  I'm beating around the bush, now, though.  After the whole Festival Plaza fiasco, I guess instead of taking care of those boxes, she taught her Meowth how to turn on the TV.  Pro tip, don't teach your pets to turn on electronics.
      After they walk away, we get to see a press conference from the Aether Paradise regarding the clouds that appeared over Poni Island, but we already know it was the whole Necrozma thing.  Lusamine, who is actually crazy and not a good person at all, kinda just drops the bomb and says it was Necrozma's fault.  I mean, we still get our praise and...Faba walks away.  Ok, I didn't like him anyway.  Moving on, as Lusamine rambles on, an Ultra Wormhole opens up and suddenly Rainbow Rocket guy tackles the cameraman.  Apparently, there's chaos, but let's be real here, not much is actually going on because Lusamine went after a mysterious man.
      And so, the Rainbow Rocket Episode begins, postgame content added into Pokemon Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon, and since we're here, we may as well nuzlocke it.  I know in the earlier stages of this run, I was on the fence about doing postgame, but at this point, I might as well do it.  It gives me more reasons to complain about these games and how...lackluster they are in my opinion.
      So...Ultra Wormholes are still a thing, and after that little moment, there's someone at the door again.  Because in this universe, people don't lock their doors, Lillie comes barging in, but at least she's nice about it...unlike a certain shirtless murderer I will be talking about briefly in the next episode.  Anyway, turns out she saw the Ultra Wormhole problem at Aether Paradise, and she just tells us that she's going to see what's going on.  I mean, we could always go and see what's up, but..we're not going to do that.
      Now, here's the thing.  We aren't being forced to go to Aether Paradise.  We can go there and handle business there anytime we want, so here's what we're gonna go.  Some new areas have been unlocked now that we're conqueror of Alola, and that means encounters.  That and I want to prove that these games lack in content.  I mean, at the time of writing this, Let's Go Pikachu and Eevee have just released and those games have disappointingly small amounts of postgame content even though in my honest opinion, the entire game is a disappointment.  We're not here to talk about those games, though.  Next time, we will be doing everything we can except the Rainbow Rocket stuff.  So, until next time.
      And no, I'm not catching the Tapus.  They're sort of in the same class as the Lake Trio, but better, and even though I will be bending rules soon for certain reasons, I am marking the Tapus in the same class as legendaries like Zygarde and Necrozma.  So yeah, we're not breaking the postgame extremely hard.  Anyway, with that out of the way, until the next episode.
      Also, the Rainbow Rocket grunt theme is fantastic and you'll be doing yourself a favor by listening to it.
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