Apocalypse World OOC

[IsabellaRose]

Well. I missed a lot having to be in meetings in the office all day.

[Chiyako]

Watching Kiyo attempt to be seductive will be pretty fun!

Although it looks like things might have taken a bit of a turn here.

Well. From my understanding after catching up and then going back and re-reading things. . .

@Warning Nobody is forcing you to run your character any differently. Highlighting a stat is a suggestion if nothing else, a sort of reward for playing your character in ways that they might not be fully kitted out for. Even then, you aren't necessarily going to be highlighting only your worst stats. For example Kiyo so far is highlighting both her best and her worst. If I use either of those I mark experience, but nothing is forcing me to do that. I could still play Kiyo as just a Hard focused Gunlugger. I won't, because I think exploring her weaker points is more interesting, and can lead to some amusing moments, and some character growth. But if I wanted to I could ignore the Hot stat and play just fine. It'll probably change next session.

Speaking of which, again, they are temporarily marked. They change per session. If Weird was highlighted for you then you still wouldn't have to engage with it, and if you lost out on some potential xp because of it then that is completely fine. Maybe I miss out on some xp for not using one of those two as well, but the game isn't about only rolling your highlighted stats for things. It is only a part of how the characters grow. If it doesn't grow as quickly as others that is fine because sometimes you will have some of your lesser stats highlighted and sometimes you'll have your top two highlighted. It's just how the system is. This game isn't meant to be competitive, and nobody is trying to make it competitive. It would only really be competitive if people were trying their best just to have only their top two stats highlighted. At the end of the day, you're not being told to run your character in any way other than what you had planned to run it, provided you do so within the confines of the game's system.

As far as I can see after looking back on previous posts, we have all been following the system. The people who decide on the highlights can choose what stats to highlight according to what they think is interesting. For example, I gave my reasons why I highlighted specific stats for people, and it is because I would like to see interesting things done with them. They could ignore the stat I highlighted. They could ignore both highlighted stats. They wouldn't really be that worse off for it, save for the fact that they might miss out on some interesting things they could explore with their character.

Nobody has held any bias towards anyone, at least so far as I've noticed, so I don't understand where you are getting that from. Heck, I don't even understand why you are getting upset over highlighting stats in the first place. Nobody has even highlighted one of yours yet, as far as I am aware. You are assuming that people are going to highlight your character's weaker stats and, worse still, assuming they would do so to harm your character, which I don't think is very fair.

I don't think @WritesNaughtyStories has any issues with you challenging what the system is, but it is the system we had planned to run with. Nobody had intended to change it. We had gathered together to run with this system, and I assume people read what the system was before making characters. It's different in how it approaches experience gain and character development but it is a pretty fun system to play. I hope you change your mind about it and give it a shot, I do look forward to seeing how your Angel plays out and I think if you gave it a shot you would come to enjoy it, but nobody is going to force you to stay if you decide you don't want to play with this system.

I really do hope you change your mind and plan to continue MCing this @WritesNaughtyStories, I was certainly quite excited for it, as I am sure are most if not all of us. If you don't though then I will understand, although I don't think I'll participate if somebody else decides to take over.

That's just my two cents, anyhow. After a quick skim through. Maybe I got some things wrong, feel free to correct me if so. I am quite tired.

Edited March 4 by Chiyako
I am a perfectionist and a single i was left uncapitalized. How dare I!

[Warning]

3 hours ago, Chiyako said:

Nobody has held any bias towards anyone, at least so far as I've noticed, so I don't understand where you are getting that from. Heck, I don't even understand why you are getting upset over highlighting stats in the first place. Nobody has even highlighted one of yours yet, as far as I am aware. You are assuming that people are going to highlight your character's weaker stats and, worse still, assuming they would do so to harm your character, which I don't think is very fair.

Not exactly, I only argued about why I think it might be wrong with the character build going on. As for said bias, I've been around long enough to know who does or does not have a problem with me. It's a miracle I've stayed around this long, even... The instant jump to "If you don't like it, go away" is one hint among a few. I mean, everybody else has been otherwise polite and patient with me. Some people jump a little too hard on "Get off my game if you don't like MY rules". And I mean, there are ways to say it that don't sound rude...

Besides, it took one time questioning his logic for him to fold and supposedly hand me the reign over the story. Something nobody asked for. Again, questioning his authority on matters that should not be that important got him to just bail out. Do you think that's rational? I've had a good fun with you chatting about how I could exactly just ignore my highlighted stat. I was only "upset" when he started going at me about it. Key difference. This is why I was still in a bright mood about character development and joking with "I'm a genius."

People can lecture me about my choices but why not point out his attitude in this situation because that sure was not rational nor fun to deal with. Again, I did a lot of effort to make this work when I could have went "Fuck this, I'm gonna do whatever I want". Which WOULD warrant me getting kicked out. He also assumed that my line of thought was "I want to do as I please and screw others' fun" but when did I say that? I proved with Isabella that I could take ideas that sounded good. Everyone was having fun until suddenly I'm wrong?

As for this whole joke of "Letting the obnoxious user take over because I can't bother being questioned", even I don't agree with that. Did I ever once ask to take over MC? Lot of assumptions about me trying to decide things were thrown here and I only nagged about ONE detail WHILE deciding to do as I please according to the rules of the game. Whose fun did I ruin by it? As he said, he wanted to make it interesting for himself more than making it interesting for us. He has an opinion of what's interesting and I have my own opinion.

Honestly, I don't think any of this crap against me is warranted because again, you can see in my playbook profile and etc that I tried to really get a character that fit in into this. One I was really excited for because it played well with something new I can do while doing something I like. I may have failed to find a character for the last story but that didn't work for me and it happens. What's wrong here other than someone being pissed off the moment I dared to question them about this? Only reason I was stressed all day is that attitude.

Now, will people just see this post as "bla bla I don't care nonsense" or actually care to see what's going on here? I'm not really upset. Just disappointed how little it takes for people to behave like this. Well, I saw this kind of attitude from people who decided one day to outright hate me and see me as the villain but like, come on... I'm still in a "wtf even happened" mood right now because I have no idea what his problem is, especially with the last condescending posts that he made. What happened to, I dunno, just being nice about it?

P.S.: Unless someone wants to lie about it, I was doing exactly what you said before that quote above. "They could ignore both highlighted stats.", and it apparently warranted a "You want to bend the rules to your whim to ruin everyone's fun" so sorry to repeat but wtf even happened? If I am going by the rules, which you seem to see the same way I did, why did I upset him so much? It sounds weird to react like this unless someone wanted to decide for me how I was gonna play my character. But again... What the fuck even happened?

Edited March 5 by Warning

[Chiyako]

1 hour ago, Warning said:

Not exactly, I only argued about why I think it might be wrong with the character build going on. As for said bias, I've been around long enough to know who does or does not have a problem with me. It's a miracle I've stayed around this long, even... The instant jump to "If you don't like it, go away" is one hint among a few. I mean, everybody else has been otherwise polite and patient with me. Some people jump a little too hard on "Get off my game if you don't like MY rules". And I mean, there are ways to say it that don't sound rude...

Besides, it took one time questioning his logic for him to fold and supposedly hand me the reign over the story. Nothing nobody asked for. Again, questioning his authority on matters that should not be that important got him to just bail out. Do you think that's rational? I've had a good fun with you chatting about how I could exactly just ignore my highlighted stat. I was only "upset" when he started going at me about it. Key difference. This is why I was still in a bright mood about character development and joking with "I'm a genius."

People can lecture me about my choices but why not point out his attitude in this situation because that sure was not rational nor fun to deal with. Again, I did a lot of effort to make this work when I could have went "Fuck this, I'm gonna do whatever I want". Which WOULD warrant me getting kicked out. He also assumed that my line of thought was "I want to do as I please and screw others' fun" but when did I say that? I proved with Isabella that I could take ideas that sounded good. Everyone was having fun until suddenly I'm wrong?

As for this whole joke of "Letting the obnoxious user take over because I can't bother being questioned", even I don't agree with that. Did I ever once asked to take over MC? Lot of assumptions about me trying to decide things were thrown here and I only nagged about ONE detail WHILE deciding to do as I please according to the rules of the game. Whose fun did I ruin by it? As he said, he wanted to make it interesting for himself more than making it interesting for us. He has an opinion of what's interesting and I have my own opinion.

Honestly, I don't think any of this crap against me is warranted because again, you can see in my playbook profile and etc that I tried to really get a character that fit in into this. One I was really excited for because it played well with something new I can do while doing something I like. I may have failed to find a character for the last story but that didn't work for me and it happens. What's wrong here other than someone being pissed off the moment I dared to question them about this? Only reason I was stressed all day is that attitude.

Now, will people just see this post as "bla bla I don't care nonsense" or actually care to see what's going on here? I'm not really upset. Just disappointed how little it takes for people to behave like this. Well, I saw this kind of attitude from people who decided one day to outright hate me and see me as the villain but like, come on... I'm still in a "wtf even happened" mood right now because I have no idea what his problem is, especially with the last condescending posts that he made. What happened to, I dunno, just being nice about it?

P.S.: Unless someone wants to lie about it, I was doing exactly what you said before that quote above. "They could ignore both highlighted stats.", and it apparently warranted a "You want to bend the rules to your whim to ruin everyone's fun" so sorry to repeat but wtf even happened? If I am going by the rules, which you seem to see the same way I did, why did I upset him so much? It sounds weird to react like this unless someone wanted to decide for me how I was gonna play my character. But again... What the fuck even happened?

I think perhaps one of the biggest issues might have been how much you appeared to be against the rules as a whole. You were quite vocal about not playing around with highlighted stats that were weaker (or perhaps just the Weird stat?), which sure is fine on its own but honestly it would be a little disheartening for me to hear that if I were running the game. It felt like you were frustrated at having to play with the system as it was intended to be played, even before we got to the idea of highlighting stats (such as when we were building lore and the initial setting), which I imagine for someone MCing the game would be frustrating, especially when everyone else was excited to play with the system. I imagine it could make one wonder why you would want to join if you weren't going to enjoy playing the system we had chosen. I think it would be perfectly fine for you to just try your best to not roll with Weird (or whatever highlighted stat might be the issue), but to blatantly speak up and say you're not going to do so because you don't feel like engaging with that part of the system does come off as you just not wanting to play to how the system is meant to be played. Also it wasn't their rules, it is the rules of the system we had chosen to play with.

You were also being somewhat passive aggressive towards the MC, or again, at least towards the system. They were being a bit more blunt about things regarding your dislike of that part of the system when they said that if you don't want to play the game as it is intended then you maybe shouldn't play the game, but truth be told it is hard to disagree with the sentiment. It wasn't really a statement made towards you out of spite for who you are. I could see it being frustration with your not wanting to play the game as it is intended to be played. The game is meant to be played in a certain way, and it felt like you held little to no interest in playing it that way. Again, as MC that would be frustrating. But then you were also suggesting that they just didn't like you as a person, which was a bit of a surprise, and not fair to them, when all they were trying to do was explain to you how the system was supposed to work. I mean yes, they did say if you didn't like the system that maybe you shouldn't play, but they aren't exactly wrong there. It's not really fun to play a game with someone when they don't even like the game that they are playing and, worse still, are quite vocal about it. It ruins the mood for everyone else and kills the excitement people might have towards playing the game.

And then you went on to say that they were getting upset because you were questioning their authority, which isn't really what was happening. Either you didn't understand what we were trying to explain about the system, or were ignoring that, and because of that you started to get a little more hostile towards them and accused them not only of not following the rules of the system (which they were) but also that they said they could use the system to nerf you (they didn't say that, as far as I am aware). And then you blamed them for causing you anxiety which, again, I don't think is very fair.

Given all that I don't really see their reaction as that much over blown. It's not like just one thing you said caused them to leave. All of us put a lot of work into this, and I imagine they were working on things behind the scenes as well. When you work on building something and then one person who you assumed wanted to join in that thing that you are building is just repeating how frustrated they are in the thing you are trying to build towards, that can get quite frustrating. Eventually it doesn't even take that much to set that frustration off.

Edited March 5 by Chiyako
And is not are! Perfectionism my curse! Woe is me!

[Warning]

1 hour ago, Chiyako said:

I think perhaps one of the biggest issues might have been how much you appeared to be against the rules as a whole. You were quite vocal about not playing around with highlighted stats that were weaker (or perhaps just the Weird stat?), which sure is fine on its own but honestly it would be a little disheartening for me to hear that if I were running the game. It felt like you were frustrated at having to play with the system as it was intended to be played, even before we got to the idea of highlighting stats (such as when we were building lore and the initial setting), which I imagine for someone MCing the game would be frustrating, especially when everyone else was excited to play with the system. I imagine it could make one wonder why you would want to join if you weren't going to enjoy playing the system we had chosen. I think it would be perfectly fine for you to just try your best to not roll with Weird (or whatever highlighted stat might be the issue), but to blatantly speak up and say you're not going to do so because you don't feel like engaging with that part of the system does come off as you just not wanting to play to how the system is meant to be played. Also it wasn't their rules, it is the rules of the system we had chosen to play with.

You were also being somewhat passive aggressive towards the MC, or again, at least towards the system. They were being a bit more blunt about things regarding your dislike of that part of the system when they said that if you don't want to play the game as it is intended then you maybe shouldn't play the game, but truth be told it is hard to disagree with the sentiment. It wasn't really a statement made towards you out of spite for who you are. I could see it being frustration with your not wanting to play the game as it is intended to be played. The game is meant to be played in a certain way, and it felt like you held little to no interest in playing it that way. Again, as MC that would be frustrating. But then you were also suggesting that they just didn't like you as a person, which was a bit of a surprise, and not fair to them, when all they were trying to do was explain to you how the system was supposed to work. I mean yes, they did say if you didn't like the system that maybe you shouldn't play, but they aren't exactly wrong there. It's not really fun to play a game with someone when they don't even like the game that they are playing and, worse still, and quite vocal about it. It ruins the mood for everyone else and kills the excitement people might have towards playing the game.

And then you went on to say that they were getting upset because you were questioning their authority, which isn't really what was happening. Either you didn't understand what we were trying to explain about the system, or were ignoring that, and because of that you started to get a little more hostile towards them and accused them not only of not following the rules of the system (which they were) but also that they said they could use the system to nerf you (they didn't say that, as far as I am aware). And then you blamed them for causing you anxiety which, again, I don't think is very fair.

Given all that I don't really see their reaction as that much over blown. It's not like just one thing you said caused them to leave. All of us put a lot of work into this, and I imagine they were working on things behind the scenes as well. When you work on building something and then one person who you assumed wanted to join in that thing that you are building is just repeating how frustrated they are in the thing you are trying to build towards, that can get quite frustrating. Eventually it doesn't even take that much to set that frustration off.

And you didn't say anything until HE did in a rude manner. I mean, you sounded like you even thought it was funny. So it was not a problem until it became one. And yes, I saw the highlight stats but I did not fully understand what it meant back then, probably. However, I still do question the logic behind it. Seriously, look at the job moves and etc. Why can we choose a build that give better stats than others AND moves that fit along with them if we can decide "You know what? This is a highlight of your stats even though no moves make use of it and it won't serve you any purpose except make you struggle a bit to get it to work". I know it's the intended system but I still went by what I am allowed to do. I didn't do anything illegal.

I am also very vocal about lot of things. Is it always right? Probably not. I was still not straight out rude toward anyone until he went "if you don't like it, just don't play." Pretty sure I tried such a comment in a conversation once and I was chewed about it before but why would he be wrong, right? Again, there are ways to say things. Let me be honest. If I didn't have any interest, I wouldn't have done any effort make it work. Again. I nagged about only ONE detail and nothing else. I can probably be argumentative but it should not be a crime. Why are we even trying to defend his attitude anyway? I'd be crushed to dust by everyone if I had the same attitude with anyone else on this website. This is why I'm trying to be very cooperative.

My comment toward his bias against me wasn't born from this thread alone, btw. Yes, it's a surprise to anyone who didn't experience it firsthand. I only let that out because I know who I am dealing with. It doesn't mean that I'll put my tail between my legs and stay away. I didn't join this story to bully or harass him but I think this turn of event is of no surprise to me, is all. For the next point, I was vocal about ONE detail and not the entire game. To call it "not liking the game they are playing" is an exaggeration. It's making a mountain out of a molehill, to which I can only say "Come on, now." This is why I think I am getting blamed for a lot of things that don't feel warranted. It's like a lot of things are being ignored as well, here. o.O

If they follow the rules of the game to the T, why did they employ a definition that was more akin to nerf characters (Or they might be unstoppable) over the correct term used by the playbook, where a character should choose a stat that they find most interesting? Yes, I'm a nagging asshole about details but I like things being clarified. He clearly specified that it would be more interesting to him to see a gunlugger do something that's not combat because combat itself (for a gunlugger? lol) would be too unstoppable. You literally have a skill named "NOT TO BE FUCKED WITH". Look, say whatever you want about me but my observations are seeing something that apparently I'm the only one to see here. But we still have that option...

And yes, I was feeling good this morning until he dropped me that text wall that basically summed up to "If you're not happy, don't play". And this alone didn't feel warranted. I get easily stressed and as I was happy to really get into this story with finally a character that works, a build that fits well with her, gears, etc, I apparently upset someone so hard that it ended in "please fuck off". Understand that sentiment as much as you like, I don't think it's warranted. His last two posts just feel condescending as well... But I suppose that I should take the blame for everything that's happening, right? Like, over so little? I was vocal about ONE. DETAIL. and you want to defend his reaction as "not that much over blown", Come on, Chiyako. >.>

You know I was into this, playing along with it. Sure, I might have sounded like I wanted to do my own thing but I was also sacrificing myself in the process. There was no advantage for me to gain out of what I was doing. I was still in that story, still answering his questions and trying my best to make it sound good, still creating a character that was as close as possible to one fitting the intended world. I sure do sound like I hate the work. (/s). It was one detail I nagged about. Not the whole thing. And yes, I like to discuss things and how they work. His frustration is on him, not on me. It was not rational to be upset over a little "Someone else gets to decide my highlight, I might dislike how it might go against how I built my character"

So yes, waaay over blown. This morning, I could only powerlessly read that response of his and feel crushed all day that it was his reaction to that, especially when I demonstrated more than enough what I had done to be part of this. I would spend many days and hours to get a character and make a build (Even save playbooks and edit them) for a game I don't like? Sure... I was even excited to show what I had found and done for it, even made my character page pretty. I imagine such effort are worthless, though. He needed a reason to pin something on me and there it is. Now, I'm the asshole in the eyes of everyone over a detail. No recognition for the effort done, only assumption about what was supposedly said here, wtf.

I mean, to think that we still had fun to talk about it. Even my latest replies to you over "doing whatever I want" were reacted with by "funny" but only when he was offended by it, am I suddenly scolded for whatever I supposedly frustrated him for. He was challenged for things he said and gave up instantly when I pointed them out. Fine he doesn't like me and doesn't want to have an actual discussion with me. What now, then? I should just stay away, never participate into anything? Let's not say that I am forcing myself to be here. I am with people who I thought I could have fun with. But god did this sour the mood... A very tiny detail. That's all. Everything else was fine so far. Everyone was enjoying themselves. (seemingly) Boom.

Edited March 5 by Warning

[Chiyako]

I tend to err on the side of letting things play out. I don't really get involved with this sort of thing unless I feel like something maybe should be said, and if what I do say might be constructive. I don't really enjoy drama between people. That is why I kept more or less quiet.

I did think your little comment about being a genius was amusing, yes, which is why I reacted to it as such. I didn't and still don't think that it was really you pushing any buttons, at least not on purpose, and I actually do agree with most of what you stated in that comment. Not growing could itself be a good character trait if done right. It could be interesting. I wouldn't call it growth exactly, but I don't think that aspect of it would be bad. Although I do think that not engaging with a big part of the system we decided to use is a bit silly, even if I also think that it is fine to play it that way.

You did put work into making your character work, yes. Initially you did gripe somewhat over the lore building and setting building parts of the game (the comment I remember off the top of my head being about creating canon information on the fly). Even so you still worked with that and according to the system. But enough griping over other specifics of the system over time is enough to wear on anyone MCing a game, especially when everyone is trying to explain why the system works as it does (which is something I still don't think you fully understand, which is part of the issue). When that transitions into accusing people of things, it's obviously not going to end well.

The main problem is that you were so vocal about that one point to the extent that it doesn't really read like anything other than contempt for the system itself. Perhaps you didn't mean to be rude. That's not really for me to say. But they weren't really being rude when they said you could just not join if you didn't like the system. It really did seem like you just weren't enjoying the system, and I think they suggesting that maybe this game wasn't for you was a fair assessment. I probably would have suggested the same were I in their shoes, but I wasn't the MC. There wasn't really any reason for me to suggest it, it wasn't really my place to do so, and I figured things would ultimately smooth out, you might try the system, and you might even enjoy it. Or you might decide to play as you were intending and things would work themselves out.

Even if your primary gripe was just focused towards one detail, that one detail is a fairly important one for the game. Nobody said that your plan was to play in an illegal manner. You were simply planning on not really engaging with an important aspect of the system, which while fine might have consequences for your character growth, which you were also griping about. Even if it did, it wouldn't be that big of an issue. Not liking that part of the system isn't even a bad thing. But your constant griping about that one aspect is something that, over time, could become frustrating for anyone intending to MC the game. And perhaps you didn't intend to come off as not enjoying the game or the system, but it did feel that way, even to me.

I mean, even now you are griping over the system, and we have tried to explain it to you. The point of the system is to encourage you to do something outside the comfort zone of your character, and sometimes even to embrace what makes them, well, them. That depends on what stats are highlighted. And, again, and I feel I must stress this heavily for probably the third time now, the highlights are temporary. They change. Just because someone chooses one stat that you do not like for one session, does not mean that it will be the same for the next session. Even if you have this much of a gripe over that aspect of the system, it still isn't going to be something that is an issue some, if not potentially most, of the time.

When they said that you could leave if you don't want to play, I feel like you took it more as an attack, which it probably wasn't. I'll acknowledge that sure, there might be some bias towards you from outside this game. Or there might not be. It's not really something I can comment on or know for certain because I only have knowledge of what I have seen here to go off of. But I imagine if they were that biased against you then they might not have allowed you to join in the first place. I could be wrong of course. This is just conjecture based off what I have observed. But that seems like the most logical thing to me.

You think their reaction to be overblown and a result of one thing. I disagree, and I have already explained why I disagree. I don't think we are going to agree on how this went, and that is fine. These are things as I see them. Take what you will of them. I am disappointed that this is how things went, but there isn't much left to be done about it. I am sad that I didn't get to roleplay with you or the others, or your characters. I was looking forward to it. I hope we can roleplay together in another game and in a system you enjoy more. But that is really all I have to say on this, and I grow tired, so I am going to leave my part of it there.

[Warning]

On a more positive note (and no, I'm not dumb enough to think that this conversation will be buried.) but I thought I'd show what I have been working on, with some details that I had to edit with layers so I can change things here and there without affecting the whole thing. It's not visually much but I still think that it's pretty. Well, since I opened my mouth about working a lot on this game to make it work, I figured it was best that I let my work speak for me rather than just let words be words. I didn't just pretend that I was excited, I really was. If we have playbooks, I wanted mine to look like I was really using it and not just scribble things. If this game IS over then I'll have at least that to think about what it could have been... So yeah...

Spoiler

Feel free to comment or ignore it. I mean, I invite even WritesNaughtyStories to say something about it if he wants to but as this is very basic, I suppose there's not much to say about it. I tried to add little details to make it look "good". It's just formatting, colors and little gears. No, I'm not necessarily looking for validation or anything... It's just, at this point, this seemed like a fun thing to do. This might not be proof for anything but I really was trying to set myself up for this and see how far this could go. I would not have joined if I was not interested. I mean, sure, I do try to run things along with Satai and Chiyako, I will not lie about that. They are some of the best people I've had the chance to meet on this website so yeah... you know.

 

This said... If I trust what Chiyako says above (post seen and read from this point), I complain a lot. Not the first time... I think I've been an annoyance to many many people around me because I vocalize things too much and sometimes without thinking or realizing. That said, even if I said to not take it personally, it probably wouldn't be so easy. I have problems but I don't mean to ruin anyone's fun. I still have no idea wtf happened here, though. One day, we all seemed to look forward to this and nobody really told me to shut up then suddenly, everything turned to "We're fed with you so please go away if you don't like it". What went wrong? Still no idea. I don't feel like I complained all THAT much if not speak many opinions of things.

Honestly, though, I feel like my life is nothing but a huge misunderstanding. I say things that people might take and twist to make it sound uglier than what I really meant. As for making things on the fly, I do it a lot in roleplay but generally in ways I see my character going. Nothing is planned, all is improvised. Pretty sure I don't see things change here for anyone. It's roleplay after all, no? My point about that was more that I had trouble setting my characters into the "I need to put her in random lore I've never really experienced yet so it feels odd to me." And such thing is not meant to be an attack on the game or anyone. Just... I usually have a certain way to do things that I know are totally different here. I'm trying to adapt to all of it.

But still... If the thing about the hx stats (my "complaints" about it) were so bad, I'd have appreciated a nudge (or a tackle lol) to tell me how I can see it in a positive light. Remember that I'm fresh new at this. MAYBE someone tried, maybe I was stubborn. I know I can be a pain in the ass to deal with... Fine, nobody is forced to deal with me but I'm trying hard to prove that I'm here to enjoy things with you and not just be some toxic pos ruining fun for others. I still take offense to the accusation that I wanted to bend the rules to my whim and sacrifice other people's fun for mine. I'd prefer to quit over doing that. I have always valued making sure that everyone has fun together, otherwise I would not be here trying to roleplay with anyone.

As for the last part. I still have to ask: Do things really have to break over such a little thing? Like, it might not be a little thing to some of you. (Again, I'm still in wtf mode, here. I didn't feel like there was such a big deal) but everyone wants this, no? The planning was good, the story looks fine. WritesNaughtyStories handled questions just fine so far. He wanted to MC this and everyone wanted it. So why are we letting this situation destroy it? Like, is there really no way we can get past this and just enjoy it? I really am trying to find a ground where everyone is happy here. It looked promising and I feel like this event should not wreck it just because a misunderstanding of sort caused an unfortunate conflict between some of us. So, can we?

As for me, yes I go through a big depression and I tend to see drama or certain things like an attack. (I will sound like I'm victimizing now.) The responses I got yesterday gave me anxiety attacks all day and I can barely sleep now because I feel like a scolded puppy. Again, I realize I'm not perfect and I want to make clear that despite however I came off with my opinions, I was still excited for this and I'm sure Satai was as well and so was Isabella (and I think Dreams). Yes, I'm exhausted by drama as well... I might unknowingly start some and I'm sorry for that but I think we all want to play together. I know it's ultimately WritesNaughtyStories's choice, though. My real feelings are here so people know me better. I'll hope we can get past this...

Edited March 5 by Warning

[WritesNaughtyStories]

@Warning, I apologize for handling this the way I did. I will not, however, run this game with you in it. Your contempt for me, my time and efforts to run the game properly and for all the players is clear.

[IsabellaRose]

I could write my own wall of text to put my feelings out there, but as Chiyako's post pretty much hit all the points I would want to make, I'll let her post speak for me. 

[Warning]

3 hours ago, WritesNaughtyStories said:

@Warning, I apologize for handling this the way I did. I will not, however, run this game with you in it. Your contempt for me, my time and efforts to run the game properly and for all the players is clear.

Oh come on, I even praised what you had done with it so far with only a detail I nagged about and I probably should not have. All I'm asking for is another chance to do this right because I assure you that it's not like that. I can be a loud asshole and I know there are things I need to change but I proved above that I was interested in it.

I just felt that some of my interactions with you had been oddly cold and I took it personally. Again, I'm sorry for that but it's less contempt and more misunderstood feelings, maybe? I'm open to communicate better, play without complaining, go by your choices, follow the playbook. Please let me prove it to you, for this game's sake.

A last chance to do this right and if I don't understand something, I will ask you or anyone. I really did not mean to sound like I somehow hated it because I really don't. I do want to see you and everyone have fun with this so can we please do that? I assure you that you will not regret it. It was going so well so far so please? A chance?

I apologize for how I might have  come off. ><

 

P.S.: Chiyako proved that there are things I still didn't understand and I know I was not my best at voicing it. I can be a wreck when it comes to social communication these days and I know I have a lot to work on. Sincerely, I apologize for my behavior. I want to make it up to you. Let me prove it to you. Test me, even. This can be good.

Edited March 5 by Warning

[Warning]

@WritesNaughtyStories

Look, sorry for double posting but I beg you on my knees to give me another chance. (I'm a bit anxious right now so sorry for that). I know I said things I should not have but nothing irreversible happened yet, did it? Like, every playbooks look good and ready for a game, following the rules of the game. I really didn't want to frustrate you about anything...

I know weird is not an insult in the context of this game anyway. I just did not see my character as someone using weird powers but yes, I think I was too loud about how it sounded like a terrible thing. It was stupid of me. It's not that I was offended about it, just that I didn't want to dip in the "weird" side. "I" made a mountain out of a molehill about this.

My ignorance and novice ass with TTRPGs made me question things in ways that might have sounded like gripe and criticism. It's on me. I overreacted and said things I should not, some of which that were unwarranted. I apologize and I promise to behave. I sometimes get so excited that I tend to lose control of myself. It's a problem for me, I admit that...

I will not try and shift blame on anyone. You and I roleplayed before and I think it went rather well. There's no contempt for you. My honest feeling is that I was afraid to make you upset after we talked less and especially with my last failure in Isabella's story idea, I felt like I was only annoying you. I joined this despite that because it looked very interesting.

I dug this hole like I always do but I'm being sincere. It was never my intention to decide anything for anyone else or to take your place as MC. I enjoyed your questions toward my character, Isabella's ideas, Chiyako's spirit, Satai's interest with this game. Can't say Dream said much but Jasmine's stuff looked fun, too. So. Can we please put this behind us?

Edited March 5 by Warning