short Beauty and the Beast

[Aura]

Image Credit: Phil Gromley ( Twitter: @GromleyPhil )

The first incident happened so quickly. I was horrified. The moonbeams struck and he was a beast. Before I knew it, his claws had sunk into me and I couldn't even find a scream inside of me.

He apologized and told me he never chose to be this way. He loved me dearly and wanted to protect me, he never wanted to hurt me. I didn't believe him at first but I realized I wasn't being fair to him. Why would anyone choose a life like this? To hurt the only one who showed him love? He was damaged, he was hurt. You just couldn't see his wounds. He told me I should leave, but I insisted I stay. I didn't want him to suffer alone, why should he?

I knew what I was risking. I could get hurt even worse or even die. Maybe a part of me was craving that. What a beautiful way to go that would be. Dying by the hands of your lover you trusted with all your heart. I would be a tragic hero and he a tragic villain. The victim is always beautified after her death. I would be the drop-dead gorgeous angel of a damsel in distress and he would be the hideous monster who wants nothing more than to ensnare me in the devil's trap. I would be praised, songs would be song, I would be loved like I'd never been loved before. Yes, maybe that is something I wanted. I didn't want to suffer alone, why should I?

It angered him how little I cared. And when the next full moon rose, my new wounds would only be deeper than the last ones. Yet he never ended me and we both knew it was because he loved me. Just one time I wanted him to go too far. All it would take was one last attack and it would all be over and I'd get my wish. After all, why shouldn't I?

He'd apologize again. He'd tell me he became this way to keep me safe, not to hurt me. I thought he never chose to be this way but I guess I must've just assumed that. He loved me so much he wanted to be strong enough to ensure nobody would ever take me from him. After all, why shouldn't he?

I could leave if I ever wanted. I could go and be surrounded by family and friends who would notice my scars and suddenly be on my side. Why would he let me?

He could leave if he ever wanted. He could go and get some other girl with the lessons he'd learned from me. Why would I let him?

If he went off, he'd be discovered for the monster he is. Why should I care?

If I went off, I'd be discovered for the monster he is.

All I wanted was my wish. All I wanted was to be done.

All he wanted was his wish. All he wanted was to be loved.

I never loved him, and he never ended me.

I never left, he never left.

I'd apologize again. I'd tell him I love him. I knew he'd never chosen to be this way. I was just taking advantage of him. He'd always just smile and put a gentle kiss on my lips. He told me I had nothing to apologize for. After all, he loves me.

And with his claws dragging through my flesh, I know he loves me.

Under every scream of pain I really mean to say I love him.

And with every apology, I know that at some point the lines got crossed.

Somehow, somewhere, I became the werewolf.

The last incident happened so slowly. I was exhausted. The moonbeams struck and I was his pet again. Before I knew it, I was alone.

I called out to him, I apologized to him, I begged for forgiveness, I pleaded with him to come back and hurt me one last time.

His final attack had stricken me in a way I never thought possible.

For the first time in forever, with no explanation why,

After years of growing to trust him,

He had left, I was alone.

After all, I loved him.