How Much is too Much

[Dirtydan]

I suppose I ought to preface this by letting everyone know it may be a bit ramble-y and a little incoherent, but I'm curious to see what others have say about vague question of; How much is to much?

 

The obvious answer is more then you want or you can handle, but that isn't the problem, or better put it isn't answering the right question fully. In my time with roleplay I've always tended to try and an cast a wide net. You don't always get responses, or you just don't vibe with the person once you start talking details. I try my best to be accommodating, and step out of comfort zone as long as I'm not stepping past any of my hard limits. How willing are you to do the same? Should you be expected too? I don't have the answer, it depends on personal preference. If you've got too many people trying reach out or start a roleplay, how would you handle it? Explain you are already full, or to busy to take on more partners? Again it will vary from person to person however,  but that line is so blurry and sometimes it's so far away from what others expect of you. The question itself is vague and in my opinion unhelpful to ask in first place, but I still feel myself wrestling with it from time to time. So in short How much is too much? How much of yourself should you be will to give you roleplay partners, and roleplay in general?

[Pixel]

I've always gone by the logic of giving as much as they're willing to give and vice versa. At the same time, it shouldn't be difficult. I tend to ask a lot of questions because not everyone is as specific as I try to be about things, and I really like my details, but "how much" and "too much" are greatly going to vary from person to person. The best partners I've ever had have read my ideas/preferences/etc and played off of what they knew even if it wasn't something I included in description or lore, and I played off of that, and so on.

It's really hard to say and I don't think there is one definitive answer.

[Gangsta Moll Deactivated]

I think you are right that it depends, and as in real life one has to learn each person as the relationship develops, it cannot realistically be predefined: or if it must, then role-playing becomes a contract rather than a developing relationship  - and I think many like it that way, like the rules if a game: which is fine, but is not to my nature.

So for me role play is neither a writing contract nor a game with rules, but a deep though virtual dive into an evolving story: I deliberately say story rather than relationship because the story is what excites, and arouses, me - but the relationship with my co-author has to be discovered and developed and cannot be predefined.

[Gangsta Moll Deactivated]

1 hour ago, Dirtydan said:

I suppose I ought to preface this by letting everyone know it may be a bit ramble-y and a little incoherent, but I'm curious to see what others have say about vague question of; How much is to much?

I should say, by the way, that you have been both a satisfying and intense role play partner and a thoughtful, considerate, adaptable friend here.

[Dirtydan]

46 minutes ago, Pixel said:

I've always gone by the logic of giving as much as they're willing to give and vice versa. At the same time, it shouldn't be difficult.

I'm not trying come as combative just curious. I'm hoping this to be more metaphoric then literal.

So, you've never been under the impression that you or someone else has given to much As long as everthing is equal? I can see an understand that but not everyone's cup is the same size, someone may feel like they are giving all they can does that mean you are required to do the same. 

[Dirtydan]

16 minutes ago, Gangsta Moll said:

I think you are right that it depends, and as in real life one has to learn each person as the relationship develops, it cannot realistically be predefined: or if it must, then role-playing becomes a contract rather than a developing relationship  - and I think many like it that way, like the rules if a game: which is fine, but is not to my nature.

So for me role play is neither a writing contract nor a game with rules, but a deep though virtual dive into an evolving story: I deliberately say story rather than relationship because the story is what excites, and arouses, me - but the relationship with my co-author has to be discovered and developed and cannot be predefined.

I think that the concept of giving a part of oneself be it time, emotional energy, or thought is something that is deeper and hard to predefine under the context of role-play. It becomes multilayered and streches beyhond what you want into what your character wants and occasionally those lines get blurred. To me if you want try and create something with such ridge boundaries it's more in line with wanting someone to play the role of character in your story instead of developing a story together. I think the give and take processs will swing, akin to pendulum in both directions sometimes one will push harder and or try and slow it down. The intresic emotional intensity of some roleplay demands different  things from each partner. I agree that I prefer things to be more fluid, with no distinct right or wrong. The context of the moment both in the story, and in the individual ls life will determine how much they can give, or how much they can give. 

 

Also thank you very much for the compliment. I find the same things in you. I've always enjoyed our times together.

[Kek]

I think it's too much if you mess up your sleep schedule cause of RPs or if you are Roleplaying even when you are not on the mood

[Raelyn]

I struggle with this often. I’m a huge people-pleaser, so when I am not vibing with someone or if I’m not enjoying the role play, I try to push through it. However, I’m trying my best to be more honest. But in a nice and mature way. If people don’t like it, then so be it. Your mental health is more important and you should be enjoying what you love! Not forcing it. 

[Dirtydan]

On 27/06/2023 at 22:43, Raelyn said:

I struggle with this often. I’m a huge people-pleaser, so when I am not vibing with someone or if I’m not enjoying the role play, I try to push through it. However, I’m trying my best to be more honest. But in a nice and mature way. If people don’t like it, then so be it. Your mental health is more important and you should be enjoying what you love! Not forcing it. 

I find myself doing the same thing very often. I've been a people pleaser most of my life. It's only been in recent years were I've come to find a good balance. Their isn't anything wrong with being one so long as you keep yourself grounded in what you can do an what you are comfortable with. Life is to short to focus exclusively on other people happiness at the cost of your own, but their is joy to he found in making other smile ... or cum as is often the case I'm roleplay.

[Raelyn]

5 hours ago, Dirtydan said:

I find myself doing the same thing very often. I've been a people pleaser most of my life. It's only been in recent years were I've come to find a good balance. Their isn't anything wrong with being one so long as you keep yourself grounded in what you can do an what you are comfortable with. Life is to short to focus exclusively on other people happiness at the cost of your own, but their is joy to he found in making other smile ... or cum as is often the case I'm roleplay.

Agreed!!! There needs to be some kind of balance, for sure.

And who would cum during a role play? Silly people... -nervously laughs and looks away- xD