Blowjobs

[IsabellaRose]

It should come as no surprise that I'm a fan of giving oral sex to men. It's something of a skill, perhaps even a bit of innate talent, to be able to do it well. It's obviously more enjoyable for the man, but there's a certain sense of satisfaction and even arousal for the woman, too. I recently posted a couple status updates about a woman who was driven by desperate carnal desire and another about a woman who used a blowjob to get in with a guy and get him to buy her things. I have a couple other versions I've been working on - the inexperienced first timer, the old professional prostitute, and I might even do one about being forced against her will.

I've been thinking about it a lot lately, mostly because I'm in the best relationship I've ever had but it's with a woman and this isn't a thing we can do. I was going to post a question as a status, but I thought this might be a more appropriate forum, and being here, I can ask a lot more questions and hopefully learn a lot more. Plus I might get to hear some great blowjob stories and maybe get a little bit excited.

So, without further ado, I have questions for the recipients of blowjobs among you. Answer as many or as few as you like.

Her Experience

1. Do you think about whether she's actually enjoying it, or does it not cross your mind in the moment?
2. Have you ever asked a woman honestly what it feels like from her side? Would you want to know?
3. Can you tell the difference between a performed moan and a real one? Does it matter?
4. Have you ever been with a woman who clearly didn't want to be doing it but did it anyway? Did that register? Did it change anything?
5. Do you think most women genuinely enjoy giving head, or do you suspect they're performing more than they let on?

Power

1. What goes through your head when you're standing over a woman on her knees about to give you head?
2. Do you feel powerful? Is the power part of the pleasure?
3. Have you ever put your hands on her head? What were you thinking about when you did?
4. Has a woman ever told you to stop or slow down during one? How did you react?
5. Do you think about the vulnerability of her position: on her knees, mouth full, unable to speak?

Transactional

1. Have you ever felt like a blowjob was something you were owed?
2. Have you ever been more generous, giving gifts, attention, or even commitment, after a woman gave you particularly good head?
3. Do you think there's a connection between how good the head was and how you treat a woman afterward?
4. Would you break up with a woman who refused to give blowjobs? Would it be a dealbreaker?

Finishing

1. Do you prefer to finish in her mouth? Why?
2. Does swallowing matter to you? What do you think it means to her?
3. Have you ever thought about what it actually tastes and feels like for her to swallow?
4. Has a woman ever spit it out? How did you feel about it?
5. Do you prefer to finish on her face or body? What's the appeal?

Real vs. Performance

1. What made the best blowjob you've ever had the best? 
2. Was it the physical sensation, or was it something else, like the way she looked at you, the things she said, how she made you feel?
3. Have you ever had a technically skilled blowjob that wasn't as good? What was missing?
4. How much of the pleasure is physical versus psychological?
5. Do you need to feel like she wants it for it to be good?

Comparison

1. Do you rank the women you've been with by how good they were at this?
2. Have you ever told your friends about a specific blowjob? What did you say?
3. Do you think blowjobs are more intimate than intercourse or less?
4. Have you ever had a blowjob that made you fall for someone? Or fall out of love with someone?

First Time

1. Do you remember your first blowjob? What did it feel like?
2. Did you know what to expect?
3. Were you surprised by anything: the warmth, the wetness, the sight of it?
4. Did you feel guilty afterward? Grateful? Both?

Discomfort and Degradation

1. Have you ever held a woman's head down longer than she wanted?
2. Have you ever ignored signs that she was uncomfortable?
3. Have you ever thought about it afterward and felt like you took something?
4. If you could be on your knees in front of someone with their hands on your head, would you want to know what it feels like?
5. Do you think the act is inherently degrading to women?

 

[Blacking Your GF]

Oh, man. There's a lot to cover here. I've "only" been with three women in my life but I'll try to go over all of these since it's an interesting topic.

Her Experience

1. It does. I want her to enjoy it.
2. I haven't asked or imagined it from her side.
3. I think so? A real moan is usually quieter and more subtle. It matters as far as me wanting her enjoyment to be authentic.
4. Kind of but I think there's a difference between not wanting to do it at all and deciding to prioritize your partner's pleasure over your own comfort for a while.
5. I think oral sex in general is more pleasant for the receiver than the giver. The giver might not get much physical pleasure from it but there is always the satisfaction and validation of knowing you got your partner off.

Power

1. Mostly just that she looks pretty on her knees and I'm about to nut.
2. Fa sho', fa sho'. A good blowjob can make a man feel like a king.
3. Yeah. I usually hold the hair back when I put my hands on a woman's head. I think about the quality of her hair, taking control, dominating, deciding the depth and tempo, and drawing out those wet squelchy throat sounds. Seeing the tears and expressions on her face make it feel a bit abusive at times but then I think nah, it can't be abuse if she likes it.
4. Through tapout, yes. I just let go, give her some time to breathe and ask if she's cool.
5. Yeah, I appreciate it as a vulnerable position to be in and try to be respectful of it.

Transactional

1. Not outright but it is implied to be part of the arrangement.
2. Nah. She doesn't have to be particularly good on her knees. I firmly believe that a woman's head game doesn't actually matter much because you can always teach a girl that fucks with you. What matters more is frequent enthusiastic sex which can't be taught. That goes a long way with me when it comes to gifts, dates and commitment.
3. Not at all. Skill in bed is very far down the list of qualities I value in a woman. The gesture, enthusiasm and effort to please are sufficient.
4. Not if there is attraction and vibe and the normal sex is enthusiastic and willing. However, it would become a dealbreaker if it came to light that gave head to an ex.

Finishing

1. I'm 50/50 on finishing in her mouth and finishing on her face. There are benefits to both. See below.
2. Swallowing matters. It's polite and proof of enthusiasm/willingness to please. From her perspective, it's probably an act of total acceptance and submission.
3. Based on what I've heard, I imagine it's salty and bitter. Probably slimy as well.
4. No, but my first gf gagged a bit sometimes. I appreciated her perseverance, hah.
5. Face. I've always been an admirer of female prettiness and the act itself is the ultimate form of making my mark and I guess you could say claiming her.

Real vs. Performance

1. The way that she would mix it up to keep things fresh instead of doing one repetitive motion.
2. Total comfort for both of us, enthusiasm from her, teasing, kissing, licking, smiling, spitting, running her lips along the shaft, sucking, eye contact, dirty talk, slapping the shaft on her face and tongue, including the balls, deepthroating, tears, use of hands and mouth, cock worship and generally making me feel like a king.
3. Yeah, I was with a chick that gave great head but I couldn't be myself with her. Felt like I had to perform a caricature of masculinity.
4. You know what? I'd actually say it's mainly psychological. The pleasure aspect can be achieved with your hand but the psychology of being with someone you vibe with and find attractive makes it far better.
5. I prefer for her to want it but I greatly appreciate if she's prioritizing my pleasure over her own comfort as long as it's willing obviously.

Comparison

1. I guess you could say so but a woman having greater blowjob skill doesn't necessarily mean I will prefer having sex with her and it definitely doesn't mean I prefer her as a person or in a relationship.
2. No lol. When did it become cool to kiss and tell?
3. Slightly less. Intercourse can involve kissing, closer face-to-face eye contact and even pregnancy.
4. No. I try not to catch feelings but the times when I have fallen for someone, it was mainly due to looks and vibe.

First Time

1. Yeah, I remember thinking she was a bit clumsy but it was pleasant overall. I gave some feedback and I nutted in the end.
2. More or less, yeah.
3. Not much other than the amount of teaching I would end up doing.
4. I was satisfied and grateful. Tired as well.

Discomfort and Degradation

1. Yes, although I've always respected the tap.
2. Yes, during facefucking as consent was obtained prior and discomfort was understood to be inevitable.
3. Yes, I believe every sexual encounter leaves a mark and once it's there, it can never be erased.
4. I mean, I've given head to women and experienced the hands in hair and strong-ass thighs if that counts.
5. Yes. Regardless of so-called gender equality, a woman being on her knees before a man will always require a willingness to swallow her pride (among other things). But since most women choose a man that they look up to, it's only natural.

Hope that answers everything. 

Edited Thursday at 07:59 PM by Blacking Your GF

[Spermonator]

Nice topic! I will try to answer as honest as possible to all of your questions. Hopefully you will like what you will read. 

Her Experience

Do you think about whether she's actually enjoying it, or does it not cross your mind in the moment?

Of course, I think about that.  I want her to enjoy it cause otherwise I won't be having an erection at all. It's all pointless to me if this doesn't turns her on.

Have you ever asked a woman honestly what it feels like from her side? Would you want to know?

I have asked a woman once but she didn't gave me a very detailed answer. Which was disappointing. I would want to know very much actually.

Can you tell the difference between a performed moan and a real one? Does it matter?

I can't tell the difference honestly. I wish all moans that she makes were real.

Have you ever been with a woman who clearly didn't want to be doing it but did it anyway? Did that register? Did it change anything?

Maybe like once or twice but it wasn't a big deal since her lack of enthusiasm ruined everything.

Do you think most women genuinely enjoy giving head, or do you suspect they're performing more than they let on?

I don't know really. Maybe some do but the majority is probably just performing just so they can be on a good terms with their partner.

Power

What goes through your head when you're standing over a woman on her knees about to give you head?

That I'm about to dominate her. That she is very submissive position, ready to please me 

Do you feel powerful? Is the power part of the pleasure?

Yes, I feel very powerful in that moment. Power is essential part of the pleasure. I feel like I'm her god, king, lord and she is there to serve me, please me with her soft mouth.

Have you ever put your hands on her head? What were you thinking about when you did?

I have. That I'm encouraging her to keep going and not stop. It's gesture that shows her that I want more.

Has a woman ever told you to stop or slow down during one? How did you react?

Maybe several times. Sometimes I have stopped but there is also rare cases when I delay my stop cause of arousal.

Do you think about the vulnerability of her position: on her knees, mouth full, unable to speak?

Yes, her vulnerable position with her mouth full and on her knees is turning me on. It's like she is depended on my mercy and I decide when she can breath. If she really didn't wanted this, she wouldn't have gotten on her knees for me with her mouth open for me to use.

Transactional

Have you ever felt like a blowjob was something you were owed?

 Absolutely not! I can totally be with her even without a blowjobs.

Have you ever been more generous, giving gifts, attention, or even commitment, after a woman gave you particularly good head?

I have only given cuddles after a good head. Except once when I gave 20 bucks to for pleasuring me with her mouth.

Do you think there's a connection between how good the head was and how you treat a woman afterward?

Yeah, if she gives good head will get more attention and affection from me.

Would you break up with a woman who refused to give blowjobs? Would it be a dealbreaker?

Not at all. I won't be distancing myself from her just because she doesn't want to do it.

Finishing

Do you prefer to finish in her mouth? Why?

It usually she takes it in her mouth. I also love doing it there because it's kind of slutty and humiliating for her.

Does swallowing matter to you? What do you think it means to her?

Maybe she is so horny that she wants it badly. That she is enjoying the whole experience and wants to express that with the act of swallowing.

Have you ever thought about what it actually tastes and feels like for her to swallow?

Yes, I have. Many times in fact.  I have even asked several women what it's like for them to do it.

Has a woman ever spit it out? How did you feel about it?

This is has never happened to me before. I don't mind if she spits it's out.  What is important to me is that my cock was in her mouth.

Do you prefer to finish on her face or body? What's the appeal?

I like cuming on her face but also her body. Usually the woman says where she wants my cumshot.

Real vs. Performance

What made the best blowjob you've ever had the best? 

Her enthusiasm, eagerness and how long it took for her to do it.

Was it the physical sensation, or was it something else, like the way she looked at you, the things she said, how she made you feel?

A combination of all. The way she looked at me and her words. Also the feeling was pretty amazing.

Have you ever had a technically skilled blowjob that wasn't as good? What was missing?

I have. Maybe there was lack of desire on her part to make it better. Basically it was a lazy blowjob.

How much of the pleasure is physical versus psychological?

70% physical and 30% psychological.

Do you need to feel like she wants it for it to be good?

Yes, of course. Without that, I won't be getting much pleasure.

Comparison

Do you rank the women you've been with by how good they were at this? 

Not really. Well maybe a little but there is other factors that contribute to my opinion about how good a woman was when I was being with her.

Have you ever told your friends about a specific blowjob? What did you say?

I don't share much information with others about what I have done with women. When I share however I'm always detailed in what made it good.

Do you think blowjobs are more intimate than intercourse or less?

I don't know. I'm not sure really. Maybe blowjobs are more intimate cause the oral aspect of it. I mean you put something private in someone's mouth. That's pretty intimate.

Have you ever had a blowjob that made you fall for someone? Or fall out of love with someone?

Yes, I have experience with a woman that made totally fall for her. But only that.

First Time

Do you remember your first blowjob? What did it feel like?

I don't remember my first time. It was a long time ago.

Did you know what to expect?

Not really. All this was completely new to me. So I can't say knew anything.

Were you surprised by anything: the warmth, the wetness, the sight of it?

I guess I like it. Otherwise I wouldn't have wanted it more later in life.

Did you feel guilty afterward? Grateful? Both?

Probably both. I don't remember the exact experience, but the first a few times, I felt guilt for doing it and grateful that the girl did. Plus, I felt shame for getting in such activities since I wasn't a very sexual person. There was a little disgust as well for sure.

Discomfort and Degradation

Have you ever held a woman's head down longer than she wanted?

Yes, I have in moment of intense arousal that made me do it. I wanted to choke on it.

Have you ever ignored signs that she was uncomfortable?

I have done it, but again I couldn't help myself since I was way too horny to care...

Have you ever thought about it afterward and felt like you took something?

Yes, I felt guilty and apologized like million times. I was so sorry.

If you could be on your knees in front of someone with their hands on your head, would you want to know what it feels like?

Yeah, I have been wondering about that. I guess I would like to know. 

Do you think the act is inherently degrading to women?

Yes, but that what makes this act so hot. If women didn't liked it, why would they do it? I mean as long as they're not being pressured against their will one way or another, I see no problem. If it's consensual, then they want it for some reason.

[Balthier]

 Her Experience

1. Yes. Now regarding my ex-wife, she had an oral fixation, and greatly enjoyed it. The others I've experienced seemed, at least to enjoy themselves. 
2. No I have not. I am curious at times.
3. I want to say yes. Does it matter? No. Even if it's forced on her part, that shows the amount of effort, and that's sexy. 
4. To my knowledge, I have not.
5. My ex loved it. It would be normal, even while we were just hanging out watching something at time for her to lean over, unzip me and start sucking. Sometimed to completion, sometimes just to get me arroused gor sex. My partner after that, I don't think enjoyed it near as much. Not at first, but really grew into it, and got good over many mmonths. As she got confidence with what she was doing, she seemed to like it more. 

Power

1. This feels right. This is going to be awesome! If the time/situation is right, that she is in her place.
2. Most of the time, now, yes. It was different back with my ex. That oral fixation, knowing she wanted to do it for herself as much as me, made it different some times. But usually the power dynamic is part of it.
3. Yes. Sometimes to help her, sometimes to control her, sometimes just to play with her hair. A lot of times I do what I know my partner(s) likes in this regard. 
4. No. But I would respect my partner.
 5. Yes, I do find her sexy like that.

Transactional

1. I'm thinking back, and honestly can't recall a time I thought I was owed a BJ.
2. Yes. When I had first met my ex, I had not encountered someone so skilled with her mouth and tongue as she was. I remember sitting at my computer back in the early 2000s... she came over, and I went to turn it off, she said to keep in on and keep doing what I was doing. If I recall I was playing Sim City or something. She went under my desk, I got hard as she unzipped my pants, and... fuck  did she have excellent skills. Come to find out ahe really enjoyed being under the desk, distracting like that in the extreme. This encounter changed the course of this relationship, and I was definitely more generous with gifts shortly afterwards. 
3. Probably. There is definitely a respect for the act, and the skill level.
4. No, I'm not that superficial, there's a lot more to relationships. That said, I've never had a relationship in my adult life where she refused.

Finishing

1. Yes. It feels good, I like being inside her somehow.
2. A bit yes. Ex loved to suck me dry and happily swallowed it all. After that, partners would spit. At first. As relationships progressed, they started swallowing. I think it has to do with level of connection. For me and her?
3. No... but, there was this one time. My ex had bought a toy she wanted to try on me. She did, I came hard, and the way she had me pointed, laying on my back, the force of my... expulsion, I ended up giving myself a facial. An embarrassing story, got it in my eye and a little in my mouth. Hilarious looking back on it now.
4. Yes, I thought it was understandable. I still appreciated her, but it wasn't as much of a feeling of connection afterwards. 
5. Either face or tits, if not in her mouth. Face seems like an act of submission on her part, tits, feels more like marking territory. 

Real vs. Performance

1. Telling she was turned on by it, and very into it, most importantly. That combined with skill, eye contact at the right moment, her lips and hands working together. Her lips on the most sensitive part, just past my head, her tongue lickong my head, a hand working the bottom of my shaft, and her other fingers gently stroking the back of my balls. Perfectly executed. 
2. Physical sensation combined with the eagerness, and the look in her eyes, like she wants to do this, or she submits to the will.
3. I had someone into it that didn't really know what she was doing (mostly lesbian), not the other way around. I felt obligated to cum for her efforts despite the lack of technique. It took me a while, but finally got there.
4. Hmmm. I want to say physical at first, but it's probably closer to 50/50.
5. It is absolutely better that way for me.

Comparison

1. Internally, it is known.
2. Not male friends, no. There was however a discussion with some female co-workers...
3. Can be close, though I don't think anything is quite as intimate as vaginal penetration followed by a big creampie. 
4. Yes, see above story. It definitely made me change course with the girl I eventually married, and was happy for a long time. 

First Time

1. Amazing, I was like 20 maybe? I was so into it, I don't think I lasted long her mouth.
2. No, not really. 
3. The sight really turned me on, the feeling, was some kind of... power inbthe situation perhaps?
4. Grateful 

Discomfort and Degradation

1. Nope.
2. Nah, I want her to enjoy it.
3. Not the way I've had it.
4. Never had the urge to experience that. I do wonder what ahe feels like at times. I do like ro understand how a partner feels to make aex better for them too.
5. There is a power balance to it, and perhaps a bit. In my eager ex's case, no, not really, if it was my boss on her knees, most definitely. 
 

Edited yesterday at 01:48 PM by Balthier

[Pixel]

All i know is every woman I've ever been with has a big ego about their BJ skills and they don't have the talent to back it up.

Never had the heart to tell them.

[AJoeOfSubjectiveQuality]

21 hours ago, IsabellaRose said:

With the caveat that I'm probably an outlier:

Her Experience

1. Do you think about whether she's actually enjoying it, or does it not cross your mind in the moment? Nobody physically enjoys giving head, so it comes down to emotion and attitude. If I have to suggest or ask, probably not. But it she knocks me over out of the blue and starts dragging my trousers down, then I'm pretty sure she is.
2.  
3. Have you ever asked a woman honestly what it feels like from her side? Would you want to know? Does it matter any more or less than how I feel when I go down on her?
4.  
5. Can you tell the difference between a performed moan and a real one? Does it matter? If she's not touching herself or having myself or someone else do it then I assume it's fake and a huge turn-off.
6.  
7. Have you ever been with a woman who clearly didn't want to be doing it but did it anyway? Did that register? Did it change anything? No, but I'd stop it immediately.
8.  
9. Do you think most women genuinely enjoy giving head, or do you suspect they're performing more than they let on? The latter at the start, the former when things go from bumping uglies to sharing pleasure.

Power

1. What goes through your head when you're standing over a woman on her knees about to give you head? Sometimes when I let Dom out to play I enjoy the power dynamic,  but mostly gratitude and happiness that my partner wants to do that for me. (Mostly I'd rather do it on a bed; I don't go easily and don't want her knees to start hurting.)
2.  
3. Do you feel powerful? Is the power part of the pleasure? See the above.
4.  
5. Have you ever put your hands on her head? What were you thinking about when you did?Sometimes to play with her hair or to stroke her flesh.
6.  
7. Has a woman ever told you to stop or slow down during one? How did you react? I don't do face fucking.
8.  
9. Do you think about the vulnerability of her position: on her knees, mouth full, unable to speak? Nope.

Transactional

1. Have you ever felt like a blowjob was something you were owed? Never.
2.  
3. Have you ever been more generous, giving gifts, attention, or even commitment, after a woman gave you particularly good head? Yes.
4.  
5. Do you think there's a connection between how good the head was and how you treat a woman afterward? Nope.
6. Would you break up with a woman who refused to give blowjobs? Would it be a dealbreaker? No, but it could be indicative of traits that might be a deal breaker.

Finishing

1. Do you prefer to finish in her mouth? Why? Not prefer, but enjoy when it happens.
2.  
3. Does swallowing matter to you? What do you think it means to her? I get it why some women don't want to, but I like it when they do. Besides, dribbling, spitting, or running to find a tissue kind of dampen the mood. I think it's an indication of trust on her part.
4.  
5. Have you ever thought about what it actually tastes and feels like for her to swallow? I know; my exes sometimes kissed me and swapped cum with me. It was weird at first, but it's not fair to expect a woman to take my seed and be unwilling to do it myself.
6.  
7. Has a woman ever spit it out? How did you feel about it? Spitting is VERY unsexy to me.
8.  
9. Do you prefer to finish on her face or body? What's the appeal? Sometimes I like cumming on her face or boobs, especially if she enjoys it more than not wanting me to finish in her mouth. Hard to explain, but when a woman feels so free and happy that she can enjoy it I feel happy.

Real vs. Performance

1. What made the best blowjob you've ever had the best? She knew how and when to use her teeth.
2.  
3. Was it the physical sensation, or was it something else, like the way she looked at you, the things she said, how she made you feel? Definitely the physical sensation. Getting a bit of pain to snap me out of the sleepy funk makes me enjoy it more.
4.  
5. Have you ever had a technically skilled blowjob that wasn't as good? What was missing? I once visited the Flower Shop in Seoul. Fantastic skills, but she clearly wasn't there of her own volition so that turned me off from the place and the unwilling in general.
6.  
7. How much of the pleasure is physical versus psychological? 50/50.
8.  
9. Do you need to feel like she wants it for it to be good? Yeah, to be honest.

Comparison

1. Do you rank the women you've been with by how good they were at this? No, but I remember the experts more easily.
2.  
3. Have you ever told your friends about a specific blowjob? What did you say? No.
4.  
5. Do you think blowjobs are more intimate than intercourse or less? Definitely more; it's pure giving rather than give/take.
6.  
7. Have you ever had a blowjob that made you fall for someone? Or fall out of love with someone? No; I feel like that's silly.

First Time

1. Do you remember your first blowjob? What did it feel like? Nope.
2. Did you know what to expect? Nope.
3. Were you surprised by anything: the warmth, the wetness, the sight of it? Warmth and wetness, most likely.
4. Did you feel guilty afterward? Grateful? Both? Grateful.

Discomfort and Degradation

1. Have you ever held a woman's head down longer than she wanted? Nope.
2. Have you ever ignored signs that she was uncomfortable? Never
3. Have you ever thought about it afterward and felt like you took something? No.
4. If you could be on your knees in front of someone with their hands on your head, would you want to know what it feels like? Been there, done that with my loves.
5. Do you think the act is inherently degrading to women? Nope.

 

 

[Minorikawa]

So, keeping in mind that I've only one actual partner and the rest of my experience is "simulated" through sex chat/cybersex and forums, this is the best to my ability to answer.

Her Experience

1. Do you think about whether she's actually enjoying it, or does it not cross your mind in the moment?
   Yes, actually, though it depends. At the very least, I want to make sure she's comfortable.
2. Have you ever asked a woman honestly what it feels like from her side? Would you want to know?
   I've asked a few, and found that it varies. For some women, it's complete and utter submission. Some like the feeling of being used. Others, it feels like control, perhaps even a reverse psychology; seeming submissive but really, they're the ones controlling things.
3. Can you tell the difference between a performed moan and a real one? Does it matter?
   Possibly not always, but the more pornographic it sounds the more performed it probably is. Small whimpers, or short, breathy moans come off as more genuine.
4. Have you ever been with a woman who clearly didn't want to be doing it but did it anyway? Did that register? Did it change anything?
   I have not.
5. Do you think most women genuinely enjoy giving head, or do you suspect they're performing more than they let on?
   I think there's a difference between "enjoy giving head" and "enjoy pleasing their partner". It's going to vary and depend on the woman. Some women enjoy pleasing their partner and thus they'll give head, perhaps as foreplay, but others have a sincere enjoyment of the act. And then there are women that never want a dick in their mouth because they think it's dirty (which is more common with Boomer ladies and older, I think).

Power

1. What goes through your head when you're standing over a woman on her knees about to give you head?
   In real life I was on my back, and a lot of first timer virgin thoughts were going through my head. I've actually been surprised how few online partners "want to" or imagine giving head laying down, and instead assume I'm sitting or standing. I don't know if anything in particular crosses my mind from the standing position.
2. Do you feel powerful? Is the power part of the pleasure?
   I don't feel particularly powerful at the idea. Once upon a time I'd jerk off in the shower, and given the wobbliness of my knees the closer I'd approach my limit, the less "power" comes to mind.
3. Have you ever put your hands on her head? What were you thinking about when you did?
   Only simulated, but my instinct is always to comb through her hair affectionately, clearing her face so I can see her, or just to feel that bob of her head as tactile stimulation.
4. Has a woman ever told you to stop or slow down during one? How did you react?
   In my simulated experience, more women have told me to speed up or take control (or just assume I'm taking control) rather than have me slow down.
5. Do you think about the vulnerability of her position: on her knees, mouth full, unable to speak?
   Sort of? On one hand, I prefer minimal talk during a sexual engagement. On the other, the idea of having a casual conversation while being sucked off is hot, so her pulling off to respond to me (be it discussing our day, what we've been watching, whether a movie was good or crap, etc.) is an exciting prospect.

Transactional

1. Have you ever felt like a blowjob was something you were owed?
   Exact opposite. Even digitally, if I have a cybersex partner that enjoys performing the act on me regularly, I start wondering if I'm even worthy. With my girlfriend... well, that's a whole lot of self-esteem baggage which contributed to our inevitable break-up.
2. Have you ever been more generous, giving gifts, attention, or even commitment, after a woman gave you particularly good head?
   Hmm... Yes and no. I need more than just sexual engagement. I do need conversation in some way, to enjoy one another's company. However, it does help me feel... appreciated, and thus I appreciate all the stronger in return.
3. Do you think there's a connection between how good the head was and how you treat a woman afterward?
   In real life, I had mixed feelings. It was half good head, half bad head, but I also didn't last as long as I hoped and felt lousy afterward. But I blamed myself for that. Online, because it's a very, very different dynamic, if it wasn't good then I likely don't want to continue playing with her. However, for certain women, so long as she's a good conversationalist, I enjoy giving in other ways to show my appreciation to her.
4. Would you break up with a woman who refused to give blowjobs? Would it be a dealbreaker?
   I don't know. The prospect of being in a relationship feels so foreign to me that I don't even know if it would be or not. I'd like to say it wouldn't, but... how can I know for sure?

Finishing

1. Do you prefer to finish in her mouth? Why?
   My ex swallowed. I thought I'd be bothered when she kissed me afterward but I wasn't. Mentally, my favorite spot to release is on breasts, stomach, lower back. I'm not big on her swallowing because I've heard enough women describe the taste, and while some say they like it, I feel like it'd be better even to just release on her hands or all over myself.
2. Does swallowing matter to you? What do you think it means to her?
   I've never asked a woman before what it means to her, but I get the feeling that a lot of women enjoy the feeling of swallowing semen or feeling it inside them during intercourse. I'm guessing there's an emotional, chemical, impact, and evidently studies claim that swallowing semen can have mood boosting benefits, but... perhaps that's something I should ask about more.
3. Have you ever thought about what it actually tastes and feels like for her to swallow?
   Oh all the time. I know I wouldn't want to swallow it, so if she doesn't, she doesn't have to.
4. Has a woman ever spit it out? How did you feel about it?
   My ex did not, nor have I ever experienced a woman doing so simulated.
5. Do you prefer to finish on her face or body? What's the appeal?
   I technically half-answered this question, but for the appeal... I don't entirely understand myself. Many of my favorite "targets" are parts of the body I'm attracted to (boobs being obvious, but abdomen and lower back less so), with the face being a mixed deal. On one hand, the face is very important in terms of attraction and even the appeal of watching a woman suck cock, but I'm the kind of doofus that would accidently get some in her eye while trying to avoid it. However, there's something... I would use the term "marked", but I don't think it's just that. If my partner enjoys it, as some (virtual, naturally), have rubbed it into their skin if it was on their breasts or stomach, or wipe it from their cheeks and into their mouth... there's something pleasing about a woman wearing my seed, but it's not a "marked" thing. It's not a "you're now mine" thing.

Real vs. Performance

1. What made the best blowjob you've ever had the best? 
   I mean, in real life, I've only had the one, so... as for online, I'm not sure it's so much just the one blowjob. I'll remember partners or a series of moments. So ten years ago I was part of a chat room that had an Aussie gal that was really good at blowjobs and titty fucking, but I don't remember her prose as much as I remember the connection shared.
2. Was it the physical sensation, or was it something else, like the way she looked at you, the things she said, how she made you feel?
   For cybersex, some of it is prose and way with words. Some of it is the personality she conveys. And sometimes, it's our ability to make things interesting by changing the setting/scene.
3. Have you ever had a technically skilled blowjob that wasn't as good? What was missing?
   My ex had no gag reflex that she used well (I guess (I'm average so I dunno whether that matters compared to THE ALMIGHTY ABSURDLY SIZED PORNO DICK)), but it felt like that was the only part she know how to do well. Granted, it could just be that blowjobs are highly over-rated and I only have the one experience to reference. Online, though, there are a lot of women that get lost in the emotional sensations they're experiencing, but tell me nothing about what their tongue, lips, throat, or hands are doing. That's where I feel I have nothing to react to.
4. How much of the pleasure is physical versus psychological?
   It's both. Don't ask me for a percentage. I mean, 99% of my experience is imaginary so technically psychological, so...
5. Do you need to feel like she wants it for it to be good?
   This is an odd question. It's very rare you can be good at something you don't enjoy. But, if she doesn't enjoy it, then can I really enjoy it? What's the point if she's not having a good time?

Comparison

1. Do you rank the women you've been with by how good they were at this?
   I don't think so. I've had women that are definitely better at it than others (in terms of writing, at least?) but their personalities just don't gel as well with mine.
2. Have you ever told your friends about a specific blowjob? What did you say?
   Very few people even know my ex and I went down on one another. As far as the world is concerned I've never experienced anything sexual.
3. Do you think blowjobs are more intimate than intercourse or less?
   Yes and no. There's something about a woman wanting to put her mouth on my most sensitive (and let's face it, not very attractive) organ, and to work purely towards my pleasure. For her to want to do that, she has to have positive feelings towards me, and that means a lot. On the other hand, there's something very casual about it, or potentially casual, that allows for explicit discrete interaction (blowjob in the stairwell, quickie in the changing room, etc.) that belies the notion of intimacy and is more just casual sexin', no strings attached. While technically intercourse can be that as well, it's a physical connection and is more "bodily", and where both individual's pleasure matters.
4. Have you ever had a blowjob that made you fall for someone? Or fall out of love with someone?
   In terms of online interaction, I didn't fall for someone, but I definitely wanted to spend more time with them (and perhaps get repeat performances).

First Time

1. Do you remember your first blowjob? What did it feel like?
   Yes. Aside from a LOT of self-conscious thoughts and nervousness that likely impacted how long I lasted, I remember thinking "Is... is this it?" as it didn't really feel like anything. It wasn't until she dove down and curved her head in rapid strokes with her tongue/throat (my eyes were closed, didn't watch) that I felt some serious pleasure. That's what brought me to release, so... I have mixed feelings.
2. Did you know what to expect?
   No. Or at least, it was different.
3. Were you surprised by anything: the warmth, the wetness, the sight of it?
   Those rapid movements really hit my frenulum, so that came as a shock. Basically, I was expecting something more like spitting in my hand and jerking off than what I got.
4. Did you feel guilty afterward? Grateful? Both?
   I feel guilty now because, though I evidently was good at cunnilingus, I didn't go long enough to bring her to climax and here I didn't last very long before spilling into her mouth. I still remember looking up from her sex and watching her grab a pillow to cover her face to gasp and moan into, her body writhing as my tongue teased her clit, and yet for some reason I stopped like "Alright your turn". Selfish of me.

Discomfort and Degradation

1. Have you ever held a woman's head down longer than she wanted?
   I used to be uncomfortable with women gagging. Technically I still am when watching porn. I don't like videos where women are choking themselves on dick. In cybersex and roleplay, I've learned to be comfortable writing holding a woman's head down, but it's not something where I'd want to do so longer than she can manage or enjoy.
2. Have you ever ignored signs that she was uncomfortable?
   On the contrary, I used to tell women in cybersex that they don't have to deepthroat if it makes them gag, and they'd just ignore this suggestion and do it anyway. In hindsight, some of those might have been men posing as women. Either way, with new partners, if they don't initiate it themselves, I'll test the waters with some bucking. In real life, I clearly have no experience with this.
3. Have you ever thought about it afterward and felt like you took something?
   It's not really been something online. The closest was usually because a woman was intentionally being a bitch leading me one way in private, only to then publicly go the opposite to make me look like scum.
4. If you could be on your knees in front of someone with their hands on your head, would you want to know what it feels like?
   Going down on a woman standing up is an unusual position, but I love the feeling of a woman's fingers in my hair. I feel like I'd ruin her composure, so it wouldn't feel like degradation. Face sitting is more the degrading equivalent, but that also just seems inefficient to me. I wouldn't be able to perform well in that position, I don't think.
5. Do you think the act is inherently degrading to women?
   No, not inherently. I mean, her teeth is capable of biting my dick or nuts off at any time. It's incredibly vulnerable to me. However, I'm oblivious to the other implications, especially as, for a while, I couldn't find a single decent partner since they all practically wanted a skull fucking and to me that's not a blowjob. You can't pride yourself on sucking dick if you just sit there getting a dick jammed in your throat. I guess you could say I'm not a fan of the women (presumably) that just want that. So, I guess in terms of sex in general, it's important to me that the woman wants it, too.

Edited 6 hours ago by Minorikawa