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Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, the day has finally come at long last. We've come a long way, from beginnings on Tutorial Island to ending up in a number of bad situations on Poni Island that we managed to pull out of through sheer luck and amazing strategy. Now, we stand at the top of Mount Lanakila, where Kukui the Conqueror and his generals wait for us. Before we jump into the final battles, how about we take a look at the team we will be bringing in for Operation Ultra Conquest.
When you think about it, without you, the readers, we wouldn't have probably made it this far. So, what I did with this team is take any team members that were either recommended or given nickname suggestions and put them on the conquest team. Two were personal picks of my own to handle threats, and since Master Derp is the leader, I just had to take him, even if he doesn't do much of anything. I mean, he can always be useful for any pesky Flying types and possibly Olivia. The Third is also just kinda here, but he makes sure we don't lose to Electric types. I mean, we can hope they don't die, right?
For now, let's not talk about death. Let's make our way forward...and meet up with Kukui in front of a place. Even on a freezing cold mountain, this man is still not wearing a shirt. I mean, if he wants to freeze to death, then taking over as conqueror of Alola is as good as sealed. Kukui gives us his backstory on how he went to the Indigo Plateau and he mentions "a dragon user in a cape." I wonder who that could be. Sadly, we never find out what this mysterious caped Dragon user told him. Probably ways to destroy me. With that flavor text aside, once we head inside, there's no leaving until we either win or lose. The moment of truth is here, so let's do it.
Steel, Rock, Ghost, and...Flying? These are the four types we're dealing with, and I made sure to prepare my team for them. Since this is a generation after 4 and not a remake of a Hoenn game, we have the free will to choose whoever we want to fight first. To be honest, the Ghost battle is going to be the easiest since I have Shadow to hard wall the whole team, so I think we'll start with Steel and go from there.
So, first up on our hitlist is the guy we met back at Hokulani Observatory, Molayne. This would explain that one thing he had mentioned earlier in the game. In the original games, you would've already fought him, but not here. Now, he's the first obstacle standing between me and my rightful throne. Let's do it.
Each Elite Four member has a team of five, all of them with a Z-move waiting in the back. I specifically overleveled in case some disaster happens and my original plan gets derailed. But anyway, Molayne leads with a Klefki. I could've used The Third, but odds are likely this thing has Prankster, so it's non attacking moves would have priority anyway, so I led with Master Derp in hopes of luring out Magnezone once Klefki goes down. Even with Quick Claw, Prankster has higher priority, so Klefki was able to get a layer of Spikes up before a Scald. Oh, and believe it or not, I got a turn one burn, which is something that normally never happens due to my bad luck. Master Derp swallowed the crit Flash Cannon, but of course, Klefki lives on a sliver of health even after the burn, and cue the Full Restore. Since I'm not playing those kinds of games, I just used one of my 32 Roto Boosts to help speed up killing this thing.
But of course, the Kelfki just has to have Thunder Wave. A shame I burned it again with Scald. It's second Flash Cannon did absolutely nothing and down goes the keys. As expected, my plan worked and the Magnezone was coming up next, so now it's time for The Third to do his one job, and that's kill Electric types. Instead of just going right for Earthquake, I had the feeling this thing had Sturdy and would shrug off one hit, so I went instead for Mud-Slap, which I still have on The Third for some unknown reason. Oh well, it helped me kill the Magnezone faster. After that, this man throws in a Metagross. Of course he has one of these, but I have Master Derp and Shadow Ball on my side. I'm also pretty sure this thing has no options for Slowbro. As expected, it didn't have any options and goes for Meteor Mash...and crits on the first hit just like the Klefki with Flash Cannon. Is this the Cursed Specs curse kicking in or something? While I took the chance to heal Master Derp, Molayne switches his Metagross out for Bisharp. This derailed my plans a bit, forcing me to change strategies and bring in Shadow to tank whatever it wants to do to me...which was just Metal Sound.
The Bisharp has X-Scissor, which is very dangerous and bad news for Shadow, but he still ate it and threw up a Confuse Ray. Now that I knew this Bisharp could fight off both Shadow and Master Derp, I got Shadow the heck out of there and brought in Blue Shrimp for some Intimidate action...except this Bisharp has Defiant, because of course it does. The switch game continued, forcing me to bring in Styles, but this Bisharp is now +1 with deadly attacks and nothing I can do to stop it at the moment. After a bit of thinking, the plan changed to bringing in Capt. Keys to hopefully tank a hit...but of course not, because the Bisharp goes right for Iron Head and kills him instantly. Welp, so much for a deathless run and my Fairy type.
The Third was my only option, so I sent him in and one Earthquake sent the Bisharp packing. With that massive threat gone, Metagross came back for another round with Master Derp, and with the power of Quick Claw and a crit, Master Derp brought down Metagross with no problem. Last but not least was his ace, an Alolan Dugtrio...that has a Steelium Z, Earthquake, and Fissure. I had Blue Shrimp for the main purpose of walling it's options of Earthquake and Fissure, so it would be forced to spam Iron Head. For extra safety, I chose to use an X Defend on Blue Shrimp to increase his survivability. Yes, I have no shame in using X Items if the game is going to be using Z-moves on me. The Dugtrio tried to Sucker Punch, giving me a chance to set up a Dragon Dance, but when I did attack, of course he crit me on the first hit. After that little mess, all it took was an Ice Fang and a Crunch to close this mess of a battle.
Well, this kinda sucks. We're only one battle in and we're down one member. You can already tell this is going to be a bad time. Anyway, with one battle down, we still have three left, so no time to lick our wounds or mourn Capt. Keys. Since we're saving the Ghost battle for last since it's going to be a slow, stall fest, let's go and face the Flying type member...not like it matters much because they're likely the most irrelevant character in the game.
Look what we got here, that super irrelevant person who's only purpose before now was only to randomly show you the pose for the Flyinium Z. Now...she's an Elite Four member. Wow, Kukui, you don't let Hala into the fold, but you pick some irrelevant golfer? You really should've picked someone better for this job, to be honest. Say hello to Kahili...she's a person. Ok, let's be realistic here, her only real role in this entire game is just to be an Elite Four member and nothing else. The whole Flyinium Z fiasco is only in Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon, I believe, but there's no time to check, because it's battle time.
Anyway, Khaili leads with a Braviary. I chose to start off with Blue Shrimp to get that nice Attack drop at the start before switching him out for Master Derp, who can take a physical hit...unless the bot's record of critting every third attack continues. Before this battle, I replaced Shadow Ball with Ice Beam since we won't be needing Shadow Ball anymore for the rest of the Elite Four. Anyway, this Braviary loves to spam Brave Bird, and of course he managed to live an Ice Beam because of course he did. Cue the ever annoying Full Restore while I take the chance to heal myself. Quick Claw comes through for me the next turn, but I still don't kill this stupid bird while it continues to spam Brave Bird. Eventually, we deal with it, but now the next mon is on the way, a Hawlucha. This thing was a pain to prepare for in teambuilding since so many things I wanted to use lost to it. It also has a Dark move, because of course it does.
It managed to outspeed, and cue the bot's luck of statuses turn 1 by poisoning with Poison Jab right away. Nice luck the bot has, I swear. Wish I had some of that. With two Ice Fangs, though, the Hawlucha is finished. A shame that he kinda poisoned my Gyarados turn 1. Next up is Braviary's bulky cousin, Mandibuzz. I took advantage of Shadow's bulk and general ability to stall, and yes, that means an X Defend so it can't kill me as fast. The dumb thing has Flatter to confuse Shadow, but I'm more focused on some mid battle heals while this Mandibuzz does what Braviary does, and that's more Brave Bird spam. A shame that a +2 Umbreon with Leftovers just eats those hits up.
With the party all healed, all that remains is to deal with the problem, and we do that with some old fashioned Toxic stalling with a side helping of Confuse Ray. Meanwhile, I've gotten crit twice in a row. Gotta love this bot luck, am I right? At the end of the day, the Mandibuzz still goes down, though. Next up is her ace, a Toucannon. It's slow, but has a Z-crystal, so I should honestly be a little scared. I chose to press my luck and heal to see if I could live the Supersonic Skystrike at +2. Shadow managed to take it with ease. After that, we have another round of the same treatment, stall the Toucannon to death. Through the almighty power of stall, the Toucannon didn't stand a chance. All that remains is an Oricorio. Yes, an Oricorio. Not a Skarmory. An Oricorio of all things. Even worse, it's quad weak to Rock. She calls herself an Elite Four member, yet carries no coverage outside of Hawlucha for a situation like this. I knew she was irrelevant, but dumb too? Wow. Even with Teeter Dance, it died instantly. Such a terrible Elite Four member, letting two of your mons die to Toxic stall. Well, one more member is going to have it much worse, let me tell you.
So that wasn't so bad compared to Molayne, but at least he had relevance, even if it was minor. Anyway, we're halfway there. I think things have gone well so far, but our next fight will likely be the hardest one yet. It's time to have another showdown with a familiar someone, and considering there's a Rock type user here, I think it's pretty obvious who it is I'm referring to. For anyone who guessed Olivia, you deserve a cookie. Will this be her salty runback or will I blow her back once again? Only one way to find out.
Olivia has some new additions to her team from our last encounter, but three of her members are mostly the same. She still has that Lycanroc, and now her Anorith and Lileep have evolved. For now, she starts off with her Armaldo. Since my original plan of using Capt. Keys for this battle was derailed, I had to lead with The Third. Two Iron Heads made quick work of Armaldo. Next up was her Probopass. If this is the same one that yelled at me earlier in the game, I'm going to take great pleasure in crushing it. Master Derp was the play here, and with Quick Claw, we got a first strike...not that it did much. While I tried fishing for burns, the Probopass throws up a Thunder Wave to paralyze Master Derp. The moment I do manage to get a burn, however, not only does it not kill because of Sandstorm, but now Olivia will take the chance to heal up. I took the chance to use a Roto Boost or two in the meantime to prepare for the eventual Cradily, then throw on a Full Restore while the Probopass sets the sandstorm back up.
I chose to wait for the sandstorm to end before finishing off Probopass and preparing for the incoming Cradily. With three Roto Boosts up, despite being paralyzed, the Cradily didn't last a moment. Up next is the threat itself, the Lycanroc. I had three Roto Boosts, but for safety, I used an X Defend to garentee I survive the Continental Crush that was very likely coming...or it can just go for Crunch. Ok, whatever. We take those. It only used Crunch, and with all the Defense boosts Master Derp had, the Lycanroc didn't stand a chance. All that remained was a Gigalith, and let's just say...it died. Plain and simple. It revealed Sand Stream upon coming in, so...yeah, it died. Instantly. A shame, really. Oh well. All that remains is the Ghost type member, and let's be real here, I already said how this is going to end.
So, Acerola is the last member. Why is this honestly not very surprising? She's only here because Nanu refused to be a part of the Elite Four, after all. Anyway, here's how we win...we Toxic stall everything that isn't her lead, which is a Banette. I have a hungry Blue Shrimp, who cleaned up that Banette with a single Crunch. So...next is a Froslass. The Third needs more action, so I sent him in...only for the Froslass to outspeed him, then die instantly to an Iron Head because all it did was use Confuse Ray. With those two down, Acerola is already sending in the big guns, and by that, I mean her ace, a Palossand. This is where Shadow comes to shine, with a nice, clean helping of Toxic stall. This thing has Iron Defense, but it hardly matters when it'll die a slow death from poison.
So...that took an eternity. She used both of her Full Restores on this fat thing. Anyway, it's finally over, so next is a Dhelmise. Same strategy applies here, so a Toxic stalling fun time. All that remains is a Drifblim...that only has one offensive move, and it's a Ghost move, so Styles actually hard walls it. Sure, it had Aftermath, but it's offensive options actually didn't even exist because Ghost move. Well then...that sure was easy. Two mons stalled to death, two instakilled, and a useless Drifblim. Acerola was the easiest one without a doubt. With all four of Kukui's Generals dealt with, Kukui must've gotten scared and run off because he's not in the center of the main room anymore. Well, I'm going to get the team ready, because the final battle is close at hand.
Through the final teleporter, our throne awaits us. We've made it, boys and girls. Our mission is...well, of course, we're not done. We need to defeat the original conqueror, Kukui himself.
Or not. Believe it or not, Hau is the last thing standing between us and conquest of Alola. If he wants a fight, I'll give him one. Oh, and the music. We can't forget that. This is a solid track.
Ok, gushing about music aside, let's get to the action. He's going to lead with the abomination known as Alolan Raichu. Ok, let me go off topic for a second and talk about my teambuilding process. This Alolan Raichu alone was most of the cause of my teambuilding troubles. It hits like a truck and has Focus Blast, so most of my options lost to it one way or another. I chose Shadow and Mantine Surf grinded BP to get EV raising items to boost his Special Defense so he could hopefully tank a Focus Blast. Without Shadow, it's very likely I could just outright lose to Alolan Raichu.
Anyway, speaking of Special Defense, you know those X items I have? Yeah, I'm using them. With one X Sp. Def, Shadow tanked a Focus Blast pretty well. The second one, however, lowered Shadow's Special Defense, which could be bad news for me. I still got the Toxic off and he's got 3 Focus Blasts left. He actually ended up landing all five Focus Blasts without a single miss. If that was me, I'd miss at least half of those. Nice unfair methods you got there, bot. Anyway, next on our threat list is Tauros, which is part of the reason why I brought along Blue Shrimp. This thing has Earthquake and some deadly physical moves, so Intimidate will play a huge role. His Tauros also had Intimidate, though. I chose to play the switch game and send in Styles to eat a hit so I could bring Blue Shrimp back in later for another Intimidate. Styles did what he did best and used Baby-Doll Eyes to lower the Tauros' attack even more before I threw up the Cotton Guard, a couple of X Speeds, an X Attack, and a Dire Hit for good measure before going to town on the Tauros.
Next is his Eeveelution, which in his case, is a Vaporeon. I want Styles to have some action, so I kept him in for his signature Headbutt to completely erase the Vaporeon. After Vaporeon, Crabominable came for his chance at getting a signature Headbutt from Styles, and he was feeling generous today, so he delivered, but didn't manage to kill. Sure, it gave Hau a chance to heal...until the second one didn't kill either. Two crits, and neither one killed. Luckily, third time's the charm. With those two aside, his starter is next. I didn't have any real option but to stay in and prepare for the incoming Bloom Doom...or Styles could instakill the Decidueye because crits and bad Defense. All that remains is his Noivern, which managed to take Styles' signature Headbutt. Since Styles was feeling generous, he offered his not so signature Bite to finish the job. A bit anticlimactic because I was using X items, but...I never made a rule against using them. Plus...I really don't care at this point. It was "abuse X items" or "get destroyed at some point by something." I chose the former.
But does the method I used to win really matter? Had I not restricted Z-moves, I'd be abusing those instead. It's all Nintendo's fault they buffed X items. But, that's not important. We are the new conqueror of the Alola region, and without the support of the reading public, I doubt I'd even be writing this and posting it. From the lurkers who kinda skim through because Pokemon doesn't really interest them to those who have been with our road to conquest since our humble beginnings on Tutorial Island. You, the readers, are the real MVPs here.
Right now, we have a party to attend. Lillie will be invited too. At least there's more people at this celebration than the one from the start of the game. Sadly, Olivia invited that Probopass. I still have nightmares when that damn thing yelled at me for no good reason. I was glad to blow it up with Master Derp. Even Gladion the Edgelord showed up to my celebration, even though he was hiding. Meanwhile, Guzma is killing Team Skull and going off to do...whatever. Dexio and Sina are...looking at a rock. Also, Zygarde just minding his own business in a cave somewhere. Meanwhile, the Ultra Recon Squad is talking with the best character in the game, also known as Colress. Ah, Colress...
I-I mean, pose time. Ultimate pose time...with Mina off on her own while Gladion is off to do...edgy things, I think. There's no dialogue during this credits sequence, and now the Aether Foundation employees are waving him goodbye along with Good Person Lusamine in the distance. As for everyone else, it's off to Tapu Koko's shrine past the super new bridge they built. At least we don't have to fight Tapu Koko at the end in this game.
We even get a fireworks show, which is pretty nice. So, with that, it's over. The last credits sequence will roll and then that's it. We came a long way to reach this ending, and a number of team members met their ends to help us reach this point. Sadly, that's just how it goes sometimes. Although, before we get into the end of the end...something feels a little off. I feel like there's a loose end that hasn't been tied up. We never did find out the cause of those weird glitches and the changes to my writing during the Aether Foundation episode. Something about it all seems a little...
Wait a second, something else isn't right. Normally, this would be the part where, if I pursued this line of questioning, I'd be cut off and put back onto the main topic. Oh well. I guess whatever was causing it stopped on it's own, and that's fine by me. It's one less problem to worry about. Now that we've dealt with what we needed to, we can close the curtain on this project. Ahem...
"And so, after a long, harsh journey, the reign of terror of Kukui the Cuck Lord was brought to an end by a brave maiden. Alola would be led into a new age of peace, free from the tyrant's reign, but little did the young girl Ruby know, or the one controlling her behind the scenes, Kukui does not take a loss sitting down. Even now, he watches and waits for the new champion to slip up so he can sink his claws into a new plan and attempt to take over not just Alola, but the entire world while living under the guise of a normal professor. At the same time, the secret identity of the famous Masked Royal has yet to be revealed, but maybe it's better if we never find out who that is. For now, let the people of Alola enjoy their peace...while it lasts."