other creative writing Jenny's Totally Serious Reviews!

[JennyDK]

So you probably thought this was dead, right? That there would be no more reviews of the spectacular and thorough kind.
Wrong. Very wrong. I do indeed intend to do my duty and deliver the sort of proper and thought out critiques you rarily see.
So I hope you will sit back, grab a snack, enjoy and maybe even learn a thing or two as we get into into another of "Jenny's Totally Serious Reviews!".
Today's art piece:

1: First of all, we see some fruits near where the copulation is happening. This is extremely bad hygiene and kind of gross as well. Why would you expunge bodily fluids near your food?
It seems like a household where they slack off on proper cleanliness and hygiene, so that is most likely the case, if they cannot even comprehend how to keep food wares away from dirty sources. 2: We can clearly see physical and live fire near the curtains. This is of course a major no-no in terms of safety and risk of property damage. Whilst we examine the image closer, we see no signs of smoke detectors or fire extinguishers. So this is basically a death trap waiting to happen very soon. The amount of things that can catch on fire will make this a fiery doom for all in there.
3: The males in the images are all pretty much "anonymous", with no heads to tell them apart from each other. This is obviously the artist thinking men are nothing but meaty playthings where identity, feelings, wishes and personality has no place or role for these males. They are reduced to mere sexual objects for the women's desires and needs. For shame!
4: As a curator and expert on various time eras, architecture and indoor decorating through various time periods, I can tell you that this is a big mess. The sort of interior design has no connection with the furnishing and overall aestethics. The styles are all mashed together into a jumble of a scene. Hard does any two elements match together. For instance, these sort of curtains would never be seen with the types of columns that keep the room up. The lanterns also would belong to an entirely third era. There is zero research done in order to keep it consistent. Very, very sloppy work.

In conclusion I find this art piece to be very lazy in many ways and it definitely has a few issues in other areas. The objectification of males, the carelessness in the hygiene depart and many other minor issues (not all discussed above as there were bigger issues to address) that all add up to a complete and utter mess. The viewer will surely be very confused and annoyed at all of the inconsistencies within the choices made for interior design and other parts of such and I can of course understand that completely. What we see here is just an utter disrespect for other artists who knows that the viewer deserves and needs that proper design, research and many other considerations be put into the most miniscule part of an image.
I give this atrocity: 4,636276 fruit platters out of 3194,25317 off-shore oil platforms.

[JennyDK]

  Hello and good Sunday to you all.
It has been ages since I last made a new "Jenny's Totally Serious Reviews!" and to show it has not passed away, I will still make more when I can.
They are great fun to produce and of course it is a very good to teach you guys to make very accurate, precise and focused critique of art!

This will be our art piece for this time:

1: Right off the bat this contact with rodent like creatures is extremely unsanitary as they are riddled with diseases and filth as we clearly know from biology. So this man is either seeking death by multiple horrible diseases or is completely ignorant of these sorts of things. Therefore we can conclude that we either have a suicide in the making here or an artist using a poor ignorant person's lack of knowledge to make basically snuff porn. Absolutely vile!
2: Yet again we must bear witness to an artist who little to no regard for important lore facts. The three female Skavens depicted here are clearly and obviously descendants from various Great Clans and if anyone knows anything about them, is that they never get along (even amongst themselves) and thus a union as seen above is fully out of the question and would never ever happen. Artists: Do your research or we will point out such major flaws!
3: Having live flames near a place where there is motioned movements is a recipe for disaster. Once more I must bring forth the question whether or not this man wishes to actively die, as this obvious fire hazard further points to how the man either is borderline retarded or if he wants him and his bed companions to die an agonizing and horrible fiery death! I think the evidence stacks up and speaks for itself!
4: Of course, we also need to look at the symbolism present and again it is something we cannot and should not agree with. Humanity, represented by a human is obviously mating with rats (representing nature) and we are able to see how this artist see humans and nature not existing in peace, but rather how they want both entities to die a simultaneous and gruesome end. Either through humanity dooming itself and nature through violating nature its selfish use and abuse or by a cataclysmic event such as total fiery doom! We must stand up and unite against such despicable intentions!

While the art here does not have a lot of points to be made around it, the ones it does get into are vile, macabre and downright sick. I think it's clear and safe to say that the artist here is a revolting and downright malicious and hellbent person who can only see destruction and doom for everything on this planet. We must never let such deplorable beings set any sort of standard for human decency, ethics and mindset.
I rate this art piece: 2,5305 Skavens out of 3109,80327 canteloupes.

 

[JennyDK]

So, it has been forever since you last saw any new updates and for that I am sorry.
I think I might have gotten discouraged from the lack of feedback to my last few reviews.
Still, I hope to both bring you proper and award winning art critique skills and observations.
Now, onto what you and I are actually here for: "Jenny's Totally Serious Reviews!".
We are not stopping doing the most well researched, thought out and professional skill, that asks all the right questions and points out all important!
The art piece for this time:

1: Right off the bat, we see three characters, all of them with different helmets. Scholars of the Nordic culture will know that none of these would ever be able to interact in any sort of friendly manner and yet we are to believe that such a thing not only can, but has occured. This is clearly either badly researched or it is an attempt to whitewash over the animosity between groups within this culture and it shows how little respect there is given to any of them. You pick which one you think applies - I certainly have.
2: The hand of the man on the right bears a ring, which appears to be a wedding ring from the looks of it. Jewelry for men from that era from that culture would never include such a trinket and certainly nothing like a wedding ring. Mocking and misrepresenting Nordic folks is simply going on in multiple places the more look at this art. Furthermore, the grip he has seems to show him being left handed. Everyone with even a small knowledge of their ways, would be aware of how such individuals would be put to death for clearly not being born the right way and at best never be given any sort of honour or get to go in battle.
3: As seen from above, there are two things shown clearly: 1) a knife being turned downwards and 2) a hand depicting the "peace symbol" most associated with modern day hippie culture. So we both have a clash of interest (peace and war) and a clash of culture (old nordic combat and modern day symbolism). The artist clearly is so clusterbrained that they cannot decide which symbolism to go with or they just don't give a damn about showing any modicum of consistency within their work. In either case, it is just a travesity and once more shows how little care to details this person had.
4: The man on the left has a symbol painted onto his front and while the untrained and ill researched person cannot make it out, one like me can quickly determine what it is and means. This symbol clearly and undoubtedly resembles what is closest to the term we call "longboats". OF course, these vessels are very famous in Viking culture and history, but the particular tribe this man hails from, travelled more by foot and thus it is both odd and misplaced to give his chest such a symbol. Clearly, little care was given to him as well.

Overall, we can say that this art piece shows how the artist had no idea at all what sort of message or symbolism they wanted to express. Every detail they could have tried to get right and respectful of viking culture is completely botched and misused. Nothing is consistent at all and even if there was some, they would likely would still have gotten things completely wrong in other ways. This is another example of an artist who more than likely was just doing it for their pay check with no regard for proper research or representation of what they aim to depict.
I give this artistic version of urin soaked garbage: 1,3724 swords out of 2596,31637 rib eye steaks.