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lVergill

Vergil's Turmoil

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lVergill

 

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Where do I start with this....making @PixelBoi worry of me from the very beginning, @Yuuto Hiroshige not wanting to take my responsibility since I sort of force him, and @SMFoxy for noticing my little change. I was confident I was going to leaving here without being noticed but I guess not...

Let's see, let's start at the beginning of my life where everything major occurs and the start of my hidden problem that I hide from everyone due to personal reason but, Ypu are all like family now so I don't need to be lying anymore. During 5fth grade, I was a rather popular kid back then and like now, I had a keen for making quick friend since I do enjoy listening to other's people problems which cause me to be apart of someone's life. Days pass by as I reach the end of the year, I had a crush on a girl who was kind and sweet to others which got my attention. Nevertheless, I remain patient until she confesses her love to me since I didn't know her true feeling and I was sort of happy being with her but, one day was different and sad compare the others. The last two week of elementary school, one boy who was sort of popular confess his love to her and she actually accepts him, not me. How did I know this? I don't know, that particular memory was fuzzy since I spend all day and night crying about it. It was painful, I endure such sadness during my last day there and put a fake smile every day while crying about it every night since I felt pain from seeing them together. So, I move away from that place and thankfully, all of my old friends weren't going to chase me as I didn't say goodbye to her since I couldn't handle her right now, emotionless and heartbroken. In the end, I move to a different place and into a new school with a new fresh start in middle school but the pain still lingers on regardless. 

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During my 7th, I decided to give a try to make new friends which I do since I had a few from the start and they were all nice to me as I try my best to forget the past. Once again, I fall in love with a different girl in this school who had a childhood friend from what I hear from my friends and I started to feel something new, something I never felt before during my childhood, jealousy. I didn't understand that emotion very well since I felt a bit uncomfortable with seeing them together and making not think straight which will be my downfall later on. After a long hardship to get understand her, I somehow manage to screw it up by suddenly fighting his childhood friend for some reason since I watch him flirting with another girl which cause me to completely lose my calm composure. We fought outside of the school which got attention by the student and teacher walking by, even so, the fight ended with a victor, me. Unluckily for me, she was watching the whole fight and rush to his aid since we did go all out and while me having a sore eye and bruise. I felt pain once more, I flee the school as I angrily hate myself for and keep myself locked up in my room until school got up to me eventually. Sadly, I didn't have the luxury to move to another town this time and have to endure two years of avoiding her and him while pretending to be okay. 

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Now we reach high school, my freshmen year was a difficult time since I had two strikes with love and being hurt by it, strangely, I decide to give it one last try. Three strikes and you are out as they say. Making friends in the same years was rather easy for me and while making some older friends due to some circumstance which was fine but I did avoid any older girl since of my recent mistakes. Sadly, I did fall in love with a freshmen girl which was sort of relief and also not since I felt a bit of afraid this time around of being hurt. Month pass by as we goof around together as we slowly build our relationship but somehow, I decide to cut our relationship which she cries about it. Even I avoid hurting her, I still did anyways with me breaking with her and scared of hurting her even more with my jealousy or past mistake. I became a Sophomore and she moves into a different place, that was it for me. During this time, I gave up making any more friends since I will eventually find love which only causes the both of us to get hurt. I remain cold silent and pretending to be a person I wasn't while holding back the desire to make a friend through all of my high schools, three years of agonizing pain. 

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Now, we move to the present day, where I find EcchiDreams as I was curious about RP since I didn't know much about it and I was green. I made an account here and saw people here talking any other place out there while me hesitating to even speak with anyone. That change when I spoke to @SMFoxy and @Neptune I realized I could finally set my real personality free without the need of being afraid. Despite that little overconfidence, I fell jealous with a specific friend and apologize to her for my mistake as always, strangely, we both apologized for something that wasn't clearly her fault. So, this doubt began to grow since I feel like I could screw this place up badly and yet...I don't want to leave after seeing people blocking the door from me, the luxury of moving away (aka, leaving here) was always my escape from my own problem since I always look for that escape during hardship.

Now, I don't know what to do next since I was so confident on leaving here and even so, I am still here... waiting for an impossible answer since I really do like this place...this family...this new home I made for my self..

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PixelBoi

I finally understand a little more. If you want to talk about it, you know I'm here.

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lVergill

....yeah

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Yuuto Hiroshige

I don’t ever judge someone from their past, for one can always change no matter what. I am so glad you came to open up with your family here.

Still, I don’t care what you may think that you did wrong. Vergil nii-san now and forever you my bro. You the very motivation for me to continue on here, a place like you I finally found a place where I can be myself. If you are gone, whatever reminds me in myself of you will make me cry by day by day knowing that you are gone and if that were to happen idk if I could ever see you again.

Dont run away.....please ;_; (but I can’t stop you...) :,(

Edited by Yuuto Hiroshige
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lVergill

Thanks Yuu...

I wish, I wasn't so afraid.

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Yuuto Hiroshige

*Hugs Vergil Nii-San in tears* YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE AFRAID ALONE ><

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lVergill

You don't want to leave, don't you?..

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Yuuto Hiroshige

Day by day, now and forever will you be my brother for the very kindness you showed me...

We can always help eacother together...running away from us will not solve anything but sadness! ><

I don’t ever want to leave here, the very place where I feel truly happy. I really don’t want you to leave ;-;

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lVergill

But running away was my only option...

I didn't learn anything besides that and I do really, really, really understand when you mention this place as home. 

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Yuuto Hiroshige

It’s not your only option. We can always make new options to help deal with our problems. Let’s us help you not to repeat the mistake....running away honestly is the catalyst to the next one ._.

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Rachel Chan

Too loong to read nyaaa :3

Everyone looks so serious but Rachel ish a baka so i dont really understand anything.

But feel free to play with my paws when chu need it ^//-//^

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lVergill

I don't think you are dumb....

Well...I guess..

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Manni
44 minutes ago, lVergill said:

I don't think you are dumb....

Well...I guess..

@Rachel Chan Might want to see this. I believe this guy called you an idiot in the most cowardly way possible.

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lVergill
1 minute ago, Manni said:

@Rachel Chan Might want to see this. I believe this guy called you an idiot in the most cowardly way possible.

I was referring to the offer she was kindly given to me since I skip to the next line....

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Rachel Chan

H-hey lets not going that way ^-^"

Im sincerely dont want things to get ugly.

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lVergill

Ok...

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Manni

Very well, I made a mistake. I apologise. @lVergill

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Rachel Chan

There you go. Now be a good boy and lets play together <3

Edited by Rachel Chan

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Damask

Though I haven't been here long and barely know anyone.... this site really seems to like you. A lot. You should stay. Family and friends like these don't come around that often. They all are real and here for you. Don't run from it. Take they're hands because they as well as I care about you. We are here for you forever and always.

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lVergill

To tell you the truth, this site is very unforgiving sometime since it can change without warning and you need to adapt quickly. The people right now are new to me once and the old friends I once had, in the beginning, are gone and I have to keep going without any of them. You are indeed right, I have seen it now and I don't plan on leaving here anytime soon and thank for caring since, despite our little chat, you are very kind and generous person. 

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Kalvoras Vertal

"What the fuck am I, chopped liver? 🙃 I was here months before you were, buddy, and I haven't left XD If anything, I'm always there when you need someone to talk to. But you don't come to me, so I don't ever say anything about it. We do have two EcchiTexts open right now."

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Noah Takumi

I'm sorry Vergil it seems as though you have been through a good bit, I know it hurts having so many bad things happen and being scared that the minute you find happiness you'll without meaning to destroy it. Yet I don't think you will or can here, people here really care about you, and I know that without barely talking to you. I know that by the way people reacted just hearing you left.... You don't have to leave, and I can't say bad things won't occur here or in life but you have to be strong. I once heard there's light even in the darkest abyss, you just have to look for it. It maybe hard to find but there's good in everything. I'm not judging and I don't want to, like you I like to listen to help out if I can. From meeting you I tell you have a lot to offer the world, you brought this community together to make a whole new family and life. That's a gift, I find it interesting that you care so much people where I often love from a distance with no real thought of becoming more then an admirer. I know that your past has affected you greatly but maybe you should let it go, it's like poison and it's holding you back. Have you every thought you weren't meant to be with those people? Maybe they were showing you something that you thought you liked but that doesn't make them right for you, the person that's right for you will chose you without thought of hesitation. I would hate to think you let people put out your light that probably weren't good people to begin with, and it's ok to be jealous. It's ok to be angry but don't let it consume you, when you do it'll change you into something that you won't even recognize. I've seen it happen, you'll become bitter... things will get much darker if you focus on the bad, take what you learned and just make better decisions. Don't let your heavy heart stay heavy, forgive yourself and grow.

  If you want start here, learn to lean on others. Vent... laugh... let them heal you then take the new you out again, and just be yourself. If you don't agree that's fine, I just want to encourage you to look up. You can't fall forever, one day you have decide when you'll get back up. Life has taught me many things, and one thing I hold on to is that nothing can hold me down or back unless I let it. I dealt with my pain by simply giving up on the things that hurt me, moving on... I don't have friends to lean on when things get rough so I talk to God and dead relatives that use to encourage me. Do I sound crazy... Lol. It's alright... At the end of the day I decided to live my life one day, one step at a time.... It's not always easy but life never promised to be. If you ever need to talk... Hit me up, I'll do whatever I can to ease your pain even if it only helps a little... Like you said we're family, if you can't lean on us to talk to then who??? It's easy here, talking to people knowing you can say whatever... after all they aren't involved in your life, they normally won't judge you and because they don't know you they are so supportive. Also thank you, I meant to say that before you left. You were trying to really help me out before you decided to leave and you didn't have to, I appreciate you letting me be a total pain. If you do leave take care and talk it out.... It may seem as though it does nothing... but it does more then you know.

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Whoreo

how can anyone read and understand what was written? I'm having a really hard time reading it, some of those words do not string together to make a sentence and overall it looks like it was written by a bot who's programmer was strung out on cocaine and other nefarious narcotics. goodness gracious that was atrocious.

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