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My reasoning to stop


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I want to write down my reasoning here as to why I'm gonna stop role-playing here, my motives for it is dead for one, I thought I'd have fun here but it hasn't working out, and now that I have had freedom from work, I had time to reflect on this, and this site is also part of a reason why my heart is quite heavy, so atleast doing this might just help me in my life, and full disclaimer this is NOT because of any people particular, it's all me. My will and motive is just gone, and I don't want to be forced to do it. 

Second, I'm just gonna go to my old roots, if you just need someone to talk to or share your day with, feel free to, I'm just gonna participate in the community wall and till that only. 

So that's really about it. This amount of depression is definitely something that's really killing everything having to do with everyone, I have so many more personal stuff going on making this much much worse, I am snappy, and I'm kinda of eating more now, sleeping more, much more lethargic. To top it all just the loneliness around here, true I say alot, I talk alot, I joke alot, I definitely look like a happy go lucky guy but I'm much better at just helping ppl and letting go then, its really hard for me to hold on to stuff, good stuff for example this site. I don't want to subject everyone here to this and neither do I want to subject myself to forcing a mood, I want something but just, it ain't working out for me chief, and solitude isn't an answer, because I've done it before. 

So yea that's my reason, I'll always reply once or twice in a day, and participate in the community, that's all, I hope you all can respect my decision, and thank you in advance for whatever you say, I'm sure you all are very supportive people so thank you. 

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I feel you on the role playing. It's hard to maintain inspiration, for me personally it's difficult to find new partners and start new things, I've been getting a lot of people going "lol whatever your preference is" and just don't work with me to make something fun for both of us and I can not stand that, so I ghost. Other partners that I enjoy role playing with, when I feel like I give as much as I can, I get less than half hearted responses and I also ghost. That and my time restraints.

It is what it is, tho. Role playing is a fickle mistress, but what can you do? An idol of mine once said "Oh well, whatever happens, happens.". It's nice that you're gonna stick around just to be a part of the community, though. I've been struggling with that decision myself, because I like to role play and I can put my ideas here with little to no restriction, but. *shrug*

Sounds like you're in a bit of a dark place, tho. I really hope you feel better about things soon, whatever those things may be outside of this site.

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