Let's start being honest about sex!

[Eros Angel]

I always find it funny how we as people often talk about sex in an idealized manner. Sex is great! and there is nothing wrong with romanticizing it, but for the sake of just this one thread let's be honest about the trials and tribulations of sex. That said I love sex and don't want to give a bad impression of it, but here are some funny truths;

Part One: Oral Sex

Penises:

Semen doesn't taste good, it tastes like bitter spices roasted over hot garbage.

When you swallow a load of semen you spend the rest of the day getting weird gagging coughs as you try to clear that slimy feeling from the back of your throat.

While a guy might like to cum on your face and then have you wear it awhile it can really annoying to do so, as it dries on your skin it gives you this uncomfortable stretching sensation and if it's in your hair it hurts as it dries and pulls.

If a girl (or guy) is sucking your dick don't start randomly thrusting unless they know to expect it. We are protecting your cock from our teeth with our lips as we blow you and you might hurt us if you start thrusting unexpectedly. On a related note it might seem fun to suddenly gag me personally with your cock, except, you know, if I gag without expecting it my instinct is close my mouth, biting down....

Vaginas:

Pussy does not taste like strawberries or candy or fruit, it tastes like pussy (Unless your lover has been sticking jolly ranchers up herself), and that is perfectly fine and good.

For the love of God if you have facial hair either shave it clean or have a full beard, don't eat pussy with a five o'clock shadow unless you like inflicting non sexy agony later.

If as a child you never learned how to wash your pussy properly please learn Asap, *speaking of genitals tasting like hot garbage*

What funny stuff have you guys learned about the realities of Oral sex over time?

(further posts for different sex act's coming soon)

 

[Alexander Bodide]

8 minutes ago, GM Angel said:

Semen doesn't taste good, it tastes like bitter spices roasted over hot garbage.

The "flavor" depends on what the person eats, or so I hear. I don't know if it completely changes or just alters aspects of it, though. I've been told mine becomes sweet if I've been drinking pineapple juice, for example.

 

Uhhh sex in the dark! It's harder than what movies make it look like. Sometimes it can be seriously difficult to find the hole. "Okay, where is it....here? No. Tell me if I'm hot or cold. Aha, found it- oh, you don't want it in that one tonight? Fair enough.......now I found it for real! Just let me reposition slightly and...hey, where'd it go?? Let's just turn on the light for a minute."

[Elrishna]

Speaking for myself personally I quite enjoy the taste of semen, now I have had my fair share of men who's semen tasted better then others but on a general basis I've found myself enjoying the slight salty bitterness of it more often then not and that's including the aftertaste that seems to last a while even after it's swallowed. Something I've found to quite odd when compared to a few of my friends who've told me the only reason they put up with it is because it makes their partners happy and how they would instantly need to drink several cups of water to get rid of the taste.

Sex in the shower I've found to be a great deal less romantic and fun as I have always thought it to be while watching porn or various movies that portray it as such. Being in a cramp slippery space with someone else as both of you are doing your hardest to pleasure one another is far more difficult then I had originally believed. Dangerous too!

Sex on the beach. (The act not the awesome drink. xD) Is another one of those instances that looks far better on a screen then in reality. Sand. Gets. Everywhere. Especially if you're a woman.... and the rashes oh my god never again.... "Put a towel down." They said. "It's so romantic." They claimed. No... Don't sand uh sand finds away.

[Eros Angel]

Sex in water in general is not what I expected I've found, I don't really know how to explain it but instead of being like lube water is...dry? and gets rid of natural lube causing friction. Don't really know how to explain it, just personal experience.

[Eros Angel]

Also, I very much enjoy it when a lover ejaculates in my mouth, but Semen tasting good? Course I would prolly like it less not more if it tasted good, I find certain terrible experiences hot and fun, though God knows why.

[Elrishna]

Who knows! Perhaps I'm the same way? Like thinking upon it if that taste came from anything other then a cock I'd probably yack. Maybe it's just the idea of a man cumming in my mouth and generally enjoying himself is what causes me to associate the taste with being good and pleasurable. Cause it is one of those flavors I don't think I'd classify as good but tasting it and thinking about it gets me all fuzzy feeling haha. 

[Eros Angel]

Yeah I think the act itself is very pleasurable and there is something affectionate and hot about accepting that nasty jizz in your mouth and swallowing it.

[Eros Angel]

You really do bring up a good point though, separate the taste from the act and how would you feel about the taste? Like if someone asked you to try a new food and it tasted like Jizz what would your natural reaction be? lol

[Elrishna]

Oh I would most defiantly wonder what the hell they were feeding me I'd most defiantly be upset haha and I've had men cum in my food and be perfectly fine with it. lol 

[Alexander Bodide]

Honestly, the thought of subjecting someone to not-so-great-tasting jizz is a little bit exciting to me. Maybe that's my sadistic side talking?

[Eros Angel]

I mean, maybe your some mythical unicorn of a guy with great tasting spunk but I doubt it. It's not your fault for not knowing that though, as women we deceive men all the time regarding sex, though mostly it's actually on accident I've found. If a women tells you she loves the taste of your spunk what she is probably actually telling you is she loves sucking your dick, which is probably tied to loving you yourself not loving your dick itself.

It's confusing, like the whole when we say harder what we mean is faster thing.

[Eros Angel]

The true test though is that the next time you jerk off cum into a cup and then immediately drink it all, then you will know the truth.

[Alexander Bodide]

Now, I don't think anyone would accuse me of being one to shy away from adventure, but... I don't think that's going to happen!! Hahaha

[Peculiaritree Deactivated]

I... may actually do that. Since I'm completely inexperienced, I'd like to know if I should have a courtesy glass of water or soda or something ready when the time does eventually come, so to speak.

Also this thread is a goldmine of useful info for people like me, so thanks to everyone here!

[Somethingsomething]

2 hours ago, GM Angel said:

While a guy might like to cum on your face and then have you wear it awhile it can really annoying to do so, as it dries on your skin it gives you this uncomfortable stretching sensation and if it's in your hair it hurts as it dries and pulls.

Spoiler: When it gets into your eyes, it will burn.

 

[Eros Angel]

3 minutes ago, Somethingsomething said:

Spoiler: When it gets into your eyes, it will burn.

 

Yeah, like acid.

[Elrishna]

5 minutes ago, Somethingsomething said:

Spoiler: When it gets into your eyes, it will burn.

 

Gods does it burn.... or if it comes out of your nose so much burn. 

[Somethingsomething]

47 minutes ago, GM Angel said:

I don't really know how to explain it but instead of being like lube water is...dry

This.

2 hours ago, GM Angel said:

When you swallow a load of semen you spend the rest of the day getting weird gagging coughs as you try to clear that slimy feeling from the back of your throat

Never experienced this, but it does leave a weird, fuzzy feeling on your teeth. About the taste, it depends on the persons diet and on your mood. One day it is just bitter and gross and another day it is all sexy (and bitter. It's always bitter).

 

2 hours ago, GM Angel said:

Vaginas

Please dear people going down on women (and planning on using their fingers).. clip your nails. If you're a musician and play the guitar and need them nails, use your other hand. Also: Wash you hands. Please.

[Eros Angel]

I actually don't feel like it burns much coming out my nose, but if it is coming out my nose usually something else has gone terribly wrong.

[luck588]

I have an honest question about penis size, I may not identify as male but I still have a dick (I'm genderfluid ) , so my dick is not big the max size is 6 inches is that a problem ? The parts of the internet I tend to go through make me think that my size is not enough for nothing.

[Somethingsomething]

Oh and one thing I feel is really important too: When you experience that it just takes you longer to orgasm (or if you simply do not have orgasms at all): tell your partner. Porn suggests that the orgasm is the goal while having sex but honestly it is just the cherry on the cake and cake tastes good without cherries too. You may or may not orgasm but if you're stressed out about it it will make it harder for you to enjoy what you're doing. Especially when you're just discovering your sexuality, do not feel pressure to fit into something. Talking about it with your partner makes everything much more relaxed and you two can work on how it works out best for you Next to: Always go pee after sex to avoid bladder infections, this is definitely my pro tip!

[Elrishna]

2 minutes ago, luck588 said:

I have an honest question about penis size, I may not identify as male but I still have a dick (I'm genderfluid ) , so my dick is not big the max size is 6 inches is that a problem ? The parts of the internet I tend to go through make me think that my size is not enough for nothing.

6 inches is actually pretty good to be honest. For me personally I talk a big game while role playing but I can't really handle men with huge cocks that shit typically hurts.

[Buio Banned]

haha, Luck, you're actually slightly above average so don't worry about it. The majority of women are only about 4 inches deep normally and up to 6 inches deep if aroused. You won't be making any size queen howl (though that is more about girth than anything anyways since smashing the cervix trying to get some 8+ inches all the way in is almost universally painful and not pleasurable for women) but for just about any other woman you'll be entirely snug and comfortable

[Elrishna]

6 minutes ago, GM Angel said:

I actually don't feel like it burns much coming out my nose, but if it is coming out my nose usually something else has gone terribly wrong.

My last boyfriend would absolutely love to just ram his dick down my throat and cum. The dude had an impressive volume too so it would always spurt out of my nose I never enjoyed it a whole lot cause it would burn but at the same time I enjoyed it because he loved doing it to me so.

[Somethingsomething]

14 minutes ago, luck588 said:

I have an honest question about penis size, I may not identify as male but I still have a dick (I'm genderfluid ) , so my dick is not big the max size is 6 inches is that a problem ? The parts of the internet I tend to go through make me think that my size is not enough for nothing.

It's not the size, it's what you do with it. That sounds stupid and worn out but honestly nobody needs a big dick if the person attached to it just randomly pokes around in you with it. I mean I think there is a size that is good to actually feel something (I had to convert inches to cm and I think you're good to go) but this is also dependent on the girl / the guy and how wide they are. And this again depends on their size, how their body is built..you see where I'm going with this

 

(edit: all the typos!)