Conditional Power

[KillerQueen22]

granted but its a form of currency that is no longer used and therefore completely useless!

I wish for eternal peace in the world

[Minorikawa Deactivated]

Granted, but it costs everyone their free will.

I wish to be the best cook in the world!

[Gidgy]

Granted, but to know delicious food you must be delicious food, so you are constantly hunted by the worlds greatest chefs!

wish: control the undead

[Minorikawa Deactivated]

Granted, but given their constant state of decay and brittle state, it's not like you can do much with 'em. They just lay there and decompose...

Wish: Possess the ultimate sexual-tyrannosaurus-level pheromones!

[KillerQueen22]

Granted BBBBBBBUUUUUTTTTT they only work on gay sloths.

Wish: super intelligence that breaks every test 

[Gidgy]

Granted! Yet you're so smart that you can't stand other people or mundane things. Instead choosing to just lay there thinking about amazing things that only you can comprehend. You are then committed to an insane asylum. But we'll still visit you.

Wish: Cannot die.

 

[Minorikawa Deactivated]

Granted, but the longer you live the more disconnected you become with the rest of humanity and their seemingly short, chaotic, ever-changing lives, making you the loneliest person in the world.

Wish: Become the best guitarist in the world

[Gidgy]

Granted! You are now the best guitarist in the world but yet have the worst taste in music. You throw all of your incredible talent into repeatedly performing the only song you believe to be worth your abilities -- Freebird.

Wish: To be the best babysitter

[GoddamnHero Deactivated]

Granted! You have became the best babysitter in the whole world, earning a lot of money from it, but since you love your job and have a busy schedule, you have no more time for your personal life anymore.

 

Wish: To be the best hero.

[Gidgy]

Granted! But you're the best hero only in the eyes of .... Satan! You might says you're a goddamned hero! And as His Infernal Majesty's hero, you accomplished great feats of oppression and sacrilege. It was beautiful. ~weeps at the sight~

 

Wish: to be fireproof

Edited October 4, 2023 by Gidgy

[KillerQueen22]

Granted but only on sunday nights at 11:59:58pm to 12:00am monday morning

Wish: eternal youth and good looks

[Minorikawa Deactivated]

Granted, but you also fail to mature, which doesn't seem to be a problem at first but it not only makes you bored really quickly into your eternal youth, but really annoying to your would-be contemporaries in age who wonder why you're so obsessed with old stuff and talk like someone from back in the day.

Wish: To be the wish granter!

[Gidgy]

Your wish was NOT granted. For you already were the wish granter and yet you were unaware and so didn't grant it. You live a sad lonely life of unfulfilled personal wishes while watching the wishes of those you love also go unanswered until ultimately all wishes fade into oblivion. You had the power the whole time. If you only knew. How could you not have known?

 

Wish: To be able to drop emotionally heavy words of text on unsuspecting wishers at a moment's notice!

 

[Cute_Bro]

Granted, however you're subject to a whiplash effect of the weight of those words. So whatever they feel, you also feel.

I wish for the power to fast-forward time.

[Gidgy]

Granted! But you remain with a fixed time origin and you didn't get the power to rewind time. So going forward 10 years makes you permanently 10 years older. Just like if you had waited 10 years! Yay?

Wish: I want to read people's most intimate dirty thoughts.

[GoddamnHero Deactivated]

Granted! Your mind reading power is so powerful and at the same time so uncontrollable that you can't disguise who are thoughts's owners in your mind, making you lose the sense of identity.

 

Wish: to receive 1 biilion dollars every 24 hours.

[KillerQueen22]

Granted but it instantly goes into flame the second it appears or negatives itself in your back account.

Wish: unparalleled wisdom and experience in everything to make work effortless

[Minorikawa Deactivated]

Granted, but without effort there is no satisfaction of achieving something, and as such there's no reason to pursue a thing, making life ultimately hollow.

Wish: To have a harem of hot ladies!

[Pixel]

Granted but they do not like you.

The power to restore items to brand new condition with a touch

[KillerQueen22]

They break to irreparable states the moment you take your touch off

Wish: true love for all

[Pixel]

Granted, it's out there, but they never find it.

The power to make the most delicious dishes with the most disgusting ingredients

[DreamsnThings]

Granted but well its delicious, it looks so horrible,  smells so revolting, that no one will ever willingly try it

I wish for some ice cream!

 

Edited October 4, 2023 by DreamsnThings

[IsabellaRose]

granted, but it's that crappy "astronaut ice cream" those little pellets they sell at carnivals and fair.

 

I wish for gills to breathe underwater

[KillerQueen22]

Congratulations, you drown the first time you swim in freshwater and realize you have SALT water gills.

Wish: unbreakable luck when it comes to gambling

[IsabellaRose]

granted, but there's a sign over your head calling it out so everyone knows and no one will gamble with you.

 

Wish: anylength hair on command