Won't you Play an Old and Sexy TTRP with Me?

[Melethron]

Good morning one and all! After an unfortunate absence, I've returned to the lovely people of Ecchi Dreams. I'm hoping to reconnect with old playmates, and make new ones. As I ease back into the world of roleplay again, I thought I would begin with something I used to quietly put together with a couple friends here. An RP based on a (mostly) forgotten TTRPG crafted by Chuds of yore in the forges of the worst website ever made.

 

Written collaboratively in 2012 and published officially in 2013, Busty Barbarian Bimbos is a game designed for light fun which sadly is mostly forgotten. In part because how are you supposed to sell a game like this in a public game store? You play as...well, a bimbo who is possibly a barbarian. Someone straight from the excellent fantasy art of Frank Cho or Boris Vallejo, legends in fantasy art. But there are no beefcakes with impractical pecs or chainsaw arms here. Just a capable (if dim) woman. Who needs a towering intellect, quick wits or practical armor when you look this great in the mirror?

While sexualized, the game is not inherently sexual. Though it does definitely lean into the bimbo kink and its stereotypes. This isn't meant to demean however, the game is just dumb fun. Fun with a more sexual flair in our case~ The game uses the SLUT engine--standing for your four attributes. Slap, covering your strength, and brute force. Legs, your speed and reflexes. Uhmm which is your brain and ability to understand abstract concepts. And Tits which covers beauty, seduction, style and luck. Each score rolled has a stat between 2 and 5. When making a check to do something, you roll an equal number of six-sided dice to the number of your stat.

Simple, right?

I've wanted to give this old gem a try for ten years. But it always fell through when I first tried to put this together. And I am not broadcasting a game like this in the local game store. So I come to you, my lovelies. But with a couple caveats. Firstly. While I am glad to give our game a more sexual tint to appeal to our tastes, I don't want this to be 'Monster Fucking: The Game'. I want the setting to have it as an occasional treat, not be a living fantasy porn set. Secondly, don't take this idea too seriously either way. This is a fun game with unlikely but sexy heroines. Social commentary is boring. Slaying and laying is fun.

That's all for now. If you are interested, drop a reply or send me a line. Until next time,

Mel

[WritesNaughtyStories]

A throw back vibe to the stoned and glorious years of my misspent youth! Greg Porter's marvelous trilogy: Macho Women with Guns, Renegade Nuns on Wheels and Bat-Winged Bimbos from Hell.

It's not precisely the same thing or a game I know, but sure, fuck it, I'm in.

[Rob4ix]

I would like to try that game, though maybe with some homebrew

[Melethron]

Fantastic! That's two confirmed interests, and a tentative interest. I just need a couple more people, and we can start our mind-melting adventure through the world of...something. Tell your friends about the game, tell your enemies too!

 

Happy to have you Writes! Don't worry, the system is meant to be a fun and quick pick-up-and-play style game. No need to worry about flipping through a 300 page book figuring out if the Ball Grabber or the Testicle Massager skill synchronizes better with your build. The book's only 60 or so pages long, with only 40 of them really for the players.

 

The game doesn't leave a lot of room for homebrew Rob4ix, but if you don't want to play an ordinary human woman, that's no problem. Real fantasy loves every kind of woman. Women with pointy ears, women with blue skin, women with scales, and I can go way freakier than that. So long as your character is a busty bimbo, she'll fit perfectly.

[IsabellaRose]

I'm game if you'll have me.

[WritesNaughtyStories]

Oh, we'll have you...

[Livvy]

Been a fair while since I tried RP in a group setting but I could certainly be interested, busty bimbo characters can be silly to play after all 

[Phocas]

I'd love tah join!

[Rob4ix]

On 02/10/2026 at 01:26, Livvy said:

Been a fair while since I tried RP in a group setting but I could certainly be interested, busty bimbo characters can be silly to play after all 

Btw, question, what would you consider a busty bimbo? Like where would you draw the line?

[Livvy]

Not sure there is a specific point to point at and go there; those are big enough to be bimbo tits. It's the whole manner and character that creates a bimbo, not just them acting a bit ditzy. Though I'd say they would almost always have to be blonde, but that's about it, though I also hope to see some variation too, as if we are all playing blondes, that would be sort of boring

[Rob4ix]

I actually wonder, will it be necessary to make the player character to be a bimbo? Like what if i wanna add a non-bimbo, but still sexy character to the group for sake of variety and maybe more interesting group dynamics?

[WritesNaughtyStories]

It's available on Scribd but it's a two column PDF than renders like shit on mobile. From a quick scan it appears not to be super interested in actual bimbo behavior so much as appearance.

It kind of takes Frazetta and Vallejo at face value - Red Sonja is competent and her chainmail bikini works. It seems to be more self aware campy fun than anything else.

Probably a good fit here.

[Rob4ix]

24 minutes ago, WritesNaughtyStories said:

It's available on Scribd but it's a two column PDF than renders like shit on mobile. From a quick scan it appears not to be super interested in actual bimbo behavior so much as appearance.

It kind of takes Frazetta and Vallejo at face value - Red Sonja is competent and her chainmail bikini works. It seems to be more self aware campy fun than anything else.

Probably a good fit here.

Great, i am considering a big plump cryptid-looking witch.

[Balthier]

This system does actually seem light and fun!

[WritesNaughtyStories]

The real question is, is "dropping" your sword behind you, bending over to pick it up and wiggling your ass at the villain a Tits or Uhhm roll?

[IsabellaRose]

Obviously you didn't read the "Dat Ass" ability under Basic Abilities.

"Once per scene a bimbo with Dat Ass may substitute her Legs for her Tits score. This is usable for all applications of the Tits stat, whether social, shopping, or combat," which implies that using dat ass is a Tits roll by default. 

I'm finally the "wellll, ahctually" nerd!

[WritesNaughtyStories]

Here's a gold star on your report card!

[Rob4ix]

1 hour ago, IsabellaRose said:

Obviously you didn't read the "Dat Ass" ability under Basic Abilities.

"Once per scene a bimbo with Dat Ass may substitute her Legs for her Tits score. This is usable for all applications of the Tits stat, whether social, shopping, or combat," which implies that using dat ass is a Tits roll by default. 

I'm finally the "wellll, ahctually" nerd!

this ability kinda makes no sense but this is a bimbo game so we ignore that... there is also "dem hips" ability that allows to use slap stat for legs rolls... so you can literally be a fat bitch and seduce someone

[Melethron]

Lol, probably Tits. :D I did find a download for this on a blog somewhere. But I'd rather not give you all a download link and a 'trust me bro' when GPU prices are reaching a monthly mortgage payment rate and viruses are free.

Alright guys, I think we have enough interest to get started. In my experience when it comes to TTRPs, there's usually one or two people who life gets busy for just after we start, so we've hit a good threshold to move to the next step. Character creation! When it comes to Character Creation, I prefer random rolls, since it adds an element of excitement and danger to character creation. Now I can't come to your house personally and watch you roll for me yet so I'm depending on Scout's Honor. But if your stats do seem unnaturally high, I will ask you to reroll for me.

 

Here's the link to the sourcebook on scribd again. When rolling your stats, you roll 3d6 (or roll the six sided dice three times). Stats are ranked from 2-5, with 5 being best. If you roll a 1 or 2, write a 2 in your stat. A 3 is a 3, 4 a 4, and a 5 or 6 is a 5. Fairly simple. But you may be wondering, 'but there are four stats and I roll 3 times?' Well aren't you disturbingly bright for a bimbo! Your Tits stat is determined by your previous rolls, or rather how bad your rolls were. If your stat is a 2, you add 2 to your Tits stat. If your stat is a 3 or 4, you add 1. If its a 5, you add 0. So even if you roll like shit for your other three stats, you can be content in the knowledge you rock the most legendary boobage in all the land. Meanwhile if your other stats are 5s...some guys like flat girls, shame we won't meet them in this game.

 

Now the way the system works, is when there is a challenge, whether you're hitting a bad man or seducing a dragon you roll 3D6 dice. If you don't have dice, you can follow this link for a D&D diceroller, its free to use. There are three categories of challenge. Easy, Medium and Hard. Easy requires 1 success, Medium requires 2 successes, and Hard requires 3. A success when you roll is equal to or less than the stat you rolled. So if you have a 4 in your Slap skill and its Easy to hit the bad guy, you just need to roll a single 4 or less. A critical success (the game's version of a natural 20) is when you roll two or three 1s on your dice. A critical failure is when you roll two or three 6s on your dice. This is the most realistically you can reasonably be expected to perform your task, or reasonably expected to fail it. Probably with a comedic twist. I mean, you are a half-naked dudette or dude fucking up in public.

 

Here's our improvised sheet.

Quote

 

Name: Duh
Age: 18+ please. This is a no-brainer. Site rules say gallery images are meant to be 18 min, and if someone draws or AI generates a character in the game, I don't want you banned.
Sex: Yes please Male, Female, Futanari, etc.
Class: This is more for flavor than anything else. If you want to play a struggling witch apprentice in a bra and g-string who resorts to hitting things with her broom like the barbarian, who am I to stop you?
Race: This can be standard fare like humans, high elves, orcs. More exotic races like lamia, centaurs and alraune. If you're a complete degen like me, you might want to put Yordles from LoL, Midna from LoZ, Asari from Mass Effect or Xenomorphs in the game. You're welcome to make your own fantasy race, or base it off another franchise's race. Just file the serial numbers off and we'll figure out how they fit in the world so elves, centaurs, blue aliens and short people can all fuck in peace.

Slap: Physical strength, constitution and ability to hurt other people.
Legs: Your agility, speed and reflexes.
Uhm: Your creativity, intelligence, wisdom, and logic.
Tits: (or 'Thingy' if you're a dude) Beauty, charisma, seduction and raw luck.

Ability: Your special ability from the list in the document.
Weapon: Your preferred weapon.
Clothing: What clothing you wear; this functions as your hit points, with a naked bimbo turning heads but easy to knock out.

Appearance: How your character looks. Only restriction is your breast/penis size should correlate with your Tits stat. You can't have a DD cup and a Tits score of 2 or even 3.
Background: Your character's history and what brings them here.
Kinks: Things you would like to see happen, especially to your character.
Anti-Kinks: Things you won't like to see happen, especially to your character.

I don't quite have a setting ready yet, so don't worry about referencing an 80 page Google doc with lore and rules. Just write what you think is sexy, fun or interesting, I'll figure out how to make it fit in. We're writing sexy women fighting and fucking monsters, not the Silmarilion.

Now, a few points of order. Firstly, I've considered in the past the idea of having noncon as a fail condition if you lose a fight. It might not be as forward as rape, but the guy you were fighting might steal your underwear or somesuch. If you aren't into anything specific, that's alright. I will need some kind of substitute so one character isn't trying to escape the horny centaur because that's what her player's into while the others just kind of lay around waiting for the scene to end scott-free.
As a subpoint to this, if you're a dude, I'd prefer if you're bi. I'm hardly going to make that a requirement, its just a lot of monsters who defeat you probably won't care too much about your preferences. This puts me in the awkward situation of deciding why the Rape Gnomes avoid you specifically when they're omnisexual and you aren't. I'll come up with a reason, just try to build on this reason or help set one up for me.

The last time I DMed an ERP game I divided lewd scenes using character specific chat rooms. Thinking of doing something similar with spoilers and warnings for intimate encounters. That way if I want my character to hold someone's hand but someone else in the group hates hand-holding without proper protection, they'd have to unspoiler it to see hot hand on hand action.

I've considered the idea of generating art of some of our scenes, especially the sexy ones. I doubt I'll ever have enough money to commission art of my favorite barbarian being fucked by goblins after all, and posting unrelated scenes from anime or pop culture is impersonal. That said, some people are strongly against AI generation, and if you're one of them, I'm not going to force you to see it. Whether I spoiler it, look for random images or just rely on written descriptions depends on the popular sentiment of the group though.

Edited October 4 by Melethron
Forgot dudes exist.

[Rob4ix]

There are dice rooms that allow to check who rolled what and even allow to send links to rolls - rolz (website) - it doesnt even need to register. I can also draw as i am an artist... Kinda mid but still

Edited October 5 by Rob4ix

[Livvy]

do we have a place for character sheets or just post them here?

[Rob4ix]

go check other threads in this club

1 hour ago, Livvy said:

do we have a place for character sheets or just post them here?

@WritesNaughtyStorieshas made a thread already and i posted my character there (no art for now)

[Melethron]

2 hours ago, Livvy said:

do we have a place for character sheets or just post them here?

Just post them here for now. I'm using this spot until I have the time to set up a more elaborate page with lore and other info.

[WritesNaughtyStories]

Let's not clog up the general discussion thread with game-specific posts. Go ahead and use the OOC I started until @Melethron gets their thread up. We can copy anything over and I can get the admins to delete my thread.

 

@Rob4ixthe only upside to being a talentless (though skilled prompt technician) AI slop farmer is speed. Make no mistake, I covet both your talent and craft.

Edited October 5 by WritesNaughtyStories
this is not the General Discussion thread. who made me a mod?

[WritesNaughtyStories]

I'll copy Connie over here and when Rob4ix gets the Witch of Dayet moved I'll get the OOC thread hidden and on the admins' list of things to delete.