Corrupted Dreams~

[IsabellaRose]

Granted, but it's such a disappointment it ruins the game for you forever.

I wish something made sense.

[Eros Angel]

Granted, but you realize it makes the kind of sense you wish it didn't.

I wish life had meaning.

[Iceassassin25]

Granted but that meaning is to be slaves to some kind of alien overlord who doesn't understand that life has meaning

I wish Fortnite was banned

[Rucio, Emperor of Cheese]

Granted, but you are now required to speak 168 different languages a day and only play an unpatched, nonremastered version of Dark Souls. And you always get invaded. Even when you aren't human.

I wish I had a penny.

[Iceassassin25]

Granted, But it just happens to be a super secret chip that looks like a penny and the government is after you now

 

I wish Goblins where real

[IsabellaRose]

Granted, but so are orcs, hobgoblins, trolls, ogres, and giants, and they soon subjugate the human race in an unending wave of monsters.

I wish I could put together another real life D&D group.

[Eros Angel]

Granted but your players are  Vladimir Putin, the corpse of Charles Manson and the hosts of Fox and Friends.

I wish gerrymandering wasn't a thing in the U.S.

[IsabellaRose]

Granted, but that's because they just call it Barrymandering instead. 

I wish you hadn't forced me to imagine playing D&D with Putin Manson and the hosts of Fox and Friends ~shudders~

[Eros Angel]

Granted...well not granted, there is nothing I can do about that now.

I wish I could play D&D in virtual reality.

[IsabellaRose]

Granted, but due to an error in your virtual reality gear, you get stuck in the virtual world as a Level 1 Tengu Bard.

I wish I could get cybernetic implants.

[Eros Angel]

Granted, but when you wake up from the anesthesia (funny name for a mallet to the head) You find yourself the proud new owner of an MK 1 nuclear exploding leg, which is great and all but you were here for advanced cybernetic vision implants.

I really wish I had a penis.

[Mysthero]

Granted but now you have erectile dysfunction. (....that felt too mean...)

I wish I could turn invisible.

[Foxtrot Deactivated]

Granted. But you're not actually see through. It's the kind of empty invisible that you feel when the girl at school you like doesn't know you exist.

I wish I could control time.

[Mysthero]

Granted but due to relativity and physics you are unable to interact with people or objects when you stop time.... can only whitness events in the past... and cause paradox universal explosions in the future.

I wish I wasnt single.

[Foxtrot Deactivated]

Granted. *Eyebrow wiggle*

I'm teasing. Couldn't resist.

Granted, but instead of being in a relationship you're severed into multiple sentient pieces.

I wish I could see in the dark.

[Mysthero]

Granted... but you're... *breaks into song* Blinded by the light!! 

I wish I could teleport.

[Foxtrot Deactivated]

Granted! But you have no control over when it happens or where you appear. You could teleport part way through a wall.

I wish I could shape shift.

(I'll let other people play now)

[Eros Angel]

Granted but you can only shape shift into Woody Allen.

I think my brother in law might be developing a crush on me, and I really wish that isn't the case.

[IsabellaRose]

Granted, but now you're developing an unbearable one on him instead.

I wish my mother would stop asking me when I'm going to get married.

[Eros Angel]

Granted...seriously just granted, that is so annoying.

I wish I could ascend to godhood.

[Mighty Joe]

Granted but you are simply the god of toast. You can summon toast and toast may do your bidding, unfortunately toast cannot do someone's bidding. Your blandness will know no bounds.

I wish a had a super tasty sandwhich that is 100% safe to eat and is in no way disgusting. (Just really hungry right now.)

 

Edited November 22, 2019 by Mighty Joe

[Foxtrot Deactivated]

Granted. But you have no mouth with which to eat it.

I wish I could use telekinesis

[Warlock]

Granted Ute it will only serve to move objects to float in the one spot you least desire it.

 

i wish I could draw portraits.

[Rucio, Emperor of Cheese]

Granted, but it's only of your neighbors, and you can only paint them in your own blood, freshly extracted for that purpose.

I wish I was dead. (Go ahead, corrupt that.)

[Mighty Joe]

Granted you're legally dead, but just barely, you will sit at limbo of life and death forever.

I wish I had all the magic:the gathering cards I could ever want.