Taking this space to share a bit and also vent a little bit.

[Razthor Fordring]

Greetings everybody!

My name is Raz, and I want to take this small space to share a bit of a story and to vent a bit in the process. Now there is the chance that this is just a lame reading for you since this is nothing that is about my life having big issues or something similar, not trying to be diminishing anybody here as well that might be going through something in their lives and that can be heavy stuff, but I feel I can let some steam out with this space.

When I started Rping in the internet, basically 10 years ago, I was too shy to even ask for starters and to even set up a story or a prompt with my own rules do's and cannot's, then a person (witch I will keep anonymous for their sake) texted me via one of the channels of that site and said "hey you wanna RP?" back then it was an MLP RP of the EG kind. But this person wasn't contacting me because I let out an idea or published a prompt, it was because this person saw my OC that I made and decided to give me a shot. Long story short we rp for around 2 years and a half. That is until looser moi! made things awkward and this person left, after that left the site and began wandering, looking for a new partner. It was form this point that I stopped writting in 1st person and switched to 3rd person and made my oc's totally diffrent from me, to remind me ALL OF THIS IS FICTION! that I'm not my characters, that I will NEVER be my characters and to never actually get too involved with my partner and personal life. Then some months latter, found this other site where I found this other partner (and yes this person will remain anonymous) and we went about 1 year, and suddenly they stopped writing, and basically I thought this person was going through something, I didn't want to pry and commit the same mistake as before, by getting too personal, so I searched for another site. AND IT TURNS OUT that this person was in this site and was ghosting me because they were having lots of public RP's and I was left in the dust. Then cut ties with this person and decided to look for another partner, from this point had just partners that lasted a few lines before they began ghosting again. I thought something must be wrong with me, but could not figure what it was, and so I spent the last 5 years from there still looking for a partner, being in forums, web sites, discord servers...but then in those 5 years I met another person, we were at it for 2 years of those 5 but lately this person seems to be away from it all, now they claim they are not ghosting me and that they are looking out for family, part of me makes it hard to believe it, but my other side says that they are telling the truth so I am not pushing for more, ever since then I am still wondering around for another partner that is active. Hence why I take my nickname of the wanderer, because I wonder from place to place, form server to server trying to find something to fill that void, but lately I haven't found nothing...or if I find a good prospect something comes to f*** things up one way or the other.

Now the crucial questions are these:

- Am I too addicted to this?

- Am I a bad RP player that has no talent?

- Am I too demanding with the activity of my partners or am I too loose with my way of being?

- Tided to the 2nd question, Should I stop this even when I like it so much?

At least these questions I can think so far, but whoever is reading this, you don't need to actually answer these questions, I am still looking but seems I am not as interesting or cannot do anything more interesting for new players. I cannot change because I just can fit trough my head the new ways and new kinks that I really don't feel attracted to and for me I can only play male characters.

Seems to me I am stuck in this loop with no end and I not happy with it to be honest, but is all I can get so far no matter how many prompts I try to give no matter what I post or do.

If you read this far, thank you for your time, but don't feel compelled to answer any of this BS. 

Wishing you all a good year and happy holidays!

[Pixel]

- I think we're all too addicted to this if you feel it is starting to overtake your life, time or your actual feelings it's probably a sign to take a step back reassess your mental priorities. Role Play is for fun and nothing else.

- Probably not...?

- Maybe? People have lives, if a long term partner is saying they have things happening in life, it's not right, or really your place to have doubt in them over it. People can, and are going to do what they want one way or another, that have no obligations, even if we all have our own expectations of role playing partners. I say this as probably the loosest person ever when it comes to role plays.

- Never stop doing anything you enjoy. But as said before, if you find the hobby overtaking too much of your mind and life, take a step back and think on it, try to come at it with a different approach and mind set.

[Razthor Fordring]

6 minutes ago, Pixel said:

- I think we're all too addicted to this if you feel it is starting to overtake your life, time or your actual feelings it's probably a sign to take a step back reassess your mental priorities. Role Play is for fun and nothing else.

Not that it does, I just don't like being silent on my pm's. I might not have a family to take care of and its not like I don't have other activities, but I think I like to have a partner active most of the time.

[Pixel]

People come and go, my dude. If they want to, they will. If they're gonna, they will. Hell, I just recently got a reply to a role play that hasn't had an update in a full two years 

[Lookin4fun]

On 24/12/2022 at 09:24, Pixel said:

People come and go, my dude. If they want to, they will. If they're gonna, they will. Hell, I just recently got a reply to a role play that hasn't had an update in a full two years 

Gonna piggy back off of Pixel here.

It sounds like you are very invested in your RPs and it appears that you take things personally. Now note, I'm not criticizing you, but it sounds like you need insight and introspection for you to determine if this is true as you know yourself better than anybody else here. We only know 1 side of this story and can give you limited answers at best.

Next know that some people may not have as much time as you do to RP. Sometimes people log in, bang out a response, then log back in a few weeks later. That's how it goes. For myself, when I don't have a lot of time then I try to let my RP partners know or post a status. But some people have an avoidant style towards conflict resolution and may not say anything. Regardless, open and honest communication is key to finding the truth or getting yourself "unlost," haha.

And finally, people are going to gravitate towards what they like the most. They could be drawn to their kinks or a more interesting writing style. The harsh truth of life is that we aren't always the biggest fish in the sea or the best writers.

TL:DR - Ask your RP partners what keeps them interested and keep working on your writing.

Hope that helped.

[Gangsta Moll Deactivated]

We are all different with different desires and characters. I know I invest too much in role plays, and play myself too much. I think most people understand that and accept it though. And I don't think it's an addiction, but it might be a bad thing if it makes you sad.