Shitty Superpowers

[SMFoxy]

I stole this idea from a pretty popular subreddit, but this game is going to be pretty simple. All you have to do is list a highly esoteric, or situation specific, superpower.
For example: The ability to speak any language fluently, but only out your arse (ass for our US Dreamers).
Have at it... xD

[Neptune]

The ability to turn the vegetables on your dinner plate into mush.

[SMFoxy]

9 hours ago, Neptune said:

The ability to turn the vegetables on your dinner plate into mush.

That would be pretty shitty, since you can just recreate the effect by mashing them with your fork. xD

[Novaer]

Projectile Shitting - which you cannot control. That'd be a pretty shitty superpower.

[Manni]

The ability to have a superpower determined by a toy company that wants to sell toys to kids and only can be used for one year before starting over?

[Neptune]

The ability to read the page of any book... but the book has to be open and on the page you want to read.

[Manni]

The ability to BE any superpower you wish...but someone else gets to be the hero and USE YOU and get all the credit,

[SMFoxy]

The ability to be pitch perfect/sing in tune, but only along with Auto-Tuned songs.

[Neptune]

You can see in the dark, but only if you have a light source like a torch.

[SMFoxy]

The power of perfect hindsight.

[Novaer]

God Like Abilities... Only on the 31st February. 

[SMFoxy]

The ability to understand Common Core maths.

[Manni]

 

To appear fully erect but be a two minute man EVERY TIME~

[SMFoxy]

The ability to speak to animals. Only animals.

[Warlock]

The ability to make any piece of art you want, but it will always explode so no one can see it.

[Sunstone]

The ability to only become illuminated in a well-lit room. 😋

I dunno, just something silly I thought of! XD

[SMFoxy]

The ability to glow in the dark... but only while the sun is up.

[Lethhz Banned]

The ability to shapeshift, but once you shapeshift into something your memory is wiped and replaced with the memories of that something.

Also you die if it's not biological.

[SMFoxy]

The power to fly... four feet off the ground (approx. 1.2m).

[Manni]

The power to draw on the power of video games...Made by a game company run by a megalomaniac who uses immortality hack and wants to kill you. 

^ Present season of Kamen Rider.

[Whoreo]

To cure the common cold (takes 6-8 weeks).

[Jordii~kins]

the power to control electricity... but only attracting it and you arent immune to the shocking effects. so be careful near powerlines and in storms!

[Whoreo]

Instantly being able to get an erection........doesn't work when you want it to. ;)

[Jordii~kins]

the ability to cum in an instant... but it is uncontrolled and has a habit of doing it when you sneeze or get into a nervous/awkward situation.

[Whoreo]

@Jordii~kins: that could lead to a sticky situation!

the ability to halt your ageing......when you consume an arsenic/cyanide concoction.....and promptly die because you're not immortal.