I'm gonna buy/bail you with...

[Akuja]

I shall purchase Pixi with gatcha game currency!

Ultra Rare Akuja guaranteed with your next purchase. (If that isn’t enough, I come with a free skin! Also, for you non-whale players, I’m guaranteed after your 400th pull. No skin included.)

[PixiLust]

I'll buy Akuja with a fist full of laffy taffy.

Give me your best offer!?

[Akuja]

I shall purchase PixiLust with a lustful pixie carrying pixie sticks full of pixie dust that makes you feel lustful.

What do you have to buy me?

[Elena Ichinomiya]

I'm gonna buy you with this pile of dishes. Washed clean.

Tell me, if i put myself on sale, are you gonna buy me with what?

[IsabellaRose]

I'll buy you with this forty-seven pound lump of petrified whale semen.

What would you buy me with?

[Rucio, Emperor of Cheese]

I'll buy you with a 270 gallon tub of aphrodisiac and a vibrator. No way that can go wrong.

Flash sale, only one left. Place your bids, or don't. Up to you.

[Elena Ichinomiya]

Where the hell my neighbor get that galloon of trouble? Steam sale i guess?

Nevermind that, i'm gonna buy that Rucio with 5 EcchiCredit. Hard.

So i just lost a bet, and here i am stuck in these shelves. Wanna buy me? Cheap.

[IsabellaRose]

I'll buy you with all this pirate treasure I found!

 

Now I find myself up for sale... what will you use to buy me?

[Elena Ichinomiya]

Wow, sold cheap but bought with treasure? Whatta deal~

Let me repay your kindness. I'm gonna buy you with treasure chest!

Speaking about treasure, i'm on auction in few minutes. Join the bidding or buy me right off the bat now!

[PixiLust]

I’d buy Elena with one of my dad’s old bowling trophies. He’s dead now so that’s a family heirloom. 

What I’m lacking in dust, I make up for in Lust. I am now excepting offers. 

[Akuja]

I’ll buy another PixiLust with a memory foam mattress, warm blanket, comfy pillow and sheets, some sweet dreams, and I’ll throw in a body pillow and dildo too while we’re at it.

Now then, since I gave away my entire bed, I’m looking for an excellent offer to make up for it in exchange for me.  

 

[Elena Ichinomiya]

I'm gonna buy you with the new spring bed...no, not that comfy spring bed. But a bed full of spring!

Hm? What am i doing? I'm putting up poster that i'm up for sale. Either you gonna pay in full or by instalment, i take it.

[IsabellaRose]

I'm buying you with this sweater... scarf? thing... I knitted.

What currency would you use to purchase me?

[Rucio, Emperor of Cheese]

I'll buy you with a load of hot, steamy coffee.

What will the Rucio be bought for now?

[Akuja]

Damn... I was gonna buy a Rucio with some doughnuts to go with that coffee... Ah, whatever. I’ll still buy you with doughnuts anyways.

Ahem. The Ultra Rare Akuja deal is now over... Fret not, for a new Ultra Ultra Rare Akuja deal is now available for purchase! (Normally guaranteed with your 700th pull on the gatcha...)

[Cash Money Chad]

I'm going to buy you with the barrel of aphrodisiac I bought off of Rucio with plundered butt pirate treasure.

I'm for sale any takers..free pirate booty with every purchase 

[Imouto Kanna]

I think I'm going to buy Multi with a hamburger, but not just any hamburger. The most delicious one ever created and it's tailored to his unique food preferences.
How will you attempt to buy Kanna-chan the best loli little sister ever?

[Desira]

Oh free booty~? Well, call me a little bit of a gold digger, but I'll buy you for the song of a siren~

But who will buy me I wonder..? 

[Akuja]

As much as I’d like to take Desira for free, I must buy you with the contents of the aphrodisiac barrel Chara bought me with. 

Now, any takers for this once in a lifetime deal?

[Cash Money Chad]

Gold Gooold GOOOOOLD!!! I swiped from pirates

any takers supplies are limited and the gold mean I practically pay for my self  

[Desira]

Bye bye to my student loans with this gold~ Oh dear, that aphrodisiac is really starting to take affect, I'll pay for you with a kiss~

Looks like I'm back on the market for a limited time only~

[Akuja]

Do you take cumshots, facials, and bukkakes as payment? Eh, I guess it doesn’t matter since you’re high on aphrodisiacs, so I buy you with those. 

Whew... the Ultra Ultra Rare Akujas are selling fast. Anyone want to buy another one?

[Elena Ichinomiya]

Not sure but its better deal than sorry i guess. I'm gonna buy you with chopstick...i mean, pocky!

Is anyone wanna try their luck by buying me? Hurry before they throw me to gacha machine!

[Rucio, Emperor of Cheese]

I'll buy Elena with a special vibrating chair, complete with penetrating vibrators and even restraints!

Rucio exists. Buy him. He's better than an Iphone.

[Syco_The_Girl]

I’ll buy Rucio with the rights to PornHub

buy me~