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ArdillaVerde93's Game Reviews #3: Tekken Tag Tournament 2
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By ArdillaVerde93
There's a legend in the Hoenn region about a white rock. Apparently, if you write down wishes on pieces of paper, and attach them to the rock, your wishes will come true. I don't know much else about it; I've only been to Hoenn once, while passing through on a train. I haven't even seen the rock, let alone believing it can grant wishes. But I guess we have some weird legends here in Johto; who am I to judge? But I'm getting sidetracked. The point is, if that wish rock legend is true, I know exactly what I'd wish for. Not love; I already have that. I'm dating a beautiful Delcatty, who I've known since our childhood. And I don't want wealth. I mean, I guess everyone wants to be rich. Me, too. But money isn't all that important to me. I'm a feral Pikachu; what use would I have for it, anyway? So, what do I want? What would I wish for, if I could have anything in the world? I've had fame, friendship, unforgettable experiences,... just a fun-filled life in general. What do I want? To experience it all again.
My name is Pichu Little. Or, at least, I think it is. It's what my older brother calls me. We - my friends and I - call him Pichu Big. Those names have stuck with us since we actually were Pichu. Gun to our heads, in fact, neither one of us could tell you our real names, if we have them. I'll have to think about a name if I'm ever mated. Until that day, just call me Pichu Little. Or just Little; I don't mind. If that name sounds familiar, I'll explain why. Along with my brother, we used to be some of the greatest pranksters in the world: The Pichu Brothers.
Come to think of it, it could very well be the media that gave us our names; our faces were on TV in Johto more often than that narcoleptic Psyduck who used to host PNF. I was too young to have much of a memory of our earliest pranks, but Big claims we started small. Of course we did; everyone has to. I do remember a few of our older pranks. Toothpaste in cream-filled cookie sandwiches, taking each other's place when one of us got in trouble, making lights flicker,... We obviously stepped up our game since then, but we used to go back to those sometimes. Big told me that we didn't need to do something complicated and dangerous for it to be funny. Of course, we got into plenty of danger. But I didn't see Big complaining.
He was a Pichu at heart well into his Pikachu years. Even fully evolved, he still did some pranks with me. But the "real" world got to him eventually. If you had told me, back in my Pichu years, that Big was gonna end up as a stuffy adult, we probably would've both zapped you. But damned if it didn't happen. He has a job now, working at a hotel in Goldenrod City. I'm so proud of him, too! But it doesn't leave us much time to just screw around together. Back when we lived in Millennium Town - we had to move when Big landed that job - we used to spend lunchtime sprawled out on a rooftop, looking through the windows of TV stations while eating whatever we managed to pilfer. Usually berries we took from the Murkrow. But we did get lucky sometimes. Cookies, chips, donuts,... There was, and might still be, a bakery on Route 58, and we would help ourselves to the rejected pastries. When we could; they figured out what we were doing pretty quickly, and made their trash harder to get to. We still risked it, though. Usually on birthdays and Christmas. Anyway, their stuff was delicious! I'll have to make it a point to check out if that place is still there, next time I'm in the area.
Besides Big and I, we had a sort of gang. Let's see... There was a Teddiursa, a Smoochum, a Magby, and a Wooper. But that's not exactly a secret; the whole gang was involved in the pranks back in our heyday. As for what happened to them, I can only speak for Smoochum and Magby. They evolved, and married each other. Big and I went to the wedding. As far as I know, they're all still alive. If a member of the Pichu Posse died, it'd be in the news. Most of our activities were. Speaking of that, don't believe what these killjoys on the news say; the worst anyone ever got from one of our pranks was the sniffles. We didn't hurt anyone. Purposely, at least; occasionally someone got banged up. But, like I said, nothing too serious. Some close scrapes, though. I remember vividly - how could I forget - damn near falling off of the roof of a skyscraper. That was when we met that famous Pikachu. I was being a dick, as was my want back then, and karma gave me a little push. I know we met that Pikachu at least once after that. About 2 years later, if memory serves. He and his friends helped us catch a train. Yes; the train I mentioned earlier. See, we overslept that day.
Big says we're going back, to see the old clubhouse. We can't stay, for 2 reasons. The first is we won't be able to play around in it, now that we're bigger. I have to admit, though, I'd pay some damn good money to see Big get stuck in one of the tires we built the place with.~ Anyway, the second reason is we obviously can't stay, since Big has the job in Goldenrod City. Honestly, that's fine with me. I just wanna see if the place is still there. It should be, but humans see things differently than us; it was home to us, but it could just be a pile of junk to them. I wonder if we'll be recognised. Big told me he met a fan in Goldenrod who pretty much recognised him right away. But that Pikachu, from what I gathered, is still famous. I hope, if I am recognised, it isn't because they're mistaking me for the other Pikachu. Anyway, that fan was supposed to be at a party at the hotel, so I showed up, too. But I didn't meet him. Not that I'd know if I had, but, hearing Big talk, this kid must be a superfan. I'd think Big would've pointed him out. According to a Delphox, apparently the kid's friend, he was there. But he had to step out. Something about a Goodra and a locket; I dunno.
The point I guess I'm trying to make is, if I could have one wish, I'd wanna be a Pichu again. And not just devolving; I wanna actually be back in my prime. I know it'll never happen, but everyone has wishes. We're heading back to Millennium Town tomorrow. I guess I'll get to see for myself what became of the place since we left. I'm sure it's changed, but I hope the changes were for the better.
*Author's Note*
Been a while; huh? I don't think I need to explain who The Pichu Brothers are; check the Pichu Brothers card I made in my gallery. But there are things I should explain.
"Big and Little:" Their actual canonical names are Pichu Big and Pichu Little. To tell them apart, look at their heads. Pichu Big has an extra tuft of fur.
"White rock:" In Ruby, Sapphire , Emerald, Omega Ruby, and Alpha Sapphire, there's a white rock in Mossdeep City, near the Space Station. Speaking to a nearby NPC reveals that people like to write down wishes on pieces of paper and stick them to the rock. The wishes come true. The rock does jack dick for the player, but there were rumours in RSE that the rock would trigger an encounter with Jirachi once certain conditions were met. It won't. The only way to get Jirachi is to have it given to you in person at an event, or using a GameCube disc that was given to people who preordered Pokémon Colosseum. I have the disc. ^_^
"Train," "helped us catch a train:" References to the 5th Pokémon short film, Camp Pikachu.
"...damn near falling off a skyscraper:" Reference to the 3rd Pokémon short film, Pikachu And Pichu.
"Clubhouse," "...one of the tires we built the place with:" The Pichu Posse lived in a clubhouse of likely their own making. The clubhouse is constructed from various bits of junk, including tires and pipes.
"Route 58:" That doesn't exist in the games. It's an inside joke. Alvin And The Chipmunks debuted in 1958.
Big's job, "superfan," "Goodra and a locket," "Delphox:" RP references. I can't explain the Goodra/locket/fanboy situation, because it involves kinks that put off many people. SMFoxy will know the specifics.
"Delcatty:" Team Rocket's Meowth has a niece. A Skitty living in Millennium Town. This is canon.
"...that narcoleptic Psyduck who used to host PNF:" In Pokémon Channel for GameCube, the objective is to watch Pokémon themed TV programmes. The news channel is called PNF, short for Pokémon News Flash. The host, a Psyduck, will occasionally fall asleep in the middle of a news report, leading to an abrupt commercial break. Narcolepsy is a disorder which causes victims to fall asleep randomly. Someone who has it is narcoleptic.
Would you like to see a part 2? I'd love to write one! Consider this a journal entry.
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By ArdillaVerde93
I mentioned in a status update that I've been a fan of Pokémon since I was 4. As such, I have been a fan for 20 years of its currently 21-year existance in the US. People say it's just a cartoon for little kids. You know what else is? My Little Pony. And look where that franchise is today. Tom And Jerry, Scooby Doo, and SpongeBob SquarePants are "just" cartoons. That doesn't mean they aren't popular. Pokémon has had a massive impact on my life. It taught me to read. My war veteran grandfather and I played together, and even traded Pokémon! I cried at Bye Bye Butterfree, and I still do. I cried for a half hour straight after Pokémon Ranger And The Temple Of The Sea. When my cousin moved back from Michigan, the first thing we talked about was Pokémon. When my dad caught me smuggling something, it wasn't drugs. It was a copy of Pokémon Silver from his house. So, obviously, I wasn't about to miss the 20th anniversary movie.
Only 2 theatres in my hometown of Sarasota, Florida, were showing it. Hollywood 20 and AMC. I chose the AMC, as a ticket was cheaper there. 2 of my 3 younger brothers accompanied me. One 17, the other 7. There was not at all any question that we would enjoy it. The 17-year-old ordered a large slushie, and the 7-year-old had a kid's meal. I ordered a cheeseburger slider combo meal. That, unfortunately, was a bad decision. It had to be cooked, and I missed the first 2 minutes. The 17-year-old assured me that all I missed was essentially Nidorino vs. Gengar, a la the Red and Blue intro. What I did see was nothing short of phenomenal, and those 2 minutes are no longer too big of a deal. About 10 minutes in, the opening credits start, accompanied by a heart-pounding rendition of the original Pokémon theme, which I lip-synced as fervently as if I was singing it at a rock concert.
I had assumed that the movie would be a retelling of the Indigo League arc of the Pokémon anime. It was, but only partially. You all know the story by now. A 10-year-old begins a journey through the Kanto region with a Pikachu. But SO much more happens! Brock and Misty are nowhere to be seen until the end credits. But Ash has 2 friends from Sinnoh who follow him. One of them happens to be the daughter of Cynthia, the Sinnoh League champion. All 3 have aspirations. Ash, of course, wants to be a Pokémon master. The girl wants her mother's acceptance. And the boy wants to become a Pokémon professor. The girl has a Piplup, and the boy has a Lucario.
So, the 3 go on a journey, as would be expected. But Ash is in possession of a Rainbow Wing. Basically, a feather from Ho-Oh. In the first episode, Ash saw Ho-Oh. The movie is basically about him chasing Ho-Oh, as well as friends and experience. He meets an abandoned Charmander, soon seen to belong to an absolute dick who kicks it when it tries to hug him. This is based on an episode, and becomes a big plot point. Ash wants to show him there are no worthless Pokémon. Along the way, Ash is followed by Marshadow, who eventually becomes the main antagonist. Ash breaks free from Marshadow's corruption, leaving Marshadow to look elsewhere for a host. Unfortunately, in the climax, Marshadow gets ahold of the Rainbow Wing, and gains massive power from it. I won't spoil the climax beyond that. It has to be seen to be believed. I spent the last half of the movie not just crying, but sobbing. Pretty much from their re-creation of Bye Bye Butterfree to the end. My 7-year-old brother repeatedly told me "it's okay."
Do I recommend this movie? Fuck. Yes. Do you love Pokémon? You'll be on the edge of your seat throughout the thrilling, theatre-shaking battles. Do you hate Pokémon? Then watch it, to see what you're missing. It's not just a cartoon. It's a heart-wrenching masterpiece that it should be criminal to miss.
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By Temaelrin
To start; I’d like to make it clear that I have no personal, or professional relationship with the developers. I have not received money, or any rewards (Digital, Material, Sexual or otherwise) to give this review. However I do have a personal bias for Frontier Developments, as I have stated in my teaser. Being a massive fan of Frontier: Elite II, I have been waiting for at least a decade for a new game in the series and here it finally is. Yes; I realise this isn’t a Game Reviews site, and it’s just a section within a Hentai community of all places but what can I say, EcchiDreams is pretty diverse, but not at the expense of ethical practices.
Minimum System Requirements are as follows:
Windows 7 Quad Core CPU (4 x 2Ghz) 4 GB System RAM (more is always better) DX 10 hardware GPU with 1GB video ram Nvidia GTX 260 ATI 4870HD Continuous Internet Connection (Internet = Always On) With four hundred billion stars, some people will say “But even if I play online, and even if everyone on Earth played and didn’t stick to one system it’d feel empty” but I’d say “Elite Dangerous makes you appreciate the unfathomable vastness of space, where you can explore and may never see human’s ever again, if you so wished and I think to be able to explore gallivant around the Galaxy is a very generous trade off… In my case I’m probably getting a very sweet deal”. There is a sense of pride and wonder when you are exploring a system that potentially no one has ever been in before, and perhaps no one will ever go to. Elite: Dangerous is set in 3301 (34th Century).
Graphically speaking Elite: Dangerous is inspiring, each point of light is an actual star within the universe, unlike the X-Series in which it seems like a fixed image wrapped around your view. Nebulae and even the galactic core gets bigger the closer you travel to them too, which really adds to the all immersion of the game.
As for resolutions, even though there aren’t monitors capable of displaying it the game can be played on 4k, 8k and even 16k resolutions. I personally use 2715x1527 (DSR by Nvidia) on a 1920x1080 screen, ultra settings (of course) and sometimes I get lost in the stunning visuals from time to time. Stars look almost fluid like, and speaking of which - every planet follows a real time orbit which means if you are in orbit of a planet and wait long enough you’ll see Day and Night cycles, and this is true with stations, some of which the planet eclipse’s the systems star which causes night to fall on them. The level of detail and design is absolutely breathtaking when you stop to look at it. I am concerned by the lack of lighting on the dark side of a planet, from cities that you’d expect to see on Earth. But from what I read this morning this will be added into the next update.
Music and sounds is by far where Elite: Dangerous knocks most games I’ve played out of the ballpark. The satisfying “Pop” when a ship explodes, the sounds of the engines (which is different in every ship I have tried so far) to the weapons systems - absolutely amazing. I have included a video of actual game play (my game play) which shows what I am talking about. Although the one thing I do have complaints about here is the quality of VoIP, which leaves a lot to be desired.
Elite: Dangerous features a fully dynamic economy and galaxy. Meaning what we (as players) do, does affect the system or galaxy (if the “thing” is big enough to) in a number of ways. As of yet I’m not sure if this is a good thing or not, as it’s a computer game I suspect an exploit in something is going to unfairly balance something and cause the carefully stacked deck of cards to come crashing down. But this as far as I am aware hasn’t happened yet, so fingers crossed?
Something a lot of people have complained about is the Docking Mechanics, now call me a fanboy but I say “Learn how to fucking dock then” and word of advice; don’t completely trust the Auto Docking Computer either - the one time I took my eyes off of it, was the one time it did something really fucked up and got stuck inside the station’s textures… How the hell it managed that - I have no idea (I wasn’t looking), certainly don’t take your eyes off it when using it with a Lakon Type 6, because that bitch will skid across the docking pad like butter in a frying pan. The Classical music (Blue Danube) is a nice touch and feel like a economically privileged bastard when I’m using it, perhaps the only time I will feel that way.
Controls took a little while to get used to, but once I got used to them they’re almost second nature, although I did change the mouse behaviour and tweaked the A and D keys for rolling to more fit my style of playing, the keys are fully customisable and whilst I haven’t had chance to try it out yet- the 360 controller does work quite well with it although a specialised Joystick and Throttle is supposedly the best way to (and the way in which your character) operate(s) the ship, but I can’t justify paying for one of those when my current set up works just nicely. Unfortunately one complain I have here with the GUI is when Hardpoints are deployed, let’s say I have a beam laser on my primary and missiles on my secondary. Primary is triggered by the left button and secondary is triggered by the right button. So why in Gaben’s name is Primary put on the right of the screen and secondary put on the left? That doesn’t seem very intuitive at all.
Then we get to Gameplay Mechanics… Currently you start off in a small Sidewinder (or Eagle if you got the Beta, like I did - I still don’t condone Pre-Ordering especially after Egosoft’s debacle) and 1,000 credits. You’re in a space station (LHS 3447 for most people, for some reason I stated at LHS 1914) and what you do from there is your business. Start a trading job, do missions, be a courier, pirate, bounty hunter, explorer, asteroid miner, whatever! The World(STRIKE) Galaxy is your oyster. It’s “Level” progression is split into three camps “Combat” “Trade” and “Exploration” of which you can “Progress” the ranks independently. There are also a number of “Super Power” groups such as the Federation, the Empire and the Alliance and countless of smaller groups, organisations, corporations and so on, each with their own missions and such.
The only loading screen I see for the whole game is the one when you go into a game, other than that there aren’t any visible loading screens. We are in the 21st 34th Century - It’s about damn time.
There is currently a serious problem that needs addressing with the Private Group feature in that if the group is split on different servers you can absolutely forget about trying to talk with them, massage them and even see/meet up with them in game. Both/All sides must restart the game just to have a chance of connecting to the same server. This is majorly off putting and at times frustrating, especially when the game decides to move you to a different instance to your friend(s) in mid-game.
Exploring
What I personally would like to see is spatial anomalies and “Weirdness” that could be backed by science, like newly formed systems, T Tauri type stars in which cloud matter surrounds them, alien races or particle fountains! I understand we’re going for realism here but then… When I checked HDE 226868 it didn’t even have a black hole in the system, let alone a star having it’s mass being “consumed” by one. As for HR 7012 I see no planetary collision, in a game that prides itself on realism with stuff we (As humans) know, this was majorly disappointing and sorely underwhelming, at this point I’m hazarding a guess that Fomalhaut doesn’t have the dust cloud, but I haven’t been there, yet. There are more bones to pick with Blackholes in the game such as time dilation and/or spaghettification, but seeing as I haven’t seen one since Beta/Gamma I have no idea if they’ve improved or not (I haven’t been to HDE 226868 since Gamma either). 'Don’t fuck me around on this, Elite' I'd protest. Other than actually going to them and seeing them myself - I know my stars and shit but basically what I am saying here is this mechanic (Exploring) could do with some work.
Some have asked “Why aren’t there Quasars?” Because there isn’t actually any in our Galaxy (that we know of), so this is accurate. Although fun fact; some scientists believe that we might have one that "comes back to life" when Andromeda and the Milkyway merge in several billion years time.
You can make a fair bit of money off Exploring, but I really didn’t bother until I got an Advanced Scanner. You can sell the exploration data to any (as far as I know) starport for some cash, as long as the explored system is 20LY or more away- fair enough… However I found there was little to no point in it unless you got yourself an Advanced Discovery Scanner, not that I am complaining about this. I think it’s great that there are extra tiers to the Discovery Scanner. Trust me you’ll want one, if your aim is to explore.
Combat
Combat is amazing, for me I find that the blue bar on the speedometer is the “Sweet Spot” that allows me to turn faster, and I highly recommend investing in a Kill Warrant Scanner if you’re a bounty hunter, you will not be disappointed. Unfortunately… As you can see in the video this is far from perfect. For example if a Federal Security Service ship nicks you (hits you accidently in combat) there’s no apologies, they’re not wanted, nor do they face repercussions. You hit anything but a target that isn’t “WANTED” and you’re in for it. 200cr fine, which seems reasonable-ish, but the problem is every fucking “Cop” will be after your blood. Yes I suspect my aim might not be good, but come on - when a ship comes up from under you quickly OBVIOUSLY seeing you’re firing then they should expect to get hit… Seems a bit “Entrapment(y)” and "Overkill" to me.
Protip: Resource Extraction Sites are the best place to “Farm” easy kills. If you’re into Piracy you might want to consider this too. I know I am. I highly recommend doing the “Combat Training Demo” before doing any combat. It should also be noted that Resource Extraction Sites are significantly more demanding on the GPU for obvious reasons.
Trade
Trade back in Beta used to be pretty awesome, especially with Slopey’s Trade Calculator tool which Frontier Developments seem to not like the use of (as it scraped market data from their servers) as a result we have to use manually updated data. This is fine with me as far as I am concerned - to a degree. You see in Elite: Dangerous there is a number of systems that I’m going to call “Open” about their trade information and such (Systems you don’t have to spend in game Credits in order to obtain the information), these systems should be allowed to be scraped for these calculators… At the very least I’d expect useful information when I buy trade data, as it currently stands it’s useless. Trade as far as I am concerned right now is pretty broken, although I did make 8/9 million off of buying Palladium at Worlidge Terminal at LHS 3447 then selling it at Cleve Hub in Eravate. Its several trips mind, and the way back to Worlidge is pretty time consuming but worth it if you have a Cobra MkIII, with lots of cargo space or a Lakon Type 6, or bigger ship with lots of cargo space. (Free tip there)
Extra Stuff
There was some controversy a month before release when Frontier Developments announced that there wasn’t going to be an offline mode, this is probably due to the fact that the game is dynamic, and action affect the Galaxy (or portions of) now the gameplay itself is endless server costs and maintenance isn’t and there is a bit of uncertainty as to what will happen. What compacts this problem is the features that will be implemented over time in Expansion Packs which is even more concerning - because I’m sensing “£40 for Expansion Pack”. Some of these features I was under the impression would be included, but eh it is what it is. What it does have going for it is that the Developers are also players of the game, and it’s something they very clearly have a lot of pride in as it can be seen in the next video, it’d definitely seem that there is much for them to do as there is for us (the players to do) and to see this kind of enthusiasm from a dev team on a game… Is heart warming.
Features we can expect to be included in these “Expansion Packs” are apparently:
Landing / driving / prospecting on airless rocky planets, moons & asteroids Walking around interiors and combative boarding of other ships Combat and other interactions with other players and AIs in the internal areas of star ports Accessing richly detailed planetary surfaces (and even cities) Availability of giant ‘executive control’ ships to players In Conclusion
Now I’m already sensing that there is going to be at least one comment saying “Star Citizen is better!” And quite frankly I don’t care, lets set something clear. We haven’t had a decent space simulator to this magnitude and quality in a very long time, certainly not with this generation of computers. But really they have a lot of differences and it’s like comparing Golden Apples, to Golden Oranges; they’re both Golden and Fruit, as well as not very edible (I’d imagine) but that’s it - they’re different. That said if the rumours of StarCitzen’s Pay2Win are overblown or false I might pick up that game too, and review it… Unfortunately; despite its flaws, Elite: Dangerous has me, well and truly hooked. Elite: Dangerous feels like and is pretty much a Work in Progress, but it’s a damn fine Work in Progress and I look forward to the new features and future updates.
I do fear for some aspects of this game’s future, I was a late backer due to money constraints (I couldn’t afford 2x Alpha copies, otherwise I’d of gotten ten) and there is a lot of work that needs to be done in some areas. However this game is fucking awesome, graphically, sounds, immersion, music, it’s hit after hit and in these areas it does feel very well polished. I do like the fact that this game is dynamic, none of those scripted cheap ass endings we saw in Mass Effect 3 and I think I will be playing it for years to come.
The problems with this game are small or are outweighed by positives. I feel most of the things wrong with this game can be fixed, and probably will be fixed at some point. It certainly did better on launch than X-Refail even if comparing those to games is like comparing a Golden Apple to a Kick in the Bollocks.
Pros:
Ability to play Solo or Private Group instead of jumping into public. Music and Sounds. Graphics, obviously. Somewhat future proofed with 4k, 8k and 16k graphics and textures. Truly Dynamic Economy. A truly dynamic galaxy, shaped by the Players actions. Immersive. VR/Oculus Compatible. Exceptional attention to detail. 400-billion fucking star systems! Extremely promising future. Absolutely free-ranged. Dedicated and passionate staff behind it. Cons:
Bugs with the Private Groups is infuriating. Systems that we know of, aren’t accurately portrayed. VoIP is dodgy, at best. VR/Oculus Compatible (I don’t have one ~envy~) Authorities over-react to NPC’s Pilot error. Trade Data is useless. It’s online only (this is a deal breaker for some). Well worth your money? If you like this genre of games then hell yes it is.
Please note that this article was originally posted up on January 23rd 2015; we have since redone our articles system and moved the review - which has given it a new "Published Date". Apologies for the inconvenience.
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By Temaelrin
[I'm not a professional reviewer just decided to make a post in here. Might make it a regular occurrence... I do have plenty of Hentai, who knows? I don't expect everyone to agree with my views or opinions, and if yours differs please feel free to reply/leave a comment. But lets keep this rational.]
I watched this the only way I could and would ever watch a Hentai; English Subbed (Because the only other language I remotely know is Russian even then... It's pretty much "Hello" and "Can I use the toilet?") and Japanese Dubbed (Because English Dubbing sends to sound shallow, flat, uninspiring and worst of all- Juvenile. In my opinion).
Kuro Ai: Hitoyozumakan Inkou Rannyuuroku A.K.A Dark Love is a very strange Hentai indeed; it starts off with a tentacle rape/tentacle fucking that should give the viewer some indication of what's to come, yet in Episode 1 this is the last time we see a good ol' fashioned Tentacle Scene. I watch this the only way I could and would ever watch a Hentai; English Subbed (Because the only other language I remotely know is Russian even then... It's pretty much "Hello" and "Can I use the toilet?") and Japanese Dubbed (Because English Dubbing sends to sound shallow, flat, uninspiring and worst of all- Juvenile. In my opinion).
The Sex Scenes are on Crack and the Characters are quite possibly on Cocaine and Speed. Welcome to Dark Love.
When I first saw this in 2010; it was immediately hailed as my favourite Hentai of all time, so it's interesting now in 2013 (nearly 2014) that I'd review it again nearly four months on and almost 9 years after episode one was released. Since 2005 the world of Hentai has changed, perhaps forever. So a lot has happened since this was released and I definitely don't think it'd be released today. To say it's "Absolutely Not For Children" would be perhaps the biggest understatement ever; some adults can't even cope with the stuff that goes on in this Hentai. But I'm a little older now, and I believe I can analyse it at least somewhat objectively with hardly any bias. Fingers crossed.
The plot according to ANN states "Tetsuya's investigation into a luxurious hotel turns over a nest of yakuza and a bizarre orgy cult. On rich silk sheets and velvet chairs, the rich and powerful participate in sex acts so depraved that just witnessing them is likely to turn a man into a monster. But the true purpose of this cult is a pact with evil energies that can literally turn Tetsuya into an inhuman demon." Well I'm glad someone has an idea what's going on; I've watched this Hentai about six times already and each time I learn more, I pick more up from it in terms of trying to follow the plot. Perhaps its because I have to read it all (Which no doubt things probably got lost in translation in) but that's not the only thing, as I said earlier the characters seem to be on some kind of speed enhancing narcotic, blink and you probably missed a key part of the story, and if that wasn't bad enough it seems the sex scenes are placed in just the correct format to completely distract you from the Story Line.
Did anyone else find it a little bit strange that Tetsuya Gojou's work can be helped by standing outside of a school for (what I assume is for) girls? Come on... I'm the first to say there are ligitmate reasons why grown men might be around a school (Teacher, Parent, etc) but even in context that's strange.
Now usually this isn't such a bad thing, distraction with some kinky pleasure, and on that regard it works. But the problem is, that's not the only thing that's distracting. The Sex Scenes contain a lot of flashing, and quite frankly high quality GIF like pictures on a 1ms transitional or something (Hence the Crack comment.) Now whilst I see what the producers were trying to do with this, I feel that it was just simply too fast with lacking frames, it was like watching a computer game lag. Then there's the fucking dialogue during the sex scenes, I find it hard to take any of them seriously anymore, even taken out of context it's annoyingly, humorously distracting at best and not in the good way.
So yeah...
On the topic of distractions during the sex if the above wasn't enough, something rather strange happened in the first sex scene. Without giving too many spoilers away (if you haven't watched it already) Miyabi came into the bedroom of Tetsuya Gojou, a phone tucked half in her thigh high as she crawled her way up Tetsuya Gojou's bed. The Phone was connected to a phone call with Ayaka Utsumi (From what I can tell; she's Tetsuya Gojou's girlfriend.) Where she could hear her lover climaxing because Miyabi was giving him a weird blowjob/titjob. Obvious Ayaka Utsumi heard this and was deeply upset that her beloved would cheat on her. So far, so good. Then the music changed, and things started getting weird. They were being watched by Hazuki Sogawa who at this point is masturbating furiously, I think pretending that that Tetsuya Gojou was doing this to her, but then strangely so was his now Ex-Girlfriend (She dumped him apparently). The sex scene jumped back and forward from this rape scene to these two women jiffing themselves off. That was confusing and I'm not entirely certain that upon hearing that news and reacting like that the first thing anyone would do is furiously masturbate over the cheating partner fucking them like this. So yeah that was a little confusing to be honest.
Apparently duc, his well-being doesn't seem to be his biggest priority at the moment.
The more I tried analysing this Hentai the more I got quite cynical about it and I didn't really know what it was. As I said previously the more times I watched it the more it appeared to change my perspective into what exactly I just watched. I love that they crammed so many fetishes into one bag but the scene were we had wiggly worms being inserted up the anus of Hazuki Sogawa... Personally not thing, and I personally don't know who on Earth would find that sexually pleasing. (But apparently it's a real thing, so I withhold my judgement on it, each to their own.)
There is a plot to this porn, but the problem with it is it's both brilliant and hard to follow mainly because of the distractions. If the plot was easier to follow, and less distractions through the whole 'Adult Cartoon' then perhaps it would have made it perfect. I also get we're trying to train 'dirty sluts' here, but I don't quite understand why a "Slut" should have to look up at the man they're blowing off. Really; from my perspective I find it awkward (That could just be me though) if anyone did it. Slut or not. But throughout the series one's not sure if they're berating or complimenting "Sluts" further adding to the confusion.
I feel Dark Love somewhat shares what I personally believe in. Although they probably push the boundaries for me a little bit further than that. It's not often in a Hentai you see a Pregnant Woman simultaneously giving a bunch of men some sexual service, but it was nice to see. Everything about it was tolerable, and even enjoyable (Save the faults listed above) then at the end she was pissed on by all of them. Well there's another boner killer right there.
I have to keep in mind that some people out there do love having a Golden Shower (Again not my thing, I do RP it though.) AND it's with (As far as we're aware) consenting adults. (Okay it's a Hentai, it's fictional. That's not what I meant.)
Episode two; starts off with Rikka Koujin blowing off Tetsuya, somewhat explaining a mission involving the Magic Potion, which was somewhat touched on in the first Episode. We can deduce that this potion fuels some kind of change to tentacle monster from Human in this Episode. I think these are filled with what ever woman he's "Courrupted"'s collection of male jizz. (I've heard that before...) This potion keeps people youthful, slutty and irresistible to- I've watched this six times and honestly I have no fucking idea what's going on. It explains a few things leaves a lot open for interpretation, moving on...
After the titles we're pretty much introduced to Honoka Houjou's sister, Kaori Mizuno, she's a married woman. Except we don't know that bit yet, she's in debt possibly because her business isn't doing so well and she has to pay the money back to what I would assume is either Yukuza or some kind of Non-Tentacle-Monster-Owning-Loan-Shark, there's a shocker. Honoka Houjou brings Hazuki Sogawa and Tetsuya Gojou in with her, at this point Honoka and Kaori are revealed to be sisters and Hazuki and Tetsuya are "Customers" After some whoopsie-daisy I dropped the drink and broke something we enter the closure of the scene after a quick comedy sibling-teasing bit. We seem to jump forward in time, and we come back to the Cafe/Shop thing only to find that now she has to pay by noon not days she was promised before. Tetsuya conveniently makes a re-appearance after the phone call, from what we can assume this is out of the blue. He apparently wants to help her, there's a short cut and he's sitting down, ordering a warm drink. Apparently big breasts means Titty Milk, whilst I won't pick on a hentai for this kind of logic, I will say that her not questioning this did ring as little odd, but perhaps she's desperate.
Kaori returns with the milk in a sippy cup, I dread to think how much that'll set him back. When she brings it over to him we have another typical "Whoopsie-daisy" moment in which her breast milk spills all over his groin.
That's some fascinating stuff. I know some people will say this Hentai is derogatory to women. I'd be happy with that statement, if on the same logic, when applying a faulty premise on a fictional cartoon that it's also derogatory to men too. I don't think I've heard Sperm and Semen reduced to dirty "Cock Juice" and said more times in any Hentai in my life. Seriously it could be turned into a drinking game. If you're one of those people (and whatever -- its your life) that finds and complains about these types of problems then perhaps Dark Love isn't for you. In fact most Hentai probably isn't either.
It seems his luck didn't get the shit end of the stick as well, as within seconds she agreed to clean him all up with her mouth. How nice... Then he got a boner and you know where that's going next. Infact the first time I saw this episode I distinctly remember when I first heard about the Coffee shop saying "HURR! You know where that's going!" Well unsurprisingly it went there, and then some.
After the blowjob we're left with Tetsuya telling her how she was going to pay back her debt, assumingly it involved selling them off. We also get a nice squiggly line away from her mouth from what I assume is a pube. I know I wanted realism but really?
Yes. Really.
As I went through the plot, I felt it was rushed when she just started handing out sexual favours so willingly, but then I don't consider myself part of the society that's around me... So I have no idea if a married woman would do this so quickly, I doubt it. Then within ten minutes she sold herself and her sister off to pay her debts. Then less than ten minutes after all this started there was a free for all, fuck and cum inside party between her and her sister with a room full of men (apparently). To which they were berated and fucked and then pissed all over again. (This time they made the mentioning of drinking it all down. What ever rocks your boat?) The sex scenes were hilarious in dialogue, animation, and content. I'm also pretty sure that this DVD should contain an Epilepsy Warning, because it just wasn't fun. As fictional (IE. Not real, as in they're not real people) storylines go, it'd probably be alot better if the dialogue was cleaned up, if I could edit Subs in the video I'd probably do it just so I could stop complaining about it. But if the scenes weren't so distracting. There's also a lot of "I'm going to Climax"... I mean repeatedly. I thought this may have been Translation issues but later it was "I'm coming" which to be honest reads better.
I feel if I were wanking off to this, I'd end up like this guy...
I feel this Hentai is supposed to be a boundary pusher, and that's pretty much mission accomplished. In terms of Fetishes, I feel it hits a niche market, so I have to say that's quite daring. We have Pregnancy, Impregnation, Cheating, Bondage, Golden Showers, Inserting Wiggly-Worms up the butt, Tentacle, Dominance, A little Girl on Girl and a dash of romance (I suppose, in the second episode) and it mixes them quite well. It's pretty good at combining these to make a sex scene. Not all of them appealed to me but then it wasn't made just for me. All of this I felt was let down by the extremely low-quality rapid GIF like animations for the sex scenes, the plot was hard to follow and after watching a total of six times in my life, I still have no fucking clue what's REALLY going on. It didn't help that the distractions, distracted from it. Yet you'd be hard pressed to find the fetishes the series covered so it's a tough call. I do feel there maybe capacity for a third and last episode if anything it could tie up a few things and end the story completely but perhaps leaving it on a cliff hanger was intentional. Either way this Hentai IS inspiring particularly if you're Roleplaying something similar. It definitely could have been an actual season (say containing four to six episodes) if the time was taken to properly explain the plot and to spread it out across. That's the main problem with this Hentai; it's on crack; it's just cramming everything into two 30 minute videos and I feel that is ultimately Dark Love's downfall. Perhaps with it spread like that they wouldn't have needed to make the sex scenes look rushed (not just fast but rushed too). Considering this was my favourate hentai I don't say that lightly.
There are a lot of good elements in there, but then a lot of it is ruined by the faults and ultimately; this Unique Hentai could have done really well. But it's a shame. The dialogue is cheesy and lame although the story telling is pretty good, if you can keep up. Overall not the worst hentai I've ever watched... It's awkward, jutty and just simply... It's not the best hentai I've ever seen. But it's still my favourate for now, which proves you don't have to be perfect to be liked.
I don't mean to sound big headed and righteous, hell I don't think I could do better personally. It's worth watching if you're into a lot of things it does and if you Roleplay and need ideas it's perhaps perfect if you're looking for that sort of thing.
Of course I probably have better and worst ones with this kind of collection:
Please note that this article was originally posted up on November 24th 2013; we have since redone our articles system and moved the review - which has given it a new "Published Date". Apologies for the inconvenience.
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