When You Prefer Roleplaying as the Opposite Gender in ERP

[Amiya]

Hi everyone,

I created this account in hopes to find some discussion on how people prefer to roleplay as their opposite gender in ERP (Erotic Roleplaying). I've been looking on the internet and there does not seem to be any threads that talk about roleplaying as the opposite gender specifically in ERP.

Have you ever roleplayed as the other gender? Does your feelings about your own gender IRL play into your preferences? If you prefer roleplaying as a gender other than your own, why do you prefer it? What are your other thoughts on the subject?

I understand that there are those who don't stick to the two-gendered concept IRL, but I'd value any thoughts you have on the subject. For those of you who haven't really thought about the questions I mentioned above, I invite you to reflect on it and answer. I'd love to hear any input from those who have this, for lack of a better word, 'quirk' about themselves.

I'll go first.

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In my case, I'm a man who preferred to roleplay as women in the past. I'm now retired since the ERP had gotten out of control in my life. However, I always found this part of me interesting since this preference started very early. I even started my RP career with female characters.

I'm pretty sure it started because it was easier to get partners that way. Then it grew into something else. I think I found that I liked feeling like someone/something completely other than myself. Even when I was good enough at ERP to get partners with my male characters, I felt something was missing.

I figured out that I liked the smut I was writing more when I played female characters. I guess I had trouble finding the right roleplaying partner as a guy and I felt like they didn't write the women quite how I wanted them to. When I was writing the women, however, I could control exactly how they reacted and what they did. I could write the women to play out the fantasies I'd have as a man, and that is what got me off. I just needed someone to roleplay the partner, whether it was male, female, or in between, and I found a happy medium.

Although it still mattered how my partner wrote, it didn't matter as much as long as they could help facilitate along my fantasy. My character could carry the rest, if needed. I sort of used my female characters as sex dolls, in a sense. They still had personalities and back stories for those longer stories, but I made my characters with the focus on how good they looked and how good they were in bed.

On a side note, I may have preferred playing male characters if I found the right partners. What mattered to me was how the scenario played out, regardless of who I was. But then again, maybe not. Maybe being the opposite gender helped me detach from myself to get into character more.

I don't have any gender confusion or the like. I find I'm pretty happy to be a guy. Although my roleplaying as women caused some doubt earlier in my life, I believe it just confirmed I was definitely a guy. I found the characters I was controlling as attractive, not who my partner was controlling. It was easier to fulfill my fantasies that way.

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Again, I'd appreciate your input, even if you think I'm a creep. At least tell me why you think so and be willing to talk with me about it. I'm hoping to get a better understanding from other people and some more understanding of this part of myself.

Thanks for reading.

[Cute_Bro]

Well for one, I wouldn't say you are a creep, at all. Despite it not being always erotic, there have been a considerable number of people that have roleplayed as a character of a gender not akin to their own. I personally have rped as female while being a male myself (hell I've even played as a futa), and not once has it really made me question my gender identity, nor my sexuality. I am confident in saying I am a cishet male, despite having roleplayed various times as a female in various scenarios involving men and women in-character. Personally I have roleplayed in both normal and erotic roleplays as a female, mostly due to NPC creation in a D&D campaign, or just because I wanted to create a female character to play as (Dragonborn Ascendant Dragon Monk, one of my favorite characters I have cooked up). While I wouldn't say I personally prefer to play as a female, I certainly have no issue in doing so, and it is especially fun to do so as an NPC, where I can use various characters of differing genders to give a more real-world feel to the game to the person/people I am DMing, instead of it being an MC-focused world where he/she/them are solely the center of every single interaction. I also roleplay as a female in separate private roleplays to perfect the personalities of women that perhaps as a male I may not be able to portray innantely.

 

One of the reasons I believe that some may find it weird is that some create characters to rp as extensions of themselves, or straight up themselves. This isn't an attack to those people in any way, however I personally choose to keep the characters I roleplay separate to myself, only sprinkling little things of me to make them all the more enjoyable for me to play us. I mean, I'm a 22 year old who prefers roleplaying as a wolf-shota, as far apart from me as possible X3. Very rarely do I ever create a character to rp that is an extension of myself, someone I can insert myself into and it'd be plausible that that character would stay the same. It is my belief that this difference between characters that you just create, and characters that you create as an extension of yourself, may be the deciding factor on if you are ok roleplaying as a gender, or with a sexual orientation if it applies, different from yourself.

 

But you know, I'm just a rando on the internet, I ain't no psychologist what do I know? X3

[Amiya]

17 minutes ago, Cute_Bro said:

Well for one, I wouldn't say you are a creep, at all. Despite it not being always erotic, there have been a considerable number of people that have roleplayed as a character of a gender not akin to their own.

Thanks for that. I appreciate your understanding. You're definitely right that a lot of people that have roleplayed their opposite gender. You hit the nail on the head that its just a character, after all. However, I'm not entirely sure how common it is for someone to prefer playing the opposite gender. I'm hopeful that there is enough people to have some discussion here, though.

 

20 minutes ago, Cute_Bro said:

Personally I have roleplayed in both normal and erotic roleplays as a female, mostly due to NPC creation in a D&D campaign, or just because I wanted to create a female character to play as (Dragonborn Ascendant Dragon Monk, one of my favorite characters I have cooked up). 

Nice, I tried my hand at DMing a small campaign. Tons of fun cooking up interesting NPCs. And I felt just fine roleplaying out the female characters.

 

24 minutes ago, Cute_Bro said:

I also roleplay as a female in separate private roleplays to perfect the personalities of women that perhaps as a male I may not be able to portray innantely.

That is interesting to me. So you roleplay as a female to challenge and expand your roleplaying abilities? Could you go into that more? I'm not sure how 'good' I got at roleplaying women, even if I did a ton of it.

 

27 minutes ago, Cute_Bro said:

One of the reasons I believe that some may find it weird is that some create characters to rp as extensions of themselves, or straight up themselves. This isn't an attack to those people in any way, however I personally choose to keep the characters I roleplay separate to myself, only sprinkling little things of me to make them all the more enjoyable for me to play us. I mean, I'm a 22 year old who prefers roleplaying as a wolf-shota, as far apart from me as possible X3. 

I agree, and just like you, I don't create characters as extensions, but sometimes I'll sprinkle aspects of myself in them. I found that the less I put myself in my characters, the more interesting they were. Or I guess, the more creative I could be with them. But I'd like to keep a little of myself so it still feels natural to think of actions and words my character would say. It was fun to roleplay all sorts of characters.

 

Thanks for your response, fellow rando on the internet :)

[Cute_Bro]

To elaborate, yes I look for every chance to hone what I know and to perfect the personalities I wish to roleplay, so as to eventually be able to roleplay various, if not all, personalities possible. I wouldn't say good per se (Me? Ego? Ha, lack of more like), I would more say, trying to be more authentic, if that makes sense.

[Amiya]

@Cute_Bro Right, the authenticity makes sense. I think there are small differences that you might notice between a female or male character, such as mannerisms. For the most part, however, I think I had mostly played them the same. I never had anyone call me out on how I played women, so I'm guessing I did fine.

[bumpnrun]

I certainly do the same thing, often writing as a woman because it is a total turn-on. I guess as a horny teen I realized that if I had been born a woman I probably would have been a huge slut. When I first began writing erotica and role playing, I found that finding women interested in the topics I like to be sporadic at best and yet there were men drooling for women to write for them. I wondered if I could be convincing writing as a woman. I tried it and I was hooked. It seems so much easier to let the filthy thoughts flow.

[Gangsta Moll Deactivated]

On 25/10/2022 at 20:59, Cute_Bro said:

One of the reasons I believe that some may find it weird is that some create characters to rp as extensions of themselves, or straight up themselves

 

Yes  I realise this about myself: I am playing me, myself, even when I try to be more exotic or adventurous. And I am fully engaged, the real me, in what I write: aroused by it (usually..) or thoughtful, or moody - so that the real me writes into the character but also the character's reactions eliciting the same feelings in me.

Which is fine, I am new to this and Stanislavsky says to be the character not act it but I think in time I would like to try to distance myself, play more adventurously, act in roles very different from the real me.

Thank you for raising this, it is a thought provoking comment.

[Ast9lfo]

I really like RPing as my opposite sex, but overall any gender is fine with me. I didn't realize how feminine I've become because of it, but I'm glad because I finally had the urge to wear a bunch of clothes and I enjoy it.

[Elena Ichinomiya]

On 26/10/2022 at 02:25, Amiya said:

Have you ever roleplayed as the other gender? Does your feelings about your own gender IRL play into your preferences? If you prefer roleplaying as a gender other than your own, why do you prefer it? What are your other thoughts on the subject?

Yes i have. In my experience, it takes time to get used to. I'm not implying i RP as opposite gender even though i'm not into it, my actual reason is to expand my availability to other RPer. You might be surprised to see some people are actually good RPing the opposite gender character. I do consider my gender into preference for RP but not as mandatory requirement (again, to expand my availability). If there's an RP which require me to play as the opposite gender and i feel i can do it, then i do it. Its all coming back to ability and comfort zone considered.

As for my thought about the subject, i would say if someone don't feel like to RP as opposite gender, they better make their peace right away because one, it would be awkward (guarantee). Two, some people might take it as form of offense (worse, thinking you're being stereotype toward one gender). And three, if RPing as your preferred gender is already work to begin with, why bother?

[Aura]

I play as the opposite gender far more than my own gender. I actually used to talk about it quite a lot. I think a significant factor is that I find it easier to write characters that aren't just self-inserts when I take away traits I personally identify with. Another reason is simply that it's easier to get turned on by a character I've specifically designed to be sexually appealing to myself. That may sound a little selfish, but I just find it far more fun that way. As you mentioned, it's a lot easier to get partners if you're willing to play female characters as well. Though, ironically, over time I've found that men typically don't like the type of characters I tend to write. I think for a lot of guys roleplay is more of a power fantasy, which is fair, but not really my thing.

There was a dark period of my life where I was full of self doubt and I think these preferences led me to some regrettable decisions, to the point where I started to convince myself I was trans irl. And while I have absolutely nothing against the transgender community, I can personally say that calling yourself trans when you're cis is not healthy. And I don't think that would be controversial to say among the trans community, either. It's one thing to experiment and see what works for oneself, but I learned through that dark period of my life that it's not a decision that should be made from a sense of failure.

Obviously, there are downsides to playing a gender I am not. Mainly, I have absolutely no clue beyond what a man would know about a woman's body. I have no clue what periods are even like beyond that it hurts, cramps are involved, and you bleed downstairs a lot. And likewise with pregnancy or what it feels like to have your G-Spot hit. Hell, I don't even know how girls put on half the clothes I like to see. I just have vague abstract ideas of these sorts of specifics and try to hand wave them whenever I can or just not address them altogether.

Also, I generally like female characters more in video games and the like as well. I've always gravitated toward women more because men have always made me feel inadequate growing up. I guess there's a lot of trauma in that department that pushes me to prefer hanging out with women, to appreciate female characters in general, and to generally identify more with women despite not actually identifying as a woman. I can ramble a lot on this whole topic, so I'll try to cut this post here in the interest of staying on-topic with the thread itself.

[SpinMaster]

I haven't really done it in a while, but every time I play my opposite gender, I find myself playing a female who embraces how sexy and cute and elegant they are, even to a point where they are hyper-sexualized. My headcanon involves a woman not holding herself back and being honest with herself and what she can do, especially when it comes to sex & pleasure. It's a bit of a combination of reacting to real world issues and seeing alot of lewd art.