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Posted

Background:

 It was sad to see a forum game as old as forums themselves missing from the collection... I simply had to rectify the matter, but before the game itself, let me tell you a story.

 Gather round the ASCII campfire my children, for a tale as old as the world itself. There once was a hill out in some unspecified land, and everybody wanted it. The end, now go and get it.

The Game:

Capture the Hill by any means necessary, whether you want to or not.

. Tell how you captured the Hill in the post and set up defenses as necessary.

. Overcome the defenses with each post made before you take what's rightfully yours.

Da Rulez:

. There are no impenetrable defenses nor unstoppable advances.

. Permadeath won't happen unless the user just lets it.

. Have fun.

 

 So, I guess I must begin.

I walk up to the hill and raise my fists into the air, claiming it as my own.

Posted

 The woman known as Generic Name took a great tumble as she rolled down the hillside, but when reaching the bottom, she got right back up.

 She says to herself as she cross-countries her way back up, "I think I'm about to turn this mountain man into a hilltop boy," before promptly falcon-kicking him into the stratosphere.

 Afterwards, she puts up a watchtower and stands atop it, ready to jump down and punch whatever comes for her land.

Posted

That's a wonderful tower you have here. 'twould be an awful shame if someone...

Laid siege to it. 

With his army of one plus his cat, Rucio would lay siege to Castle Hill, and gently pat the head of miss Generic Name as he chucks her into the dungeon. "Bleep Bloop, you've just been beseiged." I would tell her before promptly sitting in the throne I just made, feeling pretty good about myself.

Posted

 I sit in the dark sungeon beneath the tower, plotting my escape. It takes seconds, minutes, hours, mealtimes for me to realize the cell door was unlocked the whole time. I walk out of the tower, feeling the moonlight against my face.

 "Well, the escape was easy, now for the fun part." I pull the keystone out of the doorway's arch, causing the great building to topple over into little more tham a bleeding pile of stone bricks.

 I stand atop the bricks and take a seat at my former watchplace, holding a brick to toss at the next challenger.

  • 4 months later...
Posted

Overhead, Isabella's hired plane air drops the ACME Instant Hilltop (Extra Large) TM directly over the existing hill, covering @Generic Name and @Imouto Kanna under a roughly hill-shaped metal shell, creating a new hill atop the rubble, people, and old hill.

Then Isabella parachutes down and lands atop this new hill stating loudly, "Now it's my hill."

  • 3 weeks later...
Posted

While trapped under Kerzin, she radios for the chopper that dropped the ACME Instant Hilltop (Large) TM, and issues a set of orders. The chopper swoops it, drops a set of ropes down which loop around his limbs, and lifts him up off of her, carrying him away into the sunrise.

She sits back up, brushing panda fur off of herself, and says loudly, "Queen of the Hill again!"

Posted

He uses this new found rope to climb up into the helicopter. After a hostile take over he realizes that flying is much harder then he though. But gets it turnt around to fly back to the hill. Making a low pass over the hill he jumps out to land on Isabella, one again becoming to king as the helicopter crashed into the ground pass them exploding in a Michael bay style of boom

Posted

Squirming out from under him, she dashes down the hill. Although her air support is gone, she radios for an artillery strike on the hilltop. As the shells rain down and he dashes for cover, she rushes the hill with her infantry units, setting up a command bunker atop the hill and fortifying it with machine gun turrets and a battalion of soldiers. Sitting in the command chair behind a wall of highly trained personal guard, inside the bunker protected by machine gun turrets, she picks up the microphone to announce over the external loudspeakers, "Queen of the Hill."

Posted

He called in the Mark 12 Extremis Heavy Assault Mech code named Panda. He climbs into the giant mech version of himself and powers it all up. He fires several small machines into the hill. The machines form together into a massive hydraulic spring to launch the ACME Instant Hilltop (Large) TM, off into the distance where he then get out of the mech. He climbs up the hill once more. King of the Hill!

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

She gets up from where the hydraulic spring flung her and her ACME Instant HIlltop (Large) TM and brushes herself off. Setting her jaw in grim determination, she calls upon the power of the universe and chants the words of a magic spell. Eldritch energies swirl about her, changing her, enlarging her, altering the very fabric of her being. Soon she is a twelve story high maid, complete with sexy french maid outfit and a three story high feather duster, which she uses to brush Kerzin and anything else off of the hilltop. As he tumbles down the hill, she steps onto it and slowly shrinks back to normal size. She stands atop the hill, oddly still in her fill maid outfit, with her fists on hips and declares herself, "Queen of the Hill!"

Posted

Kerzin gets blown away by the giant sexy maid, it was a lovely upskirt view after all. But then the feather duster sent him flying he knew the was war! He tumbles down the hill with glee for this is his favorite way to get down. He gets up and brushes off the dust before opening his third eye, letting then zen if the universe in. He folds time and space to steal a big roll of bubble wrap. And then once more to jump through to being on the hill  again. He swiftly wraps her up arms to her side with the bubble wrap. He bends her over his knee, gives her a spanking, then sends her rolling down the hill. Now the king once more. 

  • 1 month later...
Posted

Isabella comes to rest at the bottom of the hill, dizzy, her arms trapped in a roll of bubble wrap, and with burning hand prints on her butt. She takes a moment to calm herself (spankings are foreplay, don't start what you're not going to finish!), and then works her way out of the roll of bubble wrap. It takes a bit of time, and when she emerges, she's still decked out as a french maid.

She immediately calls for backup, and when it arrives, it's a squad of French maid Legionnaires, expertly trained in taking down male enemies. She gives the order, and they rush Kerzin atop the hill. He has just enough time to see ten gorgeous French maid Legionnaires dogpile him in a flailing flurry of short skirts, ruffles, lace, and fishnet stockings. They use all of their feminine wiles to distract him and lead him down off the hill at which time Isabella climbs back atop the hill and declares herself,

QUEEN OF THE HILL!

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