Jump to content

Lovesick Chapter 1: With Friends Like These

By ArdillaVerde93 ,
in Creative Corner

Recommended Posts

Grand Master

ArdillaVerde93

Posted
Posted


  *This fanfiction is written and posted with the express permission of Neptune.*

  *The Tyler in this isn't the Tyler I use for roleplaying. That Tyler is based on this Tyler, who is from a series of fanfictions written by me and a friend I am no longer in touch with.*

  *This story is for mature audiences only, and contains sexual themes, abuse, swearing, implied pedophilia, incest, and Poképhilia. Reader discretion is advised.*

                                            
                                          *Chapter 1: With Friends Like These*

  *Time and date: Unimportant.*
  *Location: Realgam Tower, Orre.*

  Realgam Tower. An oasis amongst the treacherous waters, harsh deserts, and, previously, high crime rate, that the Orre region is known for. Ever since Team Rocket had attempted a hostile takeover of the Kanto region in the mid-nineties, only to be thwarted by a heroic 10-year-old, other criminal organizations followed suit(again, only to be stopped by children.). Despite the chaos, however, some places seemed untouched. Realgam Tower was one of those places. The giant, pearl-white spire climbed so high as to appear to pierce the heavens. Situated atop this massive structure was a grand battlefield, which had played host to several amazing battles in the past. Our story begins with the tail end of such a battle.

  A lone Pikachu darted around the pristine battlefield, attempting to evade the 2 Pokémon pursuing it. They were an Espeon and an Umbreon, and, try as they might, they simply weren't quick enough to catch up to the yellow blur. However, the Pikachu was clearly beginning to tire, and her expression was one of fear as she gazed worriedly into the eyes of her trainers. One was a boy wearing cat ears atop a head of messy black hair. The other was a girl with long, blonde hair, wearing oval frame, jet-black glasses. Both of them were dressed very formally, considering the occasion. Apparently, neither one was nearly as worried as their Pikachu was, which was evidenced when one of them, the girl, spoke up. "It's time to finish this; Wolfie! Use Discharge!" She spoke with a distinct British accent. As if she were waiting for her trainer to say that all along, the Pikachu turned around, coming face to face with her opponents. "Piiiiiiiiiiii...kaaaaaaaaa...CHHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!"

  Sparks flew from the yellow mouse's blood red cheeks, followed quickly by a blinding flash, which spread across nearly the entirety of the battlefield. Luckily, the trainers, as well as the countless audience members, were kept safe via special barriers. The Pikachu's attackers, however, weren't so lucky; their trainers watched in horror as the 2 Pokémon were engulfed in the flash. When the bright light faded, the Espeon and Umbreon were sprawled out on the cold stadium floor, unconscious, with parts of their fur charred. A referee dashed onto the battlefield and waved a red flag towards the trainers of the unconscious duo. "Espeon and Umbreon are unable to battle! Wolfie the Pikachu is the winner! Victory goes to the challengers!"

  A deafening roar of applause and cheering erupted from the audience. The victorious team ran out onto the middle of the battlefield and raised their fists in joy, as the haunting chorus of Lacuna Coil's "Our Truth" rang out from large speakers strategically placed throughout the stadium. Soon, the booming voice of an announcer added to the noise. "Here are your winners, and the new Orre League tag team champions, the team of Neptune and Wolfie; Teeeeeeeeam... ESPUUUUUUSSSSSSS!!!!!!" The announcer's voice faded out, only to be replaced by that of a commentator. "I don't believe it! Team Espus did it! You saw it right here, folks; Team Espus are the new champions, and what better way to end the battle than with such an amazing comeback. Nobody, it seems, can stop that Pikachu!"

  The cheering, as well as the blaring of Our Truth, continued for about a minute, before the winners left the battlefield with a pair of shining golden badges. Eventually, though, the roar of applause died down, and the audience was quiet. The booming voice of the unseen announcer cut through the relative silence. "And, now, as a special treat, we have one final match for you today, between 2 Hall Of Famers! Everyone, sit back and enjoy as we introduce the competitors!"

  Some of the audience members looked around at each other, wondering who could possibly be competing. After all, the Hall Of Fame contains a good number of names, each with astonishing prowess and skill. They weren't kept in suspense for much longer, though; a loud *BANG!* made several spectators jump, and several others cheer wildly. The aforementioned noise was accompanied, and caused, by an explosion of fire that came from one of the entrances used by the competitors. At the same moment, a punk rock style cover version of Michael Jackson's "Smooth Criminal" began to play. A male, who looked to be in his very early 20s, entered the stadium. He had a crew cut, but what little hair he did have was chocolate brown, a near perfect match for his eyes. As for his clothing, he wore a black t-shirt with the logo of the rock band AC/DC emblazoned on it, accompanied by camoflage shorts and black sneakers. "Introducing first," the announcer began, "from Mauville City, Hoenn! He is the current Hoenn League champion, and a Hall Of Famer! Kevin Houghtaling(pronounced "ho-TAH-ling.")!"

  As Kevin neared the actual battlefield, it became obvious that he was holding a microphone "Uh-oh," the commentator spoke up. "It looks like Houghtaling's got something to say!" Sure enough, Kevin walked over to the center of the battlefield and began putting the microphone to good use. "Calm down, everyone! Holy shit; I'm gonna be here a while!" The raucous cheering died down, and Kevin began to laugh. "Well, well, well! It's been a while; hasn't it, Orre?" This was met with a bit more applause. "Now, let me be perfectly honest. I love this place(more applause.), but it wasn't my idea to come here; you see, a good friend of mine convinced me. He got me to realize that, despite everything you've seen from us, we haven't gone up against each other in front of an audience. Well, no more! Ladies and gentlemen, give a warm welcome to my opponent!"

  Again, the audience fell quiet, and, again, it didn't last long. Moments later, 2 booming notes, which sounded like an electric guitar trying to sing, blared from the speakers, signalling the beginning of It's My Life by Bon Jovi, and making a good number of audience members jump. A short interlude later, another pair of deep warbles filled the stadium. Another short interlude was followed by one more blast of sound, this one accompanied by the vocals kicking in. Each one of the first 4 "talk box" notes were punctuated by the detonation of small fireworks. Finally, on the 5th booming note, several fountain-style fireworks went off, sending bright pink sparks into the air. With that, another boy entered the stadium. Judging from his appearance, though, one may well have mistaken him for a girl. His appearance was very much the antithesis of Kevin's. The boy's hair fluttered all the way down to his back, a mass of golden blonde strands. He wore a noticeable amount of makeup, including shimmering pink nail polish and matching eye shadow. His clothing consisted of a white lab coat over a red t-shirt, as well as khaki shorts and white sneakers. Around his neck, he wore a long, beautiful fur scarf, white as snow, and soft and fluffy as can be. "Introducing his opponent," the announcer said. "From Goldenrod City, Johto, he is a former Gym Leader, and a former Johto League champion,... Doctor Tyler Miller!"

  When Kevin had entered, he kept his gaze straight ahead, for the most part. Tyler, however, was blowing kisses to the crowd. Despite this, some of the audience members clearly didn't want to have him there. Some people held up signs with such hurtful things as "fur is murder," "go home, faggot," "Arceus hates fags," and even "Leviticus 18:22," written on them. Tyler paid them no mind as he kept walking. Truth be told, he had much bigger things to worry about than hecklers. He wasn't fighting for himself, nor was he fighting for the audience. He was fighting for a dear friend. Kevin, as well as the audience, obviously didn't know this, but this battle was almost literally a matter of life and death. Rather than addressing the audience, as Kevin did, Tyler simply took his place at the edge of the boundaries on the field, ready to begin. At least, that's what it seemed like to the crowd; in his mind, as much as he loved the roar of the crowd, Tyler wanted almost nothing more than to be back home. He wanted to be at the side of his friend.

  Seconds later, the same referee from earlier returned to the field, with a microphone. "The following is a standard knockout match between Doctor Tyler Miller and Kevin Houghtaling. Despite Kevin being the Hoenn League champion, both combatants have decided not to put the title on the line. Both competitors will use 6 Pokémon, and the match will end when all Pokémon on either side are rendered unable to battle. Trainers! Are you ready?!" Tyler and Kevin both nodded, nearly in unison. "Send out your Pokémon, and let the battle begin!" Immediately, the 2 veteran trainers grabbed 1 Pokéball each from their belts. "Serperior! You're up first!" "Pidgeot! I choose you!" 2 bursts of light sprayed forth from both Pokéballs, then materialized into the aforementioned Pokémon.

"This is unprecedented!" the commentator pointed out. "What we are bearing witness to is nothing short of a clash of titans!" As he spoke, Pidgeot and Serperior fought on. The fight didn't last long, though; as powerful and well-trained as Kevin's Serperior was, Pidgeot had a type advantage, not to mention higher mobility. She swooped down suddenly, knocking out Serperior rather handily with a Brave Bird attack. The unlucky Serperior simply didn't stand a chance. "Serperior is unable to battle!" the referee declared. Several audience members cheered, while the hecklers from before booed and hissed. "A great start for Tyler, making short work of Serperior!" the commentator noted. "What Pokémon will Kevin choose to go head to head with Pidgeot's lightning speed?" Kevin scowled as he looked at the sprawling, serpentine body of his now-unconscious Serperior. "You're good, Ty," he admitted, returning Serperior to his Pokéball via the ubiquitous red beam seen in the Pokémon anime. "We've only just begun to play with you, though." "Give it up!" Tyler warns. "I know all of your tricks!" Kevin, far from being intimidated, actually laughed. "That may be true, my friend, but I know yours, too. And believe me(he primed another Pokéball as he said this.), your fun ends here! Hydreigon! Clip that bird's wings!"

  What emerged from Kevin's second Pokéball, even as far as Hydreigon go, was nothing short of monstrous. Even a few audience members cowered before the demonic hydra. "And Kevin brings out Hydreigon!" the commentator said. "A force to be reckoned with, for sure! I think that poor Pidgeot may be outmatched!" "Listen to the man," Kevin taunted, but Tyler seemed unfazed. When his majestic Pidgeot turned to face him, he smirked. "We planned for this; remember what we talked about." This just made Kevin laugh. "As if any plan of yours could make a difference! Hydreigon! Blast that giant pest out of the sky with a Hyper Beam!" Hydreigon reared back, then shot a golden beam from its center mouth. Tyler's Pidgeot nimbly dodged with a swift, steep climb, then dove just as steeply, heading straight for her opponent. Hydreigon was hit point-blank with a Brave Bird attack, but seemed only to take almost a negligible amount of damage before firing another Hyper Beam as Pidgeot circled around him for another attack. She was hit dead on, letting out a squawk of anguish before falling to the stadium floor, defeated. "Pidgeot is unable to battle!"

  "Ooh, and Pidgeot makes a crash landing!" the commentator half-joked, over the roar of the crowd. "Not to mention, Hydreigon looks almost unfazed by the same attack that took out Serperior! Doctor Miller is gonna have to step his game up if he doesn't want that behemoth to rip his team apart." "So much for your plan!" Kevin taunted, as Tyler recalled Pidgeot in the same way that Kevin recalled Serperior. "Ready to give up?" "Not a chance!" Tyler scoffed, readying another Pokéball. "You fell right into my trap! Butterfree, show him how it's done!" Kevin, not to mention a good portion of the audience, started laughing as Butterfree emerged from her Pokéball, ready to fight. "A Butterfree?!" the commentator asked in disbelief. "What could Tyler be thinking?" "Are you out of your mind?!" Kevin exclaimed. "Arceus dammit, Ty! I thought you were smarter than this!" "I thought you were, too," Tyler retorted, a smirk creeping across his face, "but people make mistakes. Butterfree, use Quiver Dance!"

  With a trill, Butterfree shot up into the air and began a graceful, twirling midair dance. The audience oohed and ahhed at her agility and grace. Suddenly, though, she fluttered over to Hydreigon and continued her lovely dance, while circling around him. "I... I don't believe it!" the commentator said in disbelief. "Butterfree is... She's taunting Hydreigon! Does she have some sort of death wish?!" "She must," Kevin answered under his breath. "Swat that annoying bug, Hydreigon! Dragon Claw!" Hydreigon stayed put, and Butterfree unharmed. "What the Hell is going on?! I said 'Dragon Claw!'" Kevin's frustration served to amuse Tyler, who started giggling. "You don't get it; do you? You used Hyper Beam! Hydreigon used up a lot of energy; he's tired!" A few seconds passed before Kevin spoke again. "FUUUUUUCK!!!!!!" "There you go!" Tyler said in a voice dripping with false praise. "You're smarter than I give you credit for! Now, Butterfree! Silver Wind!" Butterfree flew away from Hydreigon and began flapping her wings at high speed. Seconds later a cloud of glittering silver dust had been kicked up, which Butterfree's wingbeats sent straight towards Hydreigon. The dust enveloped him, scraping away at his tough hide. He howled and roared in agony before falling over, hitting the stadium floor with a sickening *THUD!!*. Even the referee didn't quite believe what had just happened. "Hydreigon is... i-is unable to battle!"

  "I don't believe it!" the commentator shouted. "Butterfree has slain the dragon! She toppled Hydreigon with a beautiful Silver Wind! Fighting like that is how Tyler became the champion back in Johto!" The crowd, meanwhile, was in hysterics; even some of the rude hecklers who wanted Tyler gone earlier were cheering for him after bearing witness to his marvelous skills. Kevin snarled as he recalled Hydreigon, then immediately readied another Pokéball. "Alright, Tyler; even I have to admit, that was pretty damn good. Don't think for a second you're gonna win this, though. No matter how well your Pokémon are trained, they're still cute and cuddly. Hear this: we're going to tear you apart! Carracosta! I choose you!"

  For the most part, the rest of the battle was straightforward. As it turned out, Tyler and Kevin were more or less evenly matched; they practically took turns losing Pokémon. Butterfree tried another Silver Wind, but it barely left a scratch on Carracosta's shell. Even worse, that left Butterfree open, and within striking distance. One Stone Edge from Carracosta put her away in no time; she was smashed into the stadium floor. Tyler sent out a Bellossom to replace her. Carracosta was no match for Bellossom's superior agility, and was quickly felled by a gorgeous Petal Dance. Kevin's next Pokémon, however, was a Gardevoir, who had no trouble getting rid of Bellossom, brutally slamming her into one of the barriers around the stage with a powerful Psychic attack. She soon met her match, though, when she couldn't keep up with Tyler's Furret, subsequently getting hit with an Iron Tail. Kevin brought out a Lopunny to take on Furret, which she did with aplomb. Furret attempted a Slash, but Lopunny caught her in midair with a devastating High Jump Kick. A horrifying cracking noise filled the stadium before Furret hit the stadium floor hard and lost consciousness. Tyler was getting desperate to win by this point. His next Pokémon was a Goodra. Lopunny, being quicker, was able to deal significant damage with another High Jump Kick, but, when she tried to do a 3rd one, she missed and fell over, injuring herself and allowing Goodra to finish her off with a Dragon Pulse. That brought Kevin down to his last Pokémon; a Lucario. Victory was within Tyler's grasp.

  "I can't believe you've brought me to this, Ty!" Kevin growled. "Dude, I was a champion!" Tyler reminded him. Kevin scoffed. "Well, you're still not getting the best of me! Lucario! Use Extreme Speed!" What happened next went by so quickly, Goodra didn't even have time to react, let alone defend herself. In an instant, Lucario was assaulting her with a flurry of kicks and punches. Normally, Goodra would've been able to withstand such an attack. As weakened as she was from the same attack that likely broke several of Furret's bones, however, it proved to be too much for her to handle. One final blindingly-fast blow knocked her out cold, and she hit the floor, making a squelching noise as she lay limp, her slimy body glistening in the sunlight. "Goodra is unable to battle!" Now, Tyler had just 1 more Pokémon left. One more chance at victory. As he recalled Goodra, he took a deep breath. "Alright, Kevin; this is it! This is for all of the marbles!" "Doctor Miller is absolutely right!" the commentator interjected. "With only a single Pokémon left on each team, who's gonna win this match is anyone's guess!" Tyler looked up at the sky, as if he were praying. "It's up to you now; do your best. I don't wanna go back to her as a loser." He primed his final Pokéball. "Sylveon! It's all you!"

  As the lovely, feminine Sylveon emerged from her Pokéball, the audience was on the edge of their seats. For good reason, too; the entire match had been just like the commentator had said; a clash of titans. Kevin Houghtaling, who had taken on the entire Winstrate family, and won without having a single one of his Pokémon get defeated. Tyler Miller, who took not just the Johto region, but the world, by storm, with his defeat of one of the strongest trainers to ever live; Ethan Gold. Each of them was a legend in their own right(even though Tyler was dethroned by his own daughter.), and there they were, atop Realgam Tower, in front of a screaming audience, going at it head-to-head.

  "This is it! It all comes down to this! Kevin Houghtaling, who put an entire family to rout with nothing but shut-outs, or Doctor Miller, who brought down a champion who was considered to be the strongest trainer ever to hail from Johto! Raw cunning and brutality versus beauty, agility, and surgical precision! Which one of these legendary trainers will come out on top?!"

  Whereas Kevin couldn't hold back a smirk and a chuckle, Tyler was quite stoic. In reality, he was so deep in thought, he could barely pay attention to the gushing commentator. His fame. His often-shown(on newscasts and in documentaries.) victory against Ethan. None of it mattered to him at the moment. Earlier, when he raised his head to the sky, he wasn't praying, but he may as well have been. The friend he was fighting for was not improving, despite Tyler putting his vast repertoire of medical knowledge to use. Tyler wasn't one for giving up, but he had been about to do so and leave his friend to the mercy of Arceus, before someone close to him revealed that she could help, but that she would only do so if Tyler faced off against Kevin, and beat him. As an added stipulation, under no circumstances was Kevin, or any of his Pokémon, to hold back. This prevented Tyler from revealing his motives to Kevin, who, despite his harsh demeanor, would no doubt have instructed his Pokemon to allow Tyler to win for the greater good. Whether the hyper-feminine Sylveon or the battle-hardened Lucario emerged victorious would decide the fate of Tyler's dear friend, which is why, as Tyler took a deep breath, he knew he had to put his trust in his Sylveon, and believe that she could win. After another deep breath, Tyler made his decision. "Sylveon! Hyper Beam! You need to bring that Lucario down quickly!"

  Sylveon obeyed and, following a vocalization in her fluttery, sweet voice, she reared her head back and opened her mouth wide. A shining, golden orb of light began to form in her mouth. It's a curious truth that Hyper Beam, one of the most powerful attacks in the Pokémon world, manifests as a harsh, golden light. For some Pokémon, it can be a blinding white, or a menacing scarlet, but it's usually a dazzling gold. In Sylveon's case, it was no different. As she lowered her head to face Lucario, the same golden light was released as a large beam, which struck Lucario dead-on, hurling him backwards and causing him to collide forcefully with one of the barriers. "Such power from such an adorable Pokemon!" the commentator cried out. "Ladies and gentlemen, that may have been the end! A point-blank hit from a Hyper Beam; how could Lucario be expected to - OH, DEAR ARCEUS!!!!"

  The commentator's voice. Horrified gasps from the audience. Tyler's cry of "NOOOO!!!!" A bloodcurdling scream. They all filled the stadium at once. Sylveon lay on her side, her completely blue eyes growing dull and lifeless. It wasn't exactly hard to see why. Lucario was kneeling beside her, one of his spiked paws pressed against the fur of her stomach. He had run up to her and stabbed her while the Hyper Beam explosion was settling. Worse yet, as he pulled back and retracted the spike, more than blood came out; a sickly-looking foam began to bubble up from the entry wound. Lucario had defeated Sylveon with Poison Jab. "Sylveon is unable to battle! Lucario wins! Victory goes to Kevin Houghtaling!"

  The speed at which Tyler ran to his fallen Sylveon was impressive, to say the least. "Sylveon? Sylveon?!" he cried out, audible, thanks to the chorus of Kevin's entrance theme now playing, only to himself and the fallen creature, whom he now held in his arms. "Sylveon; speak to me!" She opened her mouth, but she didn't speak. She couldn't; instead, she let out a shuddering, pained gasp before falling limp in Tyler's arms. After recalling her, Tyler took off at a full sprint, heading backstage.

  It was a few minutes before Kevin was able to break away from the crowd, by which point Tyler was tending to Sylveon and comforting her with assurances of "it's gonna be alright," "don't worry," and "it's not as bad as it looks(this, of course, was a blatant lie, but Tyler was making definite progress at treating the wounds, and, as such, saw no reason to frighten her.)," while stroking her cheek with his free hand. He was spraying some amber liquid from a spray bottle straight onto the wound with his other hand when he heard a voice from behind him. "Typical; treating your Pokémon like babies. No wonder you couldn't beat me. While you're at it, why don't you just give her a fucking lollipop?!" "Fucking asshole," Tyler swore under his breath. "What was that?" Kevin demanded. "You fucking asshole!!" Tyler bellowed, standing up and turning to face him at the same time. "How dare you lecture me about raising my Pokémon?! Your Lucario almost killed my Sylveon! Not to mention, Furret's gonna be recovering for weeks! She has broken bones from when your Lopunny kicked her!" "It's not my fault," Kevin said coolly, "that your Pokémon are frail. Plus, I didn't say your Pokémon are weak; just that you're coddling them." "I want them to be happy," Tyler said defensively, as he turned around, knelt down, and went back to administering the amber-colored medicine to his Sylveon. "There's more to Pokémon training than teaching them to fight; Pokémon need love and affection, just like we do." To illustrate his point, he stroked Sylveon's cheek with his free hand again, which earned him a weak smile and a lick from his pink-furred friend. "Love and affection," Kevin repeated, finding himself unable to hold back a sly grin as he dropped his tough-guy persona in favor of his true personality. "Something you and Shaymin must know a lot about!"

  Tyler stopped cold. He didn't even turn around as he continued talking. "Sh-Shaymin... a-and I? What're you talking about? We're just friends!" Kevin laughed heartily. "You're not fooling anybody! I know it, Sakura(Kevin's daughter and wife.) knows it, she knows it, and I'd be worried if you didn't know it, too." "What're you talking about?!" Tyler repeated. Kevin smacked himself in the face with his right hand out of annoyance. "Mew Christ; do I have to spell it out for you?! Shaymin. Wants. You. She wants you bad. What's more, I'm pretty sure she got what she wants." In the face of such an absurd argument, Tyler couldn't help but laugh. It didn't last long, though, before his voice became almost monotone. "I appreciate the laugh, dude, but you aren't even close." "Like Hell I'm not!" Kevin argued. "How stupid do you think I am?" Tyler didn't trust himself to answer, so he kept quiet while Kevin continued his rant. "You brought her from The Hall Of Origin(the ethereal home of most of the Legendary Pokémon.) to live with you, and you've spent every night in bed with her for the past week! Don't think for a second that I don't know what you're doing with her! Are you just cuddling, or are you taking it further? Pruning her bush? Stopping to smell the roses? Planting seeds in her garden? Plowing the field? Tapping her for syrup(Tyler had to use a great deal of willpower not to laugh at that joke, as horrid as the implications of it would be, considering what the real situation was.)?" In the few seconds of awkward silence that followed, Tyler struggled to fight back an extremely powerful desire to slap Kevin across the face. Instead, he found himself revealing the truth in a terse, annoyed growl. "Shaymin's dying."

  *Author's Note*

  Well, there it is! Chapter 1! What do you think? Should I keep going? By the way, I had originally planned to call this chapter "Sore Loser," but I realized at the last minute that it just didn't sound right. Also, I decided on Realgam Tower as the starting location because, if Tyler and Kevin fought at the Indigo Plateau, Tyler would be favored by the audience. I didn't want that to happen. Oh, by the way, this is Realgam Tower.

  http://bulbapedia.bulbagarden.net/wiki/Realgam_Tower

  Kevin's entrance theme, by the way, is Smooth Criminal by Alien Ant Farm. Tyler's, obviously, is It's My Life by Bon Jovi, but I had considered several songs before settling on that one, including:

  Connect by ClariS(Anime fans know this as the theme for Puella Magi Madoka Magica.)
  Modern Doctor Who theme
  Bad Case Of Loving You by Robert Palmer
  Theme from Trauma Center: Second Opinion
  Kamikaze by Owl City
  Ho-Oh's theme from HeartGold, SoulSilver, and Omega Ruby.
  Fight 'Em Till You Can't by Anthrax(careful looking this one up; it has EAS tones in it.)
  This Is Only A Test by Pennywise
  Seven Rings In Hand by Crush 40(cover.)
  Bring It On by Alvin And The Chipmunks(be thankful I didn't choose this.)
  And a few others.

  Thanks, Neptune and Wolfie, for having enough confidence in me to give me permission to include them as characters, as well as Neptune, specifically, for being my beta reader. That means a lot to me. Well, don't be shy! Tell me what you think, everyone! Be honest, though, even if the truth hurts.

  • Auxiliary Staff
Grand Master

Neptune

Posted
  • Auxiliary Staff
Posted

This is a good start, I definitely look forward to reading more. 

I think the only complaint I can see about this, is that due to speech being so close to each other, it was a bit difficult to see who was talking and I had to re-read parts to make sure I knew who was talking. That did break the immersion for me a little. But other than that, I enjoyed it :3

  • 2 weeks later...

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing

Recent Announcement

24th May 2023: We are making a large change to our policy for gallery uploads made on this site, which effects everyone. To read these policy changes and how they may affect you, please click or tap here to read more.

Information

Help and Support

Roleplay Suite

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue. Read our Privacy Policy for more information.

  I accept
Please Sign In or Sign Up