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How You Tear The RP Contract


Elena Ichinomiya
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This might sounds provoking or may get personal. If it do, i'm sorry and you don't need to answer. I just being curious.

What did you do/say when discontinue an RP with a jerk/turd/law breaking RPer for good? Perhaps something savage or badass thing you ever said/do that make them realize messing with you is bad move. Ghosting is still count as answer but i'm sure we say our piece before doing so.

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"Lets just say when you met them for first time, they seems alright until you realize in the middle of RP it was mistake to RP with them"
#HowDoYouDo #Kicktator #EmbraceTheFlame

Edited by Elena Ichinomiya
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Since it might sounds unfair to ask everyone without sharing mine, here's my discontinuation experience. 

Back in the day, there's a dude who seems fond of my OC. But later on it goes from lewd and kinky into obsession gone horribly wrong. He never chill on any group RP i got involved with, claiming i'm only allowed to private RP with him. I ask him to stop but he being ridiculous. So i just chew him and end it with pointing the truth

"I RP with you out of pity" and then proceed to left the group.

 

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Try to talk to them OoC to amicably resolve the situation and if they don't listen I just ghost/ignore them and go on with my day. I try to avoid drama at all costs. A little boring, yes... but I don't want to be stressed about some RP chud being a douche. 😋

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Hm never had to in those terms... I don't ghost on people; I'm grown and don't need to sneak around on the internet. But... My outro technique?

I tell you what you are doing wrong. You don't address them, I say thanks and goodbye. 

Mature lol. Ghosting is rude and serves no purpose.

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I’ve done multiple ways.

I’ve tried OOC speaking with them to tell them what they are doing I don’t like, or at least speaking with them to see if there was any way to continue the role play or just flat out saying “I don’t think this is working anymore. I’m stepping away from this roleplay, have a nice day.”

I’ve always had my characters in the plot go off on theirs if they wouldn’t listen to boundaries. 

I’ve also had to get snappy and chew others out for not listening. I don’t prefer drama but if it’s brought on due to the other respective party not listening then it has to be done.

I’ve even ghosted some people due to the fact they wouldn’t listen. Not my preferred method but if they won’t listen to reason or anything I have to say they don’t even deserve the chance of me saying I’m done.

 

What people tend to forget on here is that no one is owed anything. No one HAS to respond or agree to a role play. And also roleplay is a two way street. It will only work if both partners are agreeing and understanding of boundaries. I find call outs on the main pages quite childish and foolish. Save the drama for personal inbox messages. BUT no one deserves to be harnessed about not sending out a response or ghosting someone.

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Depends on the partner.

I'll usually just ghost people who are problems. If they're problematic but they have been reasonable in the past, I'll try to talk to them. Some role plays I just forget about unintentionally and don't say anything until it's way too late.

It really doesn't have to go any further than "This is finished". Ghosting is the most fun, though. Mostly because I thrive in chaos and sometimes they get pushy.

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Hmmm... I think I disagree, somewhat; we ALL deserve to be respected and to RP in a respectful setting.

It's even in the rules! Lol

But handling the rude or those who show none, yeah you may have to do some of that.

Edited by Hand Solo
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In my years of RPing I've been fortunate enough that I haven't ever had to do this. I get the feeling that it's a lot less common to find female roleplayers who would be so unreasonable.

Worst I've ever had is just lackluster one-liner partners, and I handle that by just entering "low effort mode" to match them and bringing the RP to a conclusion as early as I can.

I have been ghosted quite a bit myself (not so much within this community). I prefer to assume it's just life getting in the way of things, as it does, but sometimes it's obvious that I've been dropped on purpose. In that case it's not worth it to pursue them, but it certainly is frustrating that they don't try to discuss whatever the issue is with me.

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While I avoid ghosting people if I can but if something doesn’t work out I find it difficult want to continue. One-liners lost interest fast and I just sometimes forget about them since nothing is memorable.
 

Other times I look at the rp and find myself drawing blanks as what to put until finally I have the inspiration on what to write.. sometimes it can take a few days and I don’t always tell my partner when It hits me which I should more often but my brain doesn’t stop flipping channels. 
While I have been ghosted many a times myself I just try to give them the benefit of a doubt as I am understanding of how life can be or how even I can come up dry I believe they can as well. After awhile if I don’t completely forget about the rp I might bump them to see how they are doing and such but most of the time I just forget so it dies off. 

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  • 1 month later...

Just got another broken deal.

While i do say i never ghost, on contrary, i do ghosting few times. But not without reason or simply "Out of interest" but rather grow tired reminding them.

In this case, i was tired reminding my RP partner but not because they being douche but rather not comply my warning that they write too short aka one liner that doesn't give me idea where to go.

I mean if one liner is like this: "Dude walk toward Dudette and ask if she want to date with him". I don't mind because i know what to do next

But the one i ghost is: "Dude walk toward Dudette". Then? What? Reply by saying hearing his footstep?

I warn the said ghosted RPer that their reply make no sense due to being too short THREE TIMES. I even skip turn because he keep repeating those mistake. So in the end, i ghost him. Ghosting is bad i know, but i already sent warning 3 times for same mistake which is ridiculous. Perhaps he take my kindness for granted. Well too bad, who said i'm nice person through and through?

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In those cases, after repeated warnings that they're not putting anything into the story and making me do all the work, I firmly take the reins and end it conclusively. 

  • Dude walks toward dudette.
  • Dudette turns to see him approach.
  • Dude stops in front of her.
  • Dudette says, "hi, can I help you, weird guy who is staring at me for no discernible reasons?"
  • Dude: "hi."
  • Dudette turns, walks away, get into a cab to the airport, hops on a plane, and flies away to an undisclosed location, never to be seen again.
  • END
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Now, I haven't roleplayed much on this site. I'm still newer here, after all. And this seems to a better place to not get ghosted as much on other sites that I've visited. 

A while back, I use to get ghosted a lot. And it was never clear why, I'm a much more passive roleplayer, trying to appeal to others as much as I can to well, get on their good side so to say. I try to open, I try to be friendly, but... But but but, a lot of times, when everything seemed alright. I would get ghosted for no reason. No argument, no OOC discussion, nothing.

A lot of times I would start a roleplay with someone, but then they'd never reply, which I would give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they had things going on in their lives, I didn't know. 

Yet what really... Ground my mind in two, was that let's say... Discord, a place I'd roleplay in once in a while. Many times, and I mean many times in a server that I'd be in where roleplay usually took place, though I roleplayed in DMs,  I'd see my partner talking and discussing with other people to roleplay. Now that would be fine, I've roleplayed with a few people at a time. I'm use to it. But then they'd never say anything back again. Complete waste of time. 

And I've always considered it a game of luck when it comes to if they would continue with me after starting a roleplay, so now every time I do, I'm always anticipating if that kind of thing would happen again. I'm really nervous when it comes to asking someone if they wanna roleplay, especially if they're well known. 

It's stupid when I really think about it, like why start a roleplay if you're not gonna reply ever, and if you weren't interested in it in the first place. Then why even bother talking to me about it? But I rarely ever ghost people, there's no need for it. It's annoying and kinda dick-ish, but there's always that one chance I have a lot of things to catch up with in real life, and sometimes it's a little too late to tell them that you were just busy. 

But we all have to take responsibility once in a while, right?

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I completely agree with @Quotation

 I have never ghosted, but I am currently thinking of canceling some conversations.

 If, after discussing an RP, I wait a month (or more) and still have no answer, what sense does it make? Especially if the people in question are online very often and interact.

Of course I don't expect them to answer me, but 1 minute to say "I'm busy, sorry", you can find it. Well for me it's just a matter of education.

Or there are those who are looking for you, make sure you create an engaging RP and disappear or respond with a word (but why are you looking for me? Am I the only one making an effort?).  I'm a very clear person (if I have a problem, I generally communicate it): after a month of no contact without valid explanations, I cancel the text. In general, RPs are not yet born when I delete everything so there is no problem in communicating it.

Edited by Tsuki
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I feel much less in a hurry to reply here, while on F-List it was straight out chatting to make things move forward. This took some time to adjust to, of course, but it honestly feels better that I can return and reply to RPs when possible. I still like faster and direct (like on Discord), but this is good too.

And yes, if an RP has not moved in weeks and weeks it seems safe to assume there was not the same interest or even a big one in the first place.

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If I have ghosted anyone it has been on accident. Usually I can tell within a few exchanged texts if someone is worth RPing with and I tend to error on the side of caution so, that, plus a dose of luck, have kept me out of uncomfortable situations so far.

Also, honestly I prolly make others more uncomfortable than they make me =p

Also, Also, I turn down 90% of RP offers even when they seem good, so I actually have only RPed with like a dozen people over time. I turn most down more because I get easily overwhelmed than them doing anything wrong.

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In case i'm the one who got ghosted, i start sent bump message at least three time (once per week) after no activity shown for sometime (A month at least). Three bump and no news, they're nominated for deletion. No need to always keep me up to date every single day if thing got hectic IRL, just say what the hey happen there once is enough for me to put the RP on-hold folder.

Heck, i even put the bump terms on my RP preference sheet!

The term also apply to me; In case i shown no sign of activity on our RP, don't hesitate to bump. If i'm volatile person, i already long have banned tag on my name so don't be afraid.

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I must admit that I had some unpleasurable experiences too, but usually I don't erp with strangers. Sure sometimes I want to play with someone new, who doesn't, but in that case usually I want to know that person before we start getting "intimate" in that sense.

Most of the times I felt uncomfortable was because someone kept insisting pushing on my limits, eventually making the rp go into a direction I really didn't want it went, but then it was too late to stop (most of the times, making me going through some kind of punishment or humiliation I didn't want). I don't want to get in the details, it was a pretty twisted story, sorry if I'm not being clear with all of you. Eventually I just started ghosting on that partner, sometimes she still writes to me, but she isn't going to get anything from me ever again. I liked her personality, but I couldn't take the humiliation she loved putting me through any longer.

Then there were times with people who didn't understand or straight away ignored my requests, or one liners that didn't put ANYTHING for me to work with. I already struggle to find words sometimes, don't make it harder for me. As previously said by Elena Ichinomiya one liners that give you ideas are not a problem, but seriously, put in some effort, I've been a one liner when I first started erp, but I did my best to communicate (I don't wanna look like a smartass, now I don't write much and I don't consider myself a good rper). Also if I explicitly tell you that for some reason, that even I don't understand, I just CAN NOT bring myself to take dominant roles unless I tell you, you don't keep pestering me to do that. ANYWAY, back to the topic, those were the kind of people I just asked once, twice, then just ghosted. Most of them didn't even look for me anymore, I guess they lose interest pretty fast.

Other times I broke the contract was because of me. I tried experimenting something new, like erping with boys, femboys or futas, but... I just didn't like that most of the times, and when I did, it was because, I kind of felt humilitated? I am not sure. I think it was a case of forced bi, since the girl I talked about before was the one continuously pushing me to do that. Eventually I just told them what was going on and some of them understood, the others just started to angrily storm at me, and for a good reason, since most of the times I was the one approaching. I had nothing against those partners, and I feel really sorry for them.

There were other times when my partners just left out of nowhere. Then they came back hours later with a one line reply. oh boy, I hate THAT, so much. I get it, life is complex and hard. But for the love of god, just tell me that you're leaving for a bit, instead of making me wait, while feeling bad, fearing I said or did something wrong, or just tell me that you don't want to erp with me anymore. I get that, nobody is compatible with each other and that's okay, Just for fuck's sake (kinda literally in this contest lol) communication is number one priority.

Looooong post, huh? I guess my rping experience wasn't so good as I thought it was.

Also:

"In those cases, after repeated warnings that they're not putting anything into the story and making me do all the work, I firmly take the reins and end it conclusively. 

  • Dude walks toward dudette.
  • Dudette turns to see him approach.
  • Dude stops in front of her.
  • Dudette says, "hi, can I help you, weird guy who is staring at me for no discernible reasons?"
  • Dude: "hi."
  • Dudette turns, walks away, get into a cab to the airport, hops on a plane, and flies away to an undisclosed location, never to be seen again.
  • END"

what a real baddie, that's hot.

 

(not pinging anyone since I don't want to disturb)

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I haven't really had anyone who has been a jerk during the roleplay, but i definitely had some who were rude while starting the roleplay up.

For example, someone messaged me and they wanted to start up a roleplay with me. I myself enjoy to have some smut in a story. I don' t enjoy doing roleplays without any smut at all because it's a bit bland for me. Smut adds a bit of spice to the story, you know? I have a particular plot in mind, it was something about my character being a hybrid, the other character would be a rich man who'd buy the hybrid and keep him as a pet, eventually they'd fall for each other, etc. Anyway, this guy comes to me with a character that has a phobia of germs, meaning he wouldn't be touching my character. This wasn't what i was looking for, after all it would basically take all the smut and romance away, they'd only really be able to talk to each other from a distance. So this guy was like 'okay', he sent me another character and this character was polyamorous.

Just to clarify things first, i respect anyone who's polyamorous but i'm not comfortable roleplaying something like that, so i told him. Then, this guy got all mad, saying i was only looking for smut and that i pay too much attention to the little details. I was a bit annoyed at that moment. I had clearly stated in my preferences i wasn't comfortable with polyamory AND i didn't like roleplays without smut. So this guy simply left the chat. I decided to block him because i didn't want to run into him anymore, which is only logical isn't it? Later on, he made a second account to get back into my PM's to insult me (ThE aUdAciTy) and i thought it was quite funny. I'm never one to really start a fight so i just laughed at it. I simply left the chat once more and reported him. Sadly enough the staff on that community wasn't the best and they never really took care of the problem, but it's been a while now and i haven't been bothered anymore.

 

Even when someone's being a jerk to me or such i either just leave or tell them what they've done wrong and leave after that. I don't feel like wasting time on a shitty roleplay partner while i could simply go out there and look for new ones. 😂

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  • 3 months later...

Sometime, outside factor can play the part why i burn down the RP contract. 

I used to RP with someone who basically chill in RP, but trigger happy when they in public chat. You won't find the said person chatting without turning their caps lock off. At first, i thought they just mess around on chat because people there love to make remark (politic joke, dark humor, kinky humor, some willy nilly stuff, you name it). However later on the said fella make a scene that i couldn't even bring myself to forgive. I won't tell you what they do, just imagine they kick your pet, laughing at it and kick it again and pee on it. The mistake is so severe and not to mention they put it on public while so adamant they do nothing wrong. The community burst in flame with hate (i would say half of the community since it happen on active hours). But rather than joining pitch fork and torch party, i directly talk to the fella in our RP that i can't help myself but disgusted and decide to wash my hand off of them, start with discontinuing the RP. Even though they don't put a harm on me specifically, i can't help but feel disgusted knowing i RP with such person.

In the end, i learn a lesson that what we do in RP community especially on public, will also affect our RP partner comfort zone even though we're not directly aim our gun at them.

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