Dealing with somone who confused my Rp persona with who i am

[BlakeRp]

SO, let's set the scene, enter me BlakeRP just starting to want to rp over the interwebs and eager to start it. But a problem occurs I don't know how to get set up, so brainstorm solution, go on omegle, do rp's and eventually trade Kik's with people. Goes good for a couple days. Until I meet this one guy who I shall just call Sidd. So Sidd likes what we do, he really enjoys it, But then he starts getting weird about it. Saying things like "Oh if only I can meet you in real life, i'd fuck the shit outa you" and "god I was watching porn and all I could think of was you." LIke thanks? Don't really know how to respond to that. 

So here I am trying to explain to this guy that I don't want to meet up irl, and that im not infact his dirty slut to do what he wants to and he gets PISSED, like suuuper mad. He starts making threats and trying to blackmail me, he starts going on how "he thought I was the one" and "I was so special why am I fucking it up." And I got pissed because DUDE I like to rp and play all these dirty roles, but that don't mean I want you talking to ME like that.

So I blocked him, moral of the story, don't confuse the persona I put on in my RP's as who I am in real life. While my fantasies that I play out in rp form are a part of who I am, im not really the type of girl to fuck in public or degrade myself for anyone. 

Thanks for coming to my rambly rant about a guy who couldn't separate BlakeRP from Blake

Stay Lovely!  

[Dozle The Crusader]

[JennyDK]

I am appalled and shocked that such individuals roam sites meant just for silly and lewd fun. People who has no idea where to draw the line and has the social skills of a fucking bag of door knobs.

So good on you for quickly resolving this and recognzing such a filthy and degenerate piece of beta male as this guy!

Thank YOU for taking the matter into your hands and avoiding such a toxic individual!

[Elena Ichinomiya]

Yeah been there, done there. I even meet one who going miles high by sending a picture of someone hand (he claim its his hands) slit open all bloody and said he will kill himself if i keep reject him over an RP just like what happen to you.

Guess even on supposed adult site, there's still other things to worry about other than jerks; Maniac people.

[Typical Blue Haired Dude]

It amazes me how people don't seem to have the capability to discern between reality and fiction.  I can't say I haven't been guilty of that in my foolish teen years, but I can say that it's good you chose to get rid of that person when you did.  It's super sad, because even though he says "you were the one" as if he loved you, it looks like he was just treating you like an object with all those lewd requests.  And that's definitely not okay-

Makes me wonder where all the common sense went in the world sometimes.  That being said, I hope you are doing well today, and that you don't have to deal with any more people like that, at least not here in EcchiDreams.  

[Arknight]

It is one of the risks of the internet, anonymity can give people courage to do things that they would not do in a real social environment, they feel that there are no risks which allows them to over-limit themselves.

It is important to know how to identify these people and get away before they create a dependency relationship with you. One piece of advice I give is to always do PR in the third person, psychologically it feels less personal, which helps prevent certain people from taking certain attributions.

My story, a similar one to Elena's, I was threatened with suicide if I did not maintain a constant flow of messages, the person in question interpreted my delay with which I was doing rp with other people and began to tell me that it belonged to her/him (you never know) and that I had no right to that. The good thing about the internet is that as long as you are careful it is very easy to end these types of "relationships", thanks to the same anonymity that allows them to take shape.

[JennyDK]

In all honesty, if someone said to me they would kill themselves, if I did not do as they wished, I would not at all feel like I had part of them doing so and zero guilt and responsibility.

If you want to end your life, that is indeed sad and tragic, but in the end it is and never will be my problem. I will not let someone guilt trip me into doing things I am not cool with. So if you are really serious about suicide? Then whatever...do it and let me live my life.

[Eros Angel]

Huh, I'm thinking about it and I don't remember meeting any psychos, and I talk to a lot of people, have I just gotten lucky?

[JennyDK]

4 hours ago, Eros Angel said:

Huh, I'm thinking about it and I don't remember meeting any psychos, and I talk to a lot of people, have I just gotten lucky?

Yes, yes you have xD

 But I guess it also depends on when your "psycho sense" goes off

[Novaer]

15 hours ago, BlakeRp said:

...Saying things like "Oh if only I can meet you in real life, i'd fuck the shit outa you" and "god I was watching porn and all I could think of was you." LIke thanks? Don't really know how to respond to that. 

So here I am trying to explain to this guy that I don't want to meet up irl, and that im not infact his dirty slut to do what he wants to and he gets PISSED, like suuuper mad. He starts making threats and trying to blackmail me, he starts going on how "he thought I was the one" and "I was so special why am I fucking it up." And I got pissed because DUDE I like to rp and play all these dirty roles, but that don't mean I want you talking to ME like that.

So I blocked him.

I believe you did the right thing here, @BlakeRp.

There are, unfortunately, people out there who are - and I don't use this word, lightly - toxic. Whether they can help it or not, I don't know. Let me explain my opinion/experience... As best as I can:

There are a lot of socially awkward people out there (Hello!), which is on itself a "spectrum" of sorts, IE; some are worse than others. I have found that it's those who are socially awkward who tend to gravitate towards this form of roleplay. Now; I'm not saying that everyone who does this form of roleplay is socially awkward, those that are, aren't usually as bad as this extreme either. There are also - like in every hobby, every facet of life - those who are mentally deranged, deluded and outright selfish. Just like there are those who are hostile to outsiders, newcomers and can be quite elitist, but that's a whole different branch of toxicity that's not related here. 

• If he can't help it, he needs to get professional help. Fast. It certainly doesn't give him an excuse to treat people the way you've described either. I know a few people might jump and say "If he can't help it, you need to be more understanding of that." That's not how the world works, and those people need to stop pushing their morality on other people. Even if someone can't help it, there's no justification in forcing people to put up with it. 
• If he can help it, he needs to grow the fuck up and mature. Fast. He'll eventually learn, hopefully, that acting the way he does is a sure fire way of not getting what he wants. 

For either of these two paths; it's completely on him. Only he can make his own choices and decisions and only he can decide to sort his life out. As for your choice, you chose to block him, and I totally understand that decision, and it's probably what I would have done, after a few choice words. In short, I think it's the best thing you could have done.

15 hours ago, BlakeRp said:

Moral of the story, don't confuse the persona I put on in my RP's as who I am in real life. While my fantasies that I play out in rp form are a part of who I am, im not really the type of girl to fuck in public or degrade myself for anyone. 

Thanks for coming to my rambly rant about a guy who couldn't separate BlakeRP from Blake

This is all too true, and exactly the reason why I have a disclaimer in my roleplayer preferences. Unfortunately there are people out there who can't tell fantasy from reality, and will try to twist and bend anything said to them, into their own narrative that should be worthy of a gold medal in the olympics of mental gymnastics. Probably time to cut it here before I get a fedora and a grow a neck beard. 

Take care and stay safe.

[Eros Angel]

29 minutes ago, JennyDK said:

Yes, yes you have xD

 But I guess it also depends on when your "psycho sense" goes off

You're prolly right, I just don't remember as my memories are being devoured by marijuana like the Nothing from the never ending story^^

[JennyDK]

While I have not had someone as batshit crazy as that person, I have had PLENTY of idiots, who thinks it is okay to keep pestering me and other stupid shit

[Warning]

Jesus... just reading your second paragraph made me nervous. This is the kind of people you do NOT wanna toy with. I think there is a term being psychopath or sociopath for people like those, not sure. Stay safe and away from those people, it's not worth it. Insane people exist (and I see enough already nowadays) and the best thing to do is to ignore and/or get rid of them.

[Aura]

As a man who plays almost exclusively female characters, it's hilarious how many people have accused me of "catfishing" when they were never going to meet up with me in the first place. It baffles me how many people can't separate fact from fiction and believe themselves to be in the right in telling me to change my profile because it gave them a hungry boner. I'm sorry the idea of femininity is such an inherent crime. (Just wait until they find out there are trans people out there.)

I've had my fair share of people who think our RP is real intent and, if you know the types of stuff I like to roleplay, that has led to making some incredibly terrifying realizations about certain people. I would like to think it was just to set a creepy mood, but I've met people online who were extremely persistent that I tell them my address so that they could actually kidnap me with the promise that they would take "good care" of me and that I'd "never be hurt again." These are the same kinds of people who would roleplay serial killer stalk and rape scenarios that would often go into extremely graphic detail. It's truly terrifying that people will roleplay these things and still be unable to separate fiction from reality. Like anybody in real life would actually be turned on by a scenario like that happening to them. Much of this was while I was still a minor, too, which only adds like twelve more layers of fucked up. (These were definitely older men.)

Lord, this world is a scary place and I genuinely fear for the safety of high-school-age girls in such a predatory world. It's honestly really disheartening because, growing up, there's nothing I thought I'd want more than having a daughter, but the more I think about the state the world is in right now, I think I'd be terrified for her every day of my life. 

[BlakeRp]

Well if im going to be honest, i don't think most of the people who do this would even have the balls to really do it even if you gave in. From what i know of people they'll just be fucking mean and creepy but the second they meet you irl most of them are cowards, but there are definitely those who would do it. And it's upsetting that you had this, plus i play male and female characters; i don't see the problem, we rp to have fun and ROLE PLAY a CHRACTER what does your real gender matter?

So Keep on @Aura  keep being beautiful you beautiful wo/man!

[Aura]

15 minutes ago, BlakeRp said:

Well if im going to be honest, i don't think most of the people who do this would even have the balls to really do it even if you gave in. From what i know of people they'll just be fucking mean and creepy but the second they meet you irl most of them are cowards, but there are definitely those who would do it. And it's upsetting that you had this, plus i play male and female characters; i don't see the problem, we rp to have fun and ROLE PLAY a CHRACTER what does your real gender matter?

So Keep on @Aura  keep being beautiful you beautiful wo/man!

On one hand, I'd definitely say there isn't a doubt in my mind these people wouldn't have had the balls to actually go through with half the stuff they said they would, but the fact that these men thought of me as an underage girl, they probably saw me as an easy target. The kinds of people who would prey on minors are the kinds of people who are intimidated by women their age. They want to be in control rather than be challenged, and that is where the abusive nature of the whole situation grows from. And it's so, so easy to play into the escapist desires of a teenager in today's society that piles on so many stresses and fears onto the shoulders of the youth. We pressure kids to act like adults and then act surprised when they start getting involved in adult matters before they're ready. It's disgusting on all fronts, really.

[Dozle The Crusader]

sounds like a crusade that would be needed in my book 

[NerdyNekoFemboy]

That pissed me off reading it, there's a HUGE difference between me in RP and me in real life. Sure I may roleplay as a sissy boy who acts like a baby, but in real life I'm a fuckin' viking lol.

[Kozilea]

That sounds exhausting, tbh.

[Somethingsomething]

On 08/08/2020 at 14:29, Aura said:

Lord, this world is a scary place and I genuinely fear for the safety of high-school-age girls in such a predatory world. It's honestly really disheartening because, growing up, there's nothing I thought I'd want more than having a daughter, but the more I think about the state the world is in right now, I think I'd be terrified for her every day of my life. 

Well, of course there are awful people in this world but there are just as many or even more people that are kind and loving. Being afraid for your daughter every day would not be the right approach to this situation. Just as with raising boys, girls need to be raised to be self-confident and to know that it is okay to voice their concerns, to have their own opinion. Of course girls and women are sexualized much more in most societies and I guess if you ask around, every woman around you will have dealt with some kind of sexual assault in her life. But this mostly does not come from people that are absolutely mad (like kidnappers, etc.) but mostly from just regular people that cross lines which they mostly do not even know exist. And this is what scares me even more.

An example. I was traveling through Portugal (I guess I was.. 24? 25?) and I was staying in a hostel. I talked to all the people of my room and planned to go to the beach with two really sweet (not by the means of looks, but rather by their personalities) Israeli guys the next days. I also talked to an Australian guy, for like 5 minutes, before we figured out that we had nothing in common and everybody minded his own business again. I eventually went to sleep and the next thing I remember is someone stroking over my back. I opened my eyes and saw the Australian guy sitting next to me on the side of my mattress. I blinked, checked the time, it was somewhat 5 am, and then asked him why he had woken me. He said that he liked our conversation and that he thought we could talk a bit. Yeah, right. Talking. I really politely told him that I did not feel like talking (I even managed to say a sarcastic "I feel honored that you liked our conversation so much") and that he should go back to his bed (alone!) and that I wanted to go back to sleep so he left (fortunately without any complains). I am not shocked easily so I straight on went back to sleep but when I woke up the next morning I was so upset for him being so impudent to wake me in the middle of the night, clearly wanting to hook up with me for absolutely no reason. Fortunately, as I said, I am not shocked easily, but for someone else, this might as well have been a really terrifying situation. So in the end I wrote him a letter (because he was still asleep when I left for the beach with the other two guys), telling him that he should reflect his behavior and that he had absolutely no right to either touch me, nor to wake me.

What I wanted to say with this is: Of course there are mad people around that can be and are very dangerous. But I think the real threat is not them but just "regular" people. They are the ones that you will come across the most. They are the people that will creep up behind you in a club, that will touch you even you don't want it, that will ignore what you say and will say something like "Come on, just relax." or "Don't be so uptight.", that will say "I was so drunk" as an excuse after they raped you.

I guess it is a societal problem. I mean who hasn't heard the sentence "if a girl says no she means yes?". How many times have you seen movies in which the female character is hesitant but then the male character just kisses her and voilà they are in love? How many times are you, as a girl, told, that you need to make yourself scarce so you are interesting for guys instead of simply going up to them and telling them how you feel? And I mean this is a completely different topic but simply look at gender roles in porn.. (or in most mainstream music).

I guess the only solution is to raise your children, sons, daughters, with enough self respect, self appreciation and empathy, to tell them to listen to others, to respect other peoples' limits and to reflect on their own behavior.