Things not to say during or just after sex.

[Mr Smith]

That was just my finger

[Redlewd]

Woopies do here comes the goo

[IsabellaRose]

During: Chanting while you're going at it, then taking a knife from the nightstand, "now just hold still while I complete the ritual..."

[Iceassassin25]

Restrict my breathing Father

[Redlewd]

Did you also think of Homer Simpson while doing it?

[Warlock]

I do wonder why I ever ate you out if you clearly don't even get wet for my skills. (Clearly cause he sucks xD)

[IsabellaRose]

YAWN... (and not actually yawning, but saying the word YAWN as someone is doing their best to please you)

[Iceassassin25]

Fuck I never knew that the intestines could feel so good as a condom

[Rucio, Emperor of Cheese]

Oh god, just kill me already.

[Iceassassin25]

I can't believe a zombie is making me cum

[Manni]

1...2...3...!

RIDER KICK!

*Explosion*

[IsabellaRose]

After: "That'll be $2.50! You want fries with that?"

*bonus points to whoever can name that movie*

[Imouto Kanna]

Narrate what's happening  the entire time in third person.

[Elena Ichinomiya]

is that creaking sounds of the bed or you just let out gas there?

[Rucio, Emperor of Cheese]

Don't mind me, I'm just playing Skyrim. You can keep going.

[IsabellaRose]

You gonna eat that?

[Rucio, Emperor of Cheese]

Well, you did better than the dog at least...

[Rodnut]

[Tom screaming]

Or that one other meme scream that I'm not sure what to call. Both wouldn't be quite appropriate, but I'd still laugh non-stop.

[Elena Ichinomiya]

During : ask many time if he get the paper ready

After : "heck no, its been shit!"

[IceMilf]

On 16/12/2014 at 05:04, Temaelrin said:

"Did you wear a condom?"

 

"What the hell is a Condom?"

"I WAS WEARING MY ARMOUR."

[IceMilf]

"There's a lot of room in there, you could probably rent that out and get a profit! And there's two, one for me, and one for my mom!"

^{take that as you will}

[IceMilf]

"I snuck in through the back."

"Me too."

[IceMilf]

^{Amidst the heat of it all; just after the first round; spoiler for bodily diseases that may disgust some people.}

"So, you, me, my mom, in a bath, feeding each other spaghetti off each other's crotches -- what do you think? It's a fantasy I've had for a long time, and I've told her all about you, you're practically a part of the family!

Spoiler

I mean, the rash hasn't cured, and she's still got those warts, but when I told her about you, she absolutely loved you!"

 

Edited February 22, 2020 by IceMilf

[IsabellaRose]

There's snacks in there if you get hungry.

[MagicalGirl]

“You just bend... and SNAP!”

*Starts to mimic the Bend n Snap during a handjob.*